After first date (OLD vs Cold Approach)

[BJP1991]

After a first date from OLD, is your strategy any different than if you met a girl cold-approach or in person?

For example, I had a pretty good first date last night with a girl from OLD.

In the past with OLD first dates, I have varied the time I take to hit her up again after the first date (I’ve done 1 week, 3-4 days, and even the next day midday). It seems I get mixed results no matter when I text them, which probably is an indication of her interest really. Overall, I haven’t noticed much difference if I text her the next day vs waiting 3-4 days, saying it was fun meeting her and we should do it again sometime. If the girl liked me, she reciprocates and agrees to a second date.



Any thoughts on if it really is a bad thing to hit up a girl about 24 hours after meeting them for the first time? Thinking about texting this girl I had the date with last night sometime today (date was last night, drinks at a bar and more of a get-to-know you thing), or just maybe waiting until Monday.

Thought, opinions, experiences?

Thanks and have a good weekend!

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Somewhat, but I also base it on the girl and my read of her.

Girls on OLD are flooded with options. They tend to be very fickle and hard to pin down, especially the ones under 35yo. They are less committal, less responsive, and much more spontaneous and in-the-moment. I've found they tend to like immediate real-time text responses when they are in the mood to text and are being responsive themselves. If you delay response, you might never hear from them again. Girls like that, I'll respond to very quickly, and I'll also try to setup a same-day date (which I normally never do because it can communicate lack of abundance and neediness). I'll frame it as something fell-through, I'm open now, let's be wild and crazy and take a chance! Meet in an hour! etc. You have to do something to spark adventure. If you don't, odds are she'll just be busy with friends or work or whatever the next few days and not even be thinking about dating. You lost the window.

But aside from the above, I more typically just read the girl and base it on that. Like you, I've experimented with differing response times and haven't really found any correlation. The biggest thing is to ensure you aren't needy, and aren't hitting her up more often than you should be. IE setting a date, then pinging her several days before to "check in". I know many guys here will always check-in and try to keep the vibe going and build rapport and they are very successful with that. I've found most women respond poorly to that, and the ones who want to keep the vibe going will initiate text with ME throughout the week, which I will of course respond to.

 

[SH03C]

After a first date from OLD, is your strategy any different than if you met a girl cold-approach or in person?

For example, I had a pretty good first date last night with a girl from OLD.

In the past with OLD first dates, I have varied the time I take to hit her up again after the first date (I’ve done 1 week, 3-4 days, and even the next day midday). It seems I get mixed results no matter when I text them, which probably is an indication of her interest really. Overall, I haven’t noticed much difference if I text her the next day vs waiting 3-4 days, saying it was fun meeting her and we should do it again sometime. If the girl liked me, she reciprocates and agrees to a second date.



Any thoughts on if it really is a bad thing to hit up a girl about 24 hours after meeting them for the first time? Thinking about texting this girl I had the date with last night sometime today (date was last night, drinks at a bar and more of a get-to-know you thing), or just maybe waiting until Monday.

Thought, opinions, experiences?

Thanks and have a good weekend!

Personally, i'd enjoy your weekend and hit her up Tuesday or Wednesday. After the holiday. You'd want to leave the impression that you're busy this weekend especially given that Memorial Day weekend typically involves a lot of social gatherings for anyone who's not a loser.

Take some time to decompress and enjoy your weekend. Don't overthink your approach at this stage, remain cool calm and collected.

 

[Murk]

The difference is she hasn’t met you in person and gauged your vibe. It’s important with OLD to progress quickly to WhatsApp and phone calls before you meet. Get her laughing, relaxed and DTF before the date.

 

[BJP1991]

Somewhat, but I also base it on the girl and my read of her.

Girls on OLD are flooded with options. They tend to be very fickle and hard to pin down, especially the ones under 35yo. They are less committal, less responsive, and much more spontaneous and in-the-moment. I've found they tend to like immediate real-time text responses when they are in the mood to text and are being responsive themselves. If you delay response, you might never hear from them again. Girls like that, I'll respond to very quickly, and I'll also try to setup a same-day date (which I normally never do because it can communicate lack of abundance and neediness). I'll frame it as something fell-through, I'm open now, let's be wild and crazy and take a chance! Meet in an hour! etc. You have to do something to spark adventure. If you don't, odds are she'll just be busy with friends or work or whatever the next few days and not even be thinking about dating. You lost the window.

But aside from the above, I more typically just read the girl and base it on that. Like you, I've experimented with differing response times and haven't really found any correlation. The biggest thing is to ensure you aren't needy, and aren't hitting her up more often than you should be. IE setting a date, then pinging her several days before to "check in". I know many guys here will always check-in and try to keep the vibe going and build rapport and they are very successful with that. I've found most women respond poorly to that, and the ones who want to keep the vibe going will initiate text with ME throughout the week, which I will of course respond to.

Interesting you mention that about women 35 and younger - I’ve occasionally noticed the same thing.

The case here is that she is older than I am. I’m 28 and she is 35. Partly why I am wondering if I ought to just hit her up this afternoon or maybe wait it out until Monday, but it probably doesn’t really matter all that much. How about with women older than that 35 threshold?

 

[Murk]

“LTR cuck fantasy game”

I’ve heard it all now

 

[oldmanofthesea]

How about with women older than that 35 threshold?

I've only dated one woman over 35 in my life... she was 40. I wanted to say "younger than 30" but the problem there is that OLD causes women who are 30-35 to act like women who are 21-25 (saturated with choices and overly picky). Generally speaking though, the older they are, the busier they are and the more they understand planning things out in advance and that you are busy too. Greater time on the planet gives them greater perspective on time in general, and waiting a few days to get back to them will seem normal. Unless she seems extremely spontaneous and in-the-moment and flighty, I'll usually wait a day or two or more to get back with a girl who is mature.