AFC's and Meal Hoes....your opinions

[##17]

Hi everyone,

I recently discovered this site. I was an AFC until about 2 years ago but then I saw the light. Anyway, I would appreciate your opinions on this.

A month ago, a friend of mine (great guy, but still something of an AFC) met a very attractive woman (the athletic girl-next-door type) in the gym. For the first date, despite my (unsolicited) advice, he took her to dinner at a nice restaurant(the entrees are at $18 and up), and then they went and got coffee. The conversation seemed to flow well (according to my friend) that date (although I don't think anything physical happened). He paid for everything, she didn't even offer. But when he called her for a next date, she thanked him and said that it was "really really nice" meeting him, she had just become exclusive with someone from back home (AFTER their date, BTW).

Now my friend was a gentleman about it, but he is pissed. He feels that he was suckered into buying dinner for someone else's girlfriend. If she really weren't available, he reasons, she should have said something about that or at least make some offer to help pay for the date. (She didn't even OFFER to pay for ANYTHING, although my friend does admit that HE was the one who picked the place and that she ordered only a pasta dish--the cheapest on the menu--and water to drink.)

I told him that she was a Meal Hoe, but then again, maybe that's me. I'd be interested in your opinions.

So was she in the wrong? (yes/no) User behavior on her part or was she entitled to act as she did?


One positive thing about this is that my friend now sees the light about the first date being INexpensive!

 

[##17]

Anyone?

 

[Derek Flint]

Another reason why not to take girls out for dinner on a first date.

Coffee, or maybe a few happy hour ****tails.

At worst, you get dinged for a few bucks.

At best, she pays and you get laid.

There's lots of Dinner Hoe's out there, and plenty of AFC's who will take them out to a nice, expensive dinner.

If they're stupid enough to try to buy attraction, then they deserve to get taken advantage of.

 

[JPFromTally]

I have personally heard many women on many occasions say things like "Oh well... At least I got a free meal out of it" when referring to going on a date with a guy they didn't like.

It's ridiculous but I have come to realize that this is more the guy's fault than the girl's. I get play frequently and never spend any money before getting into a girl's pants.

Don't get me wrong. I will go to a nice restaurant with my girlfriend who has earned her keep but never for someone who hasn't proven themselves.

 

[##17]

Originally posted by JPFromTally
I have personally heard many women on many occasions say things like "Oh well... At least I got a free meal out of it" when referring to going on a date with a guy they didn't like.

It's ridiculous but I have come to realize that this is more the guy's fault than the girl's. I get play frequently and never spend any money before getting into a girl's pants.

Don't get me wrong. I will go to a nice restaurant with my girlfriend who has earned her keep but never for someone who hasn't proven themselves.

I agree with you and Derek. My girlfriend and I slept together before we went out on a real `date'. I used to wonder how that could be, because it goes against what my parents taught me about how to treat a woman. But now I see that it is entirely natural.

I still feel bad for my friend, because it sounds that he really liked her. I think that she should have had enough class to not accept the free meal if she had known that she really wasn't available.

 

[reyalp]

Working off of someone else's advice, I eat a big meal before I go out to dinner with a girl. That way, I just order something like a salad, it saves me money on MY meal, and then she won't order anything bigger than mine, so she orders something like that too. What girl wants to eat more than her date?

Then, assuming she didn't eat anything before she came to the date, she'll be a cheaper drunk too.

Win/win, man.

Dunno, I think I snagged that from the Tom Leykis once upon a time.

 

[apluspimp]

their called dinner wh0ress, they had an artcle in some magazine or paper, i heard about it on the radio in new york, google it

 

[backbreaker]

I don't have that problem becuase I don't like to go out to eat.. I perfer to cook myself, and I've gotten pretty good. It's more impressive, plus you are 10 steps away from the bed if anything goes down.

Well, he can't be mad.. he did pay, and he agreed to it. If he had a problem with it, he should have said something. That's not "being a gentleman", that's being a "Gentle-man" IF you see the difference.

Just because you refuse to pay a girls way on the first date, simply because you don't now what you are oging ot get out of it, doesn't mean you are a jerk, she just has to prove her worth to you.

 

[##17]

Originally posted by backbreaker
I don't have that problem becuase I don't like to go out to eat.. I perfer to cook myself, and I've gotten pretty good. It's more impressive, plus you are 10 steps away from the bed if anything goes down.

Well, he can't be mad.. he did pay, and he agreed to it. If he had a problem with it, he should have said something. That's not "being a gentleman", that's being a "Gentle-man" IF you see the difference.

Just because you refuse to pay a girls way on the first date, simply because you don't now what you are oging ot get out of it, doesn't mean you are a jerk, she just has to prove her worth to you.

You don't feel that a woman has some responsibility not to accept a date/dinner if she knows that she really isn't available?

 

[B-Real]

I agree with what you guys are talking about. I've been guilty of doing the same thing. I talk to the girl for a few days and then make dinner arrangements, spend 20 something bucks and get just a kiss out of it.

It seems like I would have more since then to let myself do something like that with a girl I hardly know. Reason being I have a lot more things I could spend my money on other than a pretty girl.

But.. Where I live there is hardly nothing else to do other than go eat or maybe drive around and look at...whatever their is to look at, which means you spend money on gas (especially nowadays) and I could also think of other places I would NEED to spend that money on gas for.

So with all that said, is their any suggestions on maybe what we could do to have a good time without looking like a cheap bastard?

However to answer your question I think it is more less the guys fault that he let himself do that. I mean honestly, you can't blame the girl for getting a free meal and something she can go gossip to her friends about. Because we all know, thats what they do....

 

[triumvirate]

I think your friend's problem was the choice of date. Everyone does dinner dates; it very cliche' I'm afraid. What people need to remember is action dates. Makes it alot more memorable for her(Something to do with endorphines) and alot more fun for you. Also usually cheaper. The great thing about action dates is that it gives you a much greater chance at a second date and it gives you a chance to use DJ skills. If you do the dinner date, its only good if you are especially funny/witty or just a good talker. If you do the action date, you have to talk less, and when do talk, you can talk about a wider range of topics, gives you a greater chance to use C&F, etc.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by ##17
I can't disagree with anything you wrote. Let me ask you though: Don't you feel that a woman has some responsibility not to accept a date/dinner if she knows that she really isn't available?

No.

**** responable.. this isn't about morality.

Let's say I ask my mom out to eat.. just a regular day together, going to get something to eat.

If she offers to pay the bill, you think I'm going to stop her? Even though I invited her?

you gotta be kididng me.

I know plenty of girls that arne't hoes, but guys try to buy their attention, and when the get board, they take them up on their offers.

let a girl, even an average girl straight out invite me to a nice resturant.. even if I don't like her, I will probably go if i have time, because she is going to pay, regardless if I find her attractive or not.

 

[PRMoon]

This is why my friends player uncle told us never to take a girl out to dinner until you've had sex with them. Though his point is a little extreme the essance of what he was saying rings true. Like Derek said, meet them for coffee or drinks first. It's not going to be expencive and you'll get a good feel where you are with the girl. If you don't hit it off (or she all of a sudden tells you she's in a serious relationship) the you haven't lost too much other then one more evening.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by ##17

So was she in the wrong? (yes/no)

Absolutely not, she did it because SHE CAN, and as long as there are are still chumps like your friend allowing themselves to be some b!tches meal ticket I say more power to her. In her position I would do exactly the same thing, interested or not.

 

[reyalp]

I listened to the last 101, and it was Leykis who I pulled the "eat a big meal before your dinner date" thing from


Also, he said to call her up and be like "Hey, what time are you having dinner?"

and then when she answers just say
"Ok, you're having dinner at 7. Hour to eat, half hour to drive, ok. Let's meet up for drinks at Tapwerks at 8:30, see you there!"

You've just weaseled your way out of buying her dinner.

The funniest response to this that I've had is "Ok, what, wait a minute, aren't you supposed....gah"

I cut that one short with "i've got another call coming in i gotta go, see you there babe"

She showed up and the first words out of her mouth were "Ok, so I'm really confused," and I told her it's just because she's blonde.