Advice neeeded desperately

[Cinamon]

One of my ex boyfriends has resurfaced. I met him in my younger more naive days when i actually trusted people and i loved him and thought we would live happily ever after. When we were dating I use to send him loads of raunchy pictures and videos of me doing all sorts to him on his mobile, to get him in the mood.
I was so stupid, i sent him pictures and videos where you could clearly see my face as i did stuff. The worst thing is, i should have known better cause he had showed me a pic of his ex in a compromising postion, but i loved him and thought he would never do it to me. Over time our relationship fizzled out and we decided to go on a break as we both had so much going on.

Recently he has tried to rekindle the love, and when I said to him that I couldnt see myself being with him, he went off on one and threatened to put my pictures and videos on a jilted lovers spite website. I dont know what to do with him. At this moment in time I am seeing someone else that he doesnt know about, and I have just been telling him i have got a lot on, so not ready to start something just yet. How do i get those videos of him? What can i do? The worst thing is, my career is based on me being a person of standing within the community, the consequences of the videos being leaked would have a devastating affect on my professional livelihood.

 

[schttrj]

I don't know what your real name is...but Cinamon, i understand you. One of my friends have been in this kind of trouble before.

First thing, you should try to talk to your current bf on this. Ask him for advice. Men love to fix problems. He will try to help you out. Even if he can't, he is in control. Men love to be in control.

Second thing, you cannot beg, you cannot buy and you cannot borrow. You can steal though. But much better would be to just talk with that person, establish a talking relationship and surrender to him. No you cannot tell how badly you will be hit if he broadcasts them. But you will try to bring back memories of you two together and how you still expect so much from him. Just make him feel like a good man.

Can't say if this will work or not. But worth trying out.

 

[Ease]

Post us a link when he uploads them.

 

[Don Israel]

If the pictures were taken a long while ago, there's a chance that they won't even notice it's you. Therefore , you can just say (unfortunately you'll have to lie) that the ex is crazy enough to have the audacity to spread pictures that aren't even of you.


If the pictures are relatively recent and if you think you might be recognisable, just mention to him (in a calm manner) that he can do that if he wishes: since you will sue him for defamation and blackmail.


l'ets say he does posts them, you can actually sue him based on the fact that he wanted to get back with you but when rejected, he threatened you. That is a form of blackmail.


The point is to scare the ***k off of his body.

 

[kingsam]

Post us a link when he uploads them.

yes i think we need to asses the pics of you first before we plan any action!

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Double hell yeah.

Does he have anything? Threaten to sue his ass.

 

[Cinamon]

He doesnt know about my new bf and my new bf thinks I am prim and proper, so i cant tell him.

I would threaten to sue him, but he built his empire at a young age, and is minted, losing a bit of money wouldnt bother him at all, and it would further leave him satisfied knowing he got to me.

I was thinking, the only way I could really be rid of them for sure is getting his phone and laptop destroyed, but i would need to get in to his house to do that, regain his trust etc.

If i reported it to the police, would they be able to remove the images from him?

 

[Igetit!]

He doesnt know about my new bf and my new bf thinks I am prim and proper, so i cant tell him.

Your new boyfriend thinks you're "prim and proper"?

So does that mean that side of you that made those "raunchy photos and videos" no longer exists,or have you just yet to reveal that side to him yet?

Just curious.

I was thinking, the only way I could really be rid of them for sure is getting his phone and laptop destroyed, but i would need to get in to his house to do that, regain his trust etc.

This is a risky move.

If this guy is trying to blackmail you into a relationship with him,if he's that desperate,then if you destroy his property,he might be angry enough to call the police on you and get you arrested.


It's rare,but that "a woman scorned" thing can apply to men who've been hurt as well.


You're really in a rough spot here.


I was thinking that you could just tell your new boyfriend about the pictures. Tell him you were young and made foolish decisions. I know you don't want to do that,but it would kind of neutralize some of the impact if your ex did decide to make those images public.


That was just a thought.



I don't know how stable-minded your ex is,but if there's any part of him that's still good,maybe you could try to reason with the dude.


For one,YOU could try....oh I don't know,but how about something called "being honest".


Instead of lying to him and telling him you "had a lot going on" and that you "weren't ready to start something just yet",you think you could just TELL HIM THE TRUTH,that you're already in a relationship?


To me,the fact that YOU lied to him and gave him the run-a-round is more infuriating than just telling him the truth that you're already involved with someone.


By telling him you're already taken,at least he'd know to back off.




People might not like truth,but they respect it.


You told him that you "aren't ready to start something" WHILE you were already in "SOMETHING".



This guy's already nuts. How do you think that little piece of info will make him feel when he finds that out?



This ONLY THING that will make him respect you now is for you to STOP LYING and just be honest.



I'd be like,"Look,I'm already in a relationship. I've been in one for (however long). Yes,I know I told you I wasn't ready to start anything,but it was because I didn't want to hurt you,but I shouldn't have said that.

The truth is that I'm already dating someone,and I'm happy in the relationship. He's a good person and he treats me well.

Let me ask you a question:You wanted us to get back together,but when I turned you down,you threatened to make public the those pictures and the video of me. Did you think doing that helped you out any,as far as you and I getting back together?


By threatening to show everyone those pictures,all you did what reveal more about YOURSELF,and what kind of person YOU are.


I want a guy I can be comfortable with. How could I ever be comfortable dating you knowing that that side of you exist? Knowing that at any time and for any reason that this man,who's suppose to love me and care for me could humiliate me by showing the world what was supposed to be between us ONLY?

Have I ever thought about the possibility of us two dating again since we last saw each other? Yeah,it's crosses my mind. But you showing up out of nowhere and THREATENING me like this....well what do you think?

Do you think you threatening me like this motivates me to want to be in a LONG-TERM relationship with you?

Would you want to date someone who threatened to reveal private pictures of you to the world?".




I'd say something like that to him. Try to go at him logically. Show him that all his threatening did was ENSURE that you'll never date him again.


I know this may be a hard thing to do,but for once,could you STOP giving a guy the run-a-round and just tell him that honest truth?


Once you've done that,that's all you can do. The rest is up to him. If you can somehow get to him,tell him you'd like those images destroyed and whatever you have to do to give you peace of mind that they're gone,then do it.

 

[ENIGMA16]

If you do go for the attempt to destroy the photos, then don't destroy his phone/laptop; just steal them.

 

[MeteorMash]

Cinamon, if you dont listen to Igetit then you deserve to have this guy breathing down your neck for however long it takes to 'Manipulate him, into dropping his gaurd"

Personally I think that plan is stupid. Those kinds of plans are always dumb. This is like some teen soap opera sh1t lol "i'm gonna get into his house and win his trust and break his phone". Suppose you get caught? or better yet, suppose your new bf finds out you've been seeing this guy behind his back even though it's not like that? You be screwed.


don't go trying to run some complicated plot, just be straight up real with the dude. Giving men the run around only ends up pissing them off more in the end than if you just be straight up with them

I think you should be honest with both your new man and the old one

All im hearing is lies. Telling your ex that your not ready for something (even though your already involved)....Leading your new bf to believe that you can do no wrong.

why no just be yourself and be honest?

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

It's so funny how Cinamon can fool others for so long into thinking that she's a good girl.
Exciting, too, because the thought of a seemingly very good (&hottie) girl secretely getting nasty almost causes a movement in my pants.

Cinamon, I want to sex you up!


P.s: show me those pics when you get in their possesion, please.

 

[Kailex]

Holy hell woman, stop deceiving everyone in your life. Lying to the ex and giving a 'blurred' perception of who you are to the new one. You are proof of a lot of the principles we advocate on this forum and the reason why Id never have sex and film it.

 

[Cinamon]

Ok, I am going to try to tell him the truth and see where that gets me. he did love me at one point, so maybe he will just delete the pictures and videos, if i asked him nicely enough.

I have learnt my lesson.

 

[amoka]

Visit him one day and delete those pictures from his phone while he is asleep.

 

[DJDamage]

First thing, you should try to talk to your current bf on this. Ask him for advice. Men love to fix problems. He will try to help you out. Even if he can't, he is in control. Men love to be in control.

I think that is a bad advice, she shouldn't be bringing baggage like this to her new relationship. Her current boyfriend would be more pissed at her for having naked pictures flying around instead of the "good girl" he thought he had on his hands.

By the way how did this guy get "resurrfaced" all of the sudden? I like your choice of words because once again it shows that you do not take responsibility for your actions. You choose to talk to him when he contacted you.

You do not go see an ex boyfriend when you are seeing another guy and what buffles the mind is that you failed to mention this to either of the guys about the others thus complicating things.

There is nothing you can do shortly of legal action from a lawyer to try and stop him. Otherwise the best advice I can give you is to dye your hair and wear glasses and go with it for a few years and hope people won't remember the old you.

 

[Joe Stud]

Cinn Baby, here's a thought. Do you know a lawyer? Pay the lawyer $100, and draft up a legal letter (on his official stationary) saying something like: "My client Cinn has retained me. She is very upset and concerned about you taking advantage of her indescretions (namely due to her loving you), of giving you personal revealing photos and movies. I just want to make you fully aware in advance, that if you do slander and defame her character, our firm will be taking legal action in both criminal and civil courts. This will both embarrass you, and cost you hundreds of thousands of dollars. this is a very serious issue. Cinn has immense respect for you, and hopes that you will "do the right thing" and destroy them. Please do so, and you will be appreciated and respected. If not, you will have our investigator at your door with multiple supenas in hand. Thanking you in advance for you kind cooperation. Mr Perry Mason, Esq.

Have him send it certified mail so the a$$hole has to sign for it, as proof of delivery.

95% chance it will scare his a$$, and you wont hear another thing about it. I know because it has worked in some cases i know of.

Ps... If it works, you owe me. I'll take a few of those nudie pics as payment! LOL ~

 

[dap]

Cinamon - the reason he wants to post the photos is to make you angry/sad. You need to make it clear (as best you can) that you could care less about the photos (say something like: "if you think those are bad, you should see the ones my new boyfriend has of me." Say this in a joking manner, of course). Just joke about them and shrug them off as no big deal. By showing that you don't care about the photos (even if you do!), you disarm him and he wont post them because it no longer will fit his plan to make you angry/sad.

Also realize that no one would notice you on this website anyway. in the 1 in a million chance that someone you work with sees it, they wouldnt never mention it to anyone because they would be embarrassed about being on a porn website.