AFC Suicide

[Rollo Tomassi]

I don't really know where else to post this. Most of my threads are long winded diatribes about how and why men need to man up and kill the AFC inside, not just to improve their sex lives, but to improve their lives as a whole, by deprograming themselves of just this ONEitis crap.

This is the obituary of a guy I knew quite well in Reno before I moved to Orlando this summer. He was a DJ (as in disc jockey) for a local hard rock radio station there. I found out he'd killed himself over the weekend because the girlfriend he'd had a very tuurbulent relationship with finally left him.

Nick Danger's Obituary

I knew what his situation was, but I wasn't prepared for him to go to this end. This is actually the second guy I've known to kill himself for the same reason. He was a raging A-Hole on-air and did his best to offend just about anyone who listened to his show or called in, but in real life he was one of the biggest AFCs I've encountered.

I don't know what else to write other than sh!t like this is exactly why I post to forums like this one.

 

[WestCoaster]

Sad, but thanks for the info

I told some friends once that "oneitis" and "AFCness" (I explained the terms) are the cause of many deaths, injuries, and fights.

Guys commit suicide all the time over women; guys get in bar fights over trampy women who will be 500 pounds and b-tchy in the near future.

It's amazing the damage American society and hollywood has done to the American man. It's really, really sick and sad. There's not a woman on the planet worth your health or your life.

I've had friends on the brink of suicide and in the midst of severe depression over women who weren't worth the time of day ... it's amazing.

I really feel that American (and other men) need websites like these to educate them further. Despite all the wonderful articles and DJ Bible here, the main theme of the message boards is, "What do I do, some gal dissed/dumped/wouldn't talk to me/went out with someone else/ was mean, etc. ... please HELP!"

I'm just stunned. Here's your answer to all of those questions: WALK AWAY. She's not worth it and never was.

 

[Doc73]

[/quote]It's amazing the damage American society and hollywood has done to the American man. It's really, really sick and sad. There's not a woman on the planet worth your health or your life.[/quote]

I couldnt agree more. The more I come to this site the more I realize how much modern society discourages men from being men. There are a lot of places on the net for men to deal with various issues but this is the only site that actually teaches you how to be a real man. The information here should be required reading for almost every male on the planet.

That being said, that mustve totally sucked to hear that a guy you knew pretty well killed himself just because of a woman. Bottom line, no woman is worth killing yourself or even causing yourself harm over.

 

[joekerr31]

a lot of women are so wrapped up in their own low self esteem and desire to be "wanted" that they will destroy a weak man. They will use all his insecurities against, break down his strengths so that he no longer has confidence in himself, and basically do her very best to get him into a state of servitude.

once she has accomplished this, she will toss him by the way side.

SOME women are like this.

Killing yourself over some piece of crap of a human being like this is utterly insane.

One of the best lessons you can learn in life is NOT to let parasitic, selfish, toxic people into your life.

J

 

[flexion_]

Listen... the relationship problems didn't cause this person to commit suicide. Suicide is not a thing people do about relationship without a mental disorder.

The pathologic problem associated with the fear of being alone did it because of their screwed up childhood and perception of love - mental disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder and others are the cause.

 

[Ricky]

This makes me really sad as well. I have had a rough time with my breakup but I'd never kill myself over a girl.

Did I at least ponder it? Sure, but no way I'd ever do it. I have too much going for me.

Which is exactly why I shouldn't let a damn women hurt me, but it is so tough when one minute a girl is telling you how much she loves you and then in a short while she ends it.

I do know one thing, she will never have a guy of my caliber again. I laugh at my exes. They realize they ****ed up their chance to be with a great guy.

 

[WestCoaster]

Flexion is only partially right

While yes, many suicides are caused by mental disorders and borderline personality disorder, and also clinical depression, many, many, many more are caused by immediate sadness, loss, inability to cope and so forth. Many of these people are NOT psychotic, do NOT have borderline personality disorder, and are NOT clinically depressed. Trust me, I've read a ton on suicide and one of my good friends is a Ph.d. with an expertise in this area.

To put the mental health disorder blanket over it is not completely correct.

 

[SAYNO]

Re: Flexion is only partially right

Originally posted by WestCoaster
While yes, many suicides are caused by mental disorders and borderline personality disorder, and also clinical depression, many, many, many more are caused by immediate sadness, loss, inability to cope and so forth. Many of these people are NOT psychotic, do NOT have borderline personality disorder, and are NOT clinically depressed. Trust me, I've read a ton on suicide and one of my good friends is a Ph.d. with an expertise in this area.

To put the mental health disorder blanket over it is not completely correct.

Good point!

 

[Desdinova]

Bump

Just got word of a situation about a married couple that I know. The wife decided to leave him, and he has attempted suicide a day or two ago. He's currently in the hospital.

My analysis of relationships seems to be holding up quite well.

AFCs will build their life up on the foundation of a woman. The woman ends up becoming their sole reason for existing. If the woman (the foundation) removes herself from the AFC, his whole life comes crashing down and he has no clue how to deal with it.

It is much better to build your life upon yourself as a foundation. The woman becomes a brick in your building of life. Therefore, if she leaves, you have a little bit of damage to repair, but the building is still in good shape.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Sorry guys, but this just kind of hit too close to home for me.

The first guy I know to commit suicide over a woman was my brother-in-law. I don't like to go into too much detail on these boards about it since people may think my advice here is biased, but suffice to say it was after a 20 year marriage and 2 children. My sister-in-law then married the millionaire she was seeing less than a year after he was in the ground. This is a real point of contention her family and I have with her, but it was his terminal AFC/ONEitis conditioning that greatly contributed to his hanging himself. As a psychologist I know there are plenty of imbalances that dispose a person to suicide, but I also know there are plenty of external prompts that make taking action more probable.

AFCness (for lack of a better term) I see as a form of conditioning. If a man internalizes for the majority of his life that he "can't live without" a woman and he has even mild self-esteem issues or personality disorders it may be that he literally can't live without a girlfriend or wife. Nick decided a gun to his head was preferable to life without this girl. I'm not faulting the girl with his suicide for breaking up wiith him, quite the opposite actually. It's this proclivity for which men have been socialized into AFCness that makes for fatal actions like this. I've counseled a 17 year old girl who's former boyfriend stabbed to death (30 times) the guy she broke up with him for. He's doing life in prison now because "She was his soul-mate." I shake my head when I read The Game and about how Mystery got (gets?) suicidal because, although he's a master PUA, he's never addressed the AFC that he still is inside.

 

[TheTrimReaper]

Ricky
Which is exactly why I shouldn't let a damn women hurt me, but it is so tough when one minute a girl is telling you how much she loves you and then in a short while she ends it.

Ricky, I had that happen in the end of my engagement, which I'm in the middle of grieving from right now. She told me she loved me...Said that she couldn't believe she was doing what she was doing...and left. That was after 3 years of living together.

You have to remember that we, as men, act on our words. If I say "I love you", I really mean it. To them, words don't mean anything. They act on their emotions, so we have to watch what they do. Otherwise, we will be even more confused.

 

[Bonhomme]

Putting the cart before the horse

Sucidal tendencies are almost always biochemical in their nature. A vast majority of people who commit suicide have very low levels of the brain chemical serotonin.

A more resonable explanation is that the same brain chamical deficiencies that make one suicidal also make one an AFC.

 

[redline]

Rollo, what you are posting about has been well known in medical circles for some time... the likelihood of suicide is almost certainly tied to the level of investment (ie, kids, house, etc) see the following article for an example

http://tinyurl.com/9drvh

what this highlights is the massive loss that men experience during marriage breakdown. Not only do they lose their sense of self (that they built up through their partner), they also almost always lose their children, financial security, and are viewed as failures by society. Whilst the woman moves on to a new man and a new life, with the kids.

I have friends heading for this situation now. In sh1t marriages, depressed and unhappy, and stuck with stroppy, spoilt wives. How to help these guys when they wont help themselves?

 

[Bible_Belt]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ba46bb3b36

Man Takes AK-47 to Courthouse and Opens Fire

(because his wife was divorcing him)

 

[joekerr31]

when will people learn. the only value you have is the value you believe that you have.

your value is not tied to your woman, your job, how much you make, how much you have, etc.

so many guys, when they lose their job, woman, etc. start telling themselves they are losers.

and then some of them are so convinced that they are failures they off themselves.

its sad that many people have very few people who love them - and as a result find very little reason to live.

 

[jophil28]

I do know one thing, she will never have a guy of my caliber again. I laugh at my exes. They realize they ****ed up their chance to be with a great guy.

Yeah and to avoid their feelings that they have f**ked up, they go trawling for the nearest AFC who will play the role of fawning worshipper - all doggy bowl eyes and ready to submit his nads to her slicer..
His groveling "proves" ,to her adolescent 'logic' , that she is not flawed , that she is loveable ,and therefor the break with you could not be about her.
SO she goes off with some poor chump and causes him some brain damage.
She is just another repeat offender with little chance of rehabilitation.

 

[ketostix]

I have known and heard of females that brag gleefully and boast of some guy commiting suicide over her. Isn't this really what these girls are essentially trying to do, destroy the guy?

Jophil you pretty much nailed it. "Adolescent logic", that's spot on.

 

[grinder]

One of the knocks I’ve had against you RT and other’s is this crusade to “unplug” men from the matrix. I’ve been content to play in this matrix using its own rules against itself and have been reluctant to take up the yoke of responsibility.

I’m glad you shared this as it does bring import to the cause and makes it a little harder to sit idly by and watch others self-destruct for no other reason than that’s all they know how to do.

Those that keep blaming women, you are missing the point; women are neither good nor bad, they just ARE.

As hard as it might be to swallow, these suicides are NOT the woman’s fault.

 

[spread_love]

I told some friends once that "oneitis" and "AFCness" (I explained the terms) are the cause of many deaths, injuries, and fights.

Guys commit suicide all the time over women; guys get in bar fights over trampy women who will be 500 pounds and b-tchy in the near future.

It's amazing the damage American society and hollywood has done to the American man. It's really, really sick and sad. There's not a woman on the planet worth your health or your life.

I've had friends on the brink of suicide and in the midst of severe depression over women who weren't worth the time of day ... it's amazing.

I really feel that American (and other men) need websites like these to educate them further. Despite all the wonderful articles and DJ Bible here, the main theme of the message boards is, "What do I do, some gal dissed/dumped/wouldn't talk to me/went out with someone else/ was mean, etc. ... please HELP!"

I'm just stunned. Here's your answer to all of those questions: WALK AWAY. She's not worth it and never was.

It is very pleasing to see others saying this, at other forums I just get told I am a hater and don't know what I am talking about, I have lost two friends from suicide from relationship break ups and it breaks my heart to read that it still happens.

I will admit I have been close, but you just deal with it, use weed, booze and hang out with your friends, mope around in your PJ's, watch movies all day or whatever to help you get over it and think positive.

I once got punched in the face outside a club, because I was comforting a girl who had nasty fight with this girlfriend at the time, and guess where that guy is now?.

Dead, he killed himself many years ago and I never even knew him.

 

[KarmaSutra]

One of my closest friends (and former mentor) is an AFC. Although he is remarkably adept at picking up women he completely consumes himself with her once they've gone past the dreaded "first date". He has attempted suicide more than a handful of times and has been both Baker Acted and locked up in a psychiatric hospital in Tampa because of his tendency to cause himself harm (pills being his favorite flavor).

On more than one occasion I would be called by his sister to go to his place because she couldn't get him on the phone only to find him in a fetal position in the corner of his bedroom with bottles of pills all over the floor. I saw it for what it was, not a cry for help, a cry for ATTENTION.

Sadly, I've had little contact with him because of his predaliction with attention and denial. I expect the call anyday that he has actually completed his own demise.

Unfortunately, as with women in situations of trouble, we cannot afford to sacrifice our own necks for men. Even close friends and brothers.

And I do not subscribe to the notion that all suicides are brought on by bio-chemical issues or dependency because it takes away responsiblity and ownership. It's a billboard for attention and a bland attempt to validate his/her minimal contribution to themselves.