After sex, when to text or call?

[spinaroonie]

You've been on three great dates and had sex on the third date. You left his apartment afterwards and didn't spend the night.

Do you guys contact a girl the day after the first bang if you intend to hit it again? There are definitely different schools on this, and I'm curious what you guys--especially the more experienced among you--do and, of course, what your rationale is behind it.

I've generally subscribed to the I-can-now-show-a-little-bit-softness school and send a quick, silly, or light-teasing text the next day related to something we did or talked about the previous night. The rationale is that it will evaporate any creeping awkwardness in her head and secure her for future escapades.

The other side of that coin is that it's better to keep her wondering for a day or two and then drop a line for maximum effect. Contacting her so immediately conveys, at best, a relationshipy vibe or, worse, a needy, beta

Thoughts?

 

[killerdiller]

Interesting question. If the two of you did not part with plans for a future date, I don't think there's anything wrong with getting in touch with her (or him) and thanking them for the hospitality, although maybe not using that exact language.

Otherwise, I've found that being frank right up front - i.e. "I'd like to see you again. Let's reconcile our schedules and figure out when we can meet again." - makes next-day communication unnecessary. By this point, you've made your intentions clear, and if she's a mature adult, that should be good enough, assuming that she likes you and is interested again. In this manner, you've made your interest clear, but the lack of communication in the interim leaves her headily wondering, "OMG, I hope he likes me."

Obviously, the aforementioned scenarios assume mutual interest.

Edit: You used the phrase "his apartment," but this applies to wondering females as well.

 

[3countriesPlan]

Wow this thread is moist

 

[Kerpal]

You've been on three great dates and had sex on the third date. You left his apartment afterwards and didn't spend the night.

I've generally subscribed to the I-can-now-show-a-little-bit-softness school and send a quick, silly, or light-teasing text the next day related to something we did or talked about the previous night. The rationale is that it will evaporate any creeping awkwardness in her head and secure her for future escapades.

I agree with this line of thinking. I've had several girls tell me that I'm too aloof, etc. If you wait too long to call the girl might think you're just using her for sex (even if you are, you don't necessarily want her to know that) and not allow for any "future escapades".

Also, we live in a time where any girl who is even moderately attractive is being absolutely bombarded with male attention from every angle. You might have gotten away with waiting a few days before, nowadays she'll be more likely to swing to another branch if one is available and you wait too long.

 

[BillieAnn]

But ... why gaming at all??