Advice (on a girl)

[white cloud 8]

Hi,

Okay its like this: since the beginning of my 1st term this year (September) there is this girl who is in two of my classes and she is mighty fine (painting and sculpture) and I don't know how to say it but, I think she is flirting with me blushing.gif. As the months progressed she would always smile at me and say 'Hi, how are you doing?' she would always give me this intrigued sort of look (with her eyes, I like her eyes). I don't know but something is telling me that she may be interested in me (I really don't know what it is about her which makes me so interested) or I could just be dense and she is just trying to be friendly and I shouldn;t read into it anymore than that. I found out a couple of weeks ago that she is from South Africa (she has an accent), I think that's pretty cool. So, any tips on how I can delve further into knowing more about her (what are some things I could say which she won't think is weird)?

Anyway, I asked her on Friday if she wanted to hang out sometime next week (spring break) and she said "Yeah, we should" with a big smile. The thing is that we both are very busy with school projects (and she mentoned this since we are taking two of the same classes) and she said that we would probably end up hanging out here (sculpture studio) because thats where the majority of the time she/myself will be for most of next week. Okay so I got the first part down, the only thing now is finding time. I put the offer out there, is it best I just leave it at that or should I still ask her sometime next week?

BTW: during a normal week, we practically see each other almost everyday. Also, on another note over the last month when she sees me and makes eye contact (she smiles and waves at me).

 

[Don_Joffe]

1. She is from South Africa, her friends will be limited, she will want to get to know you
2. She smiles and waves = attraction for your looks
3. She agreed to spending time with you = wants to get to know you.
4. You seem to be standing their and "looking pretty" dont make excuses about time, their are 24 hours in a day, THEIR IS ALWAYS TIME. Never ever make the excuse that their is no time, if a girl ever tells you she is too busy to see you- she is lying, they can always fit you in if they really like you.
5. If i were you, id stop beating around the bush and ask her out to a date , dont say "hang out" , she isnt american, I, south african myself would know this. Make it more formal and more gentleman like instead of a casual approach to her. Sit down when you see her in your classes or whatever and SET a date for the 2 of you.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by Don_Joffe

4. You seem to be standing their and "looking pretty" dont make excuses about time, their are 24 hours in a day, THEIR IS ALWAYS TIME. Never ever make the excuse that their is no time, if a girl ever tells you she is too busy to see you- she is lying, they can always fit you in if they really like you.

I admit that I was hesitant at first but, now I am more comfortable around her (talking/conversation-wise). So I take it from what I am describing, she is interested in me (likes me) ? Should I ask her again if she wants to do something next week? Whats even more pathetic, I've been talking with her for half a year and still don't have her phone number (I told one of my friends this and he was like "WHAAA...."). One thing that does stick out for me was last month (it was on a Saturday) and we were both in the sculpture studio (alone) working and while I was doing my thing, she comes over with a glass of orange juice asking if I like orange juice (an act of kindness or is she just trying to be nice?) Man, I'm sooo dense .

 

[Don_Joffe]

Forget the orange juice- that means nothing, she is just being friendly.
Next time you see her you need to first and foremost ask her for her number "Hey, What is your number"
NOT: "Hey, Can i have your number"
Next...
When you are working alone again, apply kino (dont know how? Go read bible.)
If you dont get oppurtunity next time to work alone (isolating her is a great tool you have, you seem to be throwing that oppurtunity away, make most of it, flirt, touch, express)
ASK HER ON AN OFFICAL DATE. Dinner for the 2 of you. Have your PLANS already planned out in your head.

 

[white cloud 8]

Any other advice??? Should I just cut the bull**** and ask her out?

Are all the signs there that she likes me? Or I should always think that a girl likes me no matter what and this will show whenever we see each other?

 

[Don_Joffe]

After the comments you originally made im assuming she likes you, hence You should assume she likes you anyway. I explained in my previous post what you need to do, follow those steps and youll be succesful with her.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by Don_Joffe
After the comments you originally made im assuming she likes you, hence You should assume she likes you anyway. I explained in my previous post what you need to do, follow those steps and youll be succesful with her.

I see from your first post that you are South African, ummm....would you have any other tips about South African girls eg. what should I say/do? Something that may give me that edge which maybe some other guys may have no knowledge of (things she might not expect me to do/surprise her)?

 

[Don_Joffe]

Speak some afrikaans? That would catch her by surprise.
Speak some french/spanish - south african girls love that french accent.
Ask her what sports she likes- and learn something about south african teams.
Just do the Kino wen u are alone with her and the flirting and basically set up an OFFICAL DATE.
Its not higher grade, ive explained what you should do.
Heed my advice.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by Don_Joffe
Speak some afrikaans? That would catch her by surprise.
Speak some french/spanish - south african girls love that french accent.
Ask her what sports she likes- and learn something about south african teams.
Just do the Kino wen u are alone with her and the flirting and basically set up an OFFICAL DATE.
Its not higher grade, ive explained what you should do.
Heed my advice.

She told me she speaks Afrikaans (it sounds so sexy), and, she loves to go swimming (as a sport) and she was saying that Rugby is a hugely popular sport in South Africa.

 

[white cloud 8]

She wasn't at school today so, probably tomorrow should I see what she is up to this week and she wants to go out? While I'm doing that I have to see if she will give me her phone number.

BTW: She said last Friday that she may check out this club on Thursday, should I see if I could go with her? What should I say?

 

[white cloud 8]

Help plz?

 

[Donald Kaufman]

She has already said yes to the idea of seeing you. Don't mention it again until you have a specific time to suggest.

Get her phone number.

Ask her about what is happening on Thursday. If it sounds interesting to you say you might have to check it out. If she doesn't look uncomfortable ask her to join you. If it doesn't sound interesting or if she looks uncomfortable stick with your original plan.

 

[white cloud 8]

Yeah, all she said yesterday was 'hey', thats all. She didn't make conversation, nothing. I think I'll just give up on her, she is not worth the time.

 

[I-am-someone]

I think I see the problem...
You need to realize she is attracted to you BECAUSE you are impervious to her moves. I know this sounds weird, but it just works this way.
As soon as you change overnight, this "charm" of yours stops working instantly. She probably recognized your new attitude from your bodylanguage. Read "Kill that desperation" by Pook.

More importantly than what her actions towards you are, I want to know what your actions towards her have been.
Have you been flirting? Have you been having a good time with her most of the time? Have you talked about something other than your school subjects?
Tell us as much as you can about what you have done so far, so we can think up a strategy that will be congruent with the way you have behaved in the past.

 

[white cloud 8]

I haven't done anything yet, I seen her for the first time this week yesterday. I am not desperate about pushing my feelings on to her, most of the time I am distant and say 'hey' every so often if she passes by but, other than that I show that I am not as interested. I guess because she doesn't strike conversations (majority of the time) with me, I have to. Last week I asked her if she wanted to hang out this week but, she didn't say anything about it yesterday so, I figure I'm not going to waste anymore time or effort on this.

 

[I-am-someone]

At least give it another try...
You might hit it off great once you actually start talking to eachother, but how will you know if you don't persist?

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by I-am-someone
At least give it another try...
You might hit it off great once you actually start talking to eachother, but how will you know if you don't persist?

The thing is, I dont' want to put effort into something that will most likely end up in wasted time (time off my life). I put the offer out there but, given her response yesterday she either lost interest or is dating someone else now. The thing I like about myself the most is that I am never a jealous person (jealousy is such an ugly thing), I am muct too modest. If she is seeing someone else, all the power to her.

note: I've come to the conclusion that she is just one *BIG* flirt .

 

[Albion4]

Here's some good advice. You'll never find out unless you do something about it. Eventually she'll assume that you're just not interested and lose interest herself.

"Hey, wanna go out for a cup of coffee after class?"

"Can I walk you to your next class or back to your dorm?"

"Wanna go find out what people are sneaking off and doing behind the Applied Sciences building?"

Whatever you want, every single one of the lines above has worked for me in some way shape or form.

-Al

 

[I-am-someone]

"Wanna go find out what people are sneaking off and doing behind the Applied Sciences building?"

Hahaha, interesting

White cloud, if she's one big flirt she's likely to be what we call an Attention Wh0re. Do a search for it.

 

[white cloud 8]

I just have one question: the things I described in my first post, is she interested in me or was that just flirting tactics? When I asked her to do something and she said yes, did I get the green light to ask her again (she was busy this week)?