AFC turning point/Your first step(s) to DJism?

[VdoubleR]

My AFC turning point was when a girl I was really interested in lost all interest in me for acting like a straight-A, honor roll student of the AFC Institute.

Yes, I totally did the whole teddy bear gift thing. Roses? you bet. Nice guy letter? Two actually. Oh boy. :yes:

I'll go ahead and share my first steps towards DJism:

1) Realized I was an AFC.
2) Got new clothes.
3) Got a new hair style.
4) Hanged out with people that were doing better than me.

That, little by little, pumped up my confidence to do my...

First Approach​

This was at my school's cafeteria, in line for lunch.

RAFC: I really don't know what to get today.
HB7: Well, I'm eating pasta today.
RAFC: Is it good?
HB7: It was good last time, you should try it.
RAFC: Ok. I'll try it. Thank you.
HB7: No problem. So, what's your name?
RAFC: Oh, I'm VdoubleR. You?
HB7: My name's HB7.
RAFC: Nice to meet you, I'll see you around.

Oh man, I felt like such a champion that day even though she wasn't really attractive.

Anyway, why don't you guys share your AFC turning points, first steps towards DJism or your first approaches. I'm sure everyone has a good story about their first approach and how you felt afterward.

-VdoubleR

 

[magickarl]

You know, I don't remember the exact day or event. What I do remember is that sometime during my sophomore year of highschool, I just looked in the mirror and said "**** it."

I set goals for myself, and did them:

- GOAL: Dress impeccably at all times
- Speak louder, and more clearly, annunciating each word
- Put on some muscle

From then until the end of highschool, I started dressing like I had pictures every day. I went from one of the most soft-spoken kids in school to one of the smoothest talkers in the class. And I went from 5"7 140 pounds to 5"9 and over 200 pounds.

From then on, I made my life all about me. I started doing things that make ME happy, and talking to the people that I wanted to talk to when I wanted to talk to them. If I didn't like a person, then I would denounce their existence in my universe. Meaning, I would not talk to that person, I would not talk about that person, and if I was in the same place as that person I would just pretend that person wasn't there.

I started carrying myself like I was a big deal. And I believe the most important thing that started happening was that I began to talk to people like I was more important than them. I don't mean that in a condescending way, like I'm giving those people less value. I mean that instead of kissing up to people, I talked to them as if their feelings were subordinate to my own.

Guess what happened:

- Girls started talking to me.
- Other people started following my examples rather than the other way around.
- I felt better about myself.
- People began to compete for my attention.

I don't pretend that I still don't have some AFC tendencies now and then. We all have room to improve on our game, otherwise we wouldn't be on this site. However, I will say that 4 years later, I am a completely different man. People I went to highschool with see me now only two years after graduation and can not believe they are talking to the same person.

 

[MisterMcGee]

I found a girl worth not ****ing up over. ha

 

[Bluesteak]

Oneitis ljbf me and hooked up with one of my friends in front of me, needless to say she is gone from my life now, and it feels great!

 

[Forty0ztoFreedom]

I wish I had just one case but its been years of making the wrong moves and being in denial . .

Recently there was a oneitus that eventually turned cold (other guy came around . . easy to figure out) . . This was different because this girl was alarmingly into me. Calling all the fvcking time, texting, Myspace, etc. to the point where I'm like "Are you kidding me?" I start reciprocating/escalating (admittedly in a horribly AFC way) and then NOTHING. That sickening coldness you get when a girl loses interest.

Fortunately, I knew to just walk away this time and it will probably all turn out for the best.

What if things did work out? I'd be a needy AFC in a relationship with a seemingly depressed girl and I've heard enough horror stories to know that it would have ended WORSE.

 

[VdoubleR]

I wish I had just one case but its been years of making the wrong moves and being in denial . .

I know what you mean, bro. I've also made many wrong moves but at first I didn't even know I was making the wrong moves - I thought I was doing fine!

Once I accepted that I was a complete AFC and stepped away from denial, everything started getting better.

One line that impacted me was "Aww, you're such a sweet guy, VdoubleR". (I thought it was the best line I could get from a woman ) Needless to say, I never went out with a girl that told me that, so I realized that it was anything but good.

Oh, and the girls I wasn't attracted to, those I didn't even pay attention to...guess what? They wouldn't go away.

- Girls started talking to me.
- Other people started following my examples rather than the other way around.
- I felt better about myself.
- People began to compete for my attention.

As soon as I started reversing the situation and improving the things I mentioned on my first post, just what Magickarl said started happening.
Granted, I still have my AFC moments sometimes, that's why I'm here. But, AFC moments have decreased and my confidence level/self-esteem and overall game is increasing.

-VdoubleR

 

[brian123]

I BU with my fiancee 3 months before the wedding, I was getting shot down by different girls. I just said enough is enough and started improving myself.

 

[DonJuan11]

First Approach​

This was at my school's cafeteria, in line for lunch.

RAFC: I really don't know what to get today.
HB7: Well, I'm eating pasta today.
RAFC: Is it good?
HB7: It was good last time, you should try it.
RAFC: Ok. I'll try it. Thank you.
HB7: No problem. So, what's your name?
RAFC: Oh, I'm VdoubleR. You?
HB7: My name's HB7.
RAFC: Nice to meet you, I'll see you around.

Dude, you had the fish nibbling on the bait and you let it go. She appeared interested, asked your name, gave hers, and then you leave? You should have followed up: "So, what classes are you taking? What do you like to do? What do you do for fun? Are you up for some fries after school?

Props on talking to her though.

 

[VdoubleR]

That was back in High School (Sophomore Year) and yes, I regret not building rapport and going for the #close but, in all honesty, I didn't know how to go from there (Why lie? I had no game and I'm not ashamed to say it now because of all the improvements I've made).

Dude, you had the fish nibbling on the bait and you let it go. She appeared interested, asked your name, gave hers, and then you leave? You should have followed up: "So, what classes are you taking? What do you like to do? What do you do for fun? Are you up for some fries after school?

Now I know what I should have said and how to successfully follow the conversation but, back then an approach was a really difficult thing for me.

I remember forcing myself to introduce myself to 5 strangers every week to increase my network, confidence and communication skills. Now I approach women everyday just because they're there and I feel like saying "hi". It's like the gym, I work out and I get a bit of an energy boost and those days I don't work out I feel a little lazy.

-VdoubleR

 

[tincanman99]

I have been total AFC my whole life. Ironically in my professional life I am totally fearless and heartless as I negotiate technology contracts for a living . It dawned on me after my last girlfriend that if I keep getting the same results with different women than what am I doing wrong. That situation was ugly because she was in my social circle of friends. Caused total and ultimate disruption of my social network and eventually most of my friends chose her.

Than I went into hibernation for years. I wanted no relationship with anyone. Did not date - I cut off any and all females that had interest. I just retreated into myself. A a pretty lonely existance I might add.

Back in the summer I had a woman here that was interested but I was unsure so by default I was being a challenge and a DJ. Didnt even realize I was doing it, I was just not sure I wanted to be involved with her. She pursued me and I finally asked her out and we went out a bunch of times. I kept my cool till we had a marathon make out session for 6 hours. Which broke down my resistance.

After that it went to total crap. I became AFC again. I was too nice, told her I liked her, blah, blah. Took her out on $400 night between dinner and the concert. I will give you all 3 guesses what she did?

Want to know? She totally and completely flaked out on me. As I was not a challenge anymore she wouldnt return my calls (I only did 2) and my text messages. Eventually I ended up telling her look - you dont return my calls or text messages, if you dont want to see me, just tell me. Of course she wouldnt.

Than I completely and totally cut her off. Absolutely no contact of any kind, been about a month now except for the one time I saw her in the company cafe. She messed with me by dawdling and I totally ignored her. Not sure if that was the right technique or not.

Bottom line is I have realized ALL and I mean ALL my assumptions about male/female relationships is WRONG. Totally and absolutely WRONG. All that crap they tell you about being nice, considerate and caring is one big freaking lie. I am not sure they want guys to be celibate or what. But it just does not work at all. A lot of the things I have learned over the years from getting burned is 100% true. Women do not appreciate nice guys.

So now I have been reading notstop and realized everything I know is wrong. Now I am working on it. There will never ever be another situation like the one that just happened to me. EVER.

 

[VdoubleR]

So now I have been reading notstop and realized everything I know is wrong. Now I am working on it. There will never ever be another situation like the one that just happened to me. EVER.

I also thought the nice guy attitude was a good thing, it truly isn't. Only girls that would go for that kind of stuff are really desperate and will take the first guy they see, really unattractive, have little to no self-esteem or a combination of all.

I'm glad you've made a decision to better your game and be more successful with women. We're all here to learn and help each other.

-VdoubleR