Advice needed. WHat should i do next?

[juan3268]

Ok this is my first post, and well ill introduce my self. My name is Juan I am 25 years old and i Live in the USA. Thank you all for taking time to read this post.

So here is the story. I have been getting to know this Gal since January. So about 5 months of talking and going out on dates. Since i had just gotten out of a relationship back on October, i wanted to take things slower so i had no problem to find out that this girl also liked taking things very slow. Only a couple of weeks ago was when we kissed for the first time, and after that we have kissed each other (the good night peck) almost on every date. Some times she does, some times i Do. Which is cool. We have held hands also and well, I have notice a little bit of change on her attitude towards me, she is more close to me now in a way.

I know that i have done many things wrong in the dating process, but well I am just another human being and i do not have the smoothness of other guys so be easy on reprimanding me. But i know how to be the "real" nice guy. I have been nice to her all the time. For example Last night i went to her house, brought her some Cuban Baked Goods from New Jersey, gave them to her, she said, "ohh you are so nice thank you." I said whatever, i have to go now, gave her a hug and left. It is my nature to be a nice guy, and i never expect anything in return, and she knows that. Anyways here comes where I need advice.

Should i just keep doing things the way i am, for instance, holding her hand, given her a kiss or two every once in a while, (assume she is my GF when we go out on dates) or should I back off and let her initiate EVERYTHING?

I am not sure which way to go, i know that i will never ask her to become my GF or Exclussive with me because that is her JOB not mine. But in the mean time, should i Assume, or back off, or just be unpredictable?

I know this is a long thread but i wanted to provide as much info as i can.

Thanks for reading

JR

 

[NewMan]

Just Wondering....

- Do you pay for all the dates?
- does she do "nice" things for you - i.e. Cook dinners - purchase small gifts - etc. etc.

 

[Nelford]

Make sure you are not the only one investing into the relationship. If she wants to be your girlfriend she will give some type of hint. 5 months and no talk about "where is this going or what are we". LOL

 

[djinhell]

Well, this is a bit confusing. It sounds like a disaster, except you are kissing and cuddling etc...But 5 months is way too long, something smells fishy!!!

I think you need to be bolder with your intent physically...and Im sure you will be rewarded! lol

Let her know you want her, that you find her sexy etc

DJ IN HELL

 

[juan3268]

You are hideously insecure and suffer from nice guy syndrome. You use being nice as a coping mechanism for your perceived lack of value.

Read this book and then come back here:

http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

I could see where you will come in a say that, but no i have no nice guy syndrome. I am just nice, and i never use it as an excuse to get girls. As a matter of fact i am only nice with girls i can see myself starting a relationship. When it is just friends with benefits i do not act this way. And no i do not suffer from being perceived as lack of value. But i will take a look at that book anyways.
Thanks

 

[juan3268]

Make sure you are not the only one investing into the relationship. If she wants to be your girlfriend she will give some type of hint. 5 months and no talk about "where is this going or what are we". LOL

Well no, she has pick up the tab on a bunch of things before, movies, dinner, she made lunch for me a few times. We have been hanging out as friends and i have been dating other girls as well and this girls is one that i will like to try a relationship with. 5 months do seem like a long time, but i guess since we had been dating other people too, i guess it is not really a long time. Well i know I dated other girls, I am sure she dated other guys too.

She has since, introduced me to her mom, grandfather, and many of her close girl friends. I know this may not mean anything but ohh well. I just wanted to see what the other DJ's in the board thought about it.

 

[DJDamage]

I suggest you read the DJ Bible:http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/, because if you go out with a girl for 5 months and only had the courage of kissing her on the lips instead of banging her left, right and centre then something is missing from your game. I am unsure as to why your lady friend has not left you yet because most women are looking for a guy with cojones who isn't afraid to go after what he wants.

You sound very timid and unsure of yourself.

By the way it is interesting to see that you commented to the video posted as my signature on youtube:

"NICE GUYS DO NOT FINISH LAST EVER.

Girls do not like guys who lie, this nerd he is not being a nice guy, he is being a "nice" guy. So understand the message.

Nice Guy: Will do nice things to ANYBODY. Will help when asked and not offer his help all the time to a specific person.
"nice" Guy: the one here in this vid. Will sell out his niceness as a cheap scam to get in her pants and as soon as an honest guys comes about, she goes with the honest one.

THAT IS THE MESSAGE HERE.
Nice: FTW

Nice guy is a guy with no balls juan, she went with a guy that had balls to go after what he wanted.

 

[juan3268]

You are right, i am a bit shy when it comes to APPROACHING women, but not when it comes to take things. And for that i have been reading the DJ Bible. And I do understand what you mean by having cojones. I will change my game with her and see what happens.

About being nice, maybe i have a different definition on my head on being nice. I know i am nice, but i am NOT an KISS ASS like the guy you posted on the video, which was very funny and real. I do not give flowers, or any other stupid presents.

I complement her on accessories if it is something nice. The other night I told her the shirt she was wearing looked like ****. She got upset at me, then she got over it.
I always speak the truth, and it gets me in troubles all the time, but ohh well.
IF and ONLY IF i get to a door before she does, i hold it open for her.
I pay for meals SOME TIMES.
If we go out to a museum or store, I go my way and give her space.
This are the things i do mostly. I hang back, not clingy and always smile when i look at her. That is what i think a nice guy is. But again i may be wrong. I have only 25 years of age and since i was 17 i have been in long term relationships one lasting 3 years. So i do not have much experience.

Although i am not a typical nice guy, maybe i should just grab my cojones and listen to them.

Thank you all.

I suggest you read the DJ Bible:http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/, because if you go out with a girl for 5 months and only had the courage of kissing her on the lips instead of banging her left, right and centre then something is missing from your game. I am unsure as to why your lady friend has not left you yet because most women are looking for a guy with cojones who isn't afraid to go after what he wants.

You sound very timid and unsure of yourself.

By the way it is interesting to see that you commented to the video posted as my signature on youtube:



Nice guy is a guy with no balls juan, she went with a guy that had balls to go after what he wanted.