Advice pls

[luckystory]

I was shagging my bestfriend on and off for 3 yrs and she always like i dont want a bf.
I fell in love and she goes and gets a bf. What the **** is that about?

I did no contact but for some reason i let her back in my life because i love her and i was weak.
The fact that were bestfriends, makes it really hard for me to do no contact. Everytime i see her all the feelings comes back. When i do no contact its ok but i miss her loads and its hard. When we do meet up and alone, we hold hands and flirt but in the back of my head im thinking wtf, u got a bf and its not me.

Any advice would be great.

 

[Igetit!]

I was shagging my bestfriend on and off for 3 yrs and she always like i dont want a bf.
I fell in love and she goes and gets a bf. What the **** is that about?

You failed to understand the "female language" she gave to you when she told you she didn't want a boyfriend.


When she said,"I don't want a boyfriend",what she meant was "I don't want YOU for my boyfriend".


Her not wanting you for her boyfriend was YOUR FAULT. Yep,I said YOUR fault.


You can't be Superman. You can't be a girl's "everything" because HER EMOTIONS won't let you. You have to choose a role,act,behave,and project that role,and STICK WITH IT.


You tried to be both her bestfriend and her boyfriend,and EMOTIONALLY,that can't be for her.


Girls tell their best friends everything,right? A girl will go to her best friend and talk with them about the problems she's having in her relationship.


Well how could she do that with you? The VERY FACT that a man and a woman date ensures that there'll be problems and bumps in the road,and when that happens,she'll need her best friend to go and vent to.


Well if you're both her boyfriend AND her best friend,how does that work? You think she's going to come to you (the best friend) and vent and complain about you (the boyfriend)?


You think she's going to complain about YOU to you????


Doesn't work that way,you can't be both. You have to pick one,and KNOW THIS....THE ONE YOU PICK IS THE ONE SHE'LL DEVELOP FEELING FOR.



So if you choose the friend,she'll develop "friendly feelings" towards you,but if you choose the boyfriend,she'll develop relationship type feeling for you.



You chose the best friend,so she grew friendly type feelings,but now you want to change it up. And I suppose you expect the friendship type feelings she has that formed over 3 years to suddenly just disappear because you want to date her.

I did no contact but for some reason i let her back in my life because i love her and i was weak.

Don't know what the point of the no contact was.

You think she's going to want to get into a relationship with you simply because you disappeared for a few days?

Seriously,what were you trying to make happen by using no contact on her?

When we do meet up and alone, we hold hands and flirt but in the back of my head im thinking wtf, u got a bf and its not me.

Well what did you expect? If you two didn't date after knowing and being around each other for 3 years,and her REPEATEDLY TELLING YOU she didn't want YOU as her boyfriend,then why is her finally having a boyfriend and him not being you such a shock?



You say that you think to yourself,"you got a boyfriend and it's not me" when you're around her. Yeah,so? It's not her fault you decided to become her best friend.


YOU CHOSE to become friends with her. All she did was reciprocate.

Any advice would be great.

Don't know what type of advice you're looking for. You haven't even said what it is you want with her. If it's sex,it's possible it may happen again,I mean you two did it off and on for three years,but if it's to be her boyfriend,I'm afraid that's out of the question,you made your choice.



You chose to be her best friend,and now that's the bond you have.

It just is what it is.

 

[luckystory]

What should i do.

 

[luckystory]

thank u btw, it was very honest and hurtful but it was truth

 

[luckystory]

its my birthday on the weekend and im goin amsterdam with some mates. i texted her and said gonna spend friday with my amsterdam crew as we fly out on sat.
She text back sayin, i think its rude to make plans with some1 and they even got the day off so she can go to ur birthday drinks and u send a 5 word text.

i want to text back, i no what u could do on ur day off instead, get ur bf to **** u like i use to and as i could remember u shouted out more then 5 words.

ps i do want to get with this girl. so that text might not be best. What u think guys?

 

[neghitzbrah]

its my birthday on the weekend and im goin amsterdam with some mates. i texted her and said gonna spend friday with my amsterdam crew as we fly out on sat.
She text back sayin, i think its rude to make plans with some1 and they even got the day off so she can go to ur birthday drinks and u send a 5 word text.

i want to text back, i no what u could do on ur day off instead, get ur bf to **** u like i use to and as i could remember u shouted out more then 5 words.

ps i do want to get with this girl. so that text might not be best. What u think guys?

Did you do something fvcked up that made her react like this, like promise to spend your bday with a girl who wants to use your mind?

If not, and who the hell is she to think that you are OBLIGED to dedicate your life and cater to her needs?!?!?!? Ignore the bvtch

 

[Iceberg]

its my birthday on the weekend and im goin amsterdam with some mates. i texted her and said gonna spend friday with my amsterdam crew as we fly out on sat.
She text back sayin, i think its rude to make plans with some1 and they even got the day off so she can go to ur birthday drinks and u send a 5 word text.

i want to text back, i no what u could do on ur day off instead, get ur bf to **** u like i use to and as i could remember u shouted out more then 5 words.

ps i do want to get with this girl. so that text might not be best. What u think guys?

Getting all girly and personal about it doesn't accomplish anything. Never do that with anyone. The person who angers you is the person who controls you.

You told her that you're leaving for the weekend. She responded. Just leave it at that. What else is left to say?

 

[Allurre]

Bro, she's already accustomed to the situation where you and her are strictly 'best friends'.

You therefore aren't her boyfriend, and shouldn't even be upset.

Get over it. Find yourself a new girl.

 

[luckystory]

Guys, ive not seen or spoke for ages. she texted me last week saying she miss me and ive just got a text sayin her aunt has died.
Should i text back or ignore it or what.

 

[dementia]

I disagree with no contact not working.. its the only thing that will work sometimes (doesnt always work, but what about "absense makes the heart grow fonder" and "give her the gift of missing you")..

I would still not respond. I think if you pull a no-contact on a girl and she texts you saying she misses you, its not enough. It could well be just a ploy to boost her ego that youre still around FOR HER, on HER terms.. You ignoring it was a good thing. You want more from her.. if she texts you angrily even like "**** i thought we were friends and ur not contacting me now?!".. then you can call a day later or something and set up some casual date, we i would reinvent myself in a way... indirectly talk about other things you've been doing DHV stories.. almost like starting again.. let her feel like her grip of you is sleeping quick.