Advice(advanced)needed - raising the girl's interest level by cutting off all contact

A-Unit

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Re:

It's hard to see this, with the mind you currently have and the eyes you're viewing it all through, but please bear with me.

Having to ask how to play it means you should go to work IMMEDIATELY on improving yourself. Don't set to "HOW SHOULD I DO IT," the answer will come in time. Once you're through the journey of what you desire, you'll know what you want. But how can we here, who have no knowledge of you or this girl, aside from the font on the screen outlay a strategy for you?

We can't, bro. That's just it.

In Swingers, they made mention that a girl only returns when she "senses" you've forgotten about her, and in all sense, you have. You've become someone new. As you should. Our sense of self is very fluid, so we change almost as much as our skin changes.

If she doesn't ACCEPT your dates, DUMP her. Drop her. Launch her. Tell her fvck off. Seriously, why do you want someone inflexible? Learn to be calm enough to accept what you desire of life, on your terms, on your playing field. So many people sacrifice relationships, as if there's NOTHING else out there, putting their own emotions on tilt with the feeling it's the end of the world. WHY? To live like that, BLAH!

If you're going on her plans, her acceptance, and still even conjuring up plans, you're still AFC, or RAFC, only you're consciously aware of it. Many guys aren't. Break this cycle by putting the full focus on YOU!

YOU ONLY INVITE INTO YOUR LIFE THAT WHICH INCREASES IT.

Whether, it's friends, or girls, you're not here to accumulate 'people'. Alot of people will be deadweight, emotionally, and they'll stick around only to drag you around. They're not bad, you just don't see eye to eye, so cut them loose!

Do you know how many call me occasionally, inquiring how I'm doing, shocked at how much farther I've gone?

Everyone of them. Why? It's no fluke. It's "focusing" with passion. I won't spend an hour with a woman that isn't worth MY TIME. She knows it will be fun, because that's the time I reserve for myself, as well as her. I could be off with my mentor, off working out, off with friends, off with LIFE, and a girl wants a piece of that. It's their nature. It's their nature to find a guy "into society".

The games may work on High School girls, but because so many strategies exist in the real world, girls ARE VERY SKEPTICAL about everything. Absolutely everything. I was reading an email by David D commenting on "when you should call/email." Since the advent of the "Rules" and other programs, as well as the Internet, women are aware of different tactics. It's a turnoff when they sense one. Moreover, if you're dealing with a women who requires that, you have a kid on your hand. What other hoops should you jump through for her? Roll over? Play fetch? Get her slippers? How about castration?

The big deal is, this is your life. Every moment of it. You have complete control over every aspect, and DON'T have to do anything you don't want to do. By supplicating to her whimsical ways you show great flexibility, but even if you make ballsy comments but don't follow up with the actions, she still views your actions, not your comments.

I "used" to play games, and sure, it works in school...but tell me this. To be a guy who makes things happen, engages in his life actively, and the world around him, what type of person would you become?

Do you honestly believe some great catch is going to sit around and play games with you, when some other guy who's working on great things walks buy and offers to take her for a ride in his new SUV to his vacation home?

Be the guy with MUCH MORE EXCITING things to show her than just trick games. Engage her emotions. Make her feel life. But do it on your terms. When you pass the journey of "becoming," you'll know there's no answer, nor no right or wrong one. There's just what you do that's in the best interests of your life.




GL,



A-Unit
 

Barbillus

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Thanks guys. I guess I had to learn all this the hard way to figure this all out and in the long term, I know this experience is for the better.

This chick was the first real and long-term success I had after coming to this site. I fell for her hard... and fast. I let my emotions get involved and I got attached thinking this could be what I was looking for: my first serious LTR. Boy was I wrong.

When she started flaking on me, I kept my cool on the outside, but on the inside, I was upset.
And ever since she went back to school, I always suspected she was hooking up with someone else, but had no proof. Heck, maybe over the summer she was too but I was oblivious to it cause it was a LDR. But last night when I came home from the bar I realized this when I checked her away message and it said she was out to dinner with her parents and "her" boy. Same move she pulled on me last Spring. And to top it all off, she didn't come back home till 8AM this morning( I looked at away msg). So obviously she spent the night with him. Its really tough.... the thought of some guy doing the things to her that I did to her only a few short months ago is like a dagger in the heart. Let me tell you - it hurts a lot.

I just don't get why she did this to me. I am the best, I am the Don Juan, I know every trick in the book! Why me? I am supposed to be in control. The sweet little innocent girl that threw herself at me... now gone, moved on to someone more convienent for her it seems.

I don't think I will ever let another girl get this close to me that fast.
I will never again invest all my eggs in one basket.

Its all really tough, I was raised a catholic and a nice boy by my parents. Ever since birth I have had this mentality drilled into my head. Its a tough shell to break, but I am working on it.

I guess I had to learn it the hard way to figure this out.

Anyhow, thanks guys for being my sounding board and listening and on that note, I am off to the gym!
 
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BGMan

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Wow. Sounds almost exactly what happened to me last year. I have a strange feeling of deja vu.

Only in my case, my oneitis was making out with her new boy in front of me.

Because of this very fact, I NEXT girls if they so much as blink funny. Usually before I even ask for their phone number. Haven't gotten any numbers lately, either.

BGMan
 

Ricky

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Barbillus, I feel what your saying. I have been in this same boat more than I'd like to admit.

I'm not sure the best way to raise interest level. I certainly wish it was easier than having to play games.

I also hate to give up. I don't quit in my career and i hate to do it in personal life.

A-Unit your posts are golden.

Just let it play out Barbillus. Withdraw a bit, that's all you can do for the time being.
 

NewMan

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**
I just don't get why she did this to me. I am the best, I am the Don Juan, I know every trick in the book! Why me? I am supposed to be in control. The sweet little innocent girl that threw herself at me... now gone, moved on to someone more convienent for her it seems.
**

You were not in control

She's not that sweet and innocent.

convienient? or perhaps moved on to someone who doesn't give her what she wants? takes control - and get's her panties wet.



nothings so black and white.

You've got to learn not to put everything into one chickie.
 

What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.

You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Barbillus

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Bear with me guys... I keep all of this bottled up on the inside and this forum is my only way of venting it out...

VENT ON
I have to say though after this experience I had with the chick described in the thread... I am changed for life when it comes to dealing with women. I learned many lessons. Furthermore, the advice given is golden. Focus on yourself.

Its very frustrating.. I find myself asking... why did this happen to me? Why me?
I know the theories of the DJ bible inside out but only in the last year or two I have been having success (b/c I have gone out there and actually applied them!)
Knowing the material and applying it are two seperate things.

If you asked me back in June if I thought this fall I would not still be dating her, I would have laughed. I was so wrong.

I wish I had f-closed her early on. I know I could have done it. But I was thinkign she would still be around 6 months from now and could plan it out for the right time, right moment. I mean at the time she was practically stalking me... how wrong I was.
She did say she was a virgin, and I do beleive that. heck I had to teach thew girl how to blow me and she royally sucked at it! But still I wish I had gone for the f-close earlier on.

I mean I know she had a lot of guy friends all along. I even met some of them and in my opinion they were all tools and AFCs. And I am sure a couple of them she had dated or at least hooked up with. But what I hate the most is how when I last hung out with her... her new "boy" called while I was with her... and when she got off the phone with him, she turned to me and said, "that was just my friend [name]" LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL. Only I find out this past weekend that the guy that called is the new guy she is hooking up with.

This summer I passed up a couple good opportunities to hook up and date chicks that were VERY interested in me. I wish I had pursued those, but I thought this chick was going to be around for the long run.

Last time she was at my house(July), she bought me a teddy bear at build a bear. Very sweet and cute at the time. I look at it and want to burn it. I am thinking of just mailing it back to her, but I know that is not the DJ thing to do.

I guess her standard operating procedure with every guy she has dated is too stalk them, suck them in, hook up with them a lot, buy them gifts, contact them constantly, introduce them to her family, invite them out to dinner with her family... then once she has me comfortably sucked in, move to the next guy she finds herself attracted too. She did this to me, and is doing this to another guy right now.

I just can't beleive she did this to me... who does she think she is? Once she realized that she had me, did she think she could just string me along? No regard for a guys feelings or wants. The material on this site has never been so right. I thought this one was different, holy $hit i was wrong... They are all the same.

And the ONE thing that I hate the most about all of this is the fact that she COULDNT EVEN TELL me she was starting to see another guy. I had to figure this all out through her actions and hear about it through 3rd party sources. She couldnt even give me a call, or send me an IM or email and let me know. What a bytch.
VENT OFF

Never again.

Its been several days now since the stark reality has set in.. but I do feel a lot better. And I know in time, I will look back on this chick and realize it just doesn't matter. And I will laugh.

This experience may have broken me down, but I will recover and be a lot stronger. Thanks guys!
 

feelingloved

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Sounds like my story. What ever happened to that girl?
 
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