Advice on this text

[dustmuffin]

I tried to verify a date today. I sent a text remember to wear something sexy. She replied that she hadn't heard from me all week and made other plans with her kids. She replied immediately.

 

[EyeBRollin]

I tried to verify a date today. I sent a text remember to wear something sexy. She replied that she hadn't heard from me all week and made other plans with her kids. She replied immediately.

Next.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I tried to verify a date today. I sent a text remember to wear something sexy. She replied that she hadn't heard from me all week and made other plans with her kids. She replied immediately.

Neeeext one. She could have contacted you if she was interested. If she replied immediately she might be interested and this could be a comfort-test to try and smell beta out of you, as I'm assuming she's on the old side of the spectrum and she might be hunting for a husband. Not worth the headache in my opinion, since you have no problems getting other women.

 

[pyros]

1 Never set a date more than 2 days in advance.
2 You could have sent her a text during the week to show some interest.
3 I wouldn't next her because it is your fault.

 

[wifehunter]

walk

 

[dustmuffin]

Neeeext one. She could have contacted you if she was interested. If she replied immediately she might be interested and this could be a comfort-test to try and smell beta out of you, as I'm assuming she's on the old side of the spectrum and she might be hunting for a husband. Not worth the headache in my opinion, since you have no problems getting other women.

She is 45. We had a great first date. I did the mid date kiss and she was all over me after that. This proves that you can have a fantastic first date and she will still flake. I thought she was in the bag. Oh well I will enjoy my evening tonight. I need to concentrate on exercise I would like to f ucjk her but I don't think it's worth the effort.

 

[dustmuffin]

1 Never set a date more than 2 days in advance.
2 You could have sent her a text during the week to show some interest.
3 I wouldn't next her because it is your fault.

What would you suggest for a return text?

 

[Slash Dolo]

I wouldn't next her immediately. Try to schedule something else but yeah, don't make plans so far ahead of time.

 

[wifehunter]

she's testing you to see how you'll react.

 

[dustmuffin]

I texted her and told her np. That we had good chemistry and Have a good time with your kids. She replied that she was going to see dory and since she hadn't heard from me she thought I moved on. I replied that I wasn't a big texter and that when I said I would do something I do it. I asked if she would like to try it again on wednesday. She said yes. I didn't apologize for my actions. nnor did I back pedal. She apologized several times but that is what women do.

Thoughts please? I probably made a mistake but I'm still learning and that is what is all about.

 

[BeExcellent]

Your response is fine. I'm like you, if I make plans I expect to attend them & I've had guys set something as far in advance as 2 weeks, which I keep. I mean how hard is setting a calendar alert...

Granted life can happen while we're making plans, and people could meet someone they prefer at any time so...

She's experienced and may expect an occasional touch base text so she knows you didn't blow her off; and let's face it a touch base text takes all of 30 seconds and lets her know you didn't forget about her, especially if she needs to hire a sitter or make other babysitting arrangements to accommodate a date. Few things are more annoying than paying a sitter or going to other preparations and not being sure your date will show up. So a confirmation of some sort can be a good thing and is not a "beta" move.

Just say "Hope you are having a good week, see ya Sat" or if you think that's weak then "Headed to a meeting, hope you're having a good week".

Neither of those communications take any time at all, they don't invite a response (if she gives one fine but don't get into long convos), and either one keeps her advised she is on the radar.

You have been at this long enough to know that
women with kids are not as untethered as childless women, people are flaky, and a text such as the examples I gave are not "beta" in any way.

Sometimes a guy with lots of options puts off the player vibe (which good for you - you have many options and a robust dating calendar), and 1. women either want to compete for a man like that, or 2. are put off by it, or 3. at least understand it so they don't over invest/have expectations beyond what you do.

She sounds like she is #3 (which is the most pragmatic mindset), but that she does like you.

So no harm no foul. See her Weds (Send her a sh!tty funny text Tuesday afternoon that says "Hey you...you have a date tomorrow BTW") I think that keeps her anticipating things and keeps it light, and busts her chops just a bit too.

Good text game is light, fun & sparse, but it does also let her know you didn't evaporate.

Sorry so long! Cheers!

 

[dustmuffin]

Your response is fine. I'm like you, if I make plans I expect to attend them & I've had guys set something as far in advance as 2 weeks, which I keep. I mean how hard is setting a calendar alert...

Granted life can happen while we're making plans, and people could meet someone they prefer at any time so...

She's experienced and may expect an occasional touch base text so she knows you didn't blow her off; and let's face it a touch base text takes all of 30 seconds and lets her know you didn't forget about her, especially if she needs to hire a sitter or make other babysitting arrangements to accommodate a date. Few things are more annoying than paying a sitter or going to other preparations and not being sure your date will show up. So a confirmation of some sort can be a good thing and is not a "beta" move.

Just say "Hope you are having a good week, see ya Sat" or if you think that's weak then "Headed to a meeting, hope you're having a good week".

Neither of those communications take any time at all, they don't invite a response (if she gives one fine but don't get into long convos), and either one keeps her advised she is on the radar.

You have been at this long enough to know that
women with kids are not as untethered as childless women, people are flaky, and a text such as the examples I gave are not "beta" in any way.

Sometimes a guy with lots of options puts off the player vibe (which good for you - you have many options and a robust dating calendar), and 1. women either want to compete for a man like that, or 2. are put off by it, or 3. at least understand it so they don't over invest/have expectations beyond what you do.

She sounds like she is #3 (which is the most pragmatic mindset), but that she does like you.

So no harm no foul. See her Weds (Send her a sh!tty funny text Tuesday afternoon that says "Hey you...you have a date tomorrow BTW") I think that keeps her anticipating things and keeps it light, and busts her chops just a bit too.

Good text game is light, fun & sparse, but it does also let her know you didn't evaporate.

Sorry so long! Cheers!

think she understands it. I called her by the wrong name when trying to set up the first date. She didn't get pissed like a lot of women would. She said that she understood that she wasn't the only woman I was talking to. I made light of it and flirted with her. It worked out well.

I'm texting her now flirting back and forth. Thank you for your response.

 

[JohnChops]

I tried to verify a date today. I sent a text remember to wear something sexy. She replied that she hadn't heard from me all week and made other plans with her kids. She replied immediately.

had a girl do this to me, nexted her., Low interest unfortunately.

 

[EyeBRollin]

1 Never set a date more than 2 days in advance.
2 You could have sent her a text during the week to show some interest.
3 I wouldn't next her because it is your fault.

1. Not true at all. It depends on your schedule, and her schedule. Women make plans in advance as well.
2. Why? Initiating via phone is unnecessary if a date is scheduled.
3. It's not his fault. She just wasn't that interested.

 

[VladPatton]

Put her on the back burner for a few weeks. About a month or so. See if she hits you up. If she doesn't, she's got a few orbiters to keep busy with and you're not exactly in the high priority loop. Bye, Felicia!

 

[Trump]

She is 45. We had a great first date. I did the mid date kiss and she was all over me after that. This proves that you can have a fantastic first date and she will still flake. I thought she was in the bag. Oh well I will enjoy my evening tonight. I need to concentrate on exercise I would like to f ucjk her but I don't think it's worth the effort.

Why are you messing around with 45 year old divorced/single women with kids? That is like the absolute worst combination for a female. Mid 40s where looks are likely down the drain, has offspring, and needs a provider.

A woman like that you sleep with in a few hours and move on. You want anything more than that you are asking for trouble.

 

[Yewki]

1 Never set a date more than 2 days in advance.
2 You could have sent her a text during the week to show some interest.
3 I wouldn't next her because it is your fault.

Agreed he should have tried to schedule something not as far out, but... let's be real here she f*cked up. She agreed to do something, then just changed her plans without saying anything. If she was concerned the OP wasn't going, it's on her to contact him not the other way around. He shouldn't be expected to read her mind

Dustmuffin I think you handled it well. I personally wouldn't have offered to reschedule though as I would have lost interest, but that's me

 

[ubercat]

45 year old woman with kids is going to have some insecurity dating if she's been out there much and it sounds like she has. So it sounds like she needs an occasional touch text just to say hi. Level of comfort required differs from girl to girl so I don't think it's a big deal. I get a lot more annoyed when they want to spend all week texting and then blow you off because you won't stroke their ego.

And still doing solo mummies at your age. Mate you are relentless. Oh well they are an infinitely renewable resource. At least you are dating sustainably ;-)

 

[dustmuffin]

I had six dates scheduled last and this week. The girls have to get in line. Just three left out of this bunch.

First date tonight. Girl I have been seeing wants to grill rieyes for me tuesday. Wednesday I have flaked from sunday. That's a second date.

Thanks guys for the replies

 

[skinnyguy]

If you post about "some woman" you're dating that means you lack abundance and need to change your mindset.