Actually looking for a meaningful relationship, is it possible in this scenario?

[Jhcl4000]

Backstory:

I'm 19, she's 18, she works at my gym, been on one date with her, only girl I've ever liked past physical appearance (personality).

Making a long story short, I'll give you the information her friend gave to me (all bad):

You may be too nice for her, she likes ass-holes, she likes guys who play hard to get, she got out of a LTR of 3 1/2 years not too long ago (she moved and the guy started being a massive creep and jerk), wants to be single, she likes to party, she likes to drink, she smokes weed regularly, she's sleeping around (supposedly has *only* slept with 3 different guys, which wouldn't be bad, but it isn't the number, it's the situation that's worrisome), supposedly guys **** her and never get in touch with her again (when I heard this I thought, "probably more than 3 guys..."), has blown me off once (were supposed to workout together) because she believes that I would think that she is fat (low self-esteem too?)

^That is all "friend info" and may or may not be the complete and accurate truth.

Some **** about me:

1.) Don't drink or smoke at all.
2.) Never been big into partying or drugs. (kinda wanna try X though... Lol)
3.) Young, but I think these "games" people play are insanely immature and unnecessary.
4.) I've always been a "nice" guy and shy (just recently "broken out of my shell" and I know almost everyone in my gym now, can't even remember all their names), and people describe me as "nice", but I find it slightly odd, because I'm not overly nice, I don't kiss ass I just say hi. I mean ****, is it really a sin to hold doors for your date?

I guess I should mention SOMETHING positive... Her friend wants her to date a "nice" guy (actually said I should give her another chance), a guy she and I are friends with in the gym said the same thing to her, she *SEEMS* to be attracted to me (I am sexy as hell, though haha), she *SEEMED* to have a pretty good time on the date (lots of laughing, smiling, not much "awkward silence," good EC even a couple times when we weren't saying anything, I saw some good body language, and she *SEEMED* very "open" at the end of the date, meaning she would talk without being asked questions), and the most important thing: I actually like her.

Oh, I was kind of a **** to her recently when she asked me if I liked her new tattoo.. I said, "Cool, I guess, it's alright," with a fake smile but not even maintaining EC and I just walked away to go workout. <That actually happened BEFORE I talked to her friend, who questioned me about it and didn't even believe my answer of "having a lot of things on my mind and being busy lately," it was a lie, though haha. I actually asked her out again for today and she said "yeah, hit me up," but it snowed 2 feet last night (bwhaha just my luck).

And this was the "short" version!

 

[Jhcl4000]

I'll take that as a no...

 

[Soprano]

a meaningful relationship? u've only been on one date from what i got from that lol spend more time together and find out

 

[SharinganUser]

Sleep with her, then sleep with her again, keep doing that and eventually you'll be in a relationship.

 

[Jhcl4000]

Got another date with her for Saturday night. For some reason I felt like I was back to square one because of what had happened and because of the information I got. Planning on going bowling so I can make fun of her, and possibly myself since I never bowl, then probably going to head to the mall and walk around so we can talk some if it isn't too late. If it's going really well and it seems like she's feeling me I'll go in for a kiss.

 

[shaunuk]

OK look mate. You're pretty much casting the whole situation in a bad light and messing yourself up in the process. You have got another date with you. That means she likes you enough to go on a date with you. . .you don't "see if she's feeling you". You have a date with her - if you don't try to kiss her. . . you have fvcked up severely. You shouldn't be viewing getting a kiss as a big deal at all.

You shouldn't be thinking of a meaningful relationship at all. Your first priority should be getting into her pants. You don't even know her yet - but if you play your cards right, you could be banging her on saturday night. Chill out, go on your date, and make your move. Getting her alone at some point will be necessary to fvck her obviously. Just be normal - she already seems to like you. Good luck.

 

[xdreamz]

i disagree.. i talked to my roommate today and he said the first thing he thought of when he met his girlfriend was "i want this girl to be my girlfriend". it's kind of putting the end in mind which is good for focus. i also noticed that he also proceeded to get physical as soon as possible. GO FOR THE KISS. but if it is too forced then it will turn out bad, you have to find out for yourself and make it as natural as possible with boldness.

 

[sodbuster]

OK, she drinks,smokes weed, parties, and you don't? OH MY GOD! marry herNOW[sarcasm, in case you missed it] You are thinking she's the love of your life? Date her for a couple months,pop your cherry and break up with her[you will]. If you don't have compatible views on how life should be lived, it will never last.

There IS no pressure on you,kiss her right when you pick her up.She isnt GF material for you,you are just too young,dumb and full of come to realize it. dating a party girl is fun for a bit,they ARE fun. but then, you see the other side of it-the lack of responsibility,ambition,goals etc. It just turns into disgusting work. SO you'll break up and find one more to your liking.

Unless you are willing to turn into "party boy"

 

[Jhcl4000]

OK, she drinks,smokes weed, parties, and you don't? OH MY GOD! marry herNOW[sarcasm, in case you missed it] You are thinking she's the love of your life? Date her for a couple months,pop your cherry and break up with her[you will]. If you don't have compatible views on how life should be lived, it will never last.

There IS no pressure on you,kiss her right when you pick her up.She isnt GF material for you,you are just too young,dumb and full of come to realize it. dating a party girl is fun for a bit,they ARE fun. but then, you see the other side of it-the lack of responsibility,ambition,goals etc. It just turns into disgusting work. SO you'll break up and find one more to your liking.

Unless you are willing to turn into "party boy"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiUXa_MvqLE

 

[Jhcl4000]

Alright, I've actually got a question. I made the mistake of telling my friend who lives pretty close by that I have a date for Saturday and was going to take her bowling. So he's saying that he wants to meet me at the bowling ally with one of his friends (some girl). Should I say it's fine, tell him I rather it be just my date and I, or actually ask the girl I'm going out with if she's comfortable with it?

She has never met my friend, and neither me nor her have met the girl he'd be bringing.

 

[Jhcl4000]

Alright guys... Bad update.... She said yes to going out today on Wednesday, so I called her to make sure, no answer. Texts me a couple minutes later that she's at work so I text back "just makin sure we still on 4 2nite." I get a long text back: "Actually I can't tonight. I forgot tonight was my mom and brothers last night here. I have to go out to dinner with them." I'm not totally sure what I should say back or what to think. "Alright" and just never really talk to her again? Or something saying that if she wants to go out at any time let me know, or let me know when she's free (kinda AFC sounding). I really dunno what to do or say at this point since it seems like she may not be interested because she didn't say anything about going out another time, just "I can't tonight." Advice please? What should I do/say back?

 

[PlaysToWin]

Say nothing to her. Start looking elsewhere. Maybe she contacts you at some point asking you out again but tbh you're better off without her and if she does ask you out, in your shoes I'd probably just decline. She's not what you're looking for. Move on.

 

[Jhcl4000]

I'm in agreement with that. Same thing my father told me. Especially good advice considering her myspace says that she's hanging out with a friend today.

God damnit... Why does the first girl I'm interested in in a long while have to be a total PoS?

 

[wjh]

Well, you're a nice guy and the hot girls your age don't really like nice guys. Sorry to break it to you. It's not your fault, though. They're just immature at this age.

The whole DJ thing can be pretty powerful because for a lot of guys the whole strategy for seduction is taking some bad boy elements and mixing them with whatever your end goal is. It sounds like you want a meaningful relationship, so you know what you want and that's good.

What you'll have to do is figure out those bad boy elements, the push/pull, sexually infused tactics that we talk about on here, and incorporate them into a filtering mechanism that combines other methods like maybe anti-dump's machine. You have to be conscious of what you want and take the information that's presented to you and think rationally about how to proceed with these girls. If you let the emotional aspect of a woman's sexuality and femininity drive your actions you're going to continually make the same mistakes. You have to be in control of your own actions and own up to them. YOU have to be willing to walk away when a girl is not what you want, and find another 3.

Meanwhile you create and explore all the other non-female things in your life that you want. You create a better life for yourself, so that you don't fall victim to a mentality that requires a woman, any woman, to be happy. You have to develop an abundance mentality that gives you the confidence to easily walk away from a HOT girl if she doesn't submit to your frame.

 

[Jhcl4000]

I've been reading up on this DJ stuff and was planning on using some of my knowledge on the second date, but I guess I ****ed up on the first date by being too nice so now I don't get another chance.

 

[Jhcl4000]

I've been reading up on this DJ stuff and was planning on using some of my knowledge on the second date, but I guess I ****ed up on the first date by being too nice so now I don't get another chance.

I knew it was going to be awkward in the gym, but wow, it is awkward haha (don't really care though). Women truly are special. She's a ***** to me, and cancels on me, and she is acting like I did something wrong? Ignoring the **** out of me? Jesus, I have A LOT to learn about this special breed... I really don't know what this chick is playing. I'm about to leave the gym and always get a drink of water from the fountain before I leave, so I walk over there, and it seems like she purposely timed some **** out because she comes walking up behind me and says "Hey, what's up," I turned around and she has just made a call on her cell, and I just thought, "Wow, what is this ***** playing?"

Just wanted to add, I HATE SUNDAYS!!!