Advice needed on first date

[Kevon]

RAFC here, I recently number closed hb8 at the pet store I work at, she definitely had some interest. I zeroed in on her accent and asked where she was originally from and she said I was the first person to notice it in a long time. That doesnt really apply to my question, but I am more just proud of my road away from being AFC, anyways that was friday night and not calling her till monday night, this will be the start of both our spring breaks, and I plan on giving her 2 option days to go have coffee with me. Question 1, never done the coffee thing before, is it ridiculous for twenty year olds to meet for coffee, so would something action oriented be more appropriate? Also, if the coffee thing is ok, should I try to do something with her after the coffee, or just stick to that? Also, *if you can't tell, I am a little nervous* Is it overkill to pick her up and take her to get coffee?

Haha thanks in advance
kevon

 

[DJHoolahoop]

Well I'm kind of a planned out kind of guy. I try to vision the kind of things the girl goes for ahead of time. I'll try to pick something she'd like only when it includes something I'd normally do anyways.

Here's the thing, girls like to talk and girls usually like going out to bistro's or cafe's or things of that type because it's a friendly environment to get to know one another.

Now the younger girls probably want to party and just go crazy with it and that's when you might decide to take her on a more funfilled evening as opposed to a "lame" sit down at a coffee shop.

Usually by 20 girls have started to calm down a bit and are getting more serious. Not always, but I think you should be in the clear to be able to go to coffee to get to know one another.

Now here's the thing, if she knows you two are going to be meeting up at a cafe and she shows up, then you're in the clear. Notice if she's getting bored of hanging out with you there or not and have a plan in advance to go somewhere exciting.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

20 year old college girls love coffee. They get to pretend they are intellectual, cultured, and mature by simply sipping some java and talking the talk!

Coffee houses are great first dates. The scheduling should be on the fly: call her up, say youve fallen head over heels in love with caffiene, and propose that she meet you at <local coffee shop> on either <day 1> or <day 2>. Leave it at that over the phone, no need to overschedule the evening.

Do not pick her up, its "just coffee," or so she thinks. Drink youre order slowly, if the date is going well then after you finish your cup hand it to the bartista (or throw it out if you dont have china) turn to the girl and say "have you finished your coffee? (yes) Cool, so what now?" Dont wait for her answer, just get up and walk to the news paper stand (every coffee house has one) and pick up the entertainment section of the paper. Look at it together and as soon as you key in on something she has a slight inclination to do, get up, and go. Offer to save her the gas money and carpool.

This is great because it gets caffiene in her blood (makes it so youre mind is workin a lil faster and you cant keep quite still) so you will enjoy whatever you do next. And, being with someone in many spacial areas speeds the process of developing physical rapport and a sense of safety. You get her for 20 min in the coffee shop, for 10 min in the car, and for an hour or so wherever else you go. By the time you are walking her to her car after youre date she will be easily comfortable enough with you for a long kiss goodbye.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

By the way, you look more refined and as a man who gets out a lot and takes his time to know the city when he goes to actual cafe's and places alike as opposed to Starbucks or similar places.

Another note is to have many places on hand, going to the same one will give her the sense that it's your local hang out and that you don't know too many other places.

Then again, take it or leave it.. but it's just what i've come to believe.

And as for the newspaper thing, i like the idea of looking around for something entertaining to do.. but it still might give off the impression that you're just going off of her as well in that you're just going off impromptu.

so i'm sure she won't really care either way as it gives her the chance to pick for herself. But if you do the research ahead of time and check for upcoming events and then find out what she likes. You can say "hey, you said you liked ___ right? Well there's an event going on later today I was thinking about checking out, wanna go?"

two things when you do that, keep it in a comfortable zone for you.. obviously blowing 60 bux to go see something isn't what most of us have in mind... and another thing is that you should try to keep it within something you'd be wanting to go to anyways.

let me know what u think

 

[DrSoSuave]

Clueless men ask girls out for coffee just to have a chat.

 

[Kevon]

care to expand?

I already have a seclude little cafe that I like, and totally agree, definitely not looking to blow 60 on the ordeal. I do know that she is going to school to be a vet, so maybe I will try to branch on that a little bit.

Another note, how long to spend on the phone? It is her cell phone, and I have heard conflicting information, leave a message, or don't leave a message and call back later? Thanks again

-kevon

 

[TDOT]

1) Take her downtown at night after 9pm
hide behind objects and tandemly scare people walking down the sidewalk from 2 different hiding places.

2) Go hiking in a metro or state park after hours like after 12am

don't park your car in the lot though you could get busted

3) go around to 6 or 7 fastfood joints order a boatload of food then leave the line (wave at the guy in the window as you guys driveoff)

 

[Boxer45]

Well i think u should call once and if she doesnt answer wait for about 20-30 mins and call again, this time if she doesnt answer its definately cool to leave a msg, girls hate when people call but dont leave msgs. But dont talk forever, just say hey was up make sure u say its you cus u dont want her to not recognize your voice, and make sure your smiling when your leaving it cus she will notice it when she hears it. But just tell her was up and that u tried to call but she must be busy but to call back whenever she gets a chance. Wish her a nice day and if she doesnt ahve your # then leave it nice and clearly. But thats it, then hang up, no more that5-15secs. But wait for her to call you back, but just to let u know if u didnt already girls are bad at calling back so dont take it personal if she doesnt immediately return your call. But if u dont hear from her in like a day call her again, dont be scared, plus it will show her your interest, most guys wouldnt ever called back. But jsut dont call her more than two times in a day. And if she doenst return the msg wait like 2 days to call her back.


Goodluck.

 

[Kevon]

update, we are meeting for coffee on wednesday, but she said she doesnt drink coffee, oh well, I said she could get a muffin, lol. I kept her laughing the whole time and kept the conversation short. I went a little too C&F I think and said if she was creepy I would leave, she didnt laugh at that but I just played it off. If I went overboard who cares, I dont!!!! I will just get another's number if it doesnt work out. I love the new me

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Originally posted by DrSoSuave
Clueless men ask girls out for coffee just to have a chat.

Is that a fact?

 

[Schlep]

I think guys who don't want to spend a lot of money ask a girl out for coffee/ice cream for the first date. It gives you a chance to decide whether or not the girl is worth your time.

I bumped this to see if a few more of you might give your opinion on extending the first date beyond coffee, or if you cut it off right there? Any FR's on that situation?