Advice Please

[BeExcellent]

I have a fantastic income. I am bright as fvck and I can converse better than most men I know. I have a huge amount of knowledge on pretty mucheverything.

All I hear is "elite athelete"......"model" all these fvcking status tags make me not want to play. Do you know how riddiculously narcissistic you make women sound? Why not put us on a fvking top trumps card?

I'm in a bad place to be fair, I don't know how high value one needs to be, I earn more than most of my friends, I am taller. I am a bit overweight, this needs to change. You aren't the best one to give examples as you are clearly a high value woman, a woman I could never get in reality, because the men you describe are leagues above me to be honest. The woman I am wanting isn't the type to snag this type of man.

I know you're trying to get me to see the light, but it pulls at the pit of my stomach as I am mildly borderline and have always struggled with self esteem issues. On the times I didn't, I went for seriously high value women who burned me HARD. I never quite got over that.

How does anyone ever KEEP a woman, seeing as a man can swoop in, there is always someone higher value? someone with more money? Is it THIS mercenary? Why dont women just become prostitutes? I dont pick the prettiest.

Listen I actually get it. I do. I use labels because how else am I going to succinctly describe someone who accomplished something? When I was young I too struggled with self esteem. I had no idea I was hot/pretty/etc. until I went to college, and then that was such a paradigm change I had to learn about social dynamics that my mentally ill mother should have taught me about growing up. I knew I was ambitious and smart and I was a tomboy so I deeply understood men. Women confused the hell out of me for a long time...and I'm a woman!! Gee thanks mom. So I had to look very hard at myself and take on the responsibility for my own well-being, and fortunately I had a gaggle of great girlfriends who steered me in the right direction and kept me out of trouble. I struggled with self esteem. I struggle with the finger prints my mother's narcissistic manner left on me. Still.

Trust that you'll get there and drive yourself forward. Commit to the fitness because in so doing you'll create a habit from which you will see tangible results and improvements. That alone will do you a world of good. You are smart and successful and have much to offer. What you have to offer, own it unapologetically.

Listen there is always a shinier version. The difference in keeping a woman versus not is in two things, only 2.

1. Your Leadership
2. Her Belief in YOU

Character is what keeps people together through thick and thin. Screen for character above all else (obviously you want a gal you find attractive) but make character your #1 trait to screen for and that will help a great deal.

Read up on Ray Bradbury. More to the point, read up on Mrs. Ray Bradbury. There are lots of non-famous couples with a dynamic like the Bradburys out there in the world. It's totally doable.

Cheers to you

 

[Fruitbat]

Listen I actually get it. I do. I use labels because how else am I going to succinctly describe someone who accomplished something? When I was young I too struggled with self esteem. I had no idea I was hot/pretty/etc. until I went to college, and then that was such a paradigm change I had to learn about social dynamics that my mentally ill mother should have taught me about growing up. I knew I was ambitious and smart and I was a tomboy so I deeply understood men. Women confused the hell out of me for a long time...and I'm a woman!! Gee thanks mom. So I had to look very hard at myself and take on the responsibility for my own well-being, and fortunately I had a gaggle of great girlfriends who steered me in the right direction and kept me out of trouble. I struggled with self esteem. I struggle with the finger prints my mother's narcissistic manner left on me. Still.

Trust that you'll get there and drive yourself forward. Commit to the fitness because in so doing you'll create a habit from which you will see tangible results and improvements. That alone will do you a world of good. You are smart and successful and have much to offer. What you have to offer, own it unapologetically.

Listen there is always a shinier version. The difference in keeping a woman versus not is in two things, only 2.

1. Your Leadership
2. Her Belief in YOU

Character is what keeps people together through thick and thin. Screen for character above all else (obviously you want a gal you find attractive) but make character your #1 trait to screen for and that will help a great deal.

Read up on Ray Bradbury. More to the point, read up on Mrs. Ray Bradbury. There are lots of non-famous couples with a dynamic like the Bradburys out there in the world. It's totally doable.

Cheers to you

I tried to lead, she said she wanted to see how things go. She doesn't believe in me, clearly. Sorry to hear you had a rough childhood but given your genetic good fortune, it all worked out. Imagine having that, and being ugly as a dog.....just think about it.

The issue is - I believed in myself just fine before repeated female rejection, and I have had it my whole life. There must be some unwritten repulsive characteristic because I never, ever get a girl who is convinced and doesn't need "more time". When I look at the losers who do well, I shake my head in disbelief.

To be honest, it's hard to screen when you have to work hard for every opportunity. I earn S160,000 in USD per year yet I can't get a girlfriend. I think I know the game and then all this shyt happens and I don't know where the fvck I am with any of it. It doesn't make any sense and I can't solve the problem.

There are things I disliked about this girl too. On my last date with another girl, I thought, perhaps she isn't the one.....yet, give me a rejection and my brain will obsess the hell out of it because if there is one thing I hate above everything else, it is being rejected by women. It hurts worse than any pain, and I have gone through a hell of a lot of shyt, but it's so personal.....and it takes me such effort to find suitibly intelligent women.....when a bright girl I can talk to rejects me it's like being stabbed, repeatedly, and I can't block it out. I can't do my job, I can't work out, I just introspect and beat myself down, because it's such a fundamental rejection of everything I have done.

My anguish on this is over now. I have blown off enough steam, all I can say now is I see the game for what it is and I will NEVER invest value or time in a woman again. I have NEVER been dumped for not paying enough attention or time with a girl, but get cconsistently dumped for doing this. Now, they can fvck off. My money, my time, if they want to fvck me, fine, but no more Mr Nice Guy - but it was my charm which got me this far, and this is what I cannot understand. It's good at the start but it seems I need to keep moving away from her to maintain it, and I am back to being confused on how this whole thing worls.

Again, now my friends will ask "how did it go with that girl?" "dumped me, again, but the great thing is I now need to work twice as hard to up my value, whilst my naturally good looking friends get new ass every week". Yes, I am negative, this is why so many men commit suicide. The game is not fair, not on us. It's loaded against me, no matter how good I think I am,it is never enough. Never.

Actually considering moving, or doing something big with my life. Trying to get a woman who I like is like trying to hold in the tide, there are too many men, too little girls, with too high standards, and not capable of understanding true value, only superficial childhood games and status tags to show off to their friends.

I have options, one of which I recently rejected and she was riddiculously intense, one who is hotter than this girl. She sees this whole thing as "wow, he's so low value to want me so soon" Truth is, I never met anyone I liked so much for a long time, as a person. Yet, she is programmed to seek the man that doesn't give a shyt.

Going to leave this now, yet again this **** happens and I have 0.00 confidence to find new ones. Always a fvcking false dawn, always someone better out there.

My dating life:

I smile

She smiles harder

I invite her over

She says how great you are, lets spend more time

I say wow, you're great, this is going well

She stabs me in the balls with a pitchfork and rides off with someone else.

Cursed, I tell ye!

 

[@Jonanthony]

Fruitbat

Chin up dude.... That's exactly the point of my previous thread re maintaining frame in this brutal AF market, particularly if you find a woman of value....You have high value , frustration is inevitable,and she obviously isn't the fit for you...

Refer to a sage voice of reason here ( Ubercat )...Reading between the lines he denoted that UK seems a bit tough, so when you can hold frame and do some travel...see the sights and sow the old oats in EU lands afar...trust me there are some valuable euro girls....if you are so inclined or disregard this and carry on

 

[Fruitbat]

I always do great with euro girls and always have. British girls are almost out of the question for me.

I have blown off the steam, I am half embarrassed by some of the above.

I think that when you've fvcked up, being reminded of the nature of the SMV system hurts hard, because you realise why you lost. It's like the moment you fail the exam having someone sit down and tell you how your IQ is too low and it's your problem.

I think maybe some trips to E europe are a good idea as the girls there seem much better and easier for decent western men, there is a real fetish for British women my age for tatted gym rats. Product of feminism - we don't need a man for anything but fvcking. That's my analysis. The EE girls I meet actually like a guy who's a bit more old fashioned than me.

I had a UK girl dump me because I said I wanted kids one day. Her friends were like "yeah, you don't SAY that though!"

This is the fickle nature of women here. All my LTRs were not with English girls. I just need to move on in life and get the **** on with it.

To all the posters above, especially Be Exellent, I've sincerely let the butthurt rip and I appreciate the effort to help me, despite me wishing to wallow in it.

It's only a few hours of bytching and this is the end. This weekend is about me moving my life forward, the phone is getting switched off and I am going to work out the plan - and the plan is not to FIND a woman. It is to build a future that a woman might want to share with me, but is not an essential part, they are welcome to join me.

 

[resilient]

Thought this was appropriate:

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely..."

 

[Fruitbat]

Thought this was appropriate:

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely..."

Interesting you say this as I am currently writing a manifesto for the next five months until Christmas.

This is aimed at rooting out the causes of my bad performance here, it will contain some basic principles on how I deal with relationships, but that is only to the extent that it affects the plan - i.e. not allowing them to interfere.

It will be a manifesto of achievement, of personal self worth and identity, values, and becoming, or bringing out, the real man in me which is plagued by self doubt.

I will write it and post to the forum. I will be bound by it. This evening is the start of the rest of my life, and in 5 months you will not know me, not the old me.

I hope eventually I can prove an inspiration to others and also I would love some feedback on what I attempting. It will also be simple enough to remember and also not a huge read.

Be back soon!

 

[BeExcellent]

I tried to lead, she said she wanted to see how things go. She doesn't believe in me, clearly. Sorry to hear you had a rough childhood but given your genetic good fortune, it all worked out. Imagine having that, and being ugly as a dog.....just think about it.

You aren't that far off really. You aren't. You were able to pull this girl. You can probably re-engage her frankly if you give your self a bit to clear your head.

Genetics are great, no doubt, BUT I'm not 22 or 25 anymore. Know why I still weigh the same as I did in college after 3 children and still have a bikini body? Discipline and self-control (If its fattening or a libation I LOVE it, but I CANNOT overindulge...or I would be 200 lbs instead of 120lbs). Consistent lifetime habit of exercise, avoiding too much sun, getting enough sleep, eating clean, dietary discipline, etc.

So yes, genetics are nice, but discipline and self-control are what matter.

This is great news! You have absolute control over your self-discipline and self-control.

Competition for the men I like is routinely 10-25 years younger than I am in addition to all the other women my own age! So what? I am rock solid in who I am, in what I like, I am emotionally stable, self-assured and I know I still have a better body than many women half my age, I am still pretty and have great hair and skin and all that...but I out compete on my intelligence, life experience and wisdom. Men LOVE the idea of someone their own age with that kind of life experience, stability and grounded-ness who is still hot; who is not neurotic; who has her schitt together and who genuinely LOVES the male species. I hear this ALL. THE. TIME. Are the other women better looking, younger or hotter sometimes? Who cares? Who is a better package? That is the more important question and I have serene and supreme confidence that any man is lucky to have me. That attitude comes through everything I do, that is why my screen name is what it is. It is who I am and what I seek and what I stand for. Am I perfect? Hell no. Do I attract everyone I might like to get to know? Hell no. But I am perfectly myself and that has wide appeal.

The above attitude is mad sexy to men. It is also mad sexy to women. Reshape yourself. Cultivate the attitude that YOU ROCK and any woman would be privileged to have a shot with you as you get about your own life.

Men have shelf life too, obviously, but a man's shelf life is much longer than a woman's, typically, if he takes care of himself! This is totally to your advantage!!

I wrote a thread last year that I occasionally bump called "Success Starts Between Your Ears" over in the Wealth & Success forum. Go read it. In there I talk about the mentality required in success. I'm discussing it from a financial standpoint primarily, but correct thinking spills over into every aspect of your life. It becomes who you are and what you are about. That is where you need to work on yourself. There and in the gym a little.

his weekend is about me moving my life forward, the phone is getting switched off and I am going to work out the plan - and the plan is not to FIND a woman. It is to build a future that a woman might want to share with me, but is not an essential part, they are welcome to join me.

This is the right direction. Go in this direction and you are not far off at all. Much closer to your goals than you realize.

You are welcome. I do talk too much at times. Own your value! Go and have a mindful weekend! To your perseverance and your triumph! Cheers!

 

[Fruitbat]

You aren't that far off really. You aren't. You were able to pull this girl. You can probably re-engage her frankly if you give your self a bit to clear your head.

Genetics are great, no doubt, BUT I'm not 22 or 25 anymore. Know why I still weigh the same as I did in college after 3 children and still have a bikini body? Discipline and self-control (If its fattening or a libation I LOVE it, but I CANNOT overindulge...or I would be 200 lbs instead of 120lbs). Consistent lifetime habit of exercise, avoiding too much sun, getting enough sleep, eating clean, dietary discipline, etc.

So yes, genetics are nice, but discipline and self-control are what matter.

This is great news! You have absolute control over your self-discipline and self-control.

Competition for the men I like is routinely 10-25 years younger than I am in addition to all the other women my own age! So what? I am rock solid in who I am, in what I like, I am emotionally stable, self-assured and I know I still have a better body than many women half my age, I am still pretty and have great hair and skin and all that...but I out compete on my intelligence, life experience and wisdom. Men LOVE the idea of someone their own age with that kind of life experience, stability and grounded-ness who is still hot; who is not neurotic; who has her schitt together and who genuinely LOVES the male species. I hear this ALL. THE. TIME. Are the other women better looking, younger or hotter sometimes? Who cares? Who is a better package? That is the more important question and I have serene and supreme confidence that any man is lucky to have me. That attitude comes through everything I do, that is why my screen name is what it is. It is who I am and what I seek and what I stand for. Am I perfect? Hell no. Do I attract everyone I might like to get to know? Hell no. But I am perfectly myself and that has wide appeal.

The above attitude is mad sexy to men. It is also mad sexy to women. Reshape yourself. Cultivate the attitude that YOU ROCK and any woman would be privileged to have a shot with you as you get about your own life.

Men have shelf life too, obviously, but a man's shelf life is much longer than a woman's, typically, if he takes care of himself! This is totally to your advantage!!

I wrote a thread last year that I occasionally bump called "Success Starts Between Your Ears" over in the Wealth & Success forum. Go read it. In there I talk about the mentality required in success. I'm discussing it from a financial standpoint primarily, but correct thinking spills over into every aspect of your life. It becomes who you are and what you are about. That is where you need to work on yourself. There and in the gym a little.



This is the right direction. Go in this direction and you are not far off at all. Much closer to your goals than you realize.

You are welcome. I do talk too much at times. Own your value! Go and have a mindful weekend! To your perseverance and your triumph! Cheers!

It's great to have a non-judgemental woman's perspective. I appreciate your efforts.

I have been succesfull with most things in life, in abject contradiction to the example I had growing up. I have come this far, through so much, to walk away and give up. Not happening. I need to work on the fear of lonelyness, stop seeing a GF as the objective.

I had real confidence in 2013, since then it's left me and I am in a rut of needyness and low self esteem. I have still managed to pull this girl,and others. What the fvck could I achieve with a rock hard will for life again.

I think I had enough for this girl, and others, even better girls, if I just believe a bit more. Even if I lose her, this is the turning point. If I can lose, draw or win with this girl, it doesn't matter. It has brought all this into focus, all this self limiting bullshyt. Why would I get needy again if I have granite objectives and real values to live.

Oh, and you are right, I had a very viable plate and I stopped any interest because she was so low self esteem.....I felt like I was joining a therapy group "Do you like me?" after first date, offering holidays before we met.....I am not anything like that, but the higher woman or man you want, the more this is in focus. Tomorrow, I am a man on a mission. Today I write the mission, and there is no looking back.

"You've been living in a dreamworld, Neo"

Thanks again.

 

[ubercat]

Mate you ve done the work and aren't getting the pay off so of course you're naturally frustrated. It's one of the ironies of life that when we push hard to improve ourselves we become very goal oriented. And that orientation limits our enjoyment of the process. The other thing I've learnt about the game over god help me decades now is that it always brutally holds a mirror up to sticking points in your development.

I think you are actually undervaluing yourself and that is coming across to these girls. You're living the life examined. You've become an accomplished worldly man through your own efforts. You need to learn to enjoy that more. And you need to cultivate a more condescending self amused view of the game. When it comes to mating strategies women are Slaves to their programming. You're a senior DJ relax and enjoy watching them go through their silly tricks.

I certainly don't want to do a tenacity and put all the blame on the market. However I do find UK woman particularly self entitled. Bluntly return-on-investment didn't seem great. Once again amusement is the best response. And they can be useful pawns in your strategy to capture a queen. Mild competition anxiety and dread game has to be part of the mix in female attraction.

I specialise in Asian girls now because I enjoy the base model and culture. I never tell them that every woman tries to tell herself that she is rare and special. Of course with the usual detritus of life any girl who spends 5 minutes in my house will get it. My poor girlfriend has been throwing out articles of feminine clothing in Asian girl sizes for the last year or so.

Which leads me to my next Point. You're of the age and experience now that you should be defining your niches. Certain types of girl will naturally find your style appealing. You should know where to find those girls in numbers and be cultivating hobbies and interests that naturally associate yourself with them. You mentioned the tao so y not a yoga class. If you like say Italian girls why not a yoga class in a heavily Italian area. It's not about immediately pulling girls out of that niche. It's more about naturally atuning yourself that way. You're at the Point now where you should be setting fish traps rather than fishing. You should be using your skills and experience to make the game easier.

In terms of tactics as well you should be now playing to your strengths. In my case I'm good at comfort. Asian girls love comfort and only need a little bit of teasing so I m naturally aligned with my target market. Perhaps you're the other way and love busting their chops and making Sparks. In which case maybe Italian or South American or Vietnamese girls would be a good fit.

And when you've made your calls back yourself. I sometimes get paid out here for specialising inthe rice pie. Guys say Asian girls are easy and it's like admitting defeat. Funny when my girlfriend works all day comes over and models the new lingerie she bought specially for me, cooks me dinner and polishes my rocket I don't feel particularly defeated.

Be excellent has made some good points about the market. But I wouldn't worry about any of that. I think your instincts are correct you've got more than enough value to put on the table. Now it's a case of choosing the right table.

It's always darkest before dawn. Development is a staircase. The pain you're feeling is you pushing yourself to another level. It may not feel that way but believe me it's good pain.

 

[Fruitbat]

Mate you ve done the work and aren't getting the pay off so of course you're naturally frustrated. It's one of the ironies of life that when we push hard to improve ourselves we become very goal oriented. And that orientation limits our enjoyment of the process. The other thing I've learnt about the game over god help me decades now is that it always brutally holds a mirror up to sticking points in your development.

I think you are actually undervaluing yourself and that is coming across to these girls. You're living the life examined. You've become an accomplished worldly man through your own efforts. You need to learn to enjoy that more. And you need to cultivate a more condescending self amused view of the game. When it comes to mating strategies women are Slaves to their programming. You're a senior DJ relax and enjoy watching them go through their silly tricks.

I certainly don't want to do a tenacity and put all the blame on the market. However I do find UK woman particularly self entitled. Bluntly return-on-investment didn't seem great. Once again amusement is the best response. And they can be useful pawns in your strategy to capture a queen. Mild competition anxiety and dread game has to be part of the mix in female attraction.

I specialise in Asian girls now because I enjoy the base model and culture. I never tell them that every woman tries to tell herself that she is rare and special. Of course with the usual detritus of life any girl who spends 5 minutes in my house will get it. My poor girlfriend has been throwing out articles of feminine clothing in Asian girl sizes for the last year or so.

Which leads me to my next Point. You're of the age and experience now that you should be defining your niches. Certain types of girl will naturally find your style appealing. You should know where to find those girls in numbers and be cultivating hobbies and interests that naturally associate yourself with them. You mentioned the tao so y not a yoga class. If you like say Italian girls why not a yoga class in a heavily Italian area. It's not about immediately pulling girls out of that niche. It's more about naturally atuning yourself that way. You're at the Point now where you should be setting fish traps rather than fishing. You should be using your skills and experience to make the game easier.

In terms of tactics as well you should be now playing to your strengths. In my case I'm good at comfort. Asian girls love comfort and only need a little bit of teasing so I m naturally aligned with my target market. Perhaps you're the other way and love busting their chops and making Sparks. In which case maybe Italian or South American or Vietnamese girls would be a good fit.

And when you've made your calls back yourself. I sometimes get paid out here for specialising inthe rice pie. Guys say Asian girls are easy and it's like admitting defeat. Funny when my girlfriend works all day comes over and models the new lingerie she bought specially for me, cooks me dinner and polishes my rocket I don't feel particularly defeated.

Be excellent has made some good points about the market. But I wouldn't worry about any of that. I think your instincts are correct you've got more than enough value to put on the table. Now it's a case of choosing the right table.

It's always darkest before dawn. Development is a staircase. The pain you're feeling is you pushing yourself to another level. It may not feel that way but believe me it's good pain.

I feel like a million dollars this morning. I was living in a world thinking about plates last week, life is much easier thinking about life

There is still the odd sinking sensation that she is being railed by some dude.....as soon as I am humping a girl, the caveman takes over and it's natural and normal, for me, to get a bit jel.

There are few places where the eastern europeans *my type" hang out. I speak Russian so I am massively high value with them, but few of them here, and most come here with their BF. Few asians, this is the UK, you need to bring one home if you get one.

I couldn't give a shyt about what people would think of that- most of my mates have big earning UK women and from personal discussions when drunk, they have terrible sex lives, they are full of their own ego and I doubt they would let themselves be treated as sluts should. When I tell them that I will prob go for a EE or Asian, you should see their hamster go.....NO, that's defeat. Bollocks. For the reasons you state, they've bought an idea which didn't work out.

The biggest shift I have had in this whole car crash of a thread is that I am approaching as "I must do x, y z etc to get her". Now, I called her out, she played her hand, so I am not folding but I am checking. I don't feel the need to raise. I lost frame when I felt weak and all my other plates were out of town.

Most of the above anger is because I was REJECTED. It's nothing more than that, a temporary loss in frame. It;s not about me, or her, it's because I lost a little battle, and I do not cope well with jealousy.

Plus, before this happened she witheld sex randomly, went home, and I wouldn't see her for weeks. So, I thought fvck it, let's see where she is. One week of feeling pissed off, and I am back in the game, new game, self game. Not chasing skirt like some kvnt!!

 

[Fruitbat]

Funnily enough, I had a dream last night about 3 girls (my 3 plates? They were different but the symbology is there)

Two were well interested in me and at one point I was making out with 2 of them at the same time, one on each arm, like the Fonz!

The other one, I believe she represented this plate, was texting me annoying shyt from across the room. She was ugly as hell. The other 2 were hot sluts.

Woke up in a brilliant mood, I thanked my brain for the "threesome" - not sex but it sure made me feel good!

This is all tied in to wanting a woman who really wants me. Why the fook am I investing thought and emotion into a woman who isn't doing it back? If I want that I will just hire an escort!

Rocking dream, they weren't the hottest but slvtty. Great production, fruitbat brain, 5 stars.

 

[Fruitbat]

Thought this was appropriate:

"If you make yourself more than just a man, if you devote yourself to an ideal, and if they can't stop you, then you become something else entirely..."

I fvkcing love this

 

[Çharismo]

Hey man, if I were you I wouldn't worry about finding a woman let alone being with a woman just yet. Again it's easy for me to throw out some generic advice or for anyone on this website and you have gotten a lot of helpful advice but at the end of the day YOU have to take initiative. You have to take
ACT-ion hence the word ACT. Always remember that you are in charge of your life and that 96% to 98% of the time we have no control over anything let alone anyone else for that matter. We are such a minuscule part of the world and are completely irrelevant that you won't even believe it , so the best thing to do is to literally make the best life possible for yourself to the best of your ability with the time you have left. Try to be the best version of yourself and always work to move forward.

Everyone has made some of the mistakes you have and trust me when I tell you this it's not easy to handle rejection but what you have to focus on is to learn from them...THAT is where the growth happens. If you don't learn from your mistakes than you won't ever get out of the rut you are in. From my point of view you have some serious self-esteem issues but the good thing is that you have taken a step forward by coming to terms with it. Acknowledge that you need to work on yourself and sort out your issues. Think about it like this -- would you like to be with a woman that was like you? I mean really think about it. Would you want to spend time with someone like you?

You also mentioned that you always come out and reveal the worst things about yourself to women...think about why you feel the need to do that? Are you trying to have a pity-party? or maybe you have some sort of a victim-mentality?. You should talk about everything and anything under the sun except all the worse things about you because if you expect a woman to come rescue you...it's not going to happen. The reason I ask you these tough questions is to get you to focus more one how you are approaching conversations, topics, subjects...etc with women. You are basically shooting yourself in the foot every-time you do or say something to bring yourself down. You need a healthy level of self-esteem in order to be with the right person believe it or not...man and or woman.

Another reason I bring this up is that I also made a mistake like that a long time ago where I blurted out something from my past and long story short when things went bad the girl used that information to trash me behind my back and revealed that ugliness to other people. Since then I learned not to get into discussions like that or reveal things of that nature until I've known the person for a good while . Other than that we all want you to do good and be successful but you really have to reprogram your mind and develop yourself as a man a little bit more before you ask for a commitment.

Wish you all the success in the world my man!!!!

 

[Fruitbat]

Hey man, if I were you I wouldn't worry about finding a woman let alone being with a woman just yet. Again it's easy for me to throw out some generic advice or for anyone on this website and you have gotten a lot of helpful advice but at the end of the day YOU have to take initiative. You have to take
ACT-ion hence the word ACT. Always remember that you are in charge of your life and that 96% to 98% of the time we have no control over anything let alone anyone else for that matter. We are such a minuscule part of the world and are completely irrelevant that you won't even believe it , so the best thing to do is to literally make the best life possible for yourself to the best of your ability with the time you have left. Try to be the best version of yourself and always work to move forward.

Everyone has made some of the mistakes you have and trust me when I tell you this it's not easy to handle rejection but what you have to focus on is to learn from them...THAT is where the growth happens. If you don't learn from your mistakes than you won't ever get out of the rut you are in. From my point of view you have some serious self-esteem issues but the good thing is that you have taken a step forward by coming to terms with it. Acknowledge that you need to work on yourself and sort out your issues. Think about it like this -- would you like to be with a woman that was like you? I mean really think about it. Would you want to spend time with someone like you?

You also mentioned that you always come out and reveal the worst things about yourself to women...think about why you feel the need to do that? Are you trying to have a pity-party? or maybe you have some sort of a victim-mentality?. You should talk about everything and anything under the sun except all the worse things about you because if you expect a woman to come rescue you...it's not going to happen. The reason I ask you these tough questions is to get you to focus more one how you are approaching conversations, topics, subjects...etc with women. You are basically shooting yourself in the foot every-time you do or say something to bring yourself down. You need a healthy level of self-esteem in order to be with the right person believe it or not...man and or woman.

Another reason I bring this up is that I also made a mistake like that a long time ago where I blurted out something from my past and long story short when things went bad the girl used that information to trash me behind my back and revealed that ugliness to other people. Since then I learned not to get into discussions like that or reveal things of that nature until I've known the person for a good while . Other than that we all want you to do good and be successful but you really have to reprogram your mind and develop yourself as a man a little bit more before you ask for a commitment.

Wish you all the success in the world my man!!!!

It's almost my shyt test for women. If they can accept me, warts and all, then she is the right girl. I am through with trying to "play" matters. I am who I am, and as far as I am concerned, if she doesn't like it, she can join the Next pile. Plenty morewhere she came from.

 

[LJBFB]

Keep in mind also... she has become what you prefer because she probably was dating someone else with your traits who dgaf, as opposed to some innate or organic process. She likely assimilated those traits from him for approval, rather than some self-improvement quest or true introspection. That is some irony in seeing it all come full circle. Glad you've accepted reality instead of chasing.

 

[Fruitbat]

Almost a week now and NC both ways. I offered her time last week and got no counter offer.....I'm trying HARD not to contact her. I feel the desparation returning, regardless of the new mindset.

I have part which says I need to act as if nothing happened, but the facts are, I offered excl, I got turned down, I offered a date, I got no counter offer. Coming back with pointless texting is weak, yet then I think is going NC butthurt.

Other plates just aren't the same. I can't shake this for now, but all I can think is, the truth is she can find me if she wants me. I've offered a lot......she always said we would see each other again and discuss then, yet my phone is dead.

It was being keen which caused this....just need to realise more of the same will not help....yet I feel with each day we don't speak, the connection grows weaker.

Be ex said to grab balls and ask out, yet I've done this.....I will be in orbit if I pursue following this.

So hard to keep internal frame but if I go pursue again, I feel nothing good can come of it. It's just easier to say than do.

I guess I am wondering if dropping contact was a bad move. We were going great before I pushed matters.....so I'm in a world of worry now, I'm on a new path but oneitus is a bytch.

 

[CMNILS87]

Almost a week now and NC both ways. I offered her time last week and got no counter offer.....I'm trying HARD not to contact her. I feel the desparation returning, regardless of the new mindset.

I have part which says I need to act as if nothing happened, but the facts are, I offered excl, I got turned down, I offered a date, I got no counter offer. Coming back with pointless texting is weak, yet then I think is going NC butthurt.

Other plates just aren't the same. I can't shake this for now, but all I can think is, the truth is she can find me if she wants me. I've offered a lot......she always said we would see each other again and discuss then, yet my phone is dead.

It was being keen which caused this....just need to realise more of the same will not help....yet I feel with each day we don't speak, the connection grows weaker.

Be ex said to grab balls and ask out, yet I've done this.....I will be in orbit if I pursue following this.

So hard to keep internal frame but if I go pursue again, I feel nothing good can come of it. It's just easier to say than do.

I guess I am wondering if dropping contact was a bad move. We were going great before I pushed matters.....so I'm in a world of worry now, I'm on a new path but oneitus is a bytch.

pics, i need to see what youre so butt hurt over, because if this chick isnt a 7 on the Richter Scale, idk why you're so scared of NC. You either dont have enough plates, not enough to do, or you have severe oneitis.

PSA: Shes riding another dudes wiener, its not yours.

 

[Fruitbat]

pics, i need to see what youre so butt hurt over, because if this chick isnt a 7 on the Richter Scale, idk why you're so scared of NC. You either dont have enough plates, not enough to do, or you have severe oneitis.

PSA: Shes riding another dudes wiener, its not yours.

Can you understand the concept of actually liking someone as an individual as opposed to purely looks-based assessment?

This is what is killing me, I have better looking plates.

 

[Fruitbat]

HAHA did something good. called out and got dumped. She was brutal about it too.

In a way, I am so glad this is over. Time to move on.

 

[CMNILS87]

Can you understand the concept of actually liking someone as an individual as opposed to purely looks-based assessment?

This is what is killing me, I have better looking plates.

Dude you got oneitis. I've been dating my girl a year now, great sex, she's super smart, 8/10 body. If it ended tomorrow. I'd be bummed about a week, but then I'd move on. You're stuck inside dream world going over conversations and it's the worst thing to do.