Advice needed from a 3rd person perspective

[yeah!]

Hi guys, unfortunately I have to make this post as I can't think objectively now.

I have been going out with this girl (30 years old) for 4 dates. I was starting to like her. On the last date, she told me she is going on a holiday in a neighboring country next month with a guy friend for a week.

Frankly upon hearing this, I was gutted, although I tried to appear nonchalant about it. I did not probe much more and carried on with the date as if nothing happened.

She has also casually mentioned on the past few dates that she has been out on late night movies and supper with some guy friend. Not sure if its the same person though. I didn't give much thought about it then.

Guys, please give me some advice from your perspective as to what I should do for the next step. (I did not post more details as I don't want to have a long boring post. But if needed, I would.)

Thanks in advance.

 

[5string]

Clearly, she's spinning plates and has no problem telling you she is.

Do you really want her or do you just want to be part of her rotation? You'll have to step up your game to get this one. Sounds like she's very independant.

Advice.....see where it leads and don't get oneitis! My gut tells me this is not the LTR for you. She's not done testing the waters yet.

 

[Slickster]

If she was interested in a relationship with you then she would NEVER let this information out.

With that said you can kind of gauge her intentions of going out with you. Is she just weighing her options? Having fun? Seeking attention? Or a bit of all three?

Regardless her IL isn't very high. Act accordingly and move her down your list.

 

[st_99]

Frankly upon hearing this, I was gutted,

Well, there's your problem.

You shouldn't be gutted at this stage of the game, you SHOULD have a
long way to go before this girl could make you feel like that.

You put the cart before the horse.

 

[Die Hard]

Keep your feelings in check! I fear you have already developed feelings for her too much and if so, you need to get them under control right away.

Who knows, you might eventually get her to regard you as the top dog and make her give up on her wh0rish ways coz she doesn't wanna lose you.

But that's all speculation about the future, you need to concern yourself with the present. Whatever might or might not happen in the future, you need to focus on only one thing now: getting your emotions in check, making sure this woman's actions will not affect your feelings of well being.

Ask yourself whether you would feel okay if you would never see her again after today. As long as the answer is 'no', you got work to do...

 

[Burroughs]

You made up an image in your mind about her before you got to KNOW her.

Big mistake.

She sounds like a cawk tease

Bail

 

[BillieAnn]

OK, totally human! Do not worry, it's just away from it! First thing stay calm! Your responses shall be as if she is already won. Do not give importance to her friend. Do not change the relationship, not react jealously!

 

[avoidthenoid]

FIRST THING: Breath.

Next: Dude, if your into this chick you should ask her in a casual manner where is this going. You've only chilled 4 times but I would suggest asking her. There is a fine line between not giving a **** and being clingy after 4 dates. Also, set yourself apart, be a little unavailable, go on dates with other chicks, or chill with other females and nonchalantly tell her.

You want her to know that your into her but you do have options.

Good luck.

 

[countermart]

Never, ever, ever, ever show that a girl can move you by these types of actions. You do, and you will lose.

Be totally relaxed, like nothing has changed. If she brings it up just shrug it off like you do not care, with an unspoken attitude of, “You run along and have your fun, once you come to your senses you will end up with me anyway, because I’m the best option, and if you don’t it’s your loss.”

...and always have a back up girl.

Oh and do not do what avoidthenoid says, if you want to win this girl.

Countermart

 

[countermart]

...except for breath, that's useful advice, but probably pre-assumed.

 

[avoidthenoid]

Never, ever, ever, ever show that a girl can move you by these types of actions. You do, and you will lose.

Be totally relaxed, like nothing has changed. If she brings it up just shrug it off like you do not care, with an unspoken attitude of, “You run along and have your fun, once you come to your senses you will end up with me anyway, because I’m the best option, and if you don’t it’s your loss.”

...and always have a back up girl.

Oh and do not do what avoidthenoid says, if you want to win this girl.

Countermart

Dude she's 30 coming out saying your "gem" mentioned above may have worked 12 years ago on her and if she had low self esteem. This thread is in the MATURE MAN section and the mature man is direct with his needs but never clingy.

 

[Warrior74]

If you haven't kissed or slept with her, I would say you are being friendzoned. She's been telling you about dating other guys for the past few dates? Sounds like grrl talk tyme! Regardless, it seems low interest. I'd withdraw from the battlefield and look for a new battle.

 

[window]

I have heard the holiday line before...it is woman talk for I want a holiday from you. If she is into you though and she is telling the truth she'll say lets get together when I get back.