Affirmations: do they really work?

[tryst type]

I've tried using affirmations before but reality usually takes over and I lose motivation to keep up with them. Do they really work? Is there a secret to get them working constantly?

 

[betheman]

I've tried using affirmations before but reality usually takes over and I lose motivation to keep up with them. Do they really work? Is there a secret to get them working constantly?

if they are based in reality then yes, i.e, its of no use at all telling myself I am the fastest sprinter over 100m In the whole world...Im only 3rd
look at your values, your talents, build on them, same with your goals and aspirations. I saw an interesting tv prog some years ago where some struggling learner golfer was having trouble with his driving from the tee. they got him to imagoine he wa snick faldo or something, by taking on his persona and confidence....his driving improved noticably, he wasnt ready for the open but he was hitting the fairway far more regularly when he went through this mindset.
be good to yourself, as a species we are far more prone to beating oursleves up than looking at the good in oursleves and rewarding the good within us.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I've tried using affirmations before but reality usually takes over and I lose motivation to keep up with them. Do they really work? Is there a secret to get them working constantly?

yes, they absolutely work, but only if you choose them very carefully, and only if you do them correctly, and consistently. just repeating words won't do squat. You've to to engage your imaginations, and your emotions.

Read Psycho Cybernetics for info on this.

Bottom line: Most world class athletes got to where they are in no small part through the use of mental "practice."

It's very powerful, but most people give up after a week because they try half heartedly and don't see instantaneous and miraculous results.

 

[Jitterbug]

First you start using actual successes you have achieved as affirmations. Then slowly you push that boundary a little bit ahead with your imaginations and visualisation in your head, while keeping a good control over emotions (let them be what they need to be, but channel them, don't let them take over you).

E.g I do this all the time as a powerlifter trying to hit a certain competition lift PB, say in the squat. I first start with an actual comp squat I've done that was very good and visualise myself doing it over and over again, each time I make the form in my head a little closer to perfection than it really was. Then I start adding weights to the bar to make it closer to the weight I will be attempting in a near future comp. This can be a slow process when it gets to the number I really want. Initially, I'd fail the lift outright in my head a few times. Then slowly I'd get it, but it'd look really hard. Eventually it'd look easier and easier. When I finally get to do it at a real comp, it'd look almost exactly like how it's been played out in my imaginations.

I've coached that to my lifters with good success.

I've also been mentoring a young bloke on this. Last session, I simply taught him how to walk. First I told him to walk like he just won a small bet of a few hundred dollars (actually happened to him, as he told me in the past). Then walk like he just arrived at his favourite holiday destination; like he just got a job; just got laid etc. His body language by the end was night and day different to when he started the session (he alternated between an I just stole something guilty look and a stick up his arse look), and that was just within about 20 minutes.

TLDR: start small and build it up patiently.

 

[plate's_empty]

I've also been mentoring a young bloke on this. Last session, I simply taught him how to walk. First I told him to walk like he just won a small bet of a few hundred dollars (actually happened to him, as he told me in the past). Then walk like he just arrived at his favourite holiday destination; like he just got a job; just got laid etc. His body language by the end was night and day different to when he started the session (he alternated between an I just stole something guilty look and a stick up his arse look), and that was just within about 20 minutes.

Good stuff, I'm going to try that one.

Agreed with everyone above. It's like self therapy. It's re-framing, unlearning what you have learned. And re-learning the truth, and the truth is your reality.

 

[tryst type]

Nice examples. So in terms of women, say I'd like it to be part of my normal life that I'm constantly being pursued and hooking up comes easy.

Do I imagine times that's happened and just keep it in my mind all day an slowly grow on it? Like, "I'm constantly pursued and my phone won't stop going off with a new girl a day asking to get together"

Or are we talking about affirmations like saying things like "I'm sexy, I'm pursued by the hottest women, I'm always seduced" etc

 

[zekko]

Nice examples. So in terms of women, say I'd like it to be part of my normal life that I'm constantly being pursued and hooking up comes easy.

Do I imagine times that's happened and just keep it in my mind all day an slowly grow on it? Like, "I'm constantly pursued and my phone won't stop going off with a new girl a day asking to get together"

Or are we talking about affirmations like saying things like "I'm sexy, I'm pursued by the hottest women, I'm always seduced" etc

I'm no expert on this, but it seems to me like thinking you are being pursued when you aren't might be taking it a step too far. I mean, I could say that "Bill Cosby is going to come knock on my door" for weeks and months but it isn't going to make it happen.

I think something more along the lines of "I'm handsome and sexy, women are attracted to me, they enjoy my interactions and advances with them" would be more realistic. That should allow you to take action with a more positive attitude, instead of expecting girls to chase you when they may not be. In nature, the male is generally the pursuer.

 

[Lexington]

I think that affirmations should be about things that you have actual control over. You can't directly control whether women are constantly calling you etc. you can however change your attitude about yourself which will lead to success.

For example, Alex from RSD uses "there is no reason I am not good enough." This addresses a major Inner Game issue for a lot of people; a lot of people have a deeply ingrained belief that they're not good enough. They also tend to evaluate their self worth by their pickup success. This leads to them avoiding approaches or ejecting too early. Getting over this one mental hangup solves a lot of problems.

 

[Nutz]

Affirmations do not work, and here's why:

Telling yourself over and over how things should be, or that you're awesome or whatever is well and good, right up until you hit reality and something disproves the affirmation. What usually results from this challenge to one's affirmation is a bunch of uncertainty and doubt, thereby wasting whatever time you spent doing the affirmations in the first place. This is because affirmations are not flexible and adaptable.

Instead of wasting time with affirmations you should be doing visualizations instead. With visualizations you can plan things out in your mind and mentally rehearse whatever it is you're visualizing. Just be careful not to go over bad experiences and keep replaying them in your head, or you'll be rehearsing failure over and over. Instead, imagine what you did, and instead of what went wrong imagine what you'll do differently next time and visualize that instead.

 

[Jitterbug]

What I do is more visualisation as Nutz described, but I find it a form of affirmation nevertheless.

You need to be more specific, not so vague "I'm the best and greatest" BS.

Visualise a more successful version of yourself - what you wear, how you walk, how you talk, etc. and tell yourself that yes you can become that. i.e you're doing a rehearsal of Successful You (in your head or actual practice).

 

[LiveFreeX]

the secret!

 

[vatoloco]

Affirmations: do they really work?

They do!



Seriously now, you can affirm "till the cows come home" but, if you never DO, it's all moot.

 

[tryst type]

Interesting enough since I started this thread I've been saying positive statements to myself like "I'm sexy, people like talking to me, beautiful girls notice me" etc and its actually boosted my moral.

I find myself caring less if I hear back from a girl or if an interaction doesn't go as planned. In a sense I'm affirming the qualities I used to want others to give.

Weird I know and it's not a I'm becoming arrogant type of thing, it's more like I give myself value/approval so I'm not subconsciously trying to get it from others.

 

[BeDJ]

it's more like I give myself value/approval so I'm not subconsciously trying to get it from others.

Hmmm, I can see that working.