AFC move?

[kandyass]

Hey guys,
got a question. My LTR just rang me at work to chat. Thing is, she's in this habit of asking me 'what I got'? and when I run out of interesting news or don't have any to tell her she more or less says Bye or finds a reason to hang up.

Today I called her on it and she got all defensive and hurt sounding. Then she said or intimated something to the effect that why wouldn't she end the call if I had no news.

So I said "...well, stop calling". And she was like "really?" in a shocked kind of way.

THen...I said no and told her I was joking and then by the end of it was apologising.

Thing is, when I called her on it I felt a rush of exhiliration and crap when I backed down. Is this a clue to the question of whether I was being an a-hole or did I just pull an AFC move? Was the shocked tone of her voice that I'd shown I had a pair or was she really offended?

I seem to do a lot of apologising in this LTR and let a lot of stuff ride.

Okay, let me have it...

 

[DJDamage]

Solution: Stop talking on the phone while you work.

Tell her you are buzy. If you talk to her every day of coarse things will get boring.

Use your phone only to rearrange dates. During the date in person she can talk to you.

Don't appologized for you not wanting to talk her. You had every right. Phone conversations are B.S designed as an entertainment toy for women when they are bored. You are not being entertained are you??

DjDamage

 

[Lost In Translation]

Quote : kandyass
she's in this habit of asking me 'what I got'? and when I run out of interesting news or don't have any to tell her she more or less says Bye or finds a reason to hang up

:crackup:

Quote : kandyass
Today I called her on it and she got all defensive and hurt sounding. Then she said or intimated something to the effect that why wouldn't she end the call if I had no news.

she said i like people reading me bedtime stories

Quote : kandyass
So I said "...well, stop calling". And she was like "really?" in a shocked kind of way.

ok you acted like a man which shocked her

Quote : kandyass
THen...I said no and told her I was joking and then by the end of it was apologising.

then you acted like a wimp and b*tched out

you even gave her an apology

sad very sad

Quote : kandyass
Thing is, when I called her on it I felt a rush of exhiliration and crap when I backed down.

you felt like a man

felt good eh ?

then you went back to being her chump

and you feel like crap

why ?

BECAUSE YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT AND YOU KNOW YOU ARE COMPROMISING TO PLEASE OTHER PEOPLE

Quote : kandyass
Was the shocked tone of her voice that I'd shown I had a pair or was she really offended?

she views you as a mouse. she was shocked you roared like a lion.

offended or not doesn't matter.

her thoughts and feelings are IRRELEVANT

you are being used and from the sounds of it and it bothers you

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT

Quote : kandyass
I seem to do a lot of apologising in this LTR and let a lot of stuff ride.

you know what the problem is ^

you just told us

now what you gunna do abut it ?

and read my sig.


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[WestCoaster]

Next ...

... total beyotch. "What do you got" in regards to interesting news for her and if she doesn't like it, she hangs up?

Too many good women in the world to be dealing with this flake. Move on ... next.

Don't worry about being AFC or not, just move on. She's given you more than enough red flags to bail out.

Hint: She'll only get worse with time, not better.

 

[joekerr31]

i love west's posts.

he's always bang on the money.

J

 

[WestCoaster]

Thanks Joekerr, like your stuff, too. I think bobb would disagree with you about my posts ... so be it.

 

[rosebud]

Paraphrased from the DJBC and advice articles:

End the call (or date, or pickup) BEFORE she ends it. If she ends it, you lose your control of the situation.

If she is just using you for entertainment while she is bored, talk for a minute and then tell her that you are really busy with something or other. If you have a voicemail and can tell who is calling, make her leave a message and then return it later saying how busy you are and that you only have a minute, and again, YOU end the call.

A good friend of mine was sitting on my couch while I was reading something, and she demanded, "Entertain me!" I replied that since she had declined both of the movies I suggested, it was her job to entertain herself, and that if she couldn't manage that, I would come over and tickle her (which she playfully hates).