Advice needed :p

[odawg]

Hi guys

I need your advice pleaseee, as currently I am thinking too much about strategy and I need an outside perspective from somebody unattached to the situation.

So I have liked this girl for a while now, but she has had a boyfriend. She is very connected to my family (she is my sisters best friend, and has turned into a family friend over the last year with her parents being friendly with mine etc.)

She has had a bf for a year and broke up about 2 years ago. When she had her bf she and I had a few 'run ins', as in she may have been overy flirty with me one night and the same with me to her the corresponding night. All may I say alcohol induced, and all with nothing crossing the line. This is because we often went out as a group and we are both attractive people

So she broke up about 2 weeks ago and her sister gave me the good news when I seen her out at club (in the VIP obviously ). I was secretly ecstatic inside but never acted too concerned in case it came back to her.

So comes Saturday night past and I was hanging bad from the night before. My sister who is her best friend asked me to come out with them and another girl, and since I had no better offers I thought I would oblige. My sister did tell me to stay away from her though, because she is just out of a relationship and she didnt want me with her best friend. I tried to oblige.

So we head out to the club and get drunk together. Hit the VIP and a famous rapper from the UK is in the VIP. Me and my crush are also in the VIP and go up and chat to him and his entourage. We all end up drinking together all night and having an amazing night and the rapper and his entourage come back to our place for a party.

We get back to the house and myself and my crush have been kissing basically all night (it was inevitable ) and we skip the party and sleep together. I dont try much funny business but we do kiss and have some fun. We stay together all night and have good fun, though we were both petrified of my sister finding out, but after she found us in bed togther she was sound about it and we all went out for a meal and the cure.

So my sis and her head out the next night, Sunday and I stayed in. I got a missed call from her when she was drunk which I was happy about.

Basically my question is, where do I go from here, given the circumstances:

- she is just out of a relationship for 2 weeks and will probably want to enjoy the single life for a while. I also dont want to be a rebound.

- she is my sisters best friend and will be at my house quite often (at least once a week).

- i havent contacted her directly via text or call after her drunken missed call on Sunday night, though i did leave her and my sis to a club on the monday night and kept all convo light and fun.

- i am sure to see her again in the coming weeks.


She is literally all i am thinking about, insanely gorgeous, very smart and my family loves her. I think she is such a good fit for me and that is why i like her so much, but I know i need a strategy here to get her given that I dont want to be a rebound and she is a family friend.

I am thinking/am playing hard to get and then when I see her just be light hearted, ****y funny, tease and mind**** her and give her competition for girls. But another part of me just wants to be nice to her and txt her and kiss her loads etc, lol.

I know given that she is just out of a relationship I might have to play the slow-game though.....

would like thoughts please. if any more details are needed, just ask

sorry for bad grammar, i couldnt be bothered fixing it...I am a lawyer and I am sick of perfect garmmar all the time

Thanks in advance

 

[Iceberg]

have been kissing basically all night (it was inevitable ) and we skip the party and sleep together. I dont try much funny business but we do kiss and have some fun.

So you mean...you actually slept together. Like, in the literal sense. You slept? That's uh...okay.

Basically my question is, where do I go from here, given the circumstances:

- she is just out of a relationship for 2 weeks and will probably want to enjoy the single life for a while. I also dont want to be a rebound.

You are part of her single life. She made out with you. As for whether or not you're a rebound, who cares? Have some fun. Stop worrying about "the relationship".

If you're the rebound guy, then what happens? You sleep with some girl you've wanted for 10 years, and you get to move on with your life? What's so bad about that? Do you NEED to have an ongoing, committed relationship with this girl? You've never even dated her. You only know her as a friend. A girl as your friend, and the same girl as your girlfriend are two different people. Get your head out of the clouds, and bring it down to reality.

- she is my sisters best friend and will be at my house quite often (at least once a week).

Blah. Who cares. You've already done the deed....well....you kissed her.

She is literally all i am thinking about, insanely gorgeous, very smart and my family loves her. I think she is such a good fit for me and that is why i like her so much, but I know i need a strategy here to get her given that I dont want to be a rebound and she is a family friend.

The only strategy you need is to relax. She's just a girl. And you just kissed her. Stop caring so damn much about the outcome. This isn't passing the Bar Exam. She's a girl. Your life was good before you hooked up. Your life will be good after you hook up.

Right now you sound all, "Oh my god! We kissed! She's so pretty. I hope I dont lose her!"

It's cool to get excited, but you gotta relax. Like I said, it's just a girl. You kiss her once and you're already thinking about putting a ring on her finger. The best way to get what you want from her is to realize that she's just a girl, and you have 100 other things going for you in life.

 

[odawg]

you are right of course, but I am attached to the outcome because I have always been hoping she would be single and marked her as 'the next girlfriend' as she ticks all the right boxes.

I do def need to relax for sure, but to be honest I do want to be able to control the outcome. I dont want to relax if that means she is going to fade away and either get back with her ex of some other mug comes in etc.

I want to relax, but still have a little gameplan for this one