Advice?

[bridgetoofar]

I've known this girl for a while. Towards the beginning of this year, she asked me to be her escort for a homecoming game. (She was a candidate for queen). I accepted the offer, never really talked to her that much after that, didn't think much of it.

About halfway through the year, I saw her around school and she would always come up to me and talk about how perfect we are for each other, kind of hang on me/be touchy, jokingly asking me if I want to makeout in the parking lot, etc.

I was sort of caught off guard by all of this. Like I said, never really thought much of it.

Went to a couple parties. She would sit on my lap by the fire, laugh at some of my stories, etc.

She would text me and our conversations usually went pretty well. All of the sudden though, she got sort of distant. She wouldn't initiate any contact, make an effort to come talk to me at school.

So, I decided it was best I become a ghost for a while. I stopped talking to her (not going out of my way to ignore her) but just not showing a lot interest towards her. This went on for a while and then one of her friends asked me at school if I was mad at her.

Saw her that day, and she came up to me, hugged me, told me how much she misses me, you know. I told her I've been busy.

Still though, she doesn't make much effort to contact me. She knows I go fishing a lot and today she asked me when I'm going to take her fishing. Again, I can never really tell if she's serious about these things or just being playful.

Should I make an effort to text/call her, tell her I'm going fishing and ask her if she wants to join? I'm not great with these sorts of things. If it goes well, try to get another date? Or just wait it out for a while?

What do you guys think about all of this. Need an outside opinion.

 

[zorg198]

Looks like she's playing games , i don't think you should pay attention to her more than you should. she on/off with you when she want's and this is a bad sign. just move on...

 

[bridgetoofar]

Right. I feel the same way. On to the next one.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Looks like she's playing games , i don't think you should pay attention to her more than you should. she on/off with you when she want's and this is a bad sign. just move on...

Dude are you serious?!!! Wow some of the advice on here is just.....


This girl pretty much showed you every sign in the book that she was interested in you for a WHILE, yet you didn't make one move to capitalize on the opportunity. So she backed off since she figured you weren't interested in her.

Now you miss the attention and interest she gave you so your wondering what you should do....well the answer is simple and you already said it:

ASK HER TO HANG OUT!


Not only will she say yes, she will be excited like a pig in shiat about it.


In the future instead of over-analyzing just watch her actions and it will tell you everything you need to know.

Girls don't make such a strong effort usually, they give you subtle cues and its up to you to read the signs and capitalize.

Instead of going fishing though, I'd suggest doing something a little more fun for both of you like mini golf or bowling.

When you do ask her say it something like this:

"hey XXXX (name) lets go mini golfing this week; I'm free Tuesday and Thursday, what day works for you?

Obviously change the days you are free if those don't work for you, but ASSUME the sale instead of truly asking her if she wants to go with you.

Be confident she already likes you, there's nothing to wonder about.








PIMP

 

[bridgetoofar]

PIMP,

I'm glad I have a different opinion lol.

I will do that, and let you know how it goes.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

PIMP,

I'm glad I have a different opinion lol.

I will do that, and let you know how it goes.

To help you understand this better in the scheme of attraction this is what took place.

This girl decided she liked you a while ago, it might have been your looks, it might have been your status, hell it could've been anything; point is she was already sold before you did anything really. You said you've known her for a while, so maybe it was the interactions you had prior and she started to like you.

Your whole nonchalant attitude only INCREASED her attraction, which is why she was constantly approaching you and making her flirting signs more obvious (suggesting you two make out, sitting on your lap, telling you to take her fishing).

When you STILL didn't respond to this by simply flirting back with her, she didn't want to bruise her ego anymore since she felt you weren't interested.

But attraction is based on emotion and you have indirectly drove her emotions crazy which is a good thing in the beginning, hell actually all the time! LOL

What I would do is this:

Before you ask her out, start approaching her a little, but not everyday. Maybe approach her a 1-2 days in a row, flirt for a bit and then end it FIRST.

Then back off the next day or two and see if she approaches you (she will).


Then re-engage and start flirting again and when things seem like they are at a good point, ask her to hang out.

Remember don't say "Ummm err I was wondering if you wanted to go fishing with me maybe?"

Speak confidently, because you KNOW she wants you.


If you do this correctly she will happily say yes and you have it in the bag.







PIMP

 

[bridgetoofar]

Damn.

Very solid advice.

What do you think about texting this girl again?

Or should I just forget about the phone completely and only make contact in person?

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Damn.

Very solid advice.

What do you think about texting this girl again?

Or should I just forget about the phone completely and only make contact in person?

You see her at school right? No point in texting her. Just do what I said above and then when you feel like the vibe is really strong ask her to hang out. I always like doing it in person since you can get a better read on the girl.


Again don't even stress on this, she's wanted you since forever.






PIMP

 

[bridgetoofar]

Update:

It's been a while, but here's where I stand.

About a week ago on a Sunday this girl texted me wanting to go to a few open houses together.

She came over, and we ended up driving to about 5 or so different graduation parties (our friends). Seems to me like she was having a good time. We had a lot of laughs, sang stupidly in the car, etc.

She had wanted to go fishing for the longest time, so when I got home, I went to the back of my car and got my fishing poles and tackle box and we went out on my pond in a small boat.

Things went pretty good. I told her we could have a little competition. Which didn't turn out too well for me. Never been fishing in her whole life, and she ended up catching way more than I did. I had some fun with her trying to get her to hold the fish and eventually she did. I've never seen someone so excited to reel in a fish.

Afterwards I took her up the road to get ice cream. We talked for a while.

A couple friends asked us to go drive around with them that night. So we did random things, enjoyed the ride. She ended up laying on me, holding hands, talking about anything and everything.

The next day, she texted me joking around about how we're compatible because of our astrology signs. She told me she had the best day of her summer with me.

Conversation ended and I haven't really been in contact with her for about 4 to 5 days. I expected that she might try to contact me, but still hasn't.

I plan on getting her to hang out with me again sometime during this week ...

should I contact her? wait?

I don't want to appear needy.

 

[Fly By Night]

Haha... Go spin more plates, if she wants to hang out again, then she can call you. Because it seems like you're slowly starting to become attached to her. But then again, that's my perception of it. If more time passes (2-4 days), then you can contact her again to initiate a date.

She sounds like a girl that wants a guy out of her league, hence why she liked you when you did not show much interest back. I don't want you to start to appear needy when you shown the opposite earlier on; at least not this early.

 

[yuppaz]

God damn... dude, are you into this girl or not? You "don't want to appear needy" when she is telling you that your astrology signs are in line and that "she had the best day evar with you!!!" Who is the one that is appearing needy here....

Just keep it simple: If you are into this girl - then call her up and ask her out. If you aren't into this girl, or can't see potential with her, then don't. She's pretty into you so there isn't much need to CONSTANTLY appear distant with her. Once in a while is fine, but it's like adding a spice to your meal, a little is good, too much is bad.

 

[bridgetoofar]

I'm into her.

But I'm getting some conflicting advice.

Should I contact her or wait for her to contact me?

 

[yuppaz]

just call her right now and ask her out. She already contacted you hoping that you would do it then, but you didn't. She probably thinks you didn't have a good time with her.... Calm down with your gaming this one she is really into you. Just relax and hang out with her more often.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

I'm in a semi-good mood so let me break the game down to you.

Your over here taking this girl to open houses and taking her fishing. But your not making moves on this broad. In her head she is thinking "What is wrong with this dude." Your lacking confidence my brotha. I mean you couldn't even play with no titties or nothin!!! Shakin my head! You need to call this girl up and get her to the crib. Don't wait for her to contact you. You contact her and set something up. Do this before she friendzones you and finds a playa like me. Because believe me I'll make a move.

When she is at the crib you make sure to make a move on her. Don't be scared.

 

[bridgetoofar]

Appreciate the responses.

Will do.

 

[Fly By Night]

Okay, scratch my advice. If you want her, then go get her. It's only needy if you feel it's needy in your gut.