Advice please

Johnsmith8899

Banned
Joined
May 21, 2017
Messages
75
Reaction score
13
Age
36
met a girl on a cruise . Had a great time and played the game right- tons of fun and sex. She lives in another state. She flew down from another state 2 weeks after cruise to see me. Told me she loved me and yadaya. So I made plans to go see her a month after. We agreed to see each other and not see anyone else to try and see if it will work so she can eventually move down if it does. 2 weeks before I’m headed there I notice a slight change in behavior through text. Less emojis/ shorter responses. She even said it might be best to meet Saturday morning (rather than Friday night that I fly in due to hotel parking) she also mentioned she does not want to dress all of a sudden for Halloween. Just very odd behavior. So after a while of doing this I told her to not bother and I will do my own thing when I fly in. I felt disrespected that she is not excited any more just suddenly and that she’s trying to alter plans(did not tell her it was out of disrespect just said it’s fine I’ll do my own thing) She then changed her behavior and started texting like her “old self” I told her I’m sticking to my decision (knowing that she only shaped up because I pulled away) we haven’t spoke all day .. but do u think she was testing me or what — most likely over at this point. Thoughts?
 

dude99

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 1, 2016
Messages
2,561
Reaction score
3,117
Age
51
met a girl on a cruise . Had a great time and played the game right- tons of fun and sex. She lives in another state. She flew down from another state 2 weeks after cruise to see me. Told me she loved me and yadaya. So I made plans to go see her a month after. We agreed to see each other and not see anyone else to try and see if it will work so she can eventually move down if it does. 2 weeks before I’m headed there I notice a slight change in behavior through text. Less emojis/ shorter responses. She even said it might be best to meet Saturday morning (rather than Friday night that I fly in due to hotel parking) she also mentioned she does not want to dress all of a sudden for Halloween. Just very odd behavior. So after a while of doing this I told her to not bother and I will do my own thing when I fly in. I felt disrespected that she is not excited any more just suddenly and that she’s trying to alter plans(did not tell her it was out of disrespect just said it’s fine I’ll do my own thing) She then changed her behavior and started texting like her “old self” I told her I’m sticking to my decision (knowing that she only shaped up because I pulled away) we haven’t spoke all day .. but do u think she was testing me or what — most likely over at this point. Thoughts?
Met her on vacation.

Chicks are 3000% more likely to have sex/one night stands while on vacation.
You met her when she was horny and in party mode.

She went back to her normal life and now this has you scratching your head.

Do not invest any time or any serious feels in her. You may see her on this trip. You may even have sechs. But she is no longer on vacation or in party mode. Schit just got real. You showed up. Now she is showing you her real self. I bet i 5 or 6 months she will vanish.

Invest nothing in this girl.
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,419
Reaction score
2,461
Basically propose to keep her.

@TheMonkeyKing will verify

When losing frame, wife up, is the DJ code.
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,383
Reaction score
2,123
Told you she loved you after two weeks? Oh boy...

Changes in behavior can occur for many many reasons. If a prolonged change, then you can adjust. The fact is you reacted to her changes and let her dictate the terms.. you didn't lead properly.
 

resilient

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2005
Messages
1,678
Reaction score
1,413
Ugh. I went through this with my last ex main plate even though she was local. No divertido.

The remarkable change in her behavior to less flirty, less flexible, and less excited to see you or text you are all indicators of another hen in the house.

Good advice from the above posters.

LDRs... in my opinion just don't work. They don't say the cliche "out of sight, out of mind" for just any superfluous reason.

She lives in another state and you both have to fly to see each other? That's expensive, bruh. That's fine if you have several plates in the rotation and she's a side thing, yet it sounds like you're invested financially so far with the flight arrangements, hotel, parking, etc. Kudos though for pulling back and maintaining frame.

Final word: Walk or at least demote her to low plate status while you look for better options ASAP.
 

TheGambino

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 25, 2013
Messages
2,704
Reaction score
930
Location
Somewhere
Girls that move on so quickly have fvcked loads of men in Their lives.
 

Johnsmith8899

Banned
Joined
May 21, 2017
Messages
75
Reaction score
13
Age
36
In my opinion right HERE is when she likely lost interest. Turning point.

Did she initiate the discussion/desire for exclusivity?
Yes she did and she’s the one who started with the I love yous
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,231
Reaction score
5,636
Yes she did and she’s the one who started with the I love yous
You thought you would keep things going by agreeing to exclusivity so quickly. Unfortunately, you did the exact opposite. Basically you showed her you have no options, because any guy with options would NEVER agree to be exclusive with some chick that lived 2 states away and who you only see once in a while.

This is you basically telling her she is higher value than you without saying it. She wanted to chase you, but instead you basically chased yourself right into her...very unattractive behaviour in a woman's mind. You need to learn how these type of things work or this will keep happening.
 

marmel75

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 4, 2012
Messages
7,231
Reaction score
5,636
She has other options and is probably pretty unstable to move that quickly to begin with. Dodged a bullet.
And he just told her he doesn't have any other options. What guy in his right mind agrees to exclusivity after having sex a few times with a chick living 2 states away and who he sees once every few weeks or month?? He made it WAY too easy for her and killed the vibe.
 

TheMonkeyKing

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 20, 2014
Messages
2,337
Reaction score
1,427
Fck on a cruise. Meet again once after a couple of weeks. Suddenly exclusive :lol::rofl:

Wow, some of you guys do make me chuckle.
 

Morphy

New Member
Joined
Oct 15, 2017
Messages
4
Reaction score
2
Age
30
You got too invested too soon and she lost attraction. Life goes on.
 

devilkingx2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
4,543
Reaction score
2,238
Location
NYC
met a girl on a cruise . Had a great time and played the game right- tons of fun and sex. She lives in another state. She flew down from another state 2 weeks after cruise to see me. Told me she loved me and yadaya. So I made plans to go see her a month after. We agreed to see each other and not see anyone else to try and see if it will work so she can eventually move down if it does. 2 weeks before I’m headed there I notice a slight change in behavior through text. Less emojis/ shorter responses. She even said it might be best to meet Saturday morning (rather than Friday night that I fly in due to hotel parking) she also mentioned she does not want to dress all of a sudden for Halloween. Just very odd behavior. So after a while of doing this I told her to not bother and I will do my own thing when I fly in. I felt disrespected that she is not excited any more just suddenly and that she’s trying to alter plans(did not tell her it was out of disrespect just said it’s fine I’ll do my own thing) She then changed her behavior and started texting like her “old self” I told her I’m sticking to my decision (knowing that she only shaped up because I pulled away) we haven’t spoke all day .. but do u think she was testing me or what — most likely over at this point. Thoughts?
she probably does this with a different guy every vacation because she likes new and exciting ****
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,685
Reaction score
7,709
Location
USA, Louisiana
She was a vacation chick. Then thought you might be what she wanted.... after a couple of weeks, she realized you were not what she thought. Her interest level dropped

I got to fvck her, time to get off the ride and let another dude have his turn. You go find a new chick.
 

Johnsmith8899

Banned
Joined
May 21, 2017
Messages
75
Reaction score
13
Age
36
U all made some good points- went on the trip. Everything went well for the first few days. She came to hotel we had a great time and she even took me out to dinner all expenses paid by her. Towards the end of the trip we went to a Halloween party so I can show her my friends and what not but she was very distant even tho I tried to make her feel comfortable. She went to bathroom and never returned and I found her outside waiting for me. I asked why she didn’t let me know she wasnt coming back. Anyway went to the football game the following day and again she was detatched from my friends and the entire scene. She appeared to have a problem will me just letting loose and having fun with my friends. Caught her rolling her eyes and she said something off color to me in the Parking lot like “why r u looking at me / annoying me “ so I just didn’t say anything back, maintained frame bc it was raining and thought she was behaving this way because she was shy and upset about the rain (we left early due to that) we made it back to hotel and I never got an apology so when things calmed down I confronted her and said the way she’s been behaving is unacceptable and that she needs to go/ she packed her things and on the way out the door she said “you are clumsy and need to grow up” and she said I can give u a hug before I leave / I said a hug is not what I want (what I wanted was an apology) so I just didn’t chase after her and let the hotel door shut and let her leave / I got this long text about how we’re just not right for each other and how a long distance relationship won’t work (although she was formerly willing to work on it and potentially move to me and was legit in tears the day before saying she likes me so much and wanted a future) I did not respond to the message / what I want is a turn around in her behavior, a sincere apology and to make it work although it’s not my call to make so I’m walking away and cutting contact because I reject bull**** from women /thoughts?
 

Glassguy

Moderator
Joined
Apr 25, 2016
Messages
4,695
Reaction score
8,641
Age
47
She sounds like a fun killing b!tch. Not sure why you would want to ever contact her again.
 
Top