After the 2nd date

[Drummer93]

After the 2nd date is where I struggle the most, I either end up not interested in them or they end up not interested in me. I went out with this girl twice, she had a boyfriend the first time and I honored the bro code to not kiss another man's woman. The next day she drunk text me saying how much she can't get me out of her head and feels guilty cause she has a boyfriend. She told me she wants to see me again and so we arranged to hang out again. A few days later, the boyfriend breaks up with her by being needy and feminine, it was pathetic. Her and I went out on Wednesday, we had a great time, I kept treating her like a bratty little sister and by the end of the night I was sleeping in her bed with her. No sex, just making out and she was a little nervous cause this was the first time she kissed any guy since her ex and its been 4 years since she was last single. The next day (Yesterday) I left in the morning, she was slightly awkward and I bet its because she just got out of a relationship. She asked if I'm going to tailgate with her sometime, I told her I would let her know because I am NOT going to set a date in person (I learned that in the past). Today I received my schedule and noticed that I am free to go tailgating next Saturday.

My question: Wait a few days before reaching out to her or should I just reach out to her by the amount of high attraction she has for me?

Thanks Gentlemen.

 

[marmel75]

You committed the cardinal sin.

You NEVER, EVER sleep in a woman's bed without fvcking her. NEVER.

She wants you to go tailgate with her because she figures you just want to be her friend, cause you were too afraid to try and make a move and fvck her.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

The tailgating invite? Positive signal. However, what I have learned is it's better to do a woman's date request later in the future, not when she first asks for it. In other words: if she asks you to go tailgating sometime, that is NOT the next date you want to do. Have 2 more outings before you bring up wanting to tailgate with her for the 3rd outing, that way it doesn't look like you're just going to follow whatever idea she has OR do things instantaneously to try and please her.

Beyond that - NO MORE SLEEPING IN A GIRL'S BED THAT YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY HAVING SEX WITH. That's beta stuff, and will get you thrown in the friend zone REAL quick.

 

[Drummer93]

Interesting.. The girl is into me but she can't seem to move on from her ex. She told me that she needs space from her ex cause she doesn't know what to do. The drama turned me off.

Two reasons why I didn't sleep with her:

1.) The girl was on her period, I knew she was based on a certain accident that occurred.. sorry I don't want a murder scene.

2.) I told the girl she's not ready based on her overthinking about her ex. I chose, not her.

Interested view Harry, when do I reach out to this girl?

 

[marmel75]

Interesting.. The girl is into me but she can't seem to move on from her ex. She told me that she needs space from her ex cause she doesn't know what to do. The drama turned me off.

Two reasons why I didn't sleep with her:

1.) The girl was on her period, I knew she was based on a certain accident that occurred.. sorry I don't want a murder scene.

2.) I told the girl she's not ready based on her overthinking about her ex. I chose, not her.

Interested view Harry, when do I reach out to this girl?

Best response to "I'm on my period"?

"It's cool...there's always anal ;-)"

 

[Drummer93]

Best response to "I'm on my period"?

"It's cool...there's always anal ;-)"

She red stained her pants homie.. it grossed me out.

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

If her attraction is as high as you say it is, you won't need to call her first. If for some reason she doesn't wait at least 5-7 days since your date, then call her.

Also I agree you shouldn't be taking a woman on a date that was her idea right away. It looks approval seeking behavior, as previously mentioned. You need to be the man and you need to be in charge and tell her what to do. If you want to tell her that the next date she can plan something for the two of you, that's fine, you're in control in telling her what to do, but make sure she understand that the norm is that you're the man, you plan the dates, and she should trust that you will make sure the both of you have a fun and romantic time together.

Also, from the way you explained the situation it sounds like she's a cheater? Not sure why you want to spend time with a woman like that, but your choice I guess.

 

[Drummer93]

If her attraction is as high as you say it is, you won't need to call her first. If for some reason she doesn't wait at least 5-7 days since your date, then call her.

Also I agree you shouldn't be taking a woman on a date that was her idea right away. It looks approval seeking behavior, as previously mentioned. You need to be the man and you need to be in charge and tell her what to do. If you want to tell her that the next date she can plan something for the two of you, that's fine, you're in control in telling her what to do, but make sure she understand that the norm is that you're the man, you plan the dates, and she should trust that you will make sure the both of you have a fun and romantic time together.

Also, from the way you explained the situation it sounds like she's a cheater? Not sure why you want to spend time with a woman like that, but your choice I guess.

I agree with you. It makes total sense if she had a high level of attraction that she would reach out to me first. After I left she tweeted "I don't even know what I am doing with my life anymore", I think she flirted with the idea of someone new and now she feels guilty for what she did. I'll wait it out.

I wouldn't necessarily call it cheating, I did the exact same thing with an old ex cause at the time the relationship wasn't working. I hung out with a girl a couple times and didn't do anything until I was single. I think her biggest flaw is that she is afraid to be alone so there are dependence there. I also have thought about how disappointed I would be if my girlfriend gave out her number to some guy she thought was cute but I know most women do it when their relationship is failing.

 

[MAYALL]

I wouldn't sweat it dude, if she's really into you, sex will happen. I remember back when I was a teenager and just made out with chicks in their bed. The next time we got together we were fvcking because they wanted me even more.

I wouldn't make a habit out of it, but you had a circumstance here. She should be in contact with you if she is interested. Couple of days after hit her up if she hasn't already.

 

[Drummer93]

I wouldn't sweat it dude, if she's really into you, sex will happen. I remember back when I was a teenager and just made out with chicks in their bed. The next time we got together we were fvcking because they wanted me even more.

I wouldn't make a habit out of it, but you had a circumstance here. She should be in contact with you if she is interested. Couple of days after hit her up if she hasn't already.

Absolutely. Shes 21, i'm 27 and I knew I had to pull back cause she was just getting out of a relationship and going too fast is going to scare her off. I think of women as crock-pots, slow it down and build up the attraction.

We went out Wednesday, i'll give it until Monday and i'll set the next date.