After 2 years, I am single again, yet NOT always happy(!?)

jbbrain

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Board,

Feels great to be back. No one really knows (since I havent posted in ages..I really havent had a need to) but It's been 2 months since I decided to break up with my girlfriend.

Being only 24 and involved for 1/12th of that time was one helluva ride, but its over and it seems I have my ups and downs in my new bachelor status.

When it was all said and done with my girlfriend and I urged her to leave and go to europe for the summer, I really just jumped right back into the dating game. I mean, pretty ****in' literally. the day after she left I just went on a rampage and slept with/dated more chicks in a smaller amt. of time than I previously thoughgt humanely possible.

Guys: The two ensuing weeks were blissful as I had maybe 6 or 7 girls in a dating rotation that seemed inexhaustible.

The one thing that struck me so soon after breaking up with my lady was that these girls really meant nothign to me. I mean, I literally became a sex crazed dog who only cared about scoring left and right. I would sleep with them once and simply keep it at that. My hot pursuit it seemed was not because I genuinely 'cared' for these chicks, but simply really for sexual gratification...not to mention to subconsciously fill a certain void I felt was left with in my life when I finally got the gall to wish my gf 'all the best'. I really felt this was the high life at this point. I was getting laid in abundance and I was loving it.

In retrospect, i dont know if I would have pursued this the same way. Instead of focusing on ME after the breakup, realizing the full potential of a young single male in a pretty giving and rewarding world, I simply fell slave to the puss....

..And now i find myself in a predicament.

In the past month, my dating pool has dwindled to a few hookups/random ONS and it really just seems that subconsciously I'm not so into it anymore. My desire to pick up is at a low point and that has been reinforced by all my prior 'meaningless' connections with chciks I couldnt give a shyt for, not to mention....you guessed it..

thoughts of my Ex GF, the breakup and all sorts of other meaningless shyt associated with her.

Its not a place I rather be and despite my reluctance to return to my previous wildcat days (those 2 weeks after my breakup) I feel like I've been forcing myself to get back into the dating game (perhaps to help 'get over' the ex gf?), yet it seems the 'game' just isnt as fun as it was before. Subsequently, I think this has affected my 'game' (because if youre not having fun, youre not going to do well IMO)and it just seems that each failed date /rejection ive incurred recently is affecting me/self perception way more than it should.... Definitely way more than it ever has in my life and I don't like it. It appears I am forgetting the fundamentals of the game and that it revolves around numbers. I am putting too much pressure on myself to fvck/fool around with 'every' chick perhaps in my feeble attempt to pretend I am having the time of my life being single and bedding tons of chciks (when really i dont know if tahts what i want at this point) and when I fail to reach that goal, when I fail to add that one more notch on the bed post, I feel disappointed.

My mind is telling my two things and it seems I'm caught in between what to do:

Either I just saddle up back in the dating game (and just being realistic in my potential), start getting the ball rolling and try to break free of this strange feeling of emptiness I'm getting now


OR

Just take a break from the dating game and just work on myself..which is probbaly what i should have done straight from the beginnign instead of being a real slut. Only problem is:

I love girls. When I encounter one that really attracts me, I just want to fvck her. "taking a break' from the game in a montreal summer (anyone who knows the city knows what im talking about) seems like a waste of testosterone and a waste of youth.

Anyone have any suggestions?
 

nishbuk

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Yeah I live in that City too. I feel how hard it must be. GL.
 

drixsa

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hey jb,

long time...

What your feeling is pretty normal right now and how you acted after your breakup is pretty normal too.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to bang every attractive girl you see but acting on it to try to fill a botomless hole is stupid and you have come to a conclusion that many never reach.

You are not over your Ex nor should you be.

Take this new found situation in your life and enjoy it. This piece of advice offers no direction but to do as you please. See women, don't see women, whatever.

Maybe you need to take some time and find out about yourself and who you are. Maybe just concentrate on work, hobbies, and/or friends.
 

MidnightResistance

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I'm slightly along the road from where you are now by a couple of months.

Things are starting to slowly pick up and my social circle is gradually expanding after my efforts to simply make friends and not grab women.

I still think about my ex quite a lot more than I want to. But, after a good work out, or a night out with my friends, the world seems a much better place.
You have to self indulge for a while. That's all I know so far...
 

DrMetallica

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It seems like you want to get back with your ex. Do that, or get into a new long term relationship.

Figure out your goals in life, and persue them
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

MidnightResistance

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getting into a relationship with someone else is usually the easiest way to get over an ex...but only if that person is physically more or equally attractive to your ex.

I almost entered a relationship with a really nice chick...but physically she wasn't on par with my ex, so I broke it off. I'm kinda regretting it now though, because she was very easy to get on with.
 

jbbrain

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There are few things in life I feel strongly against:

Getting back together with an EX (especially after the way it ended in my situation) is simply not an OPTION.

I want her back as much as I want a juicy quarter pounder with cheese that I know will give me a heart attack after I eat it..haha

You get the point.

The breakup happened for a reason and I'd really be sacrificing my dignity and compromising my time to get back with her, regardless of how much I miss her.

Point is, I'm pressuring myself trying every way possible to get the 'quick fix' (ie: fvck as many girls as possible) in order to fill this small hole my departed GF has left me. I never thought I'd say this, because I newver thought I was capable of it, but I dare say I've turned slightly desperate in regards to the new women I am trying to date (afterall, trying to get somebody else to fill a certain void you're feeling is a huge and daunting task) and this, as we all know, is the one of the many critical kisses of death in dating.

There it is. 5:25 am and I'm hammered and i think i just figured it out.

Thanks for the comments, new ideas always welcome.
 

rapsta

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If someone has got a good suggestion in this situation, I too would like to know.
Sure the 'quick fix' is nice for the moment. A warm, cosy, wet P*SSY feels damn great in fact.
But it doesn't affect the way I feel in the long run. It doesn't make me feel any better except for the moment.

It's been like this ever since i broke up with my girlfriend in january this year. I'm just trying to go with the flow. Which I know I shouldn't. But what the f*ck should we do?
 

CrotchSniffer

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Originally posted by DrMetallica
It seems like you want to get back with your ex. Do that, or get into a new long term relationship.

Figure out your goals in life, and persue them
Terrible advice!

1. You did the right thing man...you been doubting on this girl since day one.

2. It's time to move on, but dont be so eager to jump into another LTR. Mingle a little baby! See what's really out there and it will give you a clearer idea of what you want.

3. Welcome back, the forum needs a kick in the ass.
 

jbbrain

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Originally posted by CrotchSniffer
Terrible advice!

1. You did the right thing man...you been doubting on this girl since day one.

2. It's time to move on, but dont be so eager to jump into another LTR. Mingle a little baby! See what's really out there and it will give you a clearer idea of what you want.

3. Welcome back, the forum needs a kick in the ass.

1. Thanks dude, and you're right, I have had my many doubts. I won't get into it either (its another story altogether) but facts presented to me after we broke up truly confirm every 'doubt' i had.

Its nice feeling like u werent crazy all along.

2. Mingling is what I'm doing, and i do a shyt load of it. I work as a doorman at the hottest bar/club in Montreal and that's basically what my work life consists of. Being surrounded by hot chcicks night in and night out isn't somethign to be complainign about, and has made my breakup with my ex that much more easy.

3. The forum needs a fvckin entrance exam. 90% of ppl here would fail and only then will there really be a place worthwhile for discussion.


I missed the CS too u dirty piece of shyt!:cool:
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

nishbuk

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heh. It sounds like you have alot going on, and are far more experienced than I could claim to be. And that maybe it's been a while since you've broken out of an LTR. I'm in the same boat. But if there's one thing that I really learned growing up, its that:

"You can't care about someone else until you learn to care about yourself"

"You can't 'complete' yourself, by dating. You have to be complete before you date."

I think that you and I just need to take some time for ourselves, and make our own lives richer. Work at our life goals, become more passionate about our hobbies. Be and Do whatever it is that defines us as single, indpendant people. You can bang as many chicks as you want, but don't do it to fill the void of a breakup. To fill that void, we have to learn to be happy as single guys again.
 
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