Afraid girlfriend will break up with me

[bud_2005]

I told my girlfriend I would never cheat on her and I planned on staying true to that.Well I went to a buddys bachelor party Saturday night. They hired two dancers to come over for a couple hours. I knew of this beforehand and so did my girlfriend and she was ok with it. When the night was winding down one of the strippers was hanging on me and wanted to give me a private dance downstairs and I said no I don't really want to. Well one of my friends from work slipped her a 20 and told her to take me downstairs. I felt like I couldn't turn that down then since he was paying for it so I went with her.

She asked why I was so hesitant and I told her because of my girlfriend. She said we can just talk and I should of agreed but I told her just do what you were going to do since my buddy was fronting $20 for me. She dripped the syrup on my finger and sucked it off. No big deal. Then she dripped it on her thigh and I sucked it off. No big deal really. Then she dripped it on one of her tits and hung it in front of my face. Then I sucked that off too. That was it and then we went back upstairs.

Then I was like HOLY CRAP I think I just cheated on my girlfriend. I'm SUPER HONEST with my girlfriend and I called her immediately after that. I told her about it all. Now she is thinking of breaking up with me because in her eyes I cheated on her. She is going to be at the lake this whole week with her family and during that time she is going to ponder if she wants to be with me anymore. She wants to cut off contact until Friday so that means I have to go through a whole work week worrying til no end if she breaks up with me. Do you think this is a reason to end a 2 year relationship? People have been telling me that wasn't good but its not that big of deal. Opinions?

 

[Scars]

Atleast you were honest with her, if she doesn't recognize that.. then I don't know what to say. Honestly, stop stressing over it. She's going to make a decision whether you like it or not. Try to act unphased by it. I'm sure by now you told her and let her know you were sincerely sorry about the situation. So I'm sure that means something to her.

Give it some time, talk about it after she comes back from the lake. I'm sure it will blow over. After being with each other for 2 YEARS I doubt she would throw it away over some HIRED stripper.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I wouldn't necessarily consider what you did to be cheating, though I suppose it IS a fine line to be drawn when it comes to strip clubs. I think the reason your girlfriend flipped out was because you obviously felt really guilty about it when you told her. I'm all for honesty, but something like this should be kept to yourself.

She knew it was a bachelor's party, she knew strippers were coming, and she approved. That's enough. She doesn't need or want to hear about some stripper licking syrup off of you, which really isn't that big of a deal. However, since you clearly weren't comfortable and felt guilty, you should've ignored the peer pressure and turned the girl down. The excuse that your friend paid for it is LAME.

But as for dealing with the fallout--you can do one of two things: You can cut contact with her while she's away, as she says she wants you to do. Odds are, if she doesn't hear from you (she expects to), she'll call YOU sooner than a week.

The other thing you can do is REFUSE to play the game she's suggesting--a game that admittedly gives HER all the power. She doesn't need a week by herself to deliberate whether or not she wants to stay with you; this isn't a reality tv show. You could tell her that you're truly sorry for what happened, and want to stay with her, but can't be with her if she thinks that this is possibly worth ending a relationship over. Tell her she can call you if she changes her mind and you'll discuss things then.

Now, to be honest...I would probably play it safe and pick the first way when it was all said and done, just because I knew that I was the one that messed up and the second way is a bit arrogant. If you KNOW she has a high IL and is just really hurt, then I would say this is one of those times that you need to play into her frame as an act of apology. However, if she's been hot/cold for awhile and seems to just be playing games with you, the second way is the way to go.

But don't just listen to me. I'd like to hear others' opinions on this.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You shouldn't of said anything.

 

[nubian-knight]

You shouldn't of said anything.

...

 

[Kev07]

it's NOT a big deal, but it's not surprising how your girlfriend reacted

now shes throwing it in your face by dangling you on a string for a week, chances are shes not going to break up with you, but by the time your week is done shes going to have a new power over you.

Dont let that happen, go talk to her about it and reassure her that you love her or whatever

 

[jafyk]

Maybe she won't throw it away over a hired stripper but I'm sure she will continue to hang it over your head whenever you have a disagreement. If you're afraid she will break up with you maybe you should go ahead and beat her to it and learn from your mistake next time. You can just wait for the jury to reach a verdict in which case you have to be ready to accept whatever outcome you get.

 

[KontrollerX]

Should of kept your fvckin mouth shut.

This is what being a morality DJ gets you.

 

[DJDamage]

Should of kept your fvckin mouth shut.

This is what being a morality DJ gets you.

I disagree.

By being honest not only was he honest with his girlfriend but now he can be honest with himself. This will open the doors for his girlfriend to dump his ass and now he can finally be free and fvck other women.

Don't lie bud_2005, Nobody has placed a gun to your head to suck her hanging delicious t1t but you did it because you DESIRED TOO. You are probably too young to be in an LTR with a woman anyway and you always wanted to fvck other women but you were AFRAID to go for it. Now is your chance, maybe its time to get out of the comfort of the LTR and really go out there and date multiple women.

This happened for a reason and not some random thing that you need to regret.

 

[Warrior74]

Depeche Mode could have sorted you out.

Policy of Truth

You had something to hide
Should have hidden it, shouldnt you
Now youre not satisfied
With what youre being put through

Its just time to pay the price
For not listening to advice
And deciding in your youth
On the policy of truth

Things could be so different now
It used to be so civilised
You will always wonder how
It could have been if youd only lied

Its too late to change events
Its time to face the consequence
For delivering the proof
In the policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before
Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

Now youre standing there tongue tied
Youd better learn your lesson well
Hide what you have to hide
And tell what you have to tell

Youll see your problems multiplied
If you continually decide
To faithfully pursue
The policy of truth

Never again
Is what you swore
The time before
Never again
Is what you swore
The time before

 

[jafyk]

Warrior74 is this a good lullaby to sing to my son while tucking him in? lol

 

[dalton]

if you dont KNOW the the pitch...then shut the fvck up..

Your supper honest( quote) thats pathetic. If i were you and im sure the men above would agree.

I would call her and break up with her first( say that you cant be with some who limits your expression and is controlling) or whatever other gay doc phil **** comes into your mouth. At leat then you keep the ball in your court. she will start to chase you.

peace dalton.

oh and when you fix this grow some balls. youve heard the line, ( IT WASNT ME)

 

[AFC Championship]

Unless you were very drunk or not all there or someone put a gun to your head, I don't understand why you went ahead with it still if you knew yourself initially it was not on since you wanted to respect your girlfriend. Your mate handing over $20 to the stripper was enough to encourage your peer pressure you into going ahead with it? Not trying to attack you or anything, but you have to be true to your word and beliefs. You said NO and you should have stuck with it.

Hope it works out.

 

[L B]

There are things in life you don't tell your friends. There are things in life you don't tell your family. And there are things in life you don't tell your girl. And...this is one of them.

 

[nubian-knight]

im all agaisnt cheating on your gf but thats not cheating. it was spur of the moment, a paid stripper, your friends bachelor party, and you didn't even get your d!ck wet. what did you hope to acheive by telling your gf this other then upset her


and dont think women are that sensetive cause i guarntee shed lick whip cream of some male strippers nuts at one of her friends bachlorette party and NOT TELL YOU

 

[Big Eee Zee]

you are a tool.

you will lose her because I can tell you are a woman around her (*said in a girly voice* I'm super honest with her!) You have some growing up to do. Life is gonna suck for you until you man up, unless you never do in which case you'll be depressed forever.

just try not to off yourself before you figure out what you need to know. and get off the computer and into the real world.

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

I'm not going to bash you like others have, but whether you do or do not tell your gf is your choice. Obviously not saying anything would have saved a lot of trouble, but it seems like you told her because you wanted to do what you felt was right. It's a shame that your morals didn't stop you from doing it in the first place. How aggressive was the stripper?

In the end it's up to your gf. Just take a hard stance on it. You already apologized, so don't apologize again. If she wants to throw away all that you guys have over this little slip-up, then that's her problem.

 

[kingwilliam]

You should not have said anything. Its not like you stuck your d1ck in the stripper....

tsk

 

[Bible_Belt]

Then I was like HOLY CRAP I think I just cheated on my girlfriend. I'm SUPER HONEST with my girlfriend and I called her immediately after that. I told her about it all. Now she is thinking of breaking up with me because in her eyes I cheated on her. She is going to be at the lake this whole week with her family and during that time she is going to ponder if she wants to be with me anymore. She wants to cut off contact until Friday so that means I have to go through a whole work week worrying til no end if she breaks up with me. Do you think this is a reason to end a 2 year relationship? People have been telling me that wasn't good but its not that big of deal. Opinions?

You have been on this site for how many years? If you were a new user, I would think this was a troll post, because it is so ridiculous.

If you are for real about all of this, then you are doomed to a life of AFC misery with women. You have no clue. You have been here for years and learned nothing. Your post is such a disgrace to this site that I feel like we should all immediately commit harakiri to save what little dignity any of us have left.

Your boss firing you...I mean gf dumping you...would be the best thing that could happen to you. There's no point in even attempting to repair the damage you've done to this relationship...and I'm not talking about the stripper. You have obviously become a castrated wimp for the sake of this relationship that you foolishly value so much. That's where you lost your relationship - and that's if you're lucky. Just as often, the women will see her chance to whip you around for life. She'll grow a sack herself, and enjoy a lifetime of testing your boundaries at tolerating disrespect. I hope for your sake that she dumps you; she'll never respect you, anyway. I know I don't.

But that's all because of the poor choices you have made, and you have the chance to change, and start over the right way in a new relationship. As the man, you are supposed to be the one doing the choosing and the dumping. The moment a girl even insinuates that she has to think about if she wants to be with you, simply tell her to take her time and that you will be with another girl while she thinks it over. That is the only way - if you won't replace her, then she takes the power and you become a wuss, just another average frustrated chump.

The last time this happened to me, I didn't just lick some stripper's tit, I fvcked the hell out of an ex-gf, and then the b!tch sent out a myspace bulletin all about it when she got mad about me not wanting to spend the next night with her. That bulletin got forwarded to my current gf. She confronted me, and I didn't even deny it. I barely apologized, and calmly told her she could break up with me if she wanted, I'd just go back to the ex. I was calm, cool, collected, and pretty brutal about it. Then she cried a little, apologized to me for me wanting someone else, and begged me not to dump her. I swear I am not making this up. We are still together, and I doubt she would care if I licked stripper tits on a regular basis.

 

[Telos]

Haha. Hahahaha. Ha hooo hee haaaa haaaaaa.