Addicted to Chaos/Rage

[Ragin_Asian]

As you can tell from my sign in name, Ragin Asian has a lot to do with my temper sometimes. I find that I get frustrated and even jump into chaos after living life doing great things. It's like all these times I'm doing great (either as a DJ or just normal everyday living) anger just steams up until I break out. I kinda need to vent out my anger then after that I feel better. Most of the time I can't sleep at night because of residual anger or frustration. Sometimes I cant control it.

Sometimes I get the urge to start sh*t with the girl I'm with even though she hasn't done anything wrong (by the way I dont hit girls. I just wanna vent some steam) I only vent out around people I trust or comfortable with, so thats a bit weird and unfair on them.

My situation is like those abused women who form violence as part of their relationships and look for an abusive husband. But mine is not as serious as that. I dont get physically violent with anyone but I get very crappy and irritated. My theory is that its the repressed anger from younger years when I couldnt express my emotions and deal with it. (as in Banner in the HULK) Lol I dont turn green by the way and inflate into a mini-hulk. I usually punch the sh*t out of the college fridge or doors. Im not tryin to prove anything and I dont most of it when Im im alone.

By the way a mate of mine has a more serious thing goin. When his pet bird died he went out and picked a fight with the football team. Hows that for Mr Furious. lol

I've been doing good things with girls for a while now. But anger creeps up on me and need to vent it out on something. I've channelled it thru doingd things like running or lifting weights so anger is not all that bad. its like excess testosterone but I'm sure some one will have a better explanation or solution.

Soon to be editted cos I have to go to work......

 

[MetalFortress]

Buy a heavy punching bag, hang it, and wail on it until you bust it open. Then buy another one.

 

[biker_gixxer]

Come here so I can beat your head into the ground, that will settle your ass down, lol.

Emotions are very powerful, even addicting. If I were you, I would start seeing a counsler of some sort to find out why 'exactly' your feeling this way. Your dealing with it, which is good, but it's important to find out the 'cause' so you can fully control it. A guy who isn't in control of his emotions is very unattractive to any female #1 and #2, is shows weakness.

Good Luck...

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Just pray to God you´re not a Borderline man (BPD)...

 

[Miroku]

Given the fact that (1) you acknowledge it's a problem, (2) it affects your daily life, and (3) you don't feel you can control it totally, consider seeking help from a professional. There are people who will think going to a therapist automatically makes a person crazy, but personally I think it's crazy not to go to one if they can help you. Speaking with one in my not-professional opinion is the easiest option of anything regarding behavior.

I'm a psych major, but I don't know much except that from what you wrote, it would suggest at least a meeting with a clinician to first determine if it's within or outside of your control. You hinted it had something to do with your past, so I'm guessing your anger management issues could be solved in a relatively quick time with a therapist or counselor you like. I know you can control it for the most part, but it doesn't mean you have to live with it if it's a pain in the ass.

If you're in college the therapists are free for like 20 or so visits, so take advantage of that. If one on one doesn't suit you, try dropping in on an anger management group (which I'm pretty sure is full of guys) to see if that sheds any light on what you're looking for. If you're understandably hesitant of making such a move for help, I'd just google "anger management."

 

[sharpshooter]

hey man..don't worry about it. I have the same problem sometimes. I'm calm, but at times of stress i'm somewhat driven on emotion and passion.

Yesterday @ college I got sooo angry in class, that I had to walk out...went to the closest washroom and broke the toilet stall door by kicking it in! So your not alone. The best thing to do when you get angry is to channel those angry thoughts into progression based thoughts. Do this by telling yourself that the anger your feeling isn't gonna get the best of you, and it's gonna motivate you to surpass anything you're angry about. I also lift weights, and it seems like after I work out i'm in my happiest mood (due to the release of edorphins). So continue doing that for sure. As long as your just hitting the fridge and not someone else, it's all good

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Good posts lads.

Yea when I do feel like ragin I always try to channel it towards doing somehing positive and productive. But sometimes I'm at a situation where I just get an overload of emotions where it comes out sudden and spontaneous, things become uncontrollable and I would feel much , much better after I do something about it straight away. Most of the times they weren't the smartest things to do but at that time it felt right and I couldn't give a flying f*ck about the consequences.

Sometimes I would ring up an ex just to start arguing (verbal boxing lol). Its an up and down ride for both of us and I'm starting to realise she does enjoy it as a challenge or she maybe craves a lil fire once in a while. Funny world eh. For both of us its an escape from the repressed lifestyle where you are not allowed to express your feelings and to bottle it up for society's sake.

Yep you are right when you are saying that its not an attractive trait to have when it comes to women. But as a keen fella like myself I'm finding out ways to turn this weakness into a positive one.

Funny thing as of this morning, my mother suggested getting a punching bag for fitness yet she doesnt know I get angry that much.

Im usually calm and collected and been complimented which is a paradox. But I feel like a sleeping volcano that needs to ease off a lil pressure. It's not like I rage everyday but it usually happens every month or 2 when I'm under a lot of pressure.

It's sometimes hard to control because its like automatic and feels like a fire in my chest. My heartbeat races and I get VERY tense and restless. It's like an anticipation to war or something lol. The only way I get it out of my system is to let it out through aggressiveness (not necessarily physical violence but like an instant hit of adrenaline or testosterone) otherwise its just gonna get stored inside me and I'll be pissed off for the rest of the day or week. It's dangerous when I get behind the wheel.

Here's what I've done about it so far:
*Lift weights. Aggression is good and gives you that extra boost.
*Running. I find running uphill gives me a explosive buzz that makes me say, "Yea, that's right, b*tch". A very good feeling.
*Get active. I'd go and do something but usually lacks a certain finesse lol.

Keep up the good work lads.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Im starting to handle most of the issue. I find that fixing and sorting it out myself helps a lot more than going to a counsellor.

One thing guys, I kinda argue with my ex a lot about lil things. It seems like I'm itchin to start sh*t after like months or so then I worm my way into talking to my ex and taking it all out on her. The most perverse thing about it that I kinda enjoy it and feel relieved getting rid of that tension inside me...Part of the reason I take it out on her is because shes partially at fault so it seems kinda fair but I still kinda hung up on her. Yeah guys I know Im gonna get flamed so bad on this and its very childish. We seem to take this as if its playful wrestling but every girls different and the next one might just bail since its pathetic.

Anyways enough of my rant...

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Ok this, could be compared to women's monthly rags...

Yea Im kinda getting fired up easily after weeks of smooth sailing. goin to the gym and jogging is wearing off its effect. I feel like startin sh*t wit my ex or snappin at family members lol. It's really frustrating cos since I'm on the process of self-improvement and I kinda ruin it when I get on these anger fits.

I think its some sh*t between me and my ex that unresolved. Yea I kno guys its stupid. I just need a way to control it before it totally controls me.

Any help guys?

 

[Delta]

hmmmm....

well an immediate thought that comes up is WHY ARE YOU ANGRY?

most of the reasons will undoubtedly sound like psycho babble bs but that stuff has merit alas.

nature or nurture. you're either hardwired with anger - in which case it's your 'meat'... or you have a psychological reason for it.

most of the time, it's not TOO difficult to just think through and dig up these things on your own if it's psychological but it's pretty hard to work through them on your own.

sometimes if you feel powerless about something or if you're really afraid of something deep down, it can sublimate into rage.

weakness and anger go together.

but that's not to imply that you're weak or anything like that... but do you feel particularly vulnerable about anything or feel inferior - whether you are or not?

delta