Advice on adapting the 'get your girl back..' plan please

[jack aubrey]

Hi Guys,
Ok, interesting situation. There’s a girl I’ve been dating for about 5 months who was madly into me (telling me how much she loved me, etc), but about a month ago we had a bad argument and she’s not been quite the same with me since. We still kiss, hug and have sex continually and get on okay (we actually just got back from a great vacation with her parents), but she hasn’t been quite the same emotionally.

The main cause of the friction has been 2 things: a) that I’m at the back end of a divorce and she hasn’t liked being involved with a guy going through a divorce (though she knew all about it and we were friends for a couple of months before dating); b) she works part time as a stripper to help pay bills while her new photography business gets off the ground and as I got closer to the girl that started to bother me and when I was feeling a bit down a couple of months ago I got a bit narcy over it which she said made her feel like ****. Also, she’s been quite depressed over the last couple of months due to feeling stuck in a rut with various areas of her life and being ill; she moans and is negative continually, and is considering moving to another part of the country a couple of hours away.

When we got back from vacation on Wednesday, she messaged saying she had an amazing time etc, but she thinks we should keep in touch but not see each other for a couple of weeks while she decides what she wants in life. She made it clear she is really into me and it’s not a break-up, she wants some space to ponder her next move (yeah, I know what that sounds like!).
I read the ‘get your girl back in 30 days’ book and, as it suggests, the next day (2 days ago) sent her a short message basically saying ‘I agreed with her decision, she’s not ready for a relationship, briefly apologized for giving her a bad time over her work, she needs space and time to sort herself out and hopefully we can be friends again’. She went fairly nuts when I sent that! Kept calling and sending all sorts of messages, and being upset that I’d said ‘we weren’t going to work out’ (which was not what I’d written). I ignored most of them, but admittedly have been drawn back into messaging and have had a couple of long phone calls (made me laugh that she said she’d read my message about 100 times!).

Also, she’s been a bit weird accusing me of flirting with a girl (who is honestly just a friend) on Facebook. There was no flirting, but she sent a message saying ‘if you want other women fine but don’t expect me to be happy seeing you flirting, etc’.

This morning she called and I suggested getting a coffee, and she said ‘no, I said I wanted a couple of weeks and it’s only been a couple of days’.

So, basically, I’m confused as to what the best course of action is. Since I wasn’t dumped, is ignoring her totally for 21 days actually the best plan (as it says in the eBook)? I’m tempted to think that maybe doing this for just 1 or 2 weeks might be better. Or maybe not ignoring her completely – briefly responding to every 2 or 3 of her messages might be a good balance between giving her space and acting like an alpha male, whilst not alienating her completely. What do you guys think/suggest?

Cheers!

 

[Willard]

I would go no contact forever and find someone who was positive and didn't threaten to move a way, and who isn't a stripper. You would be a fool to do anything else. Delete her number, her photo's and move on.

 

[VladPatton]

It's a stripper, man. Chalk it up to you banging a hot girl for a few months and call it done. She pretty much told you to phuck off. Don't be desperate and start chasing a stripper. There is nothing high quality here, so time to go ghost forever.

At best, make her a phuck buddy.

 

[Bible_Belt]

It's a stripper, man.

Yeah, no sh!t.

How is her relationship with her father?

 

[jack aubrey]

Thanks for the great advice guys. Very much appreciated.

Should I drop her a message of some sort telling her that? What would be the best angle to take? I'll be honest, I do want to...

 

[cordoncordon]

She is a stripper. You are pining over and obsessing over a stripper. A girl who takes her clothes off for other men.

Think about that for a minute and where your self esteem must be in order to do that.

However I do have a great gift you could give her. Something that you can give her and will make her want you more than ever before.

You ready for it?

Give her the gift............
























Of missing you.

Which means no contact. None. Period. Not only will that make her miss what she had, but more importantly it may install some sense into you that perhaps you are not quite as into this girl as you think you are.

Good luck.

 

[jack aubrey]

Thanks guys. This does make a lot of sense and I do feel better about the situation already. I haven't sent any messages since first posting here, and I've already had a text asking "Are you okay?"... Lol

Just to be clear, are you guys saying not to send any message informing her I'm not contacting her? Like I said before, I would like to massage my ego by making some sort of statement lol! But will follow you guys' advice.

 

[TheSlasher]

Cool. It's always awesome to see some dude getting his **** together. Now, for the follow-up advice, go meet other women, just in case this might not be the best girl for you. The principle is: Your life and the future of your emotions and sanity is what's at stake here, remember that. Take your strength from that statement if she goes wild over what you're doing once you've started seeing other girls.

 

[VladPatton]

Thanks for the great advice guys. Very much appreciated.

Should I drop her a message of some sort telling her that? What would be the best angle to take? I'll be honest, I do want to...

No, you do nothing of the sort. You're "going to be very busy" these next few months, and it's none of her business with what. Let her initiate all texts, and always be vague.

See, she basically wants you to be crushed and to pine over her so her ego can be pumped up and so she can eventually blast you when she finds another guy. She is most likely shopping, and is hating that you're not staying on the other line as a just-in-case backup. It's now up in the air with you, as well as with the new guy! She now realizes that she is fücking up with both of you. Very unsettling in her Master Of The Universe mentality!

So stay the course. Eventually she'll bang the piss out of the new guy to keep him and throw it back into your face as a hardee-har-har. Save yourself headaches starting now, and be 2 steps ahead of her.

We all know this situation sucks hairy gorilla ball sac, but you'll get through it. Whatever you do, don't go back on your actions now, it'll be an instant loose for you.

 

[jack aubrey]

Quick update, I got a flurry of texts like "what's wrong", "stop,ignoring me" " stop making me feel bad"... " eventually I just replied "been really busy, talk later".

I know some have said to go total no contact, but I thought a brief reply like that, leading into NC, would be more enticing

Thanks again for the help dudes!

 

[ludis]

Quick update, I got a flurry of texts like "what's wrong", "stop,ignoring me" " stop making me feel bad"... " eventually I just replied "been really busy, talk later".

I know some have said to go total no contact, but I thought a brief reply like that, leading into NC, would be more enticing

Thanks again for the help dudes!

These txts are just her insecurities talking aka her ego.
Trust me pal, you don't want to be pandering to her ego.