Advice?

[The Pedantical]

I'm in a bit of a though situation

I'm 26 and the problem is that I'm completely under the domination of my overprotective mother. She smothers me. I can't go out without telling her when I'm coming back, I can't go out if its raining, I can't go out after dark, or else she gets crazy

Problem is that since I grew up like that over time I became terrified of her mood swings. If she as much as raises her voice against me, I go in panic. Basically, she made me her slave. I swear if a doc tells me I have cancer my reaction won't be "Oh no I'm going to have to go through chemo" but rather "Oh no, my mom's going to be mad at me"

I don't think I can even start dating until I find a way out of this, but I'm not really sure where to start. Does anyone have any good advice?

 

[Chromeo]

you need to b*tch slap your mom. Move out or you need to tell her to shut the fvck up. your 26 freakin years old, your a man and she needs to understand you are old enough to make your own decision. Grab your sack and break her "rules" is she gonna ground you? jesus

 

[The Pedantical]

Yeah I'm trying to find a job to get the money to be independent from her, but its tough when you're 26 and have zero job experience

My resume is basically a blank page

 

[LinkinParkROX]

You don't need a job.
You need to be a damn man.
Chromeo is right. Job or not, you're a man now. Tell her to treat you like one of walk out. It's your choice to a better future. What's lamer is that you're actually ASKING us "What should I do?" This thread makes me sick.

 

[The Pedantical]

Sorry for making you sick. But I do need a job. I don't have a red penny in my name so if I walk out I'm homeless.

Its like being in a religious cult that you've been stuck in from birth and everything in your world is defined by that cult

 

[f283000]

Do you go out a lot? I bet you don't and that is usually the problem in such situations. When you stay home a lot and she gets used to seeing you at home what do you expect her to do but mother you? How can you expect her to treat you like a man when you haven't had a job at the age of 26?

I was in a similar situation such as yours. Start spending as much time out of the house as possible to get her used to the notion of you not being around anymore, and to the realization that you are a grown man.

Pick up hobbies, go drive around, take the bus if you don't got a car etc. You need to be going out of the house almost every day of the week rather than staying in your room playing video games or doing homework all day. Do your homework in the school library if you go to school.

You get the point i'm trying to make. The less she sees you at home the faster she will start realizing you are a man now. You do need a job, any job just to get out of the house.

 

[The Pedantical]

Yeah the tough part is trying to explain why I have no job experience

It's messed up. I don't know what trying to send in ten resumes a day might lead to, but at some point there's got to be somewhere I can start so I can say that at least I worked somewhere. I thought that maybe if I do some volunteering somewhere it might help me find a job later on

But until I get some kind of financial independence its bust. I started taking martial arts classes and my mom made me quit because she thought I'd get lice. Then I started art classes and she made me quit because it was in a bad part of town. In college a teacher organized a dinner at 10 PM in a bar to celebrate the end of classes, and when it was 11:30 and my cell phone was in my bag and so I couldn't answer my mom, she thought I had been kidnapped and called the police.

Its ****ed up.

 

[Captain]

You're an adult, just stop doing what she says. Even better, move out.

 

[f283000]

Yeah the tough part is trying to explain why I have no job experience

Just get any type of job. Work in mcdonalds, retail etc. You shouldn't be looking for anything too fancy just a starter type job.

 

[kingsam]

26 and no job experience?
wtf?

i smell a troll.....

 

[horaholic]

I sure as hell hope so

 

[Jon55]

You're an adult, just stop doing what she says. Even better, move out.

Yeah, because it's just that easy. I know some of the testosterone-injected people in here will flip out but life isn't as easy as "just do it" sometimes.

That said, what the hell? 26 and no job experience!? What's the real story here? If that is true, then you either have a DAMN good reason for it or there's a much greater issue here than your mom's mood-swings.

 

[The Pedantical]

That said, what the hell? 26 and no job experience!? What's the real story here? If that is true, then you either have a DAMN good reason for it or there's a much greater issue here than your mom's mood-swings.

Well I've basically been a big baby, always had my mom pay for everything, clean my clothes, basically do every thing for me since day one. It becomes a habit over time.

I wish so bad that she had kicked my ass at 15 or 16 and forced me to go out and get a job, anyway what's past is past.

This is what I want to change now, I want to depend on myself alone without my mom having to pay for anything. She's like a human version of north korea. Gives you everything you have. Controls everything you do. Comfort zone, yes, but also a poison.

I'm stoked at the idea of sitting in a job interview and answering "so, why haven't you ever had a job at your age?" This is the most daunting aspect, frankly I don't know what I'll say. I don't want to lie, but the truth is completely messed up. I thought about just saying "well I was concentrating on my studies and never really needed a job" or something like that. Anyway, I just need to find some dirty job first, I think... right now I just want to have some thing on my resume no matter what it is

I don't want to sound like I'm maxing excuses, its not excuse, just explanation. I'm depressed as **** right now, I hate myself

 

[cavedweller]

Did you ever get up off of your a$$ and find a job?

cavedweller

 

[lorekeeper]

Yeah, It's been a month, you got any updates? I realized i had to move out and get on with my life. i found an apartment and a job the next day.

 

[paulamae]

I'm in a bit of a though situation

I'm 26 and the problem is that I'm completely under the domination of my overprotective mother. She smothers me. I can't go out without telling her when I'm coming back, I can't go out if its raining, I can't go out after dark, or else she gets crazy

Problem is that since I grew up like that over time I became terrified of her mood swings. If she as much as raises her voice against me, I go in panic. Basically, she made me her slave. I swear if a doc tells me I have cancer my reaction won't be "Oh no I'm going to have to go through chemo" but rather "Oh no, my mom's going to be mad at me"

I don't think I can even start dating until I find a way out of this, but I'm not really sure where to start. Does anyone have any good advice?

don't let your guard down..

 

[The Pedantical]

Did you ever get up off of your a$$ and find a job?

cavedweller

I have a job interview tomorrow. That's like 1 place that called me back out of almost 100 applications

Still haven't moved out though

Also, my psychiatrist said that in essence my emotional reactions to my mom's mood swings is pretty much the same as what he's seen with patients who are part of a cult and are scared of their guru