Advice please?

[RobLB]

Was wondering what you guys think about this. I have met this girl at a school where her kid and my kid go to school. Basically nothing much just hello and good morning, thats about it. Well I am surfing Myspace and I see her in there, not knowing it is actually her!! I message her and she replies that she knows me from our kids school and then I recognize her and we began weeks of talking back and forth. She tells me about her hardship with her kids father and that she just wants to find some honest guy, blah , blah , blah....it just seems like she is opening up to me.
Then I find out she works in sales for a sign company and I tell her that I have been interested in changing our sign out and would like her to come give me an estimate. Well she showed up today and she seemed really nervous. I want to ask her out but,.. my question is that I am 39 and she is 25 and I am wondering if she will think im some kinda of weirdo for asking her?? It's been a while since I have really shown interest in a girl because of all the BS I've been through with my divorce and my recent breakup, but I kinda like this chic. I'm just not sure about the age thing??

Thanks

 

[penkitten]

maybe she seemed nervous because she does like you .
ask her out, what harm will it cause?

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by penkitten
maybe she seemed nervous because she does like you .
ask her out, what harm will it cause?

cosign

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Dude, you should ask her out. 39 years old is not too old for a 25 year old chick. Use the age difference to your advantage by coming accross as a guy who's got his life handled and is more mature than the typical guys she'll run into.

 

[STR8UP]

I would probably draw the line at age 25 (women seem to mature a great deal at this age), but you have nothing to lose by asking her out. Chances are if she seemed nervous she's interested. Go for it.

 

[( . )( . )]

Originally posted by STR8UP
(women seem to mature a great deal at this age)

Mature? lol into what.. blue cheese? Physically yeah I agree.

I'm with the rest here, technically shes only 4 years your junior anyway (A womans 29 is a mans 39). Strike like the deadly viper you are while the iron is still relatively hot or else those boring chats over myspace about how her kids father is a deadbeat dad yada yada will get longer and longer.

 

[KarmaSutra]

What are you going to think if you DON'T ask her out? You'll wallow in self misery for nothing. Just do it.

 

[baltyre]

go for it, man.

 

[RobLB]

Thanks for the advice guys,....I will ask her out.

Will give update

 

[RobLB]

Progress report

Just wanted to give heads up about this girl. We have gone out to lunch and I have been to her house a couple of times to watch movies and eat dinner, but her little boy is always there,..which I don't mind at all. She seems interested in me but she is very cautious because she has had some very bad relationships, like abusive ones!!
Well tonight will be our first actual date without kids. I want to try and kiss her but I don't want to scare her off either. I'll be going out of town for a week this sunday and she's already told me that she will miss me!! So should I try and lay one on her(kiss that is) or wait longer??

Thanks

 

[NewMan]

Personally I'm not liking this.... you actually meet her kid(s) before you went out on a date with her?

That to me me reeks of "I wanna a daddy for my kid".

What happened to meeting a person first, getting to know them well and protecting your kids from a long line of guys who you trudge into the house?

 

[Kaptain]

Re: Progress report

Originally posted by RobLB
So should I try and lay one on her(kiss that is) or wait longer??

No more waiting. Its not like you hardly know her.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

It's not an issue of age. She's a 25 y.o. single mommie (with a MySpace account no less) looking for a new Daddy.

Eject.

 

[RobLB]

Originally posted by NewMan
Personally I'm not liking this.... you actually meet her kid(s) before you went out on a date with her?

That to me me reeks of "I wanna a daddy for my kid".

What happened to meeting a person first, getting to know them well and protecting your kids from a long line of guys who you trudge into the house?

Well I appreciate your input, but it was kinda hard not to meet her kid since I see them in the morning when i take my kid to school. And she has made it very clear that she is not "looking" for a father for her child, even so I wouldn't mind.

 

[RobLB]

Originally posted by Rollo Tomassi
It's not an issue of age. She's a 25 y.o. single mommie (with a MySpace account no less) looking for a new Daddy.

Eject.

The kid is really not the issue here, I have a little girl the same age as her boy. And if so what is wrong with that?? I mean if i was a single mom raising a little boy by myself I would want him to have some kinda father figure,..wouldn't you??

 

[Egoist]

a. you should have kissed her already
b. watch out for the abused single mother thing, she probably has two trucks worth of baggage and issues.

 

[NewMan]

Well I appreciate your input, but it was kinda hard not to meet her kid since I see them in the morning when i take my kid to school. And she has made it very clear that she is not "looking" for a father for her child, even so I wouldn't mind.

stop making enxcuses for her.

You know as well as I, that meeting the kid as she drops her off at school is totally different to you going over to their place and hanging out as she makes dinner or whatever.

She can tell you whatever she wants, but if she isn't looking for a daddy then why are you hanging out all together at this early stage?

She seems interested in me but she is very cautious because she has had some very bad relationships, like abusive ones!!

I can't believe this statement.

If she's so cautious, why are you meeting the kid?

sounds like she should be cautious with her kid.

 

[RobLB]

Originally posted by NewMan
I can't believe this statement.

If she's so cautious, why are you meeting the kid?

sounds like she should be cautious with her kid.

I'm not meeting her kid!!!!!!! And I never even met her kid at first, I would just see her, not the kid. We met 3 times before i even spoke to her kid.

Do you have a kid????

 

[Slickster]

If you both have kids then you shouldn't be worried about her being a single mom looking for a father. You might be a single dad looking for a mother

I don't have kids myself but many of my friends do and the single ones have had a lot of trouble meeting/keeping women because of it.

I know where Newman and the others are coming from when they are warning you about single moms but in your case I think you shouldn't be focusing on the "kids" issue too much.

If you like her go for it.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

Rollo wrote:

It's not an issue of age. She's a 25 y.o. single mommie (with a MySpace account no less) looking for a new Daddy.

I don't think he should eject based on this information. In fact, I think it's very simple for guys to find reasons to eject, but how would that improve his game?

The bottom line is that there's nothing wrong with her being a single mom (and the original poster is a single dad, so it's the same deal for him). Plus, what's wrong with having a myspace account? She wants to meet new people and move on with her life. So saying he should eject based on that is very premature.

On to the topic at hand...


Rob,

I think the main advantage you had here was that you're an older guy and she's looking at you as a take charge kind of guy. Someone different than her other past boyfriends. The fact that you've been acting like a wuss and can't even kiss her by now is not a good sign at all. You should always move in for the kiss on the first date. I venture to say that you should kiss in the middle of the first date, that way the rest of the date is spent on heavy making out and possibly sex. So you blew it there.

Also, the fact that all her past relationships have been abusive should also convey to you that she likes "bad" guys and in effect is turned on by the bad treatment on some level. So if you're the sweet nice guy who can't even kiss her and plays with the kid etc, she won't feel horny for you and want to f*ck you asap. You need a more bad*ss edge. You need to take charge more and lead more. What is this bullsh*t about going over to her house all the times to watch movies like one of her chick friends? You need to be going out on action dates, getting the blood pumping, etc.

Take charge man. Be a caveman or she'll throw you in the friends zone so fast your head will spin.

Cesare Cardinali