Admitting you've been acting like a fool

[RestUnknown]

Not gonna go into details, but last sunday I acted kinda ridiculous against a girl via text (not sexual or anything like that, but bombarding her with texts mainly). That day something bad happened in my family and I kinda lost it emotionally. I told her that already and she said she understood.

Since then we barely talked (I do think she just wanted to let me be because of the event, our family needed to be together). She always initiated, but I barely replied (mainly because of the events, but also because I acted that way). Since friday afternoon I went NC on her, cause I keep on thinking about all that stuff I said and did.

But I just got a text from her asking me why I don't text anything anymore. Is she checking up and she really don't mind what I said, or is she just checking if she still got a hold on me?

And another question, is it then ok to admit that I was a fool? Because I really was a fool and I think admitting when you've been wrong is ok, no?

and yes I’m aware a guy should always keep his **** together, but it is what it is now.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Sounds to me like she is genuinely concerned. No, don’t apologize. Just pick it up where you left off.

By the way you’re writing, it sounds like you’re likely to fallback into the same behaviors. I would encourage you to tell us more specifics so we can better advise you.

 

[Tilex]

I'm not sure what type of relationship you have with her, but you should never feel like a fool or admit being a fool to others.
Having a restricted mentality of looking like a fool will bite you in the @ss in the future. You'll feel mentally caged and start to become more hesitant about being your true genuine self.
I say be free, and don't let anything hold you back.

btw, there's way too much texting involved between you and her. You need to cut that down a bit.

 

[HyenaPrince]

I kinda lost it emotionally.

Did you call her a stupid b*tch?

 

[Suave88]

Not gonna go into details, but last sunday I acted kinda ridiculous against a girl via text (not sexual or anything like that, but bombarding her with texts mainly). That day something bad happened in my family and I kinda lost it emotionally. I told her that already and she said she understood.

What did you text her? "Bytch leave me the F alone, I'm with my family" Sort of thing?

Since then we barely talked (I do think she just wanted to let me be because of the event, our family needed to be together). She always initiated, but I barely replied (mainly because of the events, but also because I acted that way). Since friday afternoon I went NC on her, cause I keep on thinking about all that stuff I said and did.
[/QUOTE]
Ok, this is normal. You are embarrassed, but don't need to make it obvious your life time. You will bore her and any other girl. Do not be pathetic.

But I just got a text from her asking me why I don't text anything anymore. Is she checking up and she really don't mind what I said, or is she just checking if she still got a hold on me?
[/QUOTE]
You making it a big deal. I believe she doesn't care. Is she checking if she still got a hold of you???? No, but this is my opinion. I don't know the girl. Now, what you are going to tell her. I don't fvcking know.

And another question, is it then ok to admit that I was a fool? Because I really was a fool and I think admitting when you've been wrong is ok, no? NO! The notion of being a fool is based on your perception. Do not admit to being a fool and don't even mentioned the topic anymore. Move away from it. Sweep it under the rug. No more talks about what happened.

[/QUOTE]
and yes I’m aware a guy should always keep his **** together, but it is what it is now.
[/QUOTE]
Again. Forget bout it. You gonna bore the bytch. Is she your girlfriend or some1 you are dating?

 

[logicallefty]

Yes, admitting when you’re wrong is ok. Those who never do are often narcissistic.

At this point, I might say “I’ve been really busy lately but would still like to see you. Are you free day-x ?” If she givess you anything but a solid yes or counter proposal, tell her you have a lot going on and don’t have time for a lot of small talk texting anymore. And ask her to hit you up when she is free and wants to see you in person and you will see if it works for you at the time.

 

[17 shots]

Men lose so much, that even when they're winning they can't realize it

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Men lose so much, that even when they're winning they can't realize it

Explain. Are you saying our interaction with that gender is a net loss of varying levels from minimal to huge?

 

[17 shots]

Explain. Are you saying our interaction with that gender is a net loss of varying levels from minimal to huge?

Men are so used to women using them for money or attention, ghosting them, or just having ulterior motives, that even when there is nothing insidious at play, they still have to analyze every interaction, in fear of the perceived inevitable. Dating is fun when you're just going with the flow, and you don't know what will happen next, but guys have allowed past experiences to rob them of that fun. They are playing chess inside their mind, when nobody even pulled out a chess board

OP has a girl, that even after him snapping on her, is initiating contact to check up on him. She's asking him why he's gone cold... and his thought process is, is she checking up on me just to see if she still has a hold on me?... Now does that happen sometimes? Yes, but that way of thinking is not natural

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Men are so used to women using them for money or attention, ghosting them, or just having ulterior motives, that even when there is nothing insidious at play, they still have to analyze every interaction, in fear of the perceived inevitable. Dating is fun when you're just going with the flow, and you don't know what will happen next, but guys have allowed past experiences to rob them of that fun. They are playing chess inside their mind, when nobody even pulled out a chess board

OP has a girl, that even after him snapping on her, is initiating contact to check up on him. She's asking him why he's gone cold... and his thought process is, is she checking up on me just to see if she still has a hold on me?... Now does that happen sometimes? Yes, but that way of thinking is not natural

In the world of power, control, time, money and energy, don't they usually come out ahead even if they are just hanging out with us? The time and energy waste is greater than it is for them?

 

[RickTheToad]

Not gonna go into details, but last sunday I acted kinda ridiculous against a girl via text (not sexual or anything like that, but bombarding her with texts mainly). That day something bad happened in my family and I kinda lost it emotionally. I told her that already and she said she understood.

Since then we barely talked (I do think she just wanted to let me be because of the event, our family needed to be together). She always initiated, but I barely replied (mainly because of the events, but also because I acted that way). Since friday afternoon I went NC on her, cause I keep on thinking about all that stuff I said and did.

But I just got a text from her asking me why I don't text anything anymore. Is she checking up and she really don't mind what I said, or is she just checking if she still got a hold on me?

And another question, is it then ok to admit that I was a fool? Because I really was a fool and I think admitting when you've been wrong is ok, no?

and yes I’m aware a guy should always keep his **** together, but it is what it is now.

 

[17 shots]

In the world of power, control, time, money and energy, don't they usually come out ahead even if they are just hanging out with us? The time and energy waste is greater than it is for them?

As long as a man doesn't over value sex, women hold no real power.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

As long as a man doesn't over value sex, women hold no real power.

But they usually bleed a man of his.

 

[17 shots]

But they usually bleed a man of his.

The best screeners thrive I suppose, and that goes back to OP. His screening is counter productive. If a man rejects women with no real evidence of foul play, but then allows women with clear signs of bad intention to stay around, then he gets no where

 

[HyenaPrince]

As long as a man doesn't over value sex, women hold no real power.

Mainly, yes. Some men have spiritual holes though. They often use woman to fill these holes to avoid feeling lonely. This fear of loneliness is so obvious that women sense it and take advantage of the man's weaknesses and play him like a fiddle.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

The best screeners thrive I suppose, and that goes back to OP. His screening is counter productive. If a man rejects women with no real evidence of foul play, but then allows women with clear signs of bad intention to stay around, then he gets no where

What kind of bad intention?

 

[RestUnknown]

Ok she was playing me.

I answered yesterday I was busy and would text her later, cause I was. In that text I also said it was nice I heard anything from her. Later that day asked her simply how she was, basic replies.

Today texted her something, no reply. Thought she was mad, so just explained I didn’t text her cause I was busy with family and that I wasn’t myself, so that I didn’t want to bother her.

She simply replied that she’s glad I’m ok, on which I just asked how her day was going. But nothing anymore for over 3 hours and I know she read it.

I’m not overanalyzing this, cause she isn’t/wasn’t like that. So either I did something wrong and it’s overor she’s still mad. I don’t know.

 

[17 shots]

I’m not overanalyzing this, cause she isn’t/wasn’t like that

you weren't like that either when you were being weird with her. Maybe she has a life outside of you as well, everything isn't about you. She probably started talking to another guy while you were being emotional and distant. Now you want to come back around, and have her act the exact same way as she was before. Life doesn't work that way, just give her some time. She was patient and gave YOU time, right? Be glad she's even messaging you back. You need to check yourself

 

[17 shots]

Is this even your girlfriend OP? If she's not, then imma pray for you

 

[lostintime]

Men lose so much, that even when they're winning they can't realize it

Profound as F*CK.