After 6 months she ended it. (First time I've been dumped)

[nishbuk]

Well...Just got dumped today for the first time ever. 6 month relationship, and she ends it. I guess I'm just venting, since we all know that the real reason was that it was something that I did, or something else about my person.
Of course she fed me the "I want to be honest with you, yadda yadda, (she starts crying) your so sweet, but I get angry at you for no reason, blah, blah, blah, and I feel like there is no reason that you deserve it, blah blah, but I'm not madly in love with you, and that's what I want to feel, and I don't feel that way (she's still crying, me not listening...) bull****. I called her on her lie. Told her I knew she was lying to my face, and that if she wants to be "honest" with me, then she shouldn't feed me the "it's not you, it's me" bull****. That's the worst...
So anyway, when we reached my street (we were walking) I turned to her, said, "You know I really did fall in love with you, see you later ann", then watched for one second, as she put her hand to her mouth and started bawling her eyes out (even though I don't think that I did love her, I still cared about her...still not sure if I know what that means), and then turned around, walked away and didn't look back.

I could spend another paragraph trying to figure out what I need to improve but in the end, we all know, there's no way that a girl will ever tell you why. So you just have to accept, keep doing what you love to do in your life, for YOU, and make an even better man out of yourself, and get back in the game.

Guess I thought that I would just post this to you guys, to warn you to protect your goddamn heart. For the love of god, protect your heart. I've never been dumped before, I guess it's only fitting that it happened from an older woman. Anyway, I'll give myself one week, then I'm getting off my ass, improving myself further, and again start choosing who I should give the privilege of dating me. Back to Short term...

Peace guys. Reading your posts, and getting your help, really has a certain quality of therapy associated with it, and it's changed my life to get me even this far. Thanks for all the hard work, and you can bet that I'll be back DJing after a short cry, and then a self pick me up. Keep it real boys.
And for the love of god, get your ass off the computer and get out there. Spending too much time here, isn't good either.
Don't let the first one keep you too occupied. Live your own life, before you live their life.

 

[NoMoreAFC]

your mistake she knew she had u u were no challenge to her move on mate

 

[darth yoda]

I think you handled it pretty well. Your outlook for the future is also commendable.

Take it as a learning experience, brush yourself off, and keep on truckin'.

 

[MercutioTHEGREAT]

Originally posted by NoMoreAFC
your mistake she knew she had u u were no challenge to her move on mate

Shut the hell up dude that was an A.ss thing to say

hey man I like how you brushed that off not looking back.If I had to go out.....It would have been just like that,because no matter what you would've said you would've known how she really felt...I never had a Long term relationship just a Sh!t load of short terms... I've really struggled with female companionship..It's kinda hard when you would rather hang out chillen with your guys than hangin with a girl I guess i need to do a little growing myself...But dude F*** that chick go out and find an even better one and what ever you do don't pull any AFC BuLLcr*p. Good Luck man and for GodSakes don't Cry(ok if you have to it just fine) hope you feel better go get em!!

 

[JonJack]

It's good that you can let her go. And it's good that you are able to pick yourself up and move on after that.

However, I do disagree about protecting your heart too much. A little control would be good, but total protection can make things a little dull. It's always good to put 100% into anything one does. Failing would be a hard fall, but the strong picks themselves up and learn from that and goes at it again, but the next time better than before.

And what do I mean about better? It means that if you would to leave another relationship, you feel that what you've gained from it is worth all the shyt you've gone through. The loss is always secondary.

 

[Sayajin_Prince]

Shut the hell up dude that was an A.ss thing to say

mercutio i know what im talking about, ive been there, every time u show a girl u have feelings for her you start to be no challenge to her, dont u think ive been dumped too and heard a lot of bull**** like this guy? i did

nishbuk ive been there believe me, interest level may rise and fall so quickly u dont even know what happened, some stud might got in the way and u dont even notice why? because you were too emotionally attached.

do u find my words harsh ok but is just to open your eyes. dont do the same mistake again. read the bible, go out there and find some better girls also improve yourself on other aspects of your life not only girls.

good luck bro

 

[lavalamp]

You handled the situation pretty good, especially calling on her lie and tellin her you loved must have had some impact on her, in a way that 'i loved you but you lost me, goodbye'. Now it's time to regain confidence and going to the field. And do yourself a favor, and get a better girl

 

[MercutioTHEGREAT]

hey no disrespect to you as a person i just thought that the words you said came of a.sshollish and you were being one of those average i wanna sound better than this guy people if your not i apologize for sayin that but for the rest of your post if you are talking about me i'm getting chicks but yeah i still have yet tried for a full on long term ya know but every relationship is goeing longer and longer.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by nishbuk
[/B]

I wish I handled my earliest breakups that well.

*ashamed*

 

[nishbuk]

Thanks all for your words of advice. I appreciate it.
NomoreAFC and Sayjin, I know how to be a challenge. There's no problem there, trust me. But I get what your saying.
And also, what I said is not an assholish thing to say if it might be true...
EDIT: I see now. You weren't refferring to me mercutio, sry.

 

[frivolousz21]

your mistake she knew she had u u were no challenge to her move on mate

thats the most stupid thing I think ive ever read...

you guys are blind to this stuff.

if a women is in love with you? she wont leave you because she knows she has you...are you kidding me?


do you want to love someone and not know you have them?

come on.


the REASON SOME OF THESE relationships fail is because you 2 didnt connect on enuf levels for real love.


why is that so hard to comprehend.


also be confident

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by nishbuk

Of course she fed me the "I want to be honest with you, yadda yadda, (she starts crying) your so sweet, but I get angry at you for no reason, blah, blah, blah, and I feel like there is no reason that you deserve it, blah blah, but I'm not madly in love with you, and that's what I want to feel, and I don't feel that way (she's still crying, me not listening...) bull****.

Originally posted by nishbuk
"You know I really did fall in love with you, see you later ann",

There was no need to call her on anything ... you should have said "Ok, see ya". That would have left her puzzled and thinking about it ... it would make you look in control and confident. When you said you 'loved her' it kind of made you look weak and down.

Nevertheless, you did a good job of not chasing her and asking "why? why? why?"

Also, remember nothing will last forever.

 

[nishbuk]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
thats the most stupid thing I think ive ever read...

you guys are blind to this stuff.

if a women is in love with you? she wont leave you because she knows she has you...are you kidding me?


do you want to love someone and not know you have them?

come on.


the REASON SOME OF THESE relationships fail is because you 2 didnt connect on enuf levels for real love.


why is that so hard to comprehend.


also be confident

I disagree...Do you know why there are guys that never get dumped? Why there are guys that have girls say "I love you" after the first month? Why some guys can make an LTR last years, and years, and why other guys have "no luck" with LTRs? It's because those guys know how to "connect with a girl on many levels"...And how do they do that? Precisely what the DJ bible says...

 

[frivolousz21]

alright...well isnt that what I just said?

 

[Dark Haired Alpha]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
thats the most stupid thing I think ive ever read...

you guys are blind to this stuff.

if a women is in love with you? she wont leave you because she knows she has you...are you kidding me?


do you want to love someone and not know you have them?

come on.


the REASON SOME OF THESE relationships fail is because you 2 didnt connect on enuf levels for real love.


why is that so hard to comprehend.


also be confident

:nono:

the catch is that we're not talking about a girl that was in love so your post is kind of irrelevant.

 

[frivolousz21]

so then I suppose we have to distinct between someone in love and not in love:

 

[nishbuk]

Maybe. As sweet as she was, she never once said "I love you". And there was never a time where I believed she did love me...I still have a lot of work to do. I never been loved by a woman other than my mom, lol!
Even after a 7 month relationship...

 

[frivolousz21]

then she def wasnt right for you.

when you fall in love it happens fast....the reason the DJ rules tell you not to let it happen fast is to prevent ONE-I-TIS

but once you are confident and you meet a great women for you..you will both fall extremely fast.

all people in love do.


so ur good to go!

 

[nishbuk]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
then she def wasnt right for you.

when you fall in love it happens fast....the reason the DJ rules tell you not to let it happen fast is to prevent ONE-I-TIS

but once you are confident and you meet a great women for you..you will both fall extremely fast.

all people in love do.


so ur good to go!

You may yet be right about that...

 

[Desdinova]

I turned to her, said, "You know I really did fall in love with you, see you later ann", then watched for one second, as she put her hand to her mouth and started bawling her eyes out (even though I don't think that I did love her, I still cared about her...still not sure if I know what that means), and then turned around, walked away and didn't look back.

Handled beautifully. Usually, the guy sees her crying and gives in saying "Oh I didn't mean that, I'm sorry. I'll be your friend." You finalized it by saying Goodbye. Because of the way you handled it, I wouldn't be surprised if she eventually wants you back. Women hate goodbyes because they can't deal with their tidal wave of emotions. They'd prefer to play the "friends" card and slowly let their feelings die down while you spend the next few years single because she doesn't like you dating other women.

Again, good job!

Anyway, I'll give myself one week, then I'm getting off my ass, improving myself further, and again start choosing who I should give the privilege of dating me. Back to Short term...

That's a good plan, and I've used it myself. After my LTR left me, I took a good week to mourn, then convinced myself that it was time to move on. Do yourself a favor, get a new hairstyle, a tattoo, piercing, some new clothes, basically anything that indicates a change. It'll help you feel like you're on a new path and starting fresh. It's a great feeling!