Advices on this please...

[Ambition Now]

Here is the story, ive been dating a girl for almost an year now, last week i made a trip to another city (without her) and talked with her on the phone when i was there...
She said she was missing me and wanted me to come back earlier then i was going to, i said to her that i was missing her too and i would come back one day earlier to meet her on her last vacations day, she said it was alright.
One day before the day i was coming back she calls me telling me that i dont need to come back earlier because she has to visit some relatives, she was weird on the phone and i heard a male voice on the background...
Let me explain this, she is not my girlfriend, we still date other people around, mostly because she never touched on the exclusivity subject.
Now i came back with the idea of no contact, now she keeps sending me messages trough cel phone and IM like: "when you come back? be sure to call me ok?" and "youve came back and even called to say hi, shame on you".
So, i am confused about my next move, should i keep no contact? Should i tell her that she disrespected me? Should i show i am pissed of (because i am)? Should i answer back her messages like it didnt affected me at all?
Thank you

 

[WaterTiger]

Pissed off because there was a male voice in the background? Could be a new guy...OR could be her 57 year old Uncle George who is the relative she's visiting with! Before you start yelling at her, find out what the story is.

DJ's are CALM in the face of all adversity!

 

[Ambition Now]

No, not pissed off because of a male voice in the background, i know she dates other guys, and she knows i date other women...
Im pissed because she ask me to change my plans to meet her saying she was missing me, i was missing her too, i agreed and then she flakes it, and talked really weird on the phone, i know this girl for a good time, and i really can tell it was not her uncle George, but that doesnt matter...
The question is, how am i supposed to act, i am really confused of what i should do...

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Lets cut the bullsh!t OK? You're suspicious that this girl you thought you might get with is getting worked by another guy. Your story is so full of holes I don't know where to begin,..

Here is the story, ive been dating a girl for almost an year now,...

and then,..

Let me explain this, she is not my girlfriend, we still date other people around, mostly because she never touched on the exclusivity subject.

but,..

Im pissed because she ask me to change my plans to meet her saying she was missing me, i was missing her too,

Who're we bullsh!tting here? You're emotionally invested in this girl, you're gone for a stretch, she meets up with a new guy in your absence, feels guilty, calls you to say she misses you, you decide to come back early (for a girl you're only casual about?), then she counters and says don't bother, then says don't come over unannounced,..you see where this is going. There's nothing confusing about any of this. Her behavior is telling you everything you need to know. Maybe the guy in the background on the phone was her brother, it's irrelevant. What is relevant is her shift in behavior.

How are you supposed to act? Just as you would with any other plate you're spinning that shifts position: Indifferent. You'd mentioned you were non-exclusive with her; if you were you wouldn't have started this thread. You're emotionally invested in a girl who is your only real option - develop more. Men without options are necessitous. You're reacting to this suspicion, and you're only suspicious because you're emotionally attached. Suspicion and jealousy have the effect of flooding our biochemistry with a rush of hormones, adrenaline, endorphins, etc. that we get off on. In fact, you just starting this thread and recounting the incident is enough to trigger that rush.

Let her pursue you while you spin more plates. If she doesn't, she wasn't worth the effort of even starting this thread. Let her imagination work for you. Do not initiate any contact. If she calls you, fine. But she's got the be the one making the effort while you explore better prospects. Your time is valuable and will be far better spent with women with a proven IL who don't make you doubt it. Your effort is better invested with women who have a genuine desire to be with you rather than ones who's desire is suspect or you'd feel a need to negotiate to receive.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Pissed off because there was a male voice in the background? Could be a new guy...OR could be her 57 year old Uncle George who is the relative she's visiting with! Before you start yelling at her, find out what the story is.

DJ's are CALM in the face of all adversity!

I agree with tiger here. Also your in a open relationship. You have NO right to be upset. Your only acting immature and if you can't handle this type of relationship knowing that other men will be laying on top of her then get out.

Not all guys can be man/strange enough for it so it's no shame. It is in our nature to want to wife a female up when you start bonin.

 

[Ambition Now]

Hey Rollo, you are right, i have feelings for this girl, like i said before, im not exclusive with her because she never brought it up, so i am keeping 2 other plates who dont satisfy me in emotional terms, they are cool girls and the sex is good also, but i am more attached to this one girl.
But like you said, my time would be much better spent with woman that shows me high IL.

 

[Trajhenkhet01]

I would just like to add this. If your new to this type of game and have had an exclusive relationship with a person and broke it off with them, don't go for switching them into an FB until you've had a few ONS's under your belt. Old habits die hard if you don't know how to let go.

 

[Ambition Now]

I would just like to add this. If your new to this type of game and have had an exclusive relationship with a person and broke it off with them, don't go for switching them into an FB until you've had a few ONS's under your belt. Old habits die hard if you don't know how to let go.

Yes, i am new to this kind of game, my past relationships were exclusive, i've never thought of spinning plates and having other options available before checking this forum.
I believe my problem now is that i got into an open relationship that i wish it was exclusive, i try to spin plates but i still have one plate that i prefer than the others...
Now she called, asking me what happened because i didnt called her when i arrived and didnt answered her emails and messages, i said i didnt called because i was busy with some work, and she said that i was upset because she told me that i dont needed to come back earlier, i said to her that she can think what she wants and she said to me to call her when im not upset with her... I just hate how girls like to turn tables, puting now the responsability to make contact on me...
Ill keep no contact and will go out to get myself new plates.