Advice that has definately been asked of before

[nocluewhattodo]

Hey , I'm a 20 year old college student that's a guy. My best friend who I've been best friends with since 7th grade just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years about 2 weeks ago, and the day after they broke up, she immediately texted me n asked me if she could visit. I said yeah and she came up and spent a weekend with me. We are really close and I've been in love with her since 7th grade. I've gotten with her before but this weekend was the weekend from hell as things kept going wrong and wrong. Well, we're really close like, we'll sleep in the same bed and hold hands while sleeping and cuddling and stuff, but I have no idea what to do now. I care about her way too much to have done something only 2 weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend, but also, I've been waiting for this opportunity forever and all my friends tell me that she definately seems into me. I don't see it personally because I think she's just real flirty. The advice I need is what to do now? I didn't do anything this past weekend, but what should I do from now on?

 

[Igetit!]

Alright,I was just going to let one of the other members help you out,but one seems to have replied yet,so I'll have a go at it. Now from what you have written,it seems to me that you and this girl have been friends for a while,a long while. You've been friends with her throughout her dating this other guy,so I'm sure that she's talked to you about her relationship with this guy,or other guys she's dated. If I'm wrong,then correct me.

Now you said that you've been "waiting forever" for this opportunity to date her,and now here it is. Well,if you've been hanging around her for this whole time you've been waiting,then unfortunately,I have bad news for you.
It's over with. More than likely,you've become the latest victim of the friendzone. It's over with man,you don't have any chance with her. And all the little things she does that make you think that she might be interested in you,you're misinterpetting them. She's being friendly,but you're assuming she's showing interest. Of course,this is all my conclusion from what you've said so far. If you want a sure fire way to know without a shadow of a doubt whether she likes you or not,there is something you can do......if you have the courage to do it. Ask her out on a date. That simple. If she's interested as you think she is,then when you ask her out,she'll say yes,right?

You're right about this advice beening asked of before. Check out this thread.
It's from a guy who was in a situation basically identical to yours,therefore,the advice given is identical as well.

 

[nocluewhattodo]

Well, we go through rocky patches. With her boyfriend of 2 years, her and I didn't talk or see each other for about a year and a half of that, and about 2 or 3 months ago we started talking again. And with the friendzone thing, about 3 years ago, she recommended we be friends with benefits, but me, being kinda immature, was very awkward about it and it didn't work out. I guess I could ask her out on a date but I think she'd see it as a best friends hanging out kind of date and not the romantic one.

 

[playerone]

2 words.

F*ck...

wait for it...
ah...
almost there..

BUDDY.

 

[russell]

you're infatuated with this chick. that is the perfect recipe for disaster. there's a good chance you won't take any advice given here and you will let yourself fall into the friend zone and continue to think of her as the perfect girl but too afraid to assert yourself.

if you do manage to breach the boundaries of friendship and move into something more romantic then you will become infinitely obsessed with her, cling to her, and never let her go. she may or may not cling back to you, but there is a good chance she will be over you once she is done rebounding and you will be obsessed.

Bottom line here is that whether or not you break out of the friend zone there is one thing you need to keep in mind: she is not into you, rather she is rebounding from the relationship she just got out of. The way she is acting ("into you") is only temporary. Do not get caught up in her emotional charade.

 

[WC2]

Well, we're really close like, we'll sleep in the same bed and hold hands while sleeping and cuddling and stuff, but I have no idea what to do now.

Welcome to the friendzone. When a girl wants to 'snuggle' with you and hold hands without any sexual contact (at least a kiss) then she's simply telling you.. "Hey can you console me and act as my stand in boyfriend while I'm getting over my ex? I'll act like your best friend now but I'll soon move on to another male who can please me in ways you can't even imagine."

I care about her way too much to have done something only 2 weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend, but also, I've been waiting for this opportunity forever and all my friends tell me that she definately seems into me.

You care about a girl who is using you as a stand-in to her ex boyfriend. You care too much. The person who cares the most in relationships is the one who always gets hurt in the end (the inconvenient truth). You've been waiting for this opportunity forever, however you don't see the MILLIONS of other ladies passing by you everyday who CAN and WILL offer you just as much, if not more than this girl can. However you may not believe this until another male (who realizes this concept) comes and scoops her up like the small fish she is, in a sea of many. She'll go with it because she understands that she is not NEEDED, but she is wanted at the moment. She is aware that you NEED her.

In short, you're in no man's land. Right now this chick sees you as the cuddly rebound that she can use while she gets over her ex. Oh of course she will DENY it to the very end, but deep down that's what you are. A man who doesn't give a sh!t about her will come and scoop her up successfully because that's what she wants.. a man who doesn't need her.

You do this.

1. Stop talking to her. Do this politely.
2. Get this infatuation out of your head.
3. If she pushes her way back into your life, you nail that b!tch with a kiss on the lips or at least something. Women don't want pvssies, they want ample men.
4. Now that you're not infatuated with her anymore, game other women. Yes, she will go crazy.

 

[Charm&Style]

Welcome to the friendzone. When a girl wants to 'snuggle' with you and hold hands without any sexual contact (at least a kiss) then she's simply telling you.. "Hey can you console me and act as my stand in boyfriend while I'm getting over my ex? I'll act like your best friend now but I'll soon move on to another male who can please me in ways you can't even imagine."



You care about a girl who is using you as a stand-in to her ex boyfriend. You care too much. The person who cares the most in relationships is the one who always gets hurt in the end (the inconvenient truth). You've been waiting for this opportunity forever, however you don't see the MILLIONS of other ladies passing by you everyday who CAN and WILL offer you just as much, if not more than this girl can. However you may not believe this until another male (who realizes this concept) comes and scoops her up like the small fish she is, in a sea of many. She'll go with it because she understands that she is not NEEDED, but she is wanted at the moment. She is aware that you NEED her.

In short, you're in no man's land. Right now this chick sees you as the cuddly rebound that she can use while she gets over her ex. Oh of course she will DENY it to the very end, but deep down that's what you are. A man who doesn't give a sh!t about her will come and scoop her up successfully because that's what she wants.. a man who doesn't need her.

You do this.

1. Stop talking to her. Do this politely.
2. Get this infatuation out of your head.
3. If she pushes her way back into your life, you nail that b!tch with a kiss on the lips or at least something. Women don't want pvssies, they want ample men.
4. Now that you're not infatuated with her anymore, game other women. Yes, she will go crazy.

+100000000000000000000

 

[DJDamage]

My advice is located in this post:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=158112&page=2

 

[nocluewhattodo]

you know what, you guys are absolutely right.
cept the hand holding bed thing was complicated because she got real sick that night from the party we were at so i took her back to my place n she just laid down next to me n held my hand n cuddled, wasnt really gonna make a move then bc i knew she felt like absolute ****.
but yeah, i mean she didn't make an honest effort to be my friend while her n her boyfriend were going out and hell, she may be amazing to me and all but shed be lucky to have me. and now that they broke up shes tryin to wiggle back into my life? eff that. im gonna try wc2's idea and just politely stop talking to her and show myself that im not infatuated with her. if she does come back ill make my move and if she denies me, then whatever ive lived two years without her as my best friend i can live the rest of my life the same exact way. thanks guys ill let you know how it works.

 

[jdjd]

1. Stop talking to her. Do this politely.

how is this done really? i need this asap...

 

[nocluewhattodo]

i think he means like... stop going out of my way to talk to her or initiate conversations
if she tries to talk to me im gonna be nice about it but im not gonna openly try to talk back and actually keep the conversation going

 

[KontrollerX]

you're infatuated with this chick. that is the perfect recipe for disaster. there's a good chance you won't take any advice given here and you will let yourself fall into the friend zone and continue to think of her as the perfect girl but too afraid to assert yourself.

if you do manage to breach the boundaries of friendship and move into something more romantic then you will become infinitely obsessed with her, cling to her, and never let her go. she may or may not cling back to you, but there is a good chance she will be over you once she is done rebounding and you will be obsessed.

Bottom line here is that whether or not you break out of the friend zone there is one thing you need to keep in mind: she is not into you, rather she is rebounding from the relationship she just got out of. The way she is acting ("into you") is only temporary. Do not get caught up in her emotional charade.

This is the best advice in the thread.

Understand that now you can use this emotionally vulnerable time to fvck her and have a good time with her and you should do that and not worry about any guilt bullsh!t as you are young and should live it up instead of wasting your life on worrying about sh!t she is not even going to care about after she sucks you off.

Basically though to get in her pants you must assert yourself as a man that desires and wants her and this will create the necessary anxiety in her that she will interpret as desire for you if she finds you to be an attractive guy that she wouldn't mind knocking it out with.

Friendship, waiting and all that other AFC fagg0try will not get you laid, it will get you blue balled, friendzoned and bitter. You must understand that women take supposed friendship from a guy not as a precursor to a relationship but they really believe you want to be their friend and then place you in that box and think of you as a friend and its the worst kind of friendzoning too because the clueless guy places himself in that box when before the woman's opinion of him was neutral and she may of been willing to be his girl if only he asserted himself and acted like a g0ddamned man with manly desire for her rather than a snivelling AFC b!tch who thinks friendship is the necessary transition for getting into her poon.

So yeah be a man and act like a man and you will get to fvck her but like the other poster said your emotions for her are so strong you are probably not going to listen to a word any of us say and royally fvck this up and plus even guys that act like men and are real men know that making a chick their girlfriend after she just got out of a relationship is a recipe for disaster as you get turned into the rebound guy which is the guy that helps her get over her emotions from the last relationship's end and then she dumps you when she's emotionally ready to go after what she really wants in a man.

Edit: Just realized this thread seemed to be resolved well by Russel and WC2 so I guess original poster don't consider my post being left up as being directed at you so much anymore as I'm leaving it up for lurkers who might need that extra bit of advice. I think now that you will follow what the DJ's have said.

 

[Furyguy]

Good man, you're on the right path. Stay strong and don't give in because you're doing the right thing here.

 

[r0cky]

I could never imagine myself being with a female in my bed doing nothing. It would be easier to put an elephant go thru a needle.

 

[Mavrick]

I wish I could help you. I really do, but I think what needs to happen is for this girl to break your heart.

I think you're in denial, and you will only wake up once she has destroyed every sense of dignity that you have. By what you have said, I'd say you have very little.

A man does not wait for a woman! You've mistaken this woman to be some sort of puzzle piece that's needed to complete who you are. What if this woman decided to never talk to you again this very instant? Then what? Every bit of emotions that you've invested in her will fall in on itself like a house of cards. For you to be emotionally dependent on someone is just like standing in front of a MAC truck going 50 miles an hour no matter how far away that truck is and how long it takes to run right over you.

You can already feel those feelings that you think you'll get from her. You can already feel good about yourself right now without her, and that's exactly where you need to get yourself. It's extremely unhealthy for you to live this way, and I wish I knew you personally so I could knock some since into you. Or maybe just talk some sense into you.

Anyway, I hope you learn one way or the other.