ADVICE: GF needs "time off"

[Mellowmood]

I have been with this girl for a year now. Honestly I love her and would like to continue with her. But we had a considerable amount of fights lately, because I was doubting her loyalty, which is completely unjustified. Now she said that she needs timeoff to think about wether we should remain together or not. I know my way around women, and I know wen they say that as a bluff, but this time its for real. Id like to add that we always have problems with the families because we are from different religions. She told me that she still loves me to death. I sent her flowers and these are the msgs I received from her on my msn while I was offline:

She sends a link for a song then says:

we were listenning to the song after we made love

the light was dim....we were standing by the window.....and we were in each others'arms...i remember that so well

I got the flowers just now

they are soo pretty

Those are my favorite

i love them

thank u


now the advice im asking is, whats the best thing i should do to completely win her back. I already apologized to her and told her the sweet stuff. Should I back off or should I reply to her msgs (the normal thing in our relationship)?

Im thinking if i back of, i will give her the blessing of missing me, but maybe i will also make it more easy for her to forget me. At the other hand, if I keep on talking to her, it may be just very convenient to her.

HELP!!!


ya and one last thing, I am overseas at the moment, and wont be in her same city until january.

 

[Igetit!]

You said that your GF told you that she needed some time off from the relationship,right? Well,what kinds of things were happening in the relationship leading up to this? The reason I ask is because whenever women are truely in love,or really feel chemistry for a man,this is something that they would never say. So what kinds of things were going on,what kinds of things did the two of you talk about,and how often did the two of you talk to each other and spend time together.

Please be as specific as possible.

 

[Mellowmood]

Thanks for your reply bro. Il give you details. We used to live together until june. Then I moved overseas to work on a project and she also traveled for a few month to be with her family. Everything was going well except for the 3 -4 times we used to fight because i doubted her. And yeah, I broke up with her twice, but I only did that knowing that she would come back to me. Anyways, since I traveled we have been talking almost daily and caming online and stuff. I dont doubt for a second that she loves me. But she has a lot of dignity, and she already stepped on her dignity before to get back to me although im the one who broke up while it was my fault. Im guessing that the last few fights about guys really got into her. In the last 2 weeks we fought about 3-4 times, and i accuse her of lying and such.

did that help?

 

[Igetit!]

It seems to me that you being insecure is what's hurting the relationship.
This behavior from your GF is standard behavior. It's nothing new. It's like when you touch a hot stove, you retract your hand away from the pain.
Nothing strange or unusual about that. Well,this is how ALL women with any sort of dignity or self-respect react to men with low-self esteem and/or insecurity. You also acting like this will kill any attraction she has for you. The way a man feels towards a woman who is fat,bald,flat-chested,has her upper teeth missing and her lower teeth all black and rotten,is how women feel toward insecurity and no self-confidence in a man.

You keep saying that she loves you. And that might be true,but she can love you and at the same time have zero sexual attraction for you.
The way she's acting right now is exactly how women act when the passion they used to feel at the beginning of the relatonship has died off,or is quickly fading. The reason she wants a "break" is because although she still cares for you and still wants to be with you,she no longer feels the feelings of chemistry she used to feel for you,but she won't just things because the chemistry could be back at anytime.

You need to put an end to insecuity man. Women want a strong man,not someone who they have to reassure every five minutes that everything is going to be alright,and that she's not going to leave you.

Kill the insecurity.

 

[Mellowmood]

Igetit!, thanks alot mate. I agree with you 100%, and I will follow your advice. Now what do I do? Do I talk to her, or just do that from time to time, or do I completely ignore her for a while?

 

[Mellowmood]

and yeah, do I declare to her that I wont be insecure no more? does she want to hear that? I think it maybe not a bad idea.

 

[Igetit!]

You can talk to her,just make sure you do it from a positon of strength.
First of all,you need to trust her. Start doing this NOW!!! Some guys might say,"Well,what if she cheats on me?" Well? What if she does? What do you think will happen? You'll feel bad,be hurt for a little while,them maybe you'll break up with her. Next question.

Hey,nobody wants to be cheated on,but what's the alternative to not trusting her? Spying on her,questioning her constatly about where she's been,who she was with,why she didn't pick up the phone when you called her,etc? How could you or her ever just relax and enjoy each other in the relationship?

Anyway,yeah,go ahead and talk to her. It seems to me that she needs a jolt of chemistry from you. And how do you do that? Simple. Be a man. It really is just that simple. Be strong,secure in yourself. Call her up and tell her when the two of you see each other again,you got something special planned for the two of you,and tell her to wear something nice for you.
That's right,I said to TELL her (don't ask)to wear something nice FOR YOU

Telling her you have something planned for her,but not telling her what it is and telling her to wear something for you will jolt her attraction for you,I guarantee you that. Just make sure you:

1:Tell her these things TELL HER,don't ask.
2:When you say it,say it in a stern,dominate,masculine way,not a wimpy voice.

Peace man.

 

[KontrollerX]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471

Read Joekerr's thread on breaks.

 

[Mellowmood]

Igetit - I owe you one. Wanna hook up with her sister? lol

 

[Igetit!]

LOL,you're crazy man. Good luck with everything.
Oh yeah,don't tell her with words you're not going to be insecure anymore.
Just BE secure.

Peace man.

 

[Mellowmood]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=126471

Read Joekerr's thread on breaks.

thanks bro, il read it right now

 

[Metaphysical]

women will come and go man. the sooner you realize this, the better. a lot of tough things are going to happen. you need to learn to relax yourself and not get so worried about if she will leave.

women CHOOSE to be with you.

the minute that desire is gone, just let her go. you would be fighting an useless battle.

 

[IamtheAlphamale]

You need to make yourself stronger. You need to dump her and work on yourself or risk her destroying your self esteem.