Add on to: "SHE'S DANCING WITH SOMEONE ELSE!"

[Wolfjay]

Hi everyone! This is basically my last post but with added lines, pls read all of it so u can best answer it.
There's this girl I've been going out with, hanging around, and on top of it all sleeping with her, she's one I'm really into, you know the one I'm having a crush on, but I know she slept around with a few others I know, but that didn't bother me, were very close, but nothing bothered me. Until she called me telling me she's going to that bar with her 'girlfriends'... Ok, I came in there like half hr later, and see her dancing with some random guy
.. I went over to say hi and expected her to come with me, but apparently she started dancing with that guy for like an hour or so, I was very hurt, not to mention that I felt like everything we had in bed or whatever was just for 'HER' fun, so what should I do here? Tell her about it? Break up my connection with her? Keep on like nothing has happened? Again, she's not my 'GIRLFRIEND'.... we just didn't go the extra mile... Plus, and this is where the real story begins.. If it's the case that she's NOT my GF then why would someone think that she did anything wrong? We're very very close, yes, we slept, kissed for hours, and much more.... But I specifically told her a few times that we're not commited to each other.... Would anybody here do the same? Would anybody hurt the way I did? Would u consider it disrespectful or not loyal? Or would u just take it as like it's totally normal?? I don't know where to start.... How can I MAKE her for my girlfriend and not come off needy or desperate especially after all that happened? Can I trust her? Pls help me out here... I'm really confused here! TIA

 

[Soolaimon]

I already told you what to do. Look for other girls.

This girl is not girlfriend material when she is sleeping with other guys besides you dancing with other men when you meet her at the bar.

You can't "make her your girlfriend". She has to want to be with you for that to happen. So far she is showing no signs of wanting to be exclusive.

Look for other women. If you ever become exclusive with her. That is an IF she will end up cheating on you.

Stop being so needy.

Read my last post I wrote in your last thread.

 

[The411]

I already told you what to do. Look for other girls.

This girl is not girlfriend material when she is sleeping with other guys besides you dancing with other men when you meet her at the bar.

You can't "make her your girlfriend". She has to want to be with you for that to happen. So far she is showing no signs of wanting to be exclusive.

Look for other women. If you ever become exclusive with her. That is an IF she will end up cheating on you.

Stop being so needy.

Read my last post I wrote in your last thread.

She doesn't care what you think anyway. Your post was useless advice to a dude who has a chick who could care less care what advice you give online or off.

You are a failure with chicks.

 

[Thorninmyside]

This is not an add-on. It's a reboot! Time to recast the plates though!

 

[Mike32ct]

1. Did she actually INVITE you to the bar? Assuming that she didn't, I think it was a mistake to go there. As one poster mentioned in the previous thread, it can come across as stalker-ish or you are "checking up on her."

2. The other thing is, there is a difference between social dancing and dirty/intimate dancing. The former is totally ok for "taken" people to do with others. The latter isn't. I wasn't there, so it really depends on HOW they were dancing.

3. Lastly, and most importantly, you told her "...a few times that you aren't committed to each other." By saying that, you confirmed "friends with benefits" status and essentially gave her a free pass to do ANYTHING she wants with other guys on the side. So actually, she's technically free to almost anything with other guys. She technically isn't restricted to social dancing. She could get down and dirty with another guy if she wanted to (secretly).

Please understand, I'm not trying to take her side, but to just honestly help you see what went wrong.

 

[zekko]

Sounds like this girl is a slvt. Do you really want a slvt for a girlfriend? Would you ever trust a slvt? Don't let yourself become emotionally involved with a woman of questionable repute.

 

[Daniel_March]

Wolfjay, you sound like a good guy and I feel your pain because I have been in situations like this myself.

Maybe I am wrong, but from what you have said it seems that you two have agreed on being fVck buddies. That type of friendship means allegedly that the two people are not committed to each other, they only meet for sport.

Ask yourself, does it make you feel good that she was dancing with another dude even though she was with her "girlfriends"?

Does it make you feel good that she is not committed to you?

Do you feel like you were disrespected?

Then decide whether you should continue interacting with her.

P.S.

If you want a girl friend, from what you posted about that girl SHE IS NOT THE ONE TO CHOOSE.

After all it is your decision and we will back you up either way.

 

[Wolfjay]

What if I'd tell her that she IS my girlfriend..... She mentioned it a few times to me that she'd I'm someone special to her, we sat for hours and hours, but I always said that I don't want any strings attached, so what if if I say yes??

 

[Alvafe]

What if I'd tell her that she IS my girlfriend..... She mentioned it a few times to me that she'd I'm someone special to her, we sat for hours and hours, but I always said that I don't want any strings attached, so what if if I say yes??

then you would lose the sex part and she would bbe too busy to be with you, serious if you want anything with this woman then you need to stop caring and start to sex up other woman, she need to feel you will stop seeing her if you find a better quality woman, and that is not soemthing you do by saying anything to her, she need to feel it, and serious when that happen you will not care about her anymore because you find a better deal, so move on dude, there is nothing here to save for teh experience on dealing with a slut

 

[marmel75]

Dude you are playing games with yourself at this point.

YOU obviously want her as more than a fvck buddy, but seemingly don't want to put the full effort in to be her boyfriend. So this basically comes down to you need to stop playing games with yourself.

Either you want her as something more than a fvck buddy or you don't. Obviously by your actions you do want her more than that, or maybe its just because your ego can't handle that she would do the same thing you are doing to her because she should be obsessing over you.

Doesn't always work like that bro...yeah the advice given here will work in the MAJORITY of cases, but there are always exceptions to the rules. If you took the same situation and something worked 70 times out of a 100 but didn't work the other 30 times, the advice is always going to be to go with what gives you the best percentage chance to win. But really, that's all it is. Its playing the percentages. You still have a decently large percentage chance that its not going to work the way you want it to.

Maybe she is simply a slvt, or just likes sleeping with other guys the way you like sleeping with other women. Either way, you need to figure out what you want from this situation and then get it. f you aren't willing to put the effort into a relationship then you need to accept the fact that she is going to likely be seeing/sleepnig with other guys

 

[Bible_Belt]

Have you not yet figured out that she was trying to make you jealous? Not only did it work, you never even saw what she was doing.

Jealousy is AFC behavior, and women react negatively to it. But like a lot of other AFC behavior, it works if you're the guy she already likes. Wait until the two of you are together again and about to have sex, and whisper in her ear that seeing her dance with another guy made you jealous. She will love that, it will build the emotional connection that is really what gets women off, and she'll fvck your brains out. That's making something positive out of what could be very negative.

 

[Wolfjay]

Lol @biblebelt, I'd love to do that.... But of all the advice I've seen on here, I've never seen someone telling me to do that... They'd say it'll make me look insecure, correct me if I'm wrong

 

[Bible_Belt]

If you had yelled at her while she was dancing and ran away crying (I have actually seen guys do that) or sent her a bunch of whiny text messages, then that would certainly work against you.

Jealousy is anxiety over something you don't have, which is why you have to wait until she's in bed with you again to tell her. Obviously at that point you have her.

It's just pillow talk, anyway. Things are different in bed.