Advice Needed from Experienced DJ's ONLY

[TheBaconator]

Even if she is telling the truth this is still a major red flag and chances are things are going to get much worse before they get better. Impaired judgment from alcohol is no excuse, she gave you a sign right there, I still got it for my ex, and I would gladly leave you if I knew I could get back with him like old times. I say drop this girl.

 

[Max Power]

Your saying im not in controll right after ive posted that she's desperate to have me back, Ive told her that i need to think about it for a few days because i dont know if i can forgive her (if thats not an example of ME in controll i dont know what is)

.

No, that's not control. That's her manipulating you. End of story. She disrespected you and you're making up stupid excuses to get back with her, like you could practice DJ skills on her.

 

[Jeffst1980]

>"And i find that im alot more succesful cheating on a gf than trying to get a girl when single. So i do want to maintain this situation (I can imagine someone replying to that, that it makes me needy and desperate, not really because i have other contacts, im just aware that she's the least effort at the same time as being one of the best looking in my phonebook)"

Why on earth would you make a girl your girlfriend if you want to sleep with other girls??

Furthermore, why would you take a girl back after she broke up with you via text after only 2 months??

It looks like you are doing this out of a desire for validation and revenge. You want to see her coming back to you begging, and then, if all goes according to plan, you will drop her when you find a better replacement.

However, it usually doesn't work this way. You are not going to be able to hide the fact that you want her back--she already knows it b/c of this:

>"I said that im guessing thats most likely whats going on with her and she agreed. She said she will follow common sense and go for the guy that treats her well instead of the guy that wasnt intrested and treated her like sh*t."

If you get back together so soon, this is all going to happen again. She hasn't changed. She won't follow"common sense."

If you do keep seeing her, PLEASE don't make her you girlfriend. Be honest and tell her you don't want to be exclusive and then go out and bang other girls. But it's not fair to lie and pretend you two have a future--she's a human being, not a science experiment.

I don't mean to sound overly critical without knowing the situation firsthand, but I acted like this when I was your age and it really turned out awful. But I also know that when I was your age, I wouldn't take this advice, so I don't expect you to, either. The good thing about being in your early 20's is that all this stuff is a learning experience. When it happens later, in the context of a marriage, it's tragic.

 

[TheBaconator]

I agree with Jeff, it really does sound like you now have it out for revenge on this girl, which you shouldn't be. Heck, at least she told you straight up about the ex instead of dragging you along and going behind your back. She let u know he was 1st choice and since he didn't accept you are the backup.

I can understand wanting to have pu$$y on call, but saying you are more successful in cheating on women then being single doesn't make sense. It's just your mindset I assume, you probably don't feel as much of a need for a woman when you already have one so you probably act smoother and don't stress any negative outcomes when you have a gf to fall back on.

 

[Wodan]

I agree with Jeff, it really does sound like you now have it out for revenge on this girl, which you shouldn't be. Heck, at least she told you straight up about the ex instead of dragging you along and going behind your back. She let u know he was 1st choice and since he didn't accept you are the backup.

She left him initially because he wasnt intrested in her, and she was then single and went withought sex for 7 months. I dont believe that she asked him to get back with her she's shown me the text messages he's sent her (they are not nice) and asked me about how to barr phone numbers.

I can understand wanting to have pu$$y on call, but saying you are more successful in cheating on women then being single doesn't make sense. It's just your mindset I assume, you probably don't feel as much of a need for a woman when you already have one so you probably act smoother and don't stress any negative outcomes when you have a gf to fall back on.

Close but not quite there, do you remember what pook said with people being like cats? The cat that looks around the least appears more attractive? And the one being looked at the most appears more attractive?

Having a good looking girl dancing all over me in a club gets me alot more attention from other women, she then rushes off a few times a night to apply makeup, this takes about 10 minutes or more, more than enough time to take down different numbers. It isnt my fault that alot of good looking girls only want to speak to guys in relationships.

I wouldnt say i act smoother its simply a very strong display of social proof infront of me all night that does me alot of favours.

It does ofcourse affect my mindset, i know im getting sex from someone that goes out of theyre way to please me as best as possible so im not going to come out sexually frustrated wondering where the next fvck will be from, but im sure it affects the mindset of others also.

To top it off i dont have revenge in mind for this girl, im 21 remember guys. I know myself and believe that if i tied myself down in relationships up untill i get married i wont have experienced enough different things, and my head will turn when im with my wife and the temptation to cheat could be overwhelming.

Im broadening my experiences, I learn alot faster this way, It will not only solidify my opinion that ive picked the best wife possible for myself in the future, but my head wont be turning with me thinking (i wonder what it would be like fVcking her) i wont need to think it because i will already know.

 

[Wodan]

Bump

 

[Wodan]

All of these tips and rules and writings on seduction are a lot like the Holy Bible, it can all be twisted and translated to support just about any cause you want. That's what you're doing here. You're taking what you're reading around here and twisting it until it fits your situation and justifies a way for you to continue on with this girl. You're putting on a "DJ show" for us and nobody's falling for it. At least I'm not.

Your opinion was to get out, Instead ive turned the situation around so that ill be able to have sex untill i find a replacement. I read and acknowledged your advice, dont be so sensitive.

Sebastionay, keep in mind here that you've requested advice from experienced DJs. I've been in this game for a little over 20 years now. Some guys here have been in it longer than that. Take all of the guys who have responded to this thread and you could be looking at 200+ years of collective experience. We're not stupid. You're not fooling anyone into thinking you're approaching all of this with an experimental, DJ learning/practice kind of angle.

As stated before in an earlier post i value other peoples opinions because it helps broaden my own, It does not however mean that ill blindly follow anything you say, Especially when succesful friends in real life give advice different to yours.

I Opened this thread thinking it will be useful to myself and others that havent yet come into the situation or even for those that wish to refresh theyre memory by posting me advice.

The fact youve been in the game for 'over 20 years' doesnt really mean anything does it, you could have been cautious the past 20 years from all we know and not gained as much experience as an enthusiastic 16year old on his summer holidays.

I approach all experiences in life intending to learn and improve for the next, and thats for me to say not you. Do you think i would be so ignorant as to read a thread youve written where you claim your trying to learn from the experience your writing about and say 'no your not trying to learn, stop trying to fool people'

Grow up! and dont post negative crap because your bored, I do not want to argue with you and you know that the thread wasnt opened for the purpose of arguments.

I respect your opinion that i should wash my hands of her but there isnt any need to post a ton of negative crap for the fun of it.

It's as clear as the light of day to anyone with experience that you're emotionally attatched to this chick to the point that you're willing to invite all of this DRAMA back into your life. Practice my ass. If you really have a lot more game going on when you're in a relationship, you should have already hooked up with some other braud when you were with this one, and you should be with that one now hooking up with yet another one. Yet, here you are going backwards, embracing whatever you can so you can go on farting around with a girl who dumped your ass and confessed feelings for another man.

What your saying there is just negative and doesnt prove anything, Ive had a money shortage lately so ive been in my house with her most the time ive seen her, and no theres not any single women climbing through the window while were in my room :crackup:

So...yeah.. good luck with that. But do me (and the rest of us) a favor, will ya? The next time you have the urge to put "experienced DJs only" in your thread title, don't do it. Because the truth is that this statement is a red flag for all experienced DJs to avoid the thread. It screams "My situation is so important that I need professional help to resolve it". But we all know what it really means is that you can't possibly look at or handle your own situation as the same old routine BS that it really is, which typically means you're not going to like or listen to the advice given to you.

I wrote experienced DJ's only because the standards on these forums are pretty poor as you would expect, something like 40% virgin, plenty of which like to post advice and such, I didnt want someone who doesnt know what theyre talking about to post and make it more confusing for me.

Ive READ not listened to every post and taken each into account.

 

[Max Power]

The point is that it's not just me saying these things. Everyone here is pretty much saying the same thing in different ways: this is not something you should be wasting your time with. Yet every step of the way you've been counter-pointing everything coming your way.

Quite effin' true.

I know we don't know all the inner workings of your relationship with this girl, but we've all had similar situations and from experience we're telling you, you are wasting your time, unless you are Superman, which you seem to think you are (which isn't a bad thing some times).

Now you're flaming people who offered you advice (which I must say has been pretty unanimous) so now you're wasting our time.

 

[guru1000]

Walk Away.

Do not contact her again. If she contacts you, do not give her the satisfaction of responding.

What she has done is played two options. You and her X. Believe me when I tell you, this is not the first time her X has contacted her. She had been spinning plates with the both of you , and he won.

You MUST walk away from this with your self-respect intact. You do this by walking away with a clean break. No Contact.

If she has not contacted you, she WILL. She needs to KNOW that she still has her HOOK in you. This is her Satisfaction and Validation.

Do not give her the Satisfaction of your emotional vulnerability. She must know she has LOST you. She must recognize and FEEL the Mistake down the road. She does not realize it yet but trust me she will.

Break all ties and Move on.

Don't worry fellow Don Juan, there will be MANY more down the road. Chalk this one in the books as a lesson. This lesson to be "Walk Away" if the frame no longer belongs to you.

Keep your chin up and remember this day as a reminder that you never compromised yourself or your self-respect to anyone.

 

[MacAvoy]

You are the perfect example of guys making mistakes and NOT listening to advice, which only leads to digging yourself a bigger hole. In your Previous Thread, we told you not to ask her to be your g/f.

Becoming exclusive with a woman means the both of you talk about not dating or seeing anyone else. The dating with others comes to an end.

Never ask a women to become exclusive. She must ask YOU. She must talk about it FIRST. Why? If a woman hasn't asked you yet it means she is still open to seeing others. She still has DOUBTS about you. Highly interested women don't want you going out with other women.

A woman asking for exclusivity is like a 'marriage proposal'. She is cementing and laying the foundation for true intimacy.
She wants something that's lasting. It is the ULTIMATE test of interest, guys. She is 'proposing'.

If you ask first, you will never know her true interest level. Why didn't she bring it up? How come she is still letting you see others? Why isn't she CLOSING her options? Is she seeing someone else?


_____________________________________________________



You should be free as a bird, flapping around, singing, full of joy with life. Women want to ****** the bird and throw it in a cage (cage = committment). When birds try to fly into the cage, wouldn't you think something is wrong with that bird? After all, who wants a bird that WANTS to be in the cage? No, women want the birds that are FREE, WILD, and BEAUTIFUL. They want A GOOD CATCH. Good Catches do not fly into cages. Only wounded or needy birds do.

What did you do, the opposite of what we tell you to do. You refused our advice but tried saying that you had other options. Well if you had other options, why did you throw them away for a girl that you admitted you didn't even like that much?

You basically smothered her and chased her away. You mentioned that her ex didn't like her and treated her like sh1t. But yet she's sending txts to the nice guy telling him she wants the bad boy.

Do you not see how your screwing this up? Just because you got laid again doesn't mean your golden again. A women will have sex with a man even if she doesn't want a future with him, they are creatures of habbit.

However did you notice how when you stopped supplicating, thats when you finally made progress.

Now if you really had other options like you said in the previous thread, you would get out there and start exercising those options. This women disrespected you. The fact that she did it when she was drunk ONLY shows how little she thinks of you.

This women is of low character. You didn't know her that well and YOU rushed into a relationship with her. Now she has shown her true colours.

The million dollar question is are you going to start being a Don Juan and no longer allow this women to disrespect you or are you going to continue to be her doormat?

You asked for the advice of the experienced DJ's but so far you've only spit in their face. I challenge you to make us proud.

 

[Wodan]

She's coming round in a bit so i dont have time to post a long reply, look im sorry if any of you are offended by what ive said but i feel some of the judgements made have been too harsh considering i get a totally different impression from the situation, Ill continue being honest, and ill give a more detailed reply later. Thanks for your responses.

 

[Max Power]

i get a totally different impression from the situation.

Translation: I'm an AFC.

 

[DonGorgon]

'Hey Seb i feel really sh*ty doing this over a txt bt i dnt think i can be in a relationship there is still feelings there for my ex! think i just need to be single for a while! and i dont want to do anything that will hurt u but im not strong enough to be in a relationship! U deserve better than me! im so sorry hate me if u want i understand!'

Translation - "Hey Seb i am doing this over a text cause i dont respect you or liker you enough to tell you to your face. I dont want to be with you anymore and i am ready to go F some other dudes, including my X who i have been F'ing the whole time i was with you...... I know i am hurting you but i dot care really cause i have been hurt many times.. i think i can do better than you an dont want to settle for you, i deserve better than you... This should hurt enough to make you hate me but i dont care..."

 

[Wodan]

You forget that social constraints change vastly from place to place, women do not ask to be your gf here its as simple as that.

She swore on her families lives and her own last night that she does not want to be with him, and that she wants to be with me only, and that she would never cheat on me.


I think it will last atleast another month atleast, im not bothering to post replies to these silly comments taunting me ive got better things to do with my time.

Ill keep the thread updated.

 

[DJ Noble]

She swore on her families lives and her own last night that she does not want to be with him, and that she wants to be with me only, and that she would never cheat on me.

She's 18. Bottom Line. Don't put too much weight on that statement.

I think it will last atleast another month atleast.

You are saying that, at the very best, you get one more month with a girl who is still emotionally attached to her ex and clearly has no respect for you.

Using her as a jump off to other women may seem like a slick thing to do, but in the end you're only disrespecting yourself and losing dignity in the process. She will know this, see you as desperate, and will revert to her previous devious ways.

im not bothering to post replies to these silly comments taunting me
ive got better things to do with my time.

Like hold on to a decaying, dead-end relationship? When she calls you, don't answer. Look at every unanswered call as a small victory. You reject contact, you reject her - instead of her ultimately rejecting you...again.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

I agree with LJC. However, I'd add why not still f*ck her? You don't have to marry the girl, and you know what she's like, but there's nothing wrong with having some fun if she's a good lay. Then again I'm a slag like that...

 

[Wodan]

I agree with LJC. However, I'd add why not still f*ck her? You don't have to marry the girl, and you know what she's like, but there's nothing wrong with having some fun if she's a good lay. Then again I'm a slag like that...

I dont think its slagish at all tbh, its common sense, she's the agressor in the relationship, the one that always calls and stuff and i dont even answer half the calls to build anticipation and so on, im gonna get one of my most succesful friend to read this thread later and ill see his view on it in greater detail.

in heindsight i should have told her to send her X an offensive text including 'leave me alone' but she deleted the number before i could think of that.

 

[Faded Image]

U deserve better than me

That quote right there means more than you could ever image. I was told that by two of my past GF and it's a tell tell sign of something you would rather not want to know.

I think she kissed him when she was out, and that the guilt from that spurred on the message.

I think it was a lot more than a F'n kiss and the "U deserve better than me" quote only solidifies my reasoning. From my experiences when Xs unite, it's a lot more than kissing goning on.

Anyway, this is your situation and only you have to deal with it, not us.

 

[Wodan]

That quote right there means more than you could ever image. I was told that by two of my past GF and it's a tell tell sign of something you would rather not want to know.



I think it was a lot more than a F'n kiss and the "U deserve better than me" quote only solidifies my reasoning. From my experiences when Xs unite, it's a lot more than kissing goning on.

Anyway, this is your situation and only you have to deal with it, not us.

Thanks i am really greatful for that. I can tell she isnt the right girl for me guys, Im gonna tell her that I cant trust her properly now because of this and for the next two months im not going to be so serious with her, and only if she impresses me over this time will she still be with me, if not then its sound.

Its obvious from the way she goes on... she used to be fat when she's younger and now she's doing all pole dancing lessons and kickboxing and really wanting ego boosts and glamour.

I think she'd be better suited to being with another bouncer, probably one that would hit her around lol. and probably one on the pole dancing club she might end up working for!

Still though it will be good to get a little while longer having sex with a pole dancer, Itl be a boost for my own confidence knowing that ive had relationship sex for a while so that my standards are up.

Ill be on the lookout for a new girl

 

[Faded Image]

Im gonna tell her that I cant trust her properly now because of this and for the next two months im not going to be so serious with her, and only if she impresses me over this time will she still be with me, if not then its sound.

Don't tell her anything cause you'll only set yourself up for further disappointments.

Your best bet is to get out of the water before your're in over your head.