After two dates I get a weird text message Advice needed.

[bruceartest24]

Met this girl and we started talking and she was really cool person and attractive so I asked her out. Our first date we went to a play and had a great time and dropped her off home. She tells me he had fun and excited to see me again we keep in contact.

Second date we went to grab dinner and a movie and she intiated holding my arm while we walked and I gave her a kiss goodnight. Its going well she texts me later on at night and tells me she had an amazing time and if I mind taking it slow and being friends first and she is having fun getting to know me but doesn't want me to waste time on her.

I was really confused..I said is this a polite way of friendzoning me? she said no its just that she doesnt know what she wants.

What should I do going forward?

 

[Yorkex]

Did you kiss her on any of the dates or touch her ?
If not then you presented your self as a friend ..you know girls go in dates with their girlfriends and have a nice fun chat ?

Some girls use dates to eat because they are broke.

 

[bruceartest24]

Did you kiss her on any of the dates or touch her ?
If not then you presented your self as a friend ..you know girls go in dates with their girlfriends and have a nice fun chat ?

Some girls use dates to eat because they are broke.

I kissed her on the second date and she even calls what we go on "dates".

 

[bruceartest24]

she has other men she has designated for the sex zone. You should have escalated to a kiss on the first date bare minimum but then again no telling whether she would have dropped the other men for you regardless so no worries keep at it.

Thanks I will try to see her again this week. I wasnt sure if I should give up or keep on pursuing.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

...tells me she had an amazing time and if I mind taking it slow and being friends first and she is having fun getting to know me but doesn't want me to waste time on her.

This is usually code for ::spoiler alert:: ...oh wait, looks like you already have a good idea of where this likely is headed...

I was really confused..I said is this a polite way of friendzoning me? she said no its just that she doesnt know what she wants.

What should I do going forward?

See, you can't overtly communicate these things to her (or any girl for that matter) - it shoots a harpoon right through the heart of attraction. Read Rollo's post about "just getting it"

http://therationalmale.com/2012/08/22/just-get-it/

"Let's take it slow"/"let's see where this goes"/"baby steps" more often than not leads either straight into the friendzone (as you suspect), or lays out a beta bucks type of frame for a relationship (supposing it even reaches that point). "Doesn't know what she wants?" Pfffttt. If you gave her tingles, she'd know what she wants, believe you me.

Read the link I posted, read the Bible, and as usual, spin more plates.

 

[RangerMIke]

Man, this one is EASY.... Throw away her number... you should be done with her.

 

[bruceartest24]

Thanks for all the advice. It seems like a lose lose situation for me. I actually enjoy spending time with her but I am not looking for a friend.

 

[LMFAO]

Tell her you're not looking for friends and go straight to NC or straight delete her number. Don't waste your time on a date with her with this sort of frame, you have better things to do.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

No one has mentioned it so here goes:

A play, dinner & movie all in 2 dates!? How much $ did you waste?

Stop putting chicks on a pedestal man, you acted like a bf right out the gate.

She did anything to deserve these dates & she got no tingles.

 

[om1xr]

2 possible things:

1- You have been Friendzoned.

2- She has put you in the possible "Boyfriend" category. So her plan is to make you invest more so you want to be exclusive with her.

either way you should stop spending your money like that and go NC and see if she contacts you. If she did then aloofness is your game and make her invested more than you.

good luck.

 

[bruceartest24]

No one has mentioned it so here goes:

A play, dinner & movie all in 2 dates!? How much $ did you waste?

Stop putting chicks on a pedestal man, you acted like a bf right out the gate.

She did nothing to deserve these dates & she got no tingles.

The play was free (perk of my job) I paid for the movies and dinner which was not much at all.

But I get what you are saying, I have other plates but I was most focused on her.

 

[bruceartest24]

2 possible things:

1- You have been Friendzoned.

2- She has put you in the possible "Boyfriend" category. So her plan is to make you invest more so you want to be exclusive with her.

either way you should stop spending your money like that and go NC and see if she contacts you. If she did then aloofness is your game and make her invested more than you.

good luck.

I took 2 days from contacting her and she sent me an essay type text telling me about her weekend and asked how I was doing. I was thinking about asking her out later this week but still not 100%

 

[LMFAO]

The play was free (perk of my job) I paid for the movies and dinner which was not much at all.

But I get what you are saying, I have other plates but I was most focused on her.

Don't take a girl out to dinner before you've fvcked her. Movies is usually a waste of time as well as little chance of escalation. You brought it upon yourself.

 

[Trump]

Its going well she texts me later on at night and tells me she had an amazing time and if I mind taking it slow and being friends first and she is having fun getting to know me but doesn't want me to waste time on her.

I was really confused..I said is this a polite way of friendzoning me? she said no its just that she doesnt know what she wants.

What should I do going forward?

I would reply: "If we can have sex from the next date and from now on, I don't mind taking it slow and being friends first."

Who said taking it slow and getting to know you means no sex?

 

[pyros]

In my opinion, what is going on is that she doesn't know if she likes you or not, which means she doesn't. She sees you more as a friend, so it is a negative result anyway.

It seems she would like to spend time with you because she likes your company, you pay for things etc, so she has a good time with you, but she doesnt get wet when she sees you.

I would reply to her texts etc, but I would not ask her out again. And even if SHE asks you out, you will probably end up being friendzoned anyway. You know, you will go on another date, you will be wondering if she wants to make out or not etc.... and in the end you will try just to check her interest in you, and she will probably avoid being kissed or she will let you kiss her but she will keep seing you as a damn friend.

 

[nismo-4]

This weird text message translates to you either being in the friendzone, LTR boyfriend, beta orbiter, emotional tampon, anything along the lines of beta bucks. Either she was not attracted to you or you presented yourself as beta or no sexual vibes were given from you.

But sex ain't gonna happen with her anytime soon. Women know what they want. Do you think she's gonna take it slow with Channing Tatum? Would you take it slow and be friends first with Katy Perry and Shakira? I don't think so! You can also use Trump's response. I'll try it out too if I get a LTIS or friends first.

Judge nismo's ruling is she's playing alpha fux and beta bux. Guess which one you are? Here's a hint. She is dry as a desert when she sees you and is with you. Since she sees you as beta, (unattractive, but may boost her ego or spend money on her) or you presented yourself as such, this is what happens. Sex first, relationship second. If you go relationship first, you likely won't get either. Instead, you'll be an orbiter.

Establish your sexuality from the get go. In doing this, the woman will either stop responding to you because you showed with actions that you won't be her orbiter or anything else beta bux, or continue to see you because you have done an alpha move. She hopes you will continue to be alpha. Once sex happens, then it's on you to decide if you want a relationship with her.

A man's relationship card is useless unless sex has happened and the girl is into him. Remember that women who are interested in you won't confuse you.

If you do become her BF before sex happens, don't be surprised when your princess is in another castle.

Case closed.

 

[jurry]

I took 2 days from contacting her and she sent me an essay type text telling me about her weekend and asked how I was doing. I was thinking about asking her out later this week but still not 100%

I like midnights advice above, this seems potentially salvageable though if you pull back significantly and come off much more aloof/disinterested and less "boyfriend material".

You may have come on too strong somehow. Keep her in the wings, focus on other things/girls, even if you go out on another date with her keep it light and casual let her move it forward a bit.

 

[LMFAO]

Women are highly opportunistic regarding the opposite sex which many men can't even comprehend. Men rarely see women as much else than in terms of attraction while women are more than happy to go out with guys as friends as long they get something out of it be it attention, free drinks/lunches/dinners, emotional sponging or whatever else. The number of men that get strung along unknowingly is staggering.

In this case the OP just acted as the beta guy with the dinner and co. Women only appreciate that sort of thing once they are your girlfriend. The hooking stage is a completely different ball game.

 

[Peña]

No sex with her. She likes the free dinner and movie you buy her.

Text back "Awwe, that's too bad. Take care"

Then toss the number. If she ever contacts you again, and wants to see you say "I have all the female friends I can handle thanks. If you are interested in a date, let me know"

Lame. She don't care what he says. Giving her a free meal is dumb. Silence is best.

 

[RangerMIke]

I am in bold


Text back "Awwe, that's too bad. Take care"

Then toss the number. If she ever contacts you again, and wants to see you say "I have all the female friends I can handle thanks. If you are interested in a date, let me know"

This. You likely came on too strong or she never had high interest in you.