The real answer is neither. Neither an activity date nor a coffee date is a good first date in most cases.
The biggest problem with coffee dates as first dates is escalation. It's quite difficult to set a sexual mood in a coffee shop. Coffee shops are too neutral of an environment. Neutral is bad. What ends up happening with coffee dates is that the get together is neutral to pleasant, but she's not feeling an intense sexual attraction and sexual desire. Women today have too many options to bother to take the time to see if something like that can develop. They need to have "all the feelz" right away, especially in instances where you're using a swipe apps or social media platform to arrange the date. The instant chemistry has to be there and a coffee date doesn't set it. If you are arranging dates from approaching strangers, the female expectations are not quite as sky high as apps or social media, but you do need to make a bigger impression than what would likely happen on a coffee date.
Activity dates as first dates are problematic for different reasons. First off, if you're arranging dates based on swipe app interactions, social media DMs, or 5-15 minute conversations from an in-person stranger approach, you likely don't have enough information to plan a good activity date, have yet to uncover a good activity option based on your common interests, or some activity date isn't feasible for some other reason. When considering activity, many of them can't be done on weeknights, so that's schedule limiting for the type of person working Mon-Fri day jobs.
The best first dates are drinks dates in bars. It's a good default date when you can't think of anything else.
Dinner dates in restaurants as first dates are a bad idea if you are arranging dates via swipe app, social media DMs, or stranger approaches. They're expensive, often boring, and aren't set up well for escalating into sex/creating that sexual frame. Because of those things, they lead to a lot of failed interactions. The only time that a dinner date might be acceptable on a first date is when the date is arranged from a strong social circle connection. Even then, it is debatable. What's amazing to me is that there are still many men using swipe apps or social media DMs in the 2020s and setting up first dates as dinner dates.
