Advice on Sex

[DJinTraining06]

also, can you please admit that this is the first girl that showed you interest and you JUMPED into a relationship with her, and you were not gaming other girls at all!! CAN YOU PLEASE ADMIT THAT SO THAT EVERYONE CAN SEE YOUR CURRENT SITUATION CLEARLY??

If that was true i'd admit that lol. I had a 1 year relationship a few yrs back and some short lived ones after that. I went on a whole bunch of dates since we broke up mostly from match.com and several of them showed interest and wnated to see me more. I turned a few down cuz i wanst feelin them, and at least 2 or 3 of them that actually were as cute as their pics I did see more than once cuz i liked them. 2 of them didnt work out. one of them i kidna liked, but then i met my current girlfriend and was crazy about her so i told the other girl i met someone else, she was actually bummed about it and she was cute so turst me i had options and still do im a good looking guy from wat i hear. I am also far pickier than u can imagine, which is understandable cuz u cant really know who i am from a message board. I loved her personality when we met and still do aside from some recent minor things. Plus i think shes hot shes got D's and shes very cute. The sex thing i dont see as related to her personality i see it as a problem with her not being attracted to me, or one of any number of thigns that i cannot put my finger on. So i dont think u seem to get where im coming from we have a great relationship when it comes to everythign but sex. So that's why im so upset over this. The two things r seprate to me till i fugure out wat the realk reason is for lack of sex. I think my venting also makes u think things r worse then they r, i just vent alot cuz its a comfortable place to do so cuz none of u know me and this should never get out to anyone i actully do know.

U have it in ur head for some reason that this is the first giirl ever for me and thats why im with her, u cant just make those asusmptions man.

 

[The Logical Player]

ok i wont make those assumptions, but it is still clear you are not experienced enough to be in a relationship, because if you were, you would know better than to stick around with this C*NT (yea, she is, sorry to break it to ya).

read my advice in this thread

 

[DJinTraining06]

ok i wont make those assumptions, but it is still clear you are not experienced enough to be in a relationship, because if you were, you would know better than to stick around with this C*NT (yea, she is, sorry to break it to ya).

read my advice in this thread

alright wait a sec what r u basing calling her a cvnt on? Just the sex thing? Cuz there is nothing else major that she does and she's basically very nice to me. I mean this as a serious question, do u think just that she doesn't give me any more than once a week makes her a cvnt? I mentioned a couple of other small thigns that were bothering me a lil but they were tiny and i wouldnt have even been thinking bout them if i wasnt ticked to begin with over the sex thing.

 

[The Logical Player]

you are a blind AFC and she is a c*unt - a match made in heaven. You don't even listen to people's advice here, so why do you post here?

In the rare case that you DO read this and follow my advice, I will tell you why she is a c*nt:

1) she is dragging a relationship out of you despite having lost all attraction to you (no sex = no attraction), in other words she is using you and walking all over you because you are a doormat and you let her, she knows shes safe with you because you are a blind AFC who is spineless.

2) she is cheating on you (she's getting sex somewhere, that's why she's always so tired).

3) She is trying to trap you into possibly getting married soon, despite the fact taht you have NO BUSINESS getting married to her, she still wants to trap you and take 1/2 your shyt.

4) She does not respect you, all of this I can gather from your threads over the last 2 years about this c*nt.

5) She is making your life miserable and she does not care a bit about it

she's a C*NT, so instead of making a comeback DJInTraining, how bout you just do THE RIGHT THING AND DUMP THAT C*NT

 

[DJinTraining06]

you are a blind AFC and she is a c*unt - a match made in heaven. You don't even listen to people's advice here, so why do you post here?

In the rare case that you DO read this and follow my advice, I will tell you why she is a c*nt:

1) she is dragging a relationship out of you despite having lost all attraction to you (no sex = no attraction), in other words she is using you and walking all over you because you are a doormat and you let her, she knows shes safe with you because you are a blind AFC who is spineless.

2) she is cheating on you (she's getting sex somewhere, that's why she's always so tired).

3) She is trying to trap you into possibly getting married soon, despite the fact taht you have NO BUSINESS getting married to her, she still wants to trap you and take 1/2 your shyt.

4) She does not respect you, all of this I can gather from your threads over the last 2 years about this c*nt.

5) She is making your life miserable and she does not care a bit about it

she's a C*NT, so instead of making a comeback DJInTraining, how bout you just do THE RIGHT THING AND DUMP THAT C*NT

Again i say whatever i post on here is just me venting cuz its a safe place to do so. So im not even sure what other thigns ur referring to that she did to treat me like sh*t but I assure u they weren't major. Don't all couples go thru fights, becuase people arent perfect? I'm sure i've been a d*ck at times to her as well, that's just natural. If u love each other u get thru it, if u dont the fighting becomes to much and u break up, follow me so far?

Ok so i started a thread about sex. It was meant to be jsut about sex and how im not getting it anymore. But u keep making out to be more, as if shes disrespecting me in so many other horrible ways. I assure u shes not. This is just about the sex. Now beleive it or not i actually agree with u on most of ur last post. Not the spineless part tho cuz i don't take sh*t. I love her and want to make it work and thats why i havent dumped her yet, not cuz im a doormat. But believe me the thoughts corssed my mind and continues to be a dilemma in my head. I have a weird gut feeling that she's cheating or at least wants to but when i use logic it doesnt seem possible based on wat information ive gathered from talking and slight spying on her phone, computer, and pockets. Maybe she did cheat but isn't anymore and thats why i cant find any evidence. Who knows, all i know is it would be pretty impossible at this time for me not to know, at leats in the past few months that is. Before that i wasnt paying much attention. Now i ask her questions, i check her texts and calls, soemtimes her emial, and i look at her stuff a lil. Not in a crazy way, but im jsut keeping my eye on stuff and i dont see it being possible, she is always in bed when i get home from work and i usually find proof of some sort (liike receipts or texts from her firend) that prove she was where she says she was. I cant dump her for that reason cuz wat if im wrong. But i do get a weird feeling. I remember how it was with my ex gf(who im not sure but pretty sure she was cheating, cuz she was with a guy the day after we broke up) The last few times we had sex she had this same troubled almost sad look on her face and i recently started noticing that with my girl. Lately the face hasnt been there (laterly meaning the once a week sex on the weekend) So i dunno its a mystery to me.

Fine call me AFC, i have been cold and curt with her for 4 days now. Sat night when she turned me down and said she had to go to bed at 11 pm was my last straw. I've decided until i get sex at least twice a week on average with an occcasional week of 3 times, and a bj at least once a month since i go down on her all the time, until i get these 2 things and for a consisitent amount of time to prove to me its for real, then i will dump her. So i'm giving this another month or two.

 

[piranha45]

Ok so i started a thread about sex. It was meant to be jsut about sex and how im not getting it anymore. But u keep making out to be more, as if shes disrespecting me in so many other horrible ways. I assure u shes not. This is just about the sex. Now beleive it or not i actually agree with u on most of ur last post. Not the spineless part tho cuz i don't take sh*t. I love her and want to make it work and thats why i havent dumped her yet, not cuz im a doormat. But believe me the thoughts corssed my mind and continues to be a dilemma in my head. I have a weird gut feeling that she's cheating or at least wants to but when i use logic it doesnt seem possible based on wat information ive gathered from talking and slight spying on her phone, computer, and pockets. Maybe she did cheat but isn't anymore and thats why i cant find any evidence. Who knows, all i know is it would be pretty impossible at this time for me not to know, at leats in the past few months that is. Before that i wasnt paying much attention. Now i ask her questions, i check her texts and calls, soemtimes her emial, and i look at her stuff a lil. Not in a crazy way, but im jsut keeping my eye on stuff and i dont see it being possible, she is always in bed when i get home from work and i usually find proof of some sort (liike receipts or texts from her firend) that prove she was where she says she was. I cant dump her for that reason cuz wat if im wrong. But i do get a weird feeling. I remember how it was with my ex gf(who im not sure but pretty sure she was cheating, cuz she was with a guy the day after we broke up) The last few times we had sex she had this same troubled almost sad look on her face and i recently started noticing that with my girl. Lately the face hasnt been there (laterly meaning the once a week sex on the weekend) So i dunno its a mystery to me.

I was originally going to just bold the parts that were exceptionally AFC actions on your part. Then I realized I'd have to bold the entire paragraph. Your actions and thought processes just REEK of AFCism. You have turned into a COMPLETE AFC. And THIS is why you are not getting any sex; she is not attracted to you anymore!!! As others have pointed out, the lack of sex demonstrates there is a huge problem with the entire relationship. And this is almost certainly why your last gf cheated on you. If a woman's bf stops being a man then she's going to find another.

You are acting needy and supplicative toward her, which has eroded her interest in you. You admit your emotional bond with her is very strong. And you are DENYING that there is anything wrong with your relationship besides the sex. But the lack of sex tells everything! Your relationship with her is a shipwreck.

If you have any interest at all in your self-preservation and self-improvement as a man, you'd better take the advice you've been given seriously.

You might have good short-term game, but your inner long-term game is complete garbage and will remain so until you enlighten yourself and put it into action. Read posts by Rollo Tomassi, he specializes in that area.

 

[DJinTraining06]

I was originally going to just bold the parts that were exceptionally AFC actions on your part. Then I realized I'd have to bold the entire paragraph. Your actions and thought processes just REEK of AFCism. You have turned into a COMPLETE AFC. And THIS is why you are not getting any sex; she is not attracted to you anymore!!! As others have pointed out, the lack of sex demonstrates there is a huge problem with the entire relationship. And this is almost certainly why your last gf cheated on you. If a woman's bf stops being a man then she's going to find another.

You are acting needy and supplicative toward her, which has eroded her interest in you. You admit your emotional bond with her is very strong. And you are DENYING that there is anything wrong with your relationship besides the sex. But the lack of sex tells everything! Your relationship with her is a shipwreck.

If you have any interest at all in your self-preservation and self-improvement as a man, you'd better take the advice you've been given seriously.

You might have good short-term game, but your inner long-term game is complete garbage and will remain so until you enlighten yourself and put it into action. Read posts by Rollo Tomassi, he specializes in that area.

i know i know, its not an easy thing to do i been with her 2 yrs. By the way she was jsut tesxitng and everytime i went near the couch she held it to her body to hide it. Like 3 times and she jumped. I asked her who seh was talkin to a few mins later and she thoguh i meant wat r u doijn on the computer which she was also using at that time. Eventually the texting stopped and she borught the phone to the bathroom with her. Now im very curious wats goin on. I gotta see that phone before i leave for work, knowing her tho she delted it and hid her tracks right away.

 

[DJinTraining06]

i know i know, its not an easy thing to do i been with her 2 yrs. By the way she was jsut tesxitng and everytime i went near the couch she held it to her body to hide it. Like 3 times and she jumped. I asked her who seh was talkin to a few mins later and she thoguh i meant wat r u doijn on the computer which she was also using at that time. Eventually the texting stopped and she borught the phone to the bathroom with her. Now im very curious wats goin on. I gotta see that phone before i leave for work, knowing her tho she delted it and hid her tracks right away.

Ok so she just went out to the store so i never got to see her phone she took with her tot the bathroom and then she went to the store and i had no chance to see it. She told me she was texting her friend who shes goin out to dinner with tonite. Just a few secs ago she changed her mind and said she doenst really feel like it and doesnt wanna spend the money so she prob wont go. Im working and wont be home till 9:30pm. so who knows wat she is up to, but i think its really weiord that she takes her phone in the bathroom with her. Not always but she does it often and this jumping when i come near her and hiding her ophonen is new. WQhen she took it with her to the bathroom she wasnt even fully dressed to go ut yet and wanst texting anyone for like 30 mins before that so thats wat makes it even more ssusicious. I could see if she was talkin to someoine and wanted to get there next text while take a sh*t or soemthing.

 

[piranha45]

how pathetic of you to care. how insecure of you to want to know what's on the phone. how disgusting it is to watch you ignore the voices of reason.

you're not a dj in training, thats for damn sure.

Why would she be trying to sneak around you, anyway? Because SHE HATES YOU, YOU ****ING LOSER. By the time you two break up she'll be saying that to your face, and it'll be completely justified.

This isn't her fault, its yours. Regardless of whether she's cheating already, about to cheat, or thinking of cheating, she's out to get a better man than you, and judging from the way you post here, that's not going to be hard.

 

[The Logical Player]

You have the green light to cheat since she has left you with no other option to keep your sanity - she did not say she's cool with you cheating, but she has damn sure showed you that she's checked out of this relationship

Start seeing other girls, have sex with them, don't tell your guuuurlfriend this, in fact don't even pay any attention to her - in your eyes she is just a roomate that helps you pay the bills, nothing more, nothing less. The funny thing will be, that once she starts to think you are getting sex somewhere else, she'll be jumpin your bones trying to earn attention with sex. This means, you go out, spend the night at with every new girl that you have sex with at HER place, and you are to be 100% indifferent towards your "guuuurlfriend" - let her call, ask where you are, ect ect ect, you just ignore it all, and pretend nothing happened. When she confronts you when you come back home, just pretend nothing happened and you don't care, because after all, she IS just your roomate who is helping you pay the bills. Continue to do this, also make sure to not have anymore feelings for this b1tch, and you will be leading a happy lifestyle despite getting yourself into this mess - YOU ARE WELCOME


and if you come back with "oh well I am too moral to cheat", then I will reach through the computer and beat the morality out of your chump ass you FOOL.

 

[DJinTraining06]

You have the green light to cheat since she has left you with no other option to keep your sanity - she did not say she's cool with you cheating, but she has damn sure showed you that she's checked out of this relationship

Start seeing other girls, have sex with them, don't tell your guuuurlfriend this, in fact don't even pay any attention to her - in your eyes she is just a roomate that helps you pay the bills, nothing more, nothing less. The funny thing will be, that once she starts to think you are getting sex somewhere else, she'll be jumpin your bones trying to earn attention with sex. This means, you go out, spend the night at with every new girl that you have sex with at HER place, and you are to be 100% indifferent towards your "guuuurlfriend" - let her call, ask where you are, ect ect ect, you just ignore it all, and pretend nothing happened. When she confronts you when you come back home, just pretend nothing happened and you don't care, because after all, she IS just your roomate who is helping you pay the bills. Continue to do this, also make sure to not have anymore feelings for this b1tch, and you will be leading a happy lifestyle despite getting yourself into this mess - YOU ARE WELCOME


and if you come back with "oh well I am too moral to cheat", then I will reach through the computer and beat the morality out of your chump ass you FOOL.

Im not too moral to cheat if i know for a fact she's cheating. But since I have serious doubts still I will not cheat. Believe me if i ever get proof that shes is, i would kick her out so fast and demand a months rent plus an extra months rent for breaking the lease. i would then move into a smaller cheaper studio aprartment that i could afford on my own and get on with my life believe me. She's already getting worried about my aloofness toward her. Right before i left for work this afternoon she came over and hugged me and said dont go to work today stay home with me jokin and all sweet like, and kissed me. She never does that anymore, that was something she really has not done at all since we moved in. And how did i react, i kissed her back, a quick peck and gave a quick smile then was real serious and said oh well ill see ya later and just walked out the door. Then when i got home she stayed up till 10:00 which for her is like 1 am. And she was unusually nice to me, and i was just aloof again. not mean at all just cold enuff to keep her on her toes. See my prob as an earlier poster stated above is that i have decent short term game but no long term game at all. The thing is i didnt think u needed to have game once ur with the girl u think is the one. i thought then the game ends and u can be comfortable and be urself the rest of ur life. But guess i was wrong. If i do stay with this girl im gonna always keep her on her toes, worried and wodnering bout me. This is of course if she is giving it up siginificantly more.

 

[DJinTraining06]

how pathetic of you to care. how insecure of you to want to know what's on the phone. how disgusting it is to watch you ignore the voices of reason.

you're not a dj in training, thats for damn sure.

Why would she be trying to sneak around you, anyway? Because SHE HATES YOU, YOU ****ING LOSER. By the time you two break up she'll be saying that to your face, and it'll be completely justified.

This isn't her fault, its yours. Regardless of whether she's cheating already, about to cheat, or thinking of cheating, she's out to get a better man than you, and judging from the way you post here, that's not going to be hard.

Shaddup you have nothing constructive to say. At least logical player thinks rationally and gives advice. You just say dump that b*tch right away and call me a loser for actually caring about a person. This relationship was important to me, yea im a real loser for trying to figure out how to fix it or if its even fixable by talkin to people on this board. U are of no help at all.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The thing is i didnt think u needed to have game once ur with the girl u think is the one.

This is your Epic Fail. THERE IS NO ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. This is the root of your AFC problem. This is the Soul Mate Myth. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their "soulmate" has died or moved on.

You're desperately clinging to this sexless, passionless, desireless pseudo-marriage because you subscribe to this fairytale. This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. ONEitis is ONEitis and when you do get that 'perfect' idealized girl you think is the ONE, you'll end up a simpering pile of indecisive, accomodating, supplicating, spineless goo because you're be too afraid to to lose your ONE 'soulmate' if you so much as assert an iota of your own identity.

It's time to pull a ƒucking trigger my friend. Now, my guess is you'll follow the same path as most AFCs do, and do nothing, hope she'll "come around" in the future and sit there like a good little boy and pay her bills while she eats Cheez-Its on the sofa before going off to bed.

Maybe something will happen and one of your nuts will descend and you'll man up and give her the standard AFC ultimatum (which is just a declaration of powerlessness). She'll laugh, maybe not to your face, and then go back to her routine after half-heartedly giving you a token ƒuck. You'll then think "you showed her" until another 6 months pass and you go resentful and pensive again.

Then something will give and you'll find something you think is inner strength, but is really the desperation of nothing left to lose, and you'll attempt to leave her. This is when she'll beg you to stay, say she'll change and ƒuck you more often and more vigorously in order to keep her now fat ass comfortable and not have to get into the gym or change herself in any way to get with another guy. Then you'll think this is a genuine shift, and because you're so unaccustomed to her initiating anything sexual or her making it any kind of priority you'll think she genuinely does have a desire for you (and not just the lifestyle you facilitate for her). At some point she'll "accidentally" become pregnant after this because she realizes she can't keep up the no-sex frame control forever without creating some kind of long term accountability for you. And in the end you'll be connected to her for a lifetime, raising children who'll see your role as a father as supplicating, insecure, powerless and beholden to a shrew as "normal" family living.

Have fun with that.

 

[DJinTraining06]

This is your Epic Fail. THERE IS NO ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. This is the root of your AFC problem. This is the Soul Mate Myth. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their "soulmate" has died or moved on.

You're desperately clinging to this sexless, passionless, desireless pseudo-marriage because you subscribe to this fairytale. This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. ONEitis is ONEitis and when you do get that 'perfect' idealized girl you think is the ONE, you'll end up a simpering pile of indecisive, accomodating, supplicating, spineless goo because you're be too afraid to to lose your ONE 'soulmate' if you so much as assert an iota of your own identity.

It's time to pull a ƒucking trigger my friend. Now, my guess is you'll follow the same path as most AFCs do, and do nothing, hope she'll "come around" in the future and sit there like a good little boy and pay her bills while she eats Cheez-Its on the sofa before going off to bed.

Maybe something will happen and one of your nuts will descend and you'll man up and give her the standard AFC ultimatum (which is just a declaration of powerlessness). She'll laugh, maybe not to your face, and then go back to her routine after half-heartedly giving you a token ƒuck. You'll then think "you showed her" until another 6 months pass and you go resentful and pensive again.

Then something will give and you'll find something you think is inner strength, but is really the desperation of nothing left to lose, and you'll attempt to leave her. This is when she'll beg you to stay, say she'll change and ƒuck you more often and more vigorously in order to keep her now fat ass comfortable and not have to get into the gym or change herself in any way to get with another guy. Then you'll think this is a genuine shift, and because you're so unaccustomed to her initiating anything sexual or her making it any kind of priority you'll think she genuinely does have a desire for you (and not just the lifestyle you facilitate for her). At some point she'll "accidentally" become pregnant after this because she realizes she can't keep up the no-sex frame control forever without creating some kind of long term accountability for you. And in the end you'll be connected to her for a lifetime, raising children who'll see your role as a father as supplicating, insecure, powerless and beholden to a shrew as "normal" family living.

Have fun with that.

ouch man, i agree with some of wat u said but dont u think thats a lil overdramatic? Im just lookingn for a lil more sex thats all. When i said "the one" i wasnt refering to the only one, to a soulmate or anythign like that. I just meant "the one" ad in the "one im choosing". I def don't believe in soulmates i consider myself a realist. Altho its funny u mentioned the cheez its, she was actually eating that exact thing not long ago before bed haha good guess. Actually the other night pissed me off, i have been tryin to lose a few lbs and firm up a lil lately, and i had a real healthy dinner. She went to a concert and i told her id pick her up cuz it was pouring rain, which i dont think is afc i just think its the right thing to do. So i do that and when she gets in the car, she goes sorry i reak of garlic i just put garlic powder all over my pizza. Im like yea thanks my car reaks now. We go home and she has a marshmallow treat, and takes a nutty bar with her to bed. I said did u have dinne rearlier wiht ur friend? Shes says yea. So she had dinner got drunk, ate pizza, and then 2 sweet snacks, and the comes into bed and falls asleep immediately breathng garlic breathe right into my direction. I slept on the couch cuz i coudnt take it anymore.

Stuff like this makes me not wanna marry her.

 

[DJinTraining06]

This is your Epic Fail. THERE IS NO ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. This is the root of your AFC problem. This is the Soul Mate Myth. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their "soulmate" has died or moved on.

You're desperately clinging to this sexless, passionless, desireless pseudo-marriage because you subscribe to this fairytale. This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. ONEitis is ONEitis and when you do get that 'perfect' idealized girl you think is the ONE, you'll end up a simpering pile of indecisive, accomodating, supplicating, spineless goo because you're be too afraid to to lose your ONE 'soulmate' if you so much as assert an iota of your own identity.

It's time to pull a ƒucking trigger my friend. Now, my guess is you'll follow the same path as most AFCs do, and do nothing, hope she'll "come around" in the future and sit there like a good little boy and pay her bills while she eats Cheez-Its on the sofa before going off to bed.

Maybe something will happen and one of your nuts will descend and you'll man up and give her the standard AFC ultimatum (which is just a declaration of powerlessness). She'll laugh, maybe not to your face, and then go back to her routine after half-heartedly giving you a token ƒuck. You'll then think "you showed her" until another 6 months pass and you go resentful and pensive again.

Then something will give and you'll find something you think is inner strength, but is really the desperation of nothing left to lose, and you'll attempt to leave her. This is when she'll beg you to stay, say she'll change and ƒuck you more often and more vigorously in order to keep her now fat ass comfortable and not have to get into the gym or change herself in any way to get with another guy. Then you'll think this is a genuine shift, and because you're so unaccustomed to her initiating anything sexual or her making it any kind of priority you'll think she genuinely does have a desire for you (and not just the lifestyle you facilitate for her). At some point she'll "accidentally" become pregnant after this because she realizes she can't keep up the no-sex frame control forever without creating some kind of long term accountability for you. And in the end you'll be connected to her for a lifetime, raising children who'll see your role as a father as supplicating, insecure, powerless and beholden to a shrew as "normal" family living.

Have fun with that.

Assuming everything u said was true, u have me listening ill entertain that thought. Now if it's all true, doesn't that mean the promblem lies in me not in her? Won't any other girl i start seeing end up the same exact way? They'll start off with constant sex, bj's, telling me how wonderful i am in every way to feed my ego ,and this and that, and then eventually will not care how she looks in front of me, gain weight, and withhold sex of any kind? And if that's the case then why dump this one and why not try and fix wats werong with me and see if she adjusts to my new attiitude and changes her ways.

 

[DJinTraining06]

This is your Epic Fail. THERE IS NO ONE. There are some good Ones and there are some bad Ones, but there is no ONE. This is the root of your AFC problem. This is the Soul Mate Myth. Anyone telling you anything else is selling you something. There are LOTS of 'special someones' out there for you, just ask the divorced/widowed person who's remarried after their "soulmate" has died or moved on.

You're desperately clinging to this sexless, passionless, desireless pseudo-marriage because you subscribe to this fairytale. This is what trips people up about the soul-mate myth, it is this fantasy that we all at least in some way share an idealization of; that there is ONE perfect mate for each of us and as soon as the planets align and fate takes it's course we'll know that we're 'intended' for each other. And while this may sell a lot of romance novels it's hardly a realistic way to plan your life. ONEitis is ONEitis and when you do get that 'perfect' idealized girl you think is the ONE, you'll end up a simpering pile of indecisive, accomodating, supplicating, spineless goo because you're be too afraid to to lose your ONE 'soulmate' if you so much as assert an iota of your own identity.

It's time to pull a ƒucking trigger my friend. Now, my guess is you'll follow the same path as most AFCs do, and do nothing, hope she'll "come around" in the future and sit there like a good little boy and pay her bills while she eats Cheez-Its on the sofa before going off to bed.

Maybe something will happen and one of your nuts will descend and you'll man up and give her the standard AFC ultimatum (which is just a declaration of powerlessness). She'll laugh, maybe not to your face, and then go back to her routine after half-heartedly giving you a token ƒuck. You'll then think "you showed her" until another 6 months pass and you go resentful and pensive again.

Then something will give and you'll find something you think is inner strength, but is really the desperation of nothing left to lose, and you'll attempt to leave her. This is when she'll beg you to stay, say she'll change and ƒuck you more often and more vigorously in order to keep her now fat ass comfortable and not have to get into the gym or change herself in any way to get with another guy. Then you'll think this is a genuine shift, and because you're so unaccustomed to her initiating anything sexual or her making it any kind of priority you'll think she genuinely does have a desire for you (and not just the lifestyle you facilitate for her). At some point she'll "accidentally" become pregnant after this because she realizes she can't keep up the no-sex frame control forever without creating some kind of long term accountability for you. And in the end you'll be connected to her for a lifetime, raising children who'll see your role as a father as supplicating, insecure, powerless and beholden to a shrew as "normal" family living.

Have fun with that.

I'm starting to beleive in wat u said. Today my gf texts me saying, i think we should have a nice romantic nigth this weekend. So i respond, sure thatd be nice, ill make us reservations somewhere. So then she called em a lil later and we were talkin bout where we should go and she says in a joking playful: i shouldnt have to tell u to have a romantic night with me. So while I knew she was joking it still pissed me off cuz she obviously thinks that. meanwhile i go out with her all the f'in time and then the sec we go home she goes right to bed. So i say to her, well not for nothing but i take u out alot and it kinda bothers me that every single time it could be a sat night and u have to go stright to bed when u get home.
Well she flips a sh*t and starts crying and says that i always complain about that and god i didnt know i wasnt allowed to sleep, i have chronic fatiguge and a job weve discussed this i get tired. And besides i dont do that all the time i do it durting the week. So i say to her no u do it every fri and sat night that we evere go out not just during the week, And it is every siungle time not just once ina while. It can be 10:45 and u go right to bed. It makes me think gee im up by myslef on a sat night i shoulda went out with my friends. So shes cryign and saying i cant beleieve ur doing this i was tryint o plan soemthing nice for us, blah blah blah. So then were goin back and froth by text and shes sayign stuff like - dont go out with me then and practically going nuts, even tho i said i never yelled or got nasty with her.

So then shes like this is how i am either deal with it or stop bothering me stupid sh*t. So im like well no thatys now how u were pre-living together and u know it. U were nothing like that and we used to actually have sex. She goes nuts again crying and tellin me to stop and i made her so upset. And she has the nerve to say wat r u talkin about we did it numerous times last week. I'm like no we did it once lasty friday, so i dunno who your doin it with but it wasnt me. then shes like well we do it more than once a week sometimes. I'm like no we never do, i think back in jaunarty we might have oncenand i practically forced u (which is the truth but in her mind she thinks we do it a ton apparently) So then she says well it takes two ya know u cant just blame me. so im like wtf! thats the pt every time i try u turn me down and u never initiate. Plus u go to bed the second we get home so sometimes i dont even get a chance to try. So her responmse is please stop ur making me cry before bed. (it's 9:38 pm) So im like fine i didnt know talkin abotu sex with u made me cry, i guess u want to just stick with ur once a week schedule. She texts me back - "i dont want a schedule! I wanna do wat i wanna do when i wanna do it! stop making me upset." To which i reply "well dont tell me it takes 2 if u wanna do wat u wanna do when u wanna do it. You just proved my point that i can not even approach u botu sex anymore, im afraid to cuz u always reject me"She says "i dont reject u that often"

So it went back and forth like this till eventually she had to go to bed at 9:57. The last text to me was "i dont like to cry before bed"

 

[The Logical Player]

dump her already you GODDAMN CHUMP

 

[DJinTraining06]

dump her already you GODDAMN CHUMP

I'm close to, i cannot win. She wont even admit we dont ahve sex, she actually said we did it numerous times this week!! and that we do it more thna once quite often! Are all girls this irrational, ,most i have know are it pisses me off. We never ever do it more than once ever!!!! Guaranteed when i dump her shell tell all her gf's that we did it plently and ill seem like some pig who just wanted to bang her all the time lol Unbeleivable. I'm done, i now have HPV that wont go away and have to now try and hide it from whatver other girl i sleep with which is so wrong, but wat am i gonna do tell them before i sleep with them? They wont do it then. Its highly contagious even with a condom. God this girl was bad for me i cant even be comfotable lookin elswhere now cuz she had to give me a freakin std. I didnt even get anything out of this std, almost no sex..

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

She's filibustering and playing an emotional card to make this YOUR problem. You on the other hand are trying to negotiate her nonexistent desire. Think about that for a minute - even if she agreed to ƒuck you 3 times a week, she still doesn't WANT to ƒuck you at all, and would be doing so (temporarily) to patronize you at best. You know what it's called when you have sex with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you? That's right, rape. Heh, lay that one on her.

 

[DJinTraining06]

She's filibustering and playing an emotional card to make this YOUR problem. You on the other hand are trying to negotiate her nonexistent desire. Think about that for a minute - even if she agreed to ƒuck you 3 times a week, she still doesn't WANT to ƒuck you at all, and would be doing so (temporarily) to patronize you at best. You know what it's called when you have sex with a woman who doesn't want to have sex with you? That's right, rape. Heh, lay that one on her.

She kept sayin "I enjoy sex too, you can't blame this all on me. Sorry I don't wanna doit the exact moment you do." Meanwhile what moment does she wanna do it? If she's not initiatiaitng and she turns me down most times when I do and/or goes to bed the second we get home on weekends, then when can we possibly do it, besides that one exact time that u r in the godamm mood once a week. Noting she says makes any sense, how can women operate like this. They have no truth, logic, or honor in anything they do or say. How can we have a woman president someday. I told her that she makes me feel guilty like im some kind oof pig for trying to initiate with her once in a while, and she's like "are u kiddind me???" I say no i why would i kid about this. You turn me dowen soemtimes nastily that u have to go to bed or this or that.

Now I have a question, isn't part of a relationship making sacrifices for someone u love? I mean sure u should b happy and getting what u want out of the relationship generally speaking, but shouldnt u also make sacrifices? Like she says she enjoys sex with me, but ok on the days that shes not in the mood shouldnt she do it just to make me happy at least sometimes?
I thought thats wat u did in a relationship. Early on in the relationship she wanted sex more than I did sometimes. And i only turned her down once cuz i was so drunk and falling asleep that i couldnt keep my eyes open. other times i forced myself too. I didnt really consider it forcing cuz the end result of having sex is wuite good!!! I'm begiign to think she really is just a selfish whacked out cvnt.