Hello my fellow don juaners. what do you do if your gf tells u she loves you but needs time to get over her issues with you. she has trust issues with me which i can see why she does but its not like im not trustworthy. i am. we have been fighting alot and shes become more of a ***** the nicer i am to her. so last month she told me she wanted a break and i basically acted afcish and tried to convince her it was a bad idea. didnt work. anyways well i guess we were on a "break" but we still talked and saw each other regularly. and had lots of sex during our "break". so it was basically the same but we still had that underlying tension. well i dealt with her *****yness for that entire time cuz i guess i knew why she was acting that way and was just gonna weather the storm till things got better. well of course nothing did. and finally last week i went over to her house while she was sick to be the "nice guy" and show her i care bring her some soup and take care of her. well i was late an hour and because of that she was a total ***** the entire night cuz she thought i was up to no good. i took it for a little bit and waited for her to come around but never happened. i ended up telling her f u and leaving. we then proceeded to argue for like two hours over text and basically ending the relationship. of course i was hurt but i stood my ground and didnt talk to her the next day. the next couple days she was crying her eyes out and telling me how much she wanted me back and blah blah blah. so i told her to come over and i had sex with her and all was gravy. things were great for about a week. she told me she thinks she still needed time to get over her issues with me but that never really happened. well the other day we got into another fight over the dumbest **** (which seems to always be the case, shes pretty petty) she said she couldnt handle this right now and maybe "in the future" we could work "maybe were better off as friends". so i told her fine and to grow up. so today she sends me an email from work to just initiate conversation im guessing. i didnt respond. well i guess my question is what do i do from here? i love her very much and dont really wanna lose her. what should i do to make her really want me back again under conditions that are more beneficial to me or "us". im sorry if the story is kind of vague but i tried to make a long story short.
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Advice on girlfriend.
- Thread starter stees
- Start date
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Loves hurts dont it? I cannot force anything on you. But, I think you should move on. Why date a girl who b!tches at you all day long? As you can see from breaking up and getting back together. Nothing has changed...
Its going to remain that way unless you both communicate your problems. If you dont talk and try to find a solutions to your fights. Nothing will change.
But, I think you could do better and find a better girlfriend.
Its going to remain that way unless you both communicate your problems. If you dont talk and try to find a solutions to your fights. Nothing will change.
But, I think you could do better and find a better girlfriend.
Charm&Style
Master Don Juan
why be in a relationship that has trust issues? Move on, you dont need a chick nagging and b!tching at you for retarded reasons. If the fault is on your part that she doesnt trust you no matter what you do in the back of her head she will associate you as a negative.
Tell her you need a break.
Tell her you need a break.
E
Energizer
Guest
I couldn't agree more. OP, your girlfriend needs to be single for a while, so she can grow up and get over the serious issues she has. She is not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship and the selfish thing for you to do would be to keep hold of her for your own self interests. Let her go. Find someone who is mature enough and in the right frame of mind to reciprocate your feelings.I.A.F.Y.B. said:But, I think you could do better and find a better girlfriend.
Don't try to solve her problems. Don't keep giving her chances thinking she is going to suddenly change or you'll find the "answer". Most likely that won't happen. She will need time to change and mature.
It's tough to leave when you've spent so much time with someone but you have to stay somewhat objective and get out when things aren't right.
Don't stay with her out of fear of being alone or not finding another GF, you will and you'll be better off for it.
She needs to be hit with a dose of reality - so far it seems like you've done everything SHE wants and she hasn't done much of what YOU want.
3 options -
1 - you agree to stay with her but things will be on your terms - tell her that right up front - you can't take some of this crap and if she continues to pull this stuff then you'll have to say goodbye. Let her know you're at your limit.
2 - move on - this is what you and her NEED
3 - continue on with things as they have been, her dictating things and keeping the emotional roller coaster going and continue to be unhappy on a daily or weekly basis because she can't figure her crap out
It's tough to leave when you've spent so much time with someone but you have to stay somewhat objective and get out when things aren't right.
Don't stay with her out of fear of being alone or not finding another GF, you will and you'll be better off for it.
She needs to be hit with a dose of reality - so far it seems like you've done everything SHE wants and she hasn't done much of what YOU want.
3 options -
1 - you agree to stay with her but things will be on your terms - tell her that right up front - you can't take some of this crap and if she continues to pull this stuff then you'll have to say goodbye. Let her know you're at your limit.
2 - move on - this is what you and her NEED
3 - continue on with things as they have been, her dictating things and keeping the emotional roller coaster going and continue to be unhappy on a daily or weekly basis because she can't figure her crap out
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loveshogun
Master Don Juan
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my condolences
"I love her very much"
Let's get one thing straight here - I sympathize with you. I know what this kinda situation feels like. I really do. So I'm not here to break your balls, or anything like that, but I have this idea that all men, in order to be real men, have to be ready to hear it like it is. All the time, every time, men deal with reality.
So, the bottom line, if you're not a liar: she crazy.
But, she's not the only one living in fairytale land right now, my friend. You gotta wake up and smell the bs. At least half of it is coming from you.
Let me explain, according to you, you love her. Let's see what you (yes, you) have to say about her:
- she has trust issues
- we have been fighting alot
- she told me she wanted a break
- she was a total ***** the entire night
- i ended up telling her f u
- i was hurt
This is just part of the list. So yeah, you love her, but according to everything you just told us about her, you tend to love the following things in women:
1) Lack of trust
2) Combative
3) Disinterested in a relationship with you
4) Completely unsatisfied with life 50+ percent of the time
5) Anyone who can get you to utter "f*** you!" in a non sexual context
6) People who hurt you
Okay, okay. That was kinda harsh. But those were YOUR words, man, not mine. I know, I know. "But I was so frustrated so of course I was gonna write about all the crappy stuff she been doin".
Yeah, frustrated you are. But then, think about how often that happens. You said it's a long story. Sounds like you frustrated a lot of the time then, huh?
To her credit, you theoretically love her for things that you didn't mention. But that's kinda funny to me, because if those things mattered more than what you DID mention, you wouldn't be here asking for advice, would you?
Remember this, man. You don't love people who treat you that way. You love the idea of these people. No one loves catty combativeness. And if they do, they love it for maybe 5 minutes at most.
You love these kinds of people because you make excuses for their poor behavior. You can't control that, so you start hypnotizing yourself into "loving" that kinda thing, and saying "Oh, it's just a phase" or, "hey I probably deserve this". Naah, brotha! You need to be strong enough to say enough is enough, and that you're tired of the mfing snakes on this mfing plane!
I know it's tough; it definitely doesn't help that you seem to be a horny mofo. I sympathize with that! That first month will be difficult as hell. You'll start missing weird things, like the smell of tang in the morning after you brush your teeth and it's all coochie-minty fresh.
Listen to the advice you've already heard from the people who posted above me. Get outta there. In the long run (which is what matters - really), it'll be better for the both of you.
Good luck.
"I love her very much"
Let's get one thing straight here - I sympathize with you. I know what this kinda situation feels like. I really do. So I'm not here to break your balls, or anything like that, but I have this idea that all men, in order to be real men, have to be ready to hear it like it is. All the time, every time, men deal with reality.
So, the bottom line, if you're not a liar: she crazy.
But, she's not the only one living in fairytale land right now, my friend. You gotta wake up and smell the bs. At least half of it is coming from you.
Let me explain, according to you, you love her. Let's see what you (yes, you) have to say about her:
- she has trust issues
- we have been fighting alot
- she told me she wanted a break
- she was a total ***** the entire night
- i ended up telling her f u
- i was hurt
This is just part of the list. So yeah, you love her, but according to everything you just told us about her, you tend to love the following things in women:
1) Lack of trust
2) Combative
3) Disinterested in a relationship with you
4) Completely unsatisfied with life 50+ percent of the time
5) Anyone who can get you to utter "f*** you!" in a non sexual context
6) People who hurt you
Okay, okay. That was kinda harsh. But those were YOUR words, man, not mine. I know, I know. "But I was so frustrated so of course I was gonna write about all the crappy stuff she been doin".
Yeah, frustrated you are. But then, think about how often that happens. You said it's a long story. Sounds like you frustrated a lot of the time then, huh?
To her credit, you theoretically love her for things that you didn't mention. But that's kinda funny to me, because if those things mattered more than what you DID mention, you wouldn't be here asking for advice, would you?
Remember this, man. You don't love people who treat you that way. You love the idea of these people. No one loves catty combativeness. And if they do, they love it for maybe 5 minutes at most.
You love these kinds of people because you make excuses for their poor behavior. You can't control that, so you start hypnotizing yourself into "loving" that kinda thing, and saying "Oh, it's just a phase" or, "hey I probably deserve this". Naah, brotha! You need to be strong enough to say enough is enough, and that you're tired of the mfing snakes on this mfing plane!
I know it's tough; it definitely doesn't help that you seem to be a horny mofo. I sympathize with that! That first month will be difficult as hell. You'll start missing weird things, like the smell of tang in the morning after you brush your teeth and it's all coochie-minty fresh.
Listen to the advice you've already heard from the people who posted above me. Get outta there. In the long run (which is what matters - really), it'll be better for the both of you.
Good luck.