Advice needed for hanging out with an alpha

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

Morning gentlemen. So my very good friend is a rock solid savage of an alpha. Great guy. When we go out together just the two of us he completely dominates the room and no matter what if you're hanging out with him you'll either get angry and won't want to hang out with him anymore or you have to be good with sort of being a wingman all the time. I have other ways of meeting women so I'm not really worried about this but what would be your advice on how to best leverage his energy for my own game with the ladies in the room?

My initial thoughts are not to drink too much. I sort of end up just throwing on my hands and getting my drink on. I was also thinking I can use his energy for attention to scan the room and see if there's any eyes that happen to be looking at me because he initially got their attention and it looked up to see who these two guys were.

 

[Stanley]

If you're getting angry with him is it coming from a place of inferiority or insecurity by chance? If it is i'd do your best to let it go.

A friend of mine is the loudest, tallest, and most energetic dude in the room everywhere he goes. He is an extreme extrovert and by all accounts 'alpha'. He is a 6ft6 former college basketball player with a self professed notch count near 200, which sounds about right. When I used to go out with him I used to feel so diminished for lack of a better word. With time I realized I was more jealous of this guys energy and needed to just go with the flow. Once I did, hanging with this guy became way better and he helped me come out of my shell in some ways. His energy and outward influence only sought to serve me if I allowed it to, that and social proof.

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

If you're getting angry with him is it coming from a place of inferiority or insecurity by chance? If it is i'd do your best to let it go.

A friend of mine is the loudest, tallest, and most energetic dude in the room everywhere he goes. He is an extreme extrovert and by all accounts 'alpha'. He is a 6ft6 former college basketball player with a self professed notch count near 200, which sounds about right. When I used to go out with him I used to feel so diminished for lack of a better word. With time I realized I was more jealous of this guys energy and needed to just go with the flow. Once I did, hanging with this guy became way better and he helped me come out of my shell in some ways. His energy and outward influence only sought to serve me if I allowed it to, that and social proof.

I haven't gotten angry at all, and I've been mindful not letting myself go there because I have a fair amount of confidence on ky my own but I'm a human being so I have to be aware of where my own insecurities might take me.

This is really great advice though thanks.

 

[Stanley]

I'm glad you got something out of it.

I actually opened up to this friend not too long ago about how he made me feel by some accounts self conscious. (haha beta male)
Ironically, he said I made HIM feel inferior in entirely different ways. Just shows that most people want the things they don't have and we project ourselves onto others without realizing it. We both have qualities that are entirely different from one another that we both aspire to have.

 

[RazorRambo24]

I would 100% just set your ego aside.. accept that he's a bit more experienced or more confident than you or that he's simply receiving more attention than you.. and be honest about it.. DOn't act jealous and bitter.. One of my best friends, he used to get bitter and jealous when we first started going out many moons ago.. anytime that I got a girl and he didnt.. sometimes when a girl was all over me and thirsty for me, he'd run into the crowd all bitter instead of help me with the set/talk to the other girls. There were even times where I didn't take a girl home because I knew he would feel some type of way.. just to go order some tacos, and then for him to be bitter and eat most of the tacos.. The thing is if we didn't continue to hang and go out, we wouldn't be the beasts that were are today.

The truth is if you continue to go out with him, just be honest with where you are and how you feel. its okay to be vulnerable.. As long as hes not a douchebag, he'll get it and appreciate you.. But if you're juist resentful and bitter and act like it, he'll prob think less of you and be likewhy do i hang with this dude. You can only get better when you have a friend to go out with. If you have no friend to go out with, guss what? you're goin to forever be mediocre in these realms

 

[CollegeMan22]

The only good option when faced with a superior of yours is to submit to their direction and learn from them. Anything else breeds resentment and envy, which will eat you up from the inside. Treat him like a mentor and model for your own game, observe him, and learn from his successes. Then you will improve yourself.

 

[Billtx49]

The only good option when faced with a superior of yours is to submit to their direction and learn from them. Anything else breeds resentment and envy, which will eat you up from the inside. Treat him like a mentor and model for your own game, observe him, and learn from his successes. Then you will improve yourself.

Exactly right, @Whydomyeyeshurt, Observe and Learn …

 

[Stuffnu]

Girls get jealous of there peers - not men.
We all have friends like this and yes, observation is key, but I always used it to my advantage.
He may attract girls to the table but all I did was talk to the ones that didn’t get his full attention. Nothing wrong with bringing home tasty table scraps.

 

[jaymbrs]

@Whydomyeyeshurt you couldve just came to me in person and talked to me about it. You didn't have to go asking SoSuave for advice. I got you next time we're out, man.

 

[The Duke]

What makes you so sure this guy is alpha? Could be a bully/control freak.

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

What makes you so sure this guy is alpha? Could be a bully/control freak.

There might be a little bit of this. He does look to me a lot for approval when he's making his moves. It's interesting because his moves work but he looks to me a lot for my smiles and nods.

 

[The Duke]

There might be a little bit of this. He does look to me a lot for approval when he's making his moves. It's interesting because his moves work but he looks to me a lot for my smiles and nods.
.

Narcissists like to be validated.

 

[Gamisch]

Morning gentlemen. So my very good friend is a rock solid savage of an alpha. Great guy. When we go out together just the two of us he completely dominates the room and no matter what if you're hanging out with him you'll either get angry and won't want to hang out with him anymore or you have to be good with sort of being a wingman all the time. I have other ways of meeting women so I'm not really worried about this but what would be your advice on how to best leverage his energy for my own game with the ladies in the room?

My initial thoughts are not to drink too much. I sort of end up just throwing on my hands and getting my drink on. I was also thinking I can use his energy for attention to scan the room and see if there's any eyes that happen to be looking at me because he initially got their attention and it looked up to see who these two guys were.

The most important thing is you say you pull enough women by yourself. So the desperate and jealous energy isn't that much of an issue.

If anything you should observe and learn. There was a tgread recently called something like; how to have more personality. My take on it is to imitate a man who acts like you would like to act. Why reinvent the wheel again? Perhaps a lotta guys can learn from your friend's characteristics.

True brotherhood is stronger than the simple battle for poosy. It only becomes a problem when only one gets it.

 

[darksprezzatura]

You’re the sum of the closest people around you. It helps me to keep good company around me for my own life.