Active mode vs Passive mode - an idea in progress...

[squirrels]

Another long tip from squirrels, oh God. I didn't post this in Tips because honestly, it's more stream-of-consciousness. I've been trying to put together some of my recent experiences and figure out a way to explain what's been going on the past week...

...well, not JUST the past week, but it's become much more vivid in the past week due to certain experiences I've had, both positive and negative.

I'm beginning to realize that there are two states a person can be in...an ACTIVE state and a PASSIVE state.

PASSIVE state is sort of a default condition where our free will is idle. Here we're more observers of the world around us. We take in stimuli, think about things, maybe get analytical, maybe feel emotions, but we kind of accept the universe as given...take the good with the bad, and we act, but only based on the stimuli we receive.

ACTIVE state, on the other hand, involves the conscious exercise of one's will over the environment. The focus becomes not to receive thoughts or feelings, but to generate them by action...to speak and act in accordance with what's going on WITHIN instead of with what's going on WITHOUT.

I'm really starting to think that this ACTIVE state is essential to the function of the "Don Juan" way of life...that this is the KEY to masculinity. Think about it...the male is active and makes his will felt on the world. THe female is passive and receptive to the will of the male.


I'm starting to see that ACTIVE state is the KEY to presence, dominance, attractiveness to women.

Look at the scenarios.

1) A cute girl looks at you and smiles from the other side of the bar

PASSIVE MODE RESPONSE: You receive the stimulus, acknowledge it, begin to think about its "meaning"...is she interested in meeting me? Was it a "good look"? A "bad look"? You feel attraction, maybe a little bit of doubt. You start running through scenarios in your head...if I drop the C&F how will she respond? Could I then segue into this routine? Should I compliment her? Should I touch her? I think I can get her. I bet her p*ssy tastes like candy. Does she have a boyfriend?

ACTIVE MODE RESPONSE: Action is the center of this response. She has engaged you, you engage in response. Walk up to her. Talk to her, try the C&F, see how she responds. Try to segue into the routine, see how she responds. Throw compliments, touch her, find out how her p*ssy tastes, get your azz kicked by her boyfriend, etc...


Same thoughts going through your head in both cases, but in active mode, you actually generate your OWN emotions through your actions, rather than letting external influences like the girl, the environment, your social conditioning, etc...control them. You actually write the script and PUT her into a role to see how she reacts, instead of accepting her role as it's fed to you and trying to figure out where YOU fit.

There are SO many more possibilities when you start to do this. In fact, I'm starting to believe that this is the key to the "dominance" and "masculinity" that women look for in a potential mate.

STEP 1: Getting into active mode. The one thing you may notice about active mode vs passive mode is that in both instances, you have the SAME UNDERSTANDING of "the game". You know how kino works, you know how to "sarge", display value, etc...and your mind is constantly thinking of ways to do it.

The difference is that in passive mode, you can't DO anything to actualize any of the possibilities...in fact, all the things you're thinking are worthless because the ACTUAL events are not being influenced by you...you're just rolling with whatever punches get thrown at you. In ACTIVE mode, you can actually DRIVE some of these programs that are going on in your head to see what the results would REALLY be.

Switching into active mode requires risk, and as such, even if we don't actively feel afraid, if we are accustomed to being in passive mode, making the switch into active mode is probably one of the HARDEST things for an aspiring Don Juan to do. This is because in passive mode, we become addicted to the notion of infinite possibilities, whereas in active mode, we are forced to select one of those possibilities and turn it into a REALITY.

But it really IS like flipping on a switch. There's NOTHING to making this transition except WANTING to make it. Think of the last time you clammed up when you saw a beautiful woman...then finally, FINALLY "worked up the courage" to go talk to her. Was it a long, drawn-out ordeal where each step toward her felt like lifting a lead-weight? Probably not...you just flipped the switch to ACTIVE MODE and you were off. Maybe you got rejected, maybe you got digits, but you DID something.

Two key tasks involved in getting into active mode:

-You have to consider active mode as a possibility. You have to see that the switch is there...that you CAN engage this mode. A lot of people honestly BELIEVE that they don't have that capacity, which is utter nonsense.

-You have to WANT to enter active mode. You have to make a conscious decision that, despite all your social conditioning, your beliefs, your situation, what you SHOULD or SHOUDLN'T do, that you WANT to flip the switch.

Then...*BAM*, the wheels are in motion.

STEP 2: Maintaining active mode. Most people when they first switch into active mode, it becomes extremely uncomfortable to be ACTUALLY doing things instead of simulating them. It comes at the expense of reason and, to an extent, possibility, because you are committing to a course. So they probably pop into active mode, engage, and then get snapped back into passive mode as a result of fear, doubt, anger, frustration.

This indicates a weakness in your belief in yourself, that you don't feel like you deserve to be in active mode and that other people can run your life better than you can. You have to believe that active mode is your birthright! That this IS yours to enter and exist in as you please.

This is the way women TEST men...they see if they can knock him out of active mode and back into passive mode...and the more desirable ones are VERY good at this. They want to see if they can shut you down.

They KNOW that you know yourself better than anyone else, so they will constantly throw situations at you to see if you really BELIEVE you DESERVE to be in active mode, or whether you feel that you're:

-Not attractive enough
-not smart enough
-not interesting enough
-not masculine enough
-not wealthy enough
-don't have enough to offer in general

Women will try to steal your frame...they will see if it's possible to push you back into passive mode to where they can control you externally. They want to see if you can maintain control of yourself...if you honestly BELIEVE you shoudl be the one driving from the inside, instead of letting her drive from the OUTSIDE.

Women are naturally passive, receptive creatures. They are LOOKING to be framed, to be put in a role and driven. Therefore, they need a man who can stay in ACTIVE mode even in adverse circumstances. A man who falls back into passive mode will not be able to drive her, will not be able to exploit her femininity, and will leave her drifting directionless looking for a stronger influence.

In fact, ALL real "leaders" around the world are faced with the challenge of rival leaders and adverse circumstances CONSTANTLY. The only way to lead succesfully is being in ACTIVE mode, even in the face of others who are in the same mode. Enemies are held at bay, allegiances are formed, and eventually, someone reverts to passive mode and caves to the circumstances created by those with stronger will power. Who can stay in the active state the longest often determines who is victorious...or at least who dies trying to win.

STEP 3: Active mode as a natural state

People who are naturally in active mode...those are the guys you wish you were. The funny thing is that they never even devised a 'seduction system', and yet they seem to get all the chicks. Yeah, NOW they do.

What you didn't see is the number of times they struck out before they finally started to "get it". While passive mode is great for observational philosophy, only active mode can put actions to the test and determine ACTUAL responses. Only by doing this can you refine your skills. Active mode alone doesn't get you what you want, but it teaches more lessons than sitting around trying to reason.

In that sense, people on this forum and other pick-up websites have an ADVANTAGE, as the game has been HANDED to them by other people. But they would've learned the game NATURALLY had they just switched into active mode and taken some shots.

The typical forum-nerd here has all the skills necessary, but cannot make the switch into active mode. The natural womanizer never had the advantage of learning the skills in advance, but just by naturally being in active mode, he learned all of these things EXPERENTIALLY. Remember, active mode and passive mode have the same ability to learn and develop systems, but passive mode deals in possibilities, whereas active mode deals in ACTUALITY, in real, concrete success.

The goal at this point, therefore, should be to make being in active mode second-nature. You should push so hard at it that it becomes NATURAL to be in that state, rather than a strenuous chore to maintain it. You should be able to maintain it whatever the situation, even in the face of other alpha males and of women trying to knock you back into passive mode.

 

[squirrels]

IS ACTIVE MODE "BETTER"? You could argue that active mode and passive mode are two sides of the same personality...that sometimes it feels good to just relax and let outside influences run the show, to be introspective or to run through ideas in your head, but the one thing I'm discovering more and more is that AS A MAN, ACTIVE MODE FEELS BETTER. *ESPECIALLY* when dealing with women and social situations. If you want to be the "alpha male" in any situation, you MUST, *MUST* be in active mode.

Example from yesterday...I was supposed to meet up with this hot girl I was with last Thursday. I called her up after I got out of work. But I figured I was a shoe-in at this point, since she had been calling ME earlier in the week. I let myself switch into passive mode. First I gave her control of the conversation. Then I gave her control of her schedule..."I have a softball game tonight"...then I gave her control of the event..."we're all going to xxxx bar later tonight, you should come"...then I gave her control of the communication..."I'll call you when I get out of my game".

In ACTIVE mode, I would've locked her down, steered the conversation, run some game, and then set the time and place for us to meet. Instead, I went into passive mode. You can guess whether she called.

Same night, no phonecall by like 10PM, I'm out the door, headed for a local college bar (ladies' night). I step into the bar, take a look around, order a drink. As I'm looking around the room, I see this cute blonde looking over at me, then away. Still in passive mode, I start considering the possibilities, the meanings, whether it was really interest...then she says something to her friend and her friend looks at me.

At that point...I felt the shift happening. I had the belief that I could game this girl, I suddenly had the desire to make this happen, I literally felt something primal shift in my attitude as I went from PASSIVE mode to ACTIVE mode.

For the next ten to fifteen minutes, I felt like a damned GOD. I opened this girl, got her talking about herself...went to get another drink, opened ANOTHER set of girls, got them laughing, went back and talked some more to the original blonde girl, took her back off to the back of the bar. At one point, if her friend hadn't been having a crisis with some guy SHE met, I honestly believe I would've isolated and got some make-out time. Alas, I had to settle for digits.

For the rest of the night, I kind of drifeted back into passive mode...didn't talk to any more girls, stopped at another bar, saw the same girl again and said hi, but didn't stay long. I knew I was out of state and figured hanging out with her any more would just break the deal.

But for that time that I actually was in ACTIVE MODE...I felt like I owned the world. I set my OWN frame and placed other people in the roles I wanted them to play, and I actually got to exercise one of MY possibilities instead of hoping other people's line up for me.

Normally when I go out, I'll sit at the bar, have a few drinks, people-watch, and wait for some girl to open ME, at which point I'll be in her frame and can play the man-role, but only because she placed me in that role. And when women get horny enough, they'll put a guy into the lover-role temporarily. I've been there plenty of times...one-night stands where I'm running in passive-mode with a horny chick and then the next time we go out, it's awkward as hell because I'm still in passive mode and she's expecting a MAN in ACTIVE mode to take control.

This is not meant to replace any of the "skills" taught here or be a catch-all solution to your problems, but it is absolutely essential that you learn to switch into active mode if you want to be SERIOUS about dating or picking up women.

If you learn the skills in passive mode, you WILL find yourself getting laid more often, but it WILL be at the woman's mercy. You will be resigned to finding horny women who are willing to go into ACTIVE mode long enough to drive you into the male role, who will initiate conversations with you, who will establish presence, and who will pretty much jump you. This will happen, but it will be RARE, and decreases with your attractiveness.

If you can switch into active mode at key points in the interaction, for example, the approach, or when it comes time to fvck, your success will increase, but only with weaker women. Stronger women, the more desirable ones, will see your dropping into passive mode as a weakness and will continue to see if they can knock you out of it.

If you can be in active mode on-cue, naturally, even in the face of adversity, you really ARE in control. Women can no longer take charge of the situation, all they can do is eject from it. And honestly, if your'e game's sharp, even that shouldn't be a problem.

 

[squirrels]

Yes, it's long.

Yes, it's mental masturbation.

Yes, the structure sucks.

I didn't really post it for anyone except myself. To tell the truth, I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding what it's really all about and I'm throwing this out here more to get feedback from other people who have been there, to see if their experiences have been similar. To see if I'm REALLY on to something or if I'm just blowing hot air. That's why I didn't put it in tips, and I dont' expect anyone to use it as inspiration or guidance.

This is one of those posts I'll come back and look at when I feel down, to remind myself of how to take the power back in my interactions with females.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

Reactive/proactive

Long, but a good read nonetheless, Squirrels.
Ever notice how many times you're pleasantly surprised when you just man up and approach? Even when the girl is attached? It always brings a smile to her face and a warm feeling in the ****les of her heart.

 

[Boschy]

This is good stuff and it matches my experiences.

I go out with one or two friends specifically to sarge, but they never switch to active mode unless they've had a certain number of drinks or get opened by chicks, which is very rare as we all know. I try to lead by example and approach women by myself. That switch from observing or passive mode to active mode is really what happens. "Just do it" as the old Nike slogan went. This is classic proactive thinking.

As with most technique and theory, having a paradigm like this (passive and active) is a good way to improve yourself, rather than thinking "Uh, well, I haven't approached many girls tonight. I suppose I'd better make an effort." Forget that sloppy thinking.

ACTIVE MODE ALL THE WAY!

 

[rsxtreme]

so active is better than passive?

 

[Bvbidd]

Yes, it's long.

Yes, it's mental masturbation.

Yes, the structure sucks.

I didn't really post it for anyone except myself. To tell the truth, I feel like I'm on the cusp of understanding what it's really all about and I'm throwing this out here more to get feedback from other people who have been there, to see if their experiences have been similar. To see if I'm REALLY on to something or if I'm just blowing hot air. That's why I didn't put it in tips, and I dont' expect anyone to use it as inspiration or guidance.

This is one of those posts I'll come back and look at when I feel down, to remind myself of how to take the power back in my interactions with females.

I think the same sh!t all the time.

I think I agree with you on this, at least when you feel you have the power to generate your own emotions it gives you a lot of confidence.

Active is always better then passive because at least when your in active you won't have time to think about what you did wrong.

 

[Consent]

It's a similar way to how I look at things.

 

[i am me]

good stuff

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

This is good. I have been in passive state for a while. In a week, I got back in active state. I pretty much approach whoever I want to and stay for the length of time I want to. Sometimes, I'm just curious if I'll be nervous when talking to a hb. That's what happened to me today. I went to the gym to shoot some hoops, and there was a chick working there. I said good morning to pretty much everyone that crossed my path.

Anyways, as I was leaving the gym, I approached her (this was just to see if I was going to be nervous)--and:

me: What's your name anyway?
hb: (gives name) -- I had noticed that she hadn't been smiling, and appeared to be kind of down
me: Why the long face anyway
hb: (laughed)--Oh, I don't know, just starin'
me: Well, I'm sure I'll see ya around

There was literally not a nervous bone--I wasn't even partially nervous--and it's because I was in an active state, and not a passive state.

This was an awesome read--it's so true, and it's good to have it to see.

 

[Boschy]

There was literally not a nervous bone--I wasn't even partially nervous--and it's because I was in an active state, and not a passive state.

This was an awesome read--it's so true, and it's good to have it to see.

I think you never gave yourself time to get nervous and dream up negative outcomes. What you focused on was the simple test you had in mind and that was it. That's the beauty of proactive thinking...in all parts of your life, not just PU.

When I was younger I got excellent practice with talking to absolute hotties by visiting strip clubs. Of course, even though I've gained confidence, I still go back every now and then to refresh my skills. :yes:

 

[ElChoclo]

Isn't this contrary to NLP theory, from which the expression "framing" appears to be derived. NLP theory suggests that the mind is far from passive at any point.

Also the term active is a misleading one. Someone who buys a girl flowers and rings her continually is probably being active. The actions need to be effective as well.

 

[Boschy]

Isn't this contrary to NLP theory, from which the expression "framing" appears to be derived. NLP theory suggests that the mind is far from passive at any point.

Also the term active is a misleading one. Someone who buys a girl flowers and rings her continually is probably being active. The actions need to be effective as well.

True enough and good point. However, if you stay in passive state and do nothing, even something AFC like the things you mentioned, then you're going to get utterly nowhere....i.e. not even learn something from being rejected, ignored or spurned.

So I think the point of the original poster is that being 'active' is better than passive.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Isn't this contrary to NLP theory, from which the expression "framing" appears to be derived. NLP theory suggests that the mind is far from passive at any point...

Not true. The mind is very much an active entity. So much so that it can not readily discern between active and passive states. No matter which action you take, there is chance, movement, activity.

The mind is an active, forward moving, positive acting "yes man." No matter what you tell it, it will on some level agree with you (as long as it is within reason or the realms of reality). As in Squirrel's example, you can take the passive role of thinking that your aren't attractive, interesting or smart enough. Guess what your mind will tell you? "Yep, you're right."

To use NLP effectively, you can't forget to frame your experiences with the proper sub-modalities in order to obtain the full effect of the programming. Just remember that your mind is a driving force as long as you don't put it into reverse.