AFC Husband

[backbreaker]

so yesterday evening we were invited over to dinner over a friend of ours house.

The wife honestly.. is pretty hot. She could get bent over a table or two. Nevertheless that should be a qualfication not justification if that makes any sense.

So we get there, the husband is still at work. no big deal. So we are sitting there having a few drinks waiting on the husband to get home. So I ask my fiancee...um...babe's where's dinner? I mean I don't want to just come out and be rude or anything but.. you know when you get invited to dinner you kinda expect to eat. She didn't know either. We were like okay we are just gonna go with the flow and if they don't cook we will just go out to eat afterwords, no biggie.

so like, 45 minutes later, she husband comes home and then proceeds to cook dinner! Mind you he had been at work since like 5 in the morning.

Now the wife, doesn't have any kids, did not work the entire day, sat home and drank pretty much all day long, could not even bother to freaking unthaw the damn food.

So i'm looking at my fiancee for like an hour and she knows what I want to say.. I just cannot believe this ****. Even in my most afc days that would not have flown. no corn, no green beans no nothing. he made everything.

So we are eating and so I just could not take it anymore, so I said man this is really good food (it actually was), I take it you are the cook of the house. So then he says and you can't make this **** up " I would never ask my princess to do anything". I threw up a little in my mouth and lost my appetite.

guy goes to work at 5am gets off at about 6pm ish at night, than has to come home and cook while his wife sits at home and drinks all damn day. that's a marriage for you.

she will then proceed to cheat on him and tell him how much of a pecie of **** he is while taking half his **** and he will wonder why.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Woah. That must be some good p*ssy. How long have they been married for?

 

[Bluntmaster]

Woah. That must be some good p*ssy. How long have they been married for?

It's probably not even that good. For me to do that? She better suck and swallow every night and give me a backrub.

 

[jophil28]

I take it you are the cook of the house. So then he says and you can't make this **** up " I would never ask my princess to do anything". I threw up a little in my mouth and lost my appetite.

guy goes to work at 5am gets off at about 6pm ish at night, than has to come home and cook while his wife sits at home and drinks all damn day. that's a marriage for you.

she will then proceed to cheat on him and tell him how much of a pecie of **** he is while taking half his **** and he will wonder why.

I was going to write a few comments but this quote speaks for itself .

However, I am curious about men like this - they really believe that being a woman's personal slave is the path to glory.

 

[wait_out]

That's nothing. Imagine the AFC husband enforcing whatever this woman decrees proper over her children, whether its logical or not. Let's hope she's a better mother than wife.

One of the sadder parts of our atomized society (no extended family, other close families, lack of community, frequent relocations) is that kids can't see differing healthy models that they can learn from and imitate. They are going to spend years of their lives learning to unfvck themselves, if they're even capable. I've poked around a bit in BPD forums out of curiosity, which includes children. A lot kids have equal or greater resentment towards the more stable partner for not protecting them from the BPD one.

I don't think you can do much for these guys... logically it makes no sense, which means staying in this kind of relationship is pathological on his part. Too bad.

 

[jophil28]

I've poked around a bit in BPD forums out of curiosity, which includes children. A lot kids have equal or greater resentment towards the more stable partner for not protecting them from the BPD one.

Yes, because the stable one was seen by them as their only shield. The non-crazy parent is also seen as having the ability and the judgement to act effectively, whereas the BPD parent is not..
Child victims of all types of domestic abuse frequently report their deep resentment toward the more "stable" partner. This person is often referred to as "the passive aggressor" or the passive abuser. Children also commonly resent the attempts by the passive parent to "sooth and smooth" things over, rather that take effective action to end the abuse and protect them.
Little do the children realize thet the passive parent is also crazy in ways that compliment the BPD pathology.

 

[amoka]

His princess indeed. Are you certain these guys are married?

 

[Trader]

Let's not rush to judge yet

Ok, this man works AND cooks fine.

The question is, is he getting anything out of this?

More specifically, does he have FULL power over the money and decision making?

If you look at my parents, my Dad definitely did more than his fair share of the work, probably about 90% of it, but he was calling all the shots, like where to go on vacation, how to invest the money, etc. My Mom knew to just shut up and let him lead, since he was doing all the 'heavy lifting.'

Your friend better be ruling the household like a dictator and dictating all sexual positions to compensate him for all the work he is doing.

If not, then yes, officially he is an AFC.


Another subtle point that needs to be made

The frame is also important. If you say: 'Oh I am doing this (i.e. cooking) because you are a goddess and I worship you' then yes she will disrespect you.

But if you take control of the situation and cook for her, because, you are a man and you are damn good at everything and like to handle all the situations, and it's not about worshipping her, her response will be different. But even in this situation, if you are cooking for her, you damn better well get the right to decide things as what car to buy, etc. The more you do, the more decision making power you SHOULD get.

 

[backbreaker]

His princess indeed. Are you certain these guys are married?

almost 3 years.

the food was pretty damn good tho i'll give him that.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

that is just pathetic

 

[speakeasy]

That was disgusting to read. That b-tch ought to have dinner on the stove made from scratch and piping hot when he walks in the door. Feminism has messed this society up.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

maybe she is a lousy cook and his "I don't want my princess to do anything" is a secret code that means "please don't kill anymore guests with your horrible cooking. One lawsuit is enough."

or not.

 

[kingsam]

i bet she doesnt even give him any BJ's either for all that hard work!

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

While it is disgusting, I've got to admit there's really not a lot to go on from this brief report. For instance, "I would never ask my princess to do anything", could've been discreet sarcasm depending on the tone of it. That's not to give her the benefit of the doubt.

However, that said, I think it's interesting that our default assumption is that the husband is owned - and justifiably so considering how common the situation is. It's like reading about the latest suicide, or violence and then suicide, of the next random guy in the news; my first assumption is the guy did it in response to some girlfriend's rejection, or a guy who simply couldn't take that rejection anymore and offs himself. It's my default presumption because it's so common.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Backbreaker,
Both Trader and Tokyo,have interesting takes on this,as has Rollo,I would not cast a snoot myself.In my last marriage I had two Jobs going,a contract Builder and a College Lecturer....I used do ALL the cooking. Four nights a week I would not return home from the Pickle Factory till 10PM,I still made Tea,the reason? she was just so Bluddy hopeless,not lazy just unable to schedule....Part of her brain had been destroyed by massive intakes of Mary Jane over many years....Also I am a perfectionist,where food is concerned,I am a very good cook,I trained in a top Italian restuarant,moonlighting,while I gained my first degree as a very young Man...I used to curse them for being mongrel Dago Bathbuns,but they taught me so much that was useful to me in later life...What use is the Latin,French and German,the Theories of Dynamic Structures and Cadastral Surveying today?.....Bvgger all...But I can do a Chateau Briand,a Saurbraten or a Beef Wellington,in a whisker,something that combined with an appropriate choice of wine still opens legs.

 

[K-man]

That's nothing. Imagine the AFC husband enforcing whatever this woman decrees proper over her children, whether its logical or not. Let's hope she's a better mother than wife.

One of the sadder parts of our atomized society (no extended family, other close families, lack of community, frequent relocations) is that kids can't see differing healthy models that they can learn from and imitate. They are going to spend years of their lives learning to unfvck themselves, if they're even capable. I've poked around a bit in BPD forums out of curiosity, which includes children. A lot kids have equal or greater resentment towards the more stable partner for not protecting them from the BPD one.

I don't think you can do much for these guys... logically it makes no sense, which means staying in this kind of relationship is pathological on his part. Too bad.

That's a very well worded post and I agree 100%!

 

[CaptainJ]

It could have been sarcasm and maybe he actually likes cooking?

I mean he can't be that much of an AFC to bag a smoking wife.
He probably has redeeming DJ qualities.

 

[5string]

He should get some Chinese take out, go home, eat all of it in front of her and let the snag go to bed hungry.

 

[backbreaker]

It could have been sarcasm and maybe he actually likes cooking?

I mean he can't be that much of an AFC to bag a smoking wife.
He probably has redeeming DJ qualities.

she has cashed in her hotness as a wheelding tool to live a fake ass life of luxury.

she doesn't' really work, he works 12 hours a day, and she drives a benz. has damn near a ring on every finger and they have a bigger wine collection than I do, and i have a pretty damn nice sized wine collection.

whatever she wants she gets, becuse that's his princess.

I see this happening with my old oneitis the one that brought me here and that's where the red flag went off. equally pretty fvcking hot. My old oneitis, with a mixture of low self esteem (daddy issues, big ones, leave it at that), being ass licking hot, but not yet really bringing anything else to the table besides her looks, found someone who she knew would bend over backwards to take care of every want she has, with little to no effort on her part. remember the post i made here not too long about her, she had the lexus i was going to buy for my brother, and on me bringing it uP she told her husband to buy her 10k Mercedes suv, she had it bought the next time she emailed. new clothes? done. credit cards, access to his spotless credit and all that comes with it (she will run it in the ground)..

it is disgusting. and somehow he thinks he's winning.

I'm not attracted to women who can't cook. I can cook and there are some things that a woman just will not cook better than me (anything being fish related being one of them). but damnit if i am working 12 hours a day, i better smell something when i walk through the door. a lemon, some burnt toast, mc donalds, something.

a relationship is a partnership. I work, i make the money, my babe makes sure the house is clean, amke sure the clothes get washed, makes sure the clothes get sent and picked up from the laundry, bills get paid on time, make sure there is a good healthy meal that is tasty on the table.

I mean there are exceptions.. hell sometimes i just want to cook. she might be sick or really tired or just gone, or pissed lol. but to EXPECT me to cook after busting my ass all day when you haven't been. nope.

 

[zekko]

I wonder who does the dishes?

I agree it sounds like the guy is a hopeless chump, but some guys are seriously into cooking.