Action!

[Die Hard]

Too much reading, too little action. I'm done with leaving things up to fate or thinking I already have enough skills to be succesful.

I got laid with two girls in 2013 and had a bunch of make out sessions with some other girls. Not impressed with myself... I need to push myself much harder and get more out of my comfort zone. I am way too conservative, way too occupied with minimizing risks instead of maximizing success.

Sure, those two lays and the make out sessions were all HB8's and I was really on top of my game on thoce occasions. You know, being the center of the party, being the alpha, totally dominating those chicks and everyone else in my vicinity. I was THE MAN! But those were basically incidents, everything clicked on those occasions, I was putting in an absolute top performance there. But how did I perform during the other 95% of occasions? Weak!! Soooo many weak performances, soooo many moments where I didn't have the balls to get out of my comfort zone and make things happen!

So lately I've been making a conscious effort to improve my game, especially my club game. I've been a member on here for a long time now and have internalized a lot of knowledge, which comes out when I interact with women. But not enough, I slip up way too often! Like last night, when a girl asked me why I was drinking no alcohol...

Actually, I do that because alcohol messes up my game. It's helpful when you take a little but you always end up taking too much, losing too much control over yourself, and then your game suffers... But of course I'm not gonna tell her that, lol. So I just told her that the effects of little sleep and lots of alcohol on Saturday night are still fvcking with me when I go to work after the weekend (which is true, by the way).

She used this to throw a sh!t test at me... Told me: "Ah, your age is catching up with you, huh?" (Remember, I'm 33 and mostly deal with early 20's girls in the club, so yeah, my age is something that I can become a little insecure over. I sometimes get bad reactions from young girls, judging me like "This guy must be around 30 but he still thinks he's 20. Loserrrr!" But hey, it's all about the way you carry yourself, I still pull plenty of girls from that age and many of them totally LOVE me as long as I carry myself with confidence. But if I don't, then I fail hard )

Anyway, my confidence just slipped for a moment and I started qualifying myself to this girl, like "No, it's not. Sure, I might be getting old but I'm still very fit" but I was really saying it in a way to prove myself to her, instead of saying it coz I meant it.

This girl was really interested from the get go. Actually, she even approached me instead of the other way around and she was doing lots of kino on me. But after this slip up, she slowly ejected from the conversation and went back to her friend. FAIL!

That's what I'm talking about, sometimes I just slip up and mess up my chances. Who knows how things would've played out if I had passed her sh!t test? Could've resulted in another make out session or lay, you know?

Same thing with the goddamn c0ckblocking, I should learn how to handle those situations but I am not putting in the time to educate myself about it. Jesus Christ, I've been dealing with this A LOT lately!! Literally every week I go out... Last night, as well. Girl tries to walk past me, I move in front of her and give her a sexy look, we start talking and being physical right away (my arms grabbing around her, her face pressing against mine etc.) Then her girlfriend (big as a hippo) literally tries to push me away and hugs the girl saying "she's my friend". I play it cool and tell her "Uh, okay, that's nice. Well, I'm Die Hard." and extend my hand to her. She looks at my hand with contempt and turns her back to me. God, I wanted to punch her fvcking face!!! :box:
I gave up, but the girl approached me a while later. Again being very physical and the moment was there to kiss close her, but the hippo was nearby and I could feel her eyes in my back, I just KNEW she was waiting to jump in if things got too physical between the girl and me.
I've become kinda crazy about this sh!t, coz I was in the same situation last week where the c0ckblocker just threw her drink over my arm when I got too physical with her girl!! :crazy:
So I just kept talking and the moment passed. I could sense how the girl thought I didn't have the balls to kiss close her when the moment was there and her mind just went "you're beta...", so she ejected shortly after...

After last week's c0ckblocking, I've been looking for solutions, pledging that I would come prepared this Saturday. But I didn't, thinking to myself "It can wait. Surely I can make it one week without running into a c0ckblock situation lol" Well, I was clearly wrong.... So no more postponing, I'll do my research and learn how to succesfully deal with this sh!t.


From now on, I'm gonna work hard on all the holes in my game, leave nothing in the hands of fate, reach my full potential! I'll get out there, do more approaches and keep a log to reflect on what I did wrong or did right.

ACTION!

I hope you guys want to assist me in analyzing the situations I run into and how I handle them

 

[zekko]

Best of luck, Die Hard!

 

[Don_Dom]

The age thing plagues me also. I'm young for my age but I live in a small city so you get to talking about where you went to school and eventually graduation year gets asked...you can see them doing the math in their heads. Lol Not exactly a **** test per se but you reminded me of it because I get that a lot.

How do you think you could have handled that particular **** test differently?

****blocking chick friends are the worst, too, I agree. Because you are focused on the chick at hand and they come in from out of nowhere and are lighting quick about it....before you can even get your head around dealing with them.

 

[Die Hard]

Well, when I'm in a good state of mind, I usually just agree&amplify in a joking matter:

"Yeah, my age IS getting to me... (look sad) But I'm trying to fight it! (look happy) Like normally, I need a walking cane but I decided to leave it home tonight "

or

"Yeah, it's really getting to me. I can't even get it up anymore! Aren't I sad?" (you say this very theatrical, making a weird face and all and laughing to her.)

Just don't give a serious answer, nor answer in a serious tone. Joke about it and show her that your age doesn't define who you are. You don't literally say that your age doesn't define you, but you DEMONSTRATE that this is true, by talking about your own age with total confidence (and remember, someone who is able to joke about his own "shortcomings", shows that he is not insecure about them).


Yeah, the c0ckblocking is terrible. Gaming hot women is hard enough by itself. You try to get out of your comfort zone, force yourself to approach, you get rejected like 6 times, then FINALLY some hot babe reciprocates and you feel like you got what you deserved and BAM! some bytch just grabs her away from you. That's fvcking traumatizing, man

Personally, my frustration is twofold. Not only do I miss out on this girl but I also get fvcked over by someone without really having a good response. And I HATE getting fvcked over by someone! I get really upset when someone disrespects me and feel the need to take revenge.
I swear to God, I would totally punch a chick in the face for c0ckblocking if it wouldn't get me in trouble. Right in her face, closed fist, full force... Especially in these cases where the c0ckblocker gets physical, tries to push your arm away or even tries to push your whole body away. I want to fvck these bytches up, spit in her face or something, just really make her pay for her behavior. Nobody fvcks with me, that's an attitude which is ingrained in my personality, I don't accept other people fvcking with me and I'm a very vengeful person, I can't allow anyone to get away with fvcking with me!
But you just can't be like that in such situations, you have to stay cool otherwise you will certainly lose your girl but you'll also get into fights, never be allowed into that bar again etc.

I find that most advice on c0ckblocking is not really applicable to these situations where the blocker grabs her girl and pulls her away. When you try to say something to your girl, the blocker just pulls her away from you, positions herself in between the girl and you etc. And if you try to talk to the blocker herself, she will often ignore you or just walk away from you, pulling the girl along.
If you're patient and just give up for that moment, you will often get into contact with your girl later on and be able to talk to her for a short while. In my situation from last week, it literally was 15 seconds before the blocker started interfering again. But maybe you can work your girl in that short moment...

I am still inclined to find a solution where I just stand my ground. I feel like a weak loser even when I tactically withdraw for a moment so I can talk to my girl later on. Fvck that! I'm talking to her and her goddamn girlfriend is not gonna take control of my situation and break up my conversation with the girl. Who does she think I am? It is not in my personality to accept this kind of behavior and let people get away with it. I certainly kept my ground yesterday, the bytch literally tried to push me away and I simply pushed HER away, I'm no pushover, not even when a fvcking hippo is trying... She then stepped in between me and the girl but since the girl was close to me, this hippo was now basically standing before me with her whole body connected to mine. I still didn't take a step backwards, if you wanna stand like this, fine, I'm just gonna stay here. So eventually, she took a step away from me and pulled the girl in that direction as well.
I just kept smiling and carried myself very calm throughout that stuff, not being agressive in any way.

Whatever... I came across this vid where Tyler from RSD fends of a c0ckblocker: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFTR9jNkeCg&feature=youtu.be&t=4m12s

You can see how the blocker tries to grab the wrist of her girlfriend to pull her away from Tyler but he just owns the situation and dominates the c0ckblocker, she doesn't DARE to challenge him. I'm not sure all bl0ckers would give up that easily, though... But I think that if you handle such a situation with great confidence and confront the blocker with strong CONVICTION, you can make her back off. Just being bold and TAKING CHARGE of the situation like an alpha is supposed to...

How the fvck do you think an alpha male silverback gorilla would handle such a situation, man???

I don't like playing tactical games, trying to befriend the c0ckblocker etc. Why should I? I don't like her, I want her to FVCK OFF AND DIE!! Why would I try to befriend someone like that? If that is the only way I can succesfully win her friend, I'm not sure I WANT to win her friend. So no, I don't want to act fake and sh!t. She just has to fvck off and not interfere with me. If she doesn't comply, I will FORCE her to comply. That's just my attitude as a person and I'd like to stick with it in these situations as well.

On the other hand, this attitude has gotten me in lots of trouble during my life and I've learned the hard way that it's sometimes smarter to be tactical and reach your goal through a detour... We'll see, the jury is still out on what's the best way to handle these situations. I'll keep you guys updated, lol.

 

[Die Hard]

Making improvements here

Club game

Definitely getting out of my comfort zone, opening lots of sets on a night and making bold moves!

But closing is still a problem... I often have good interaction and build up chemistry with a chick, get physical etc. but then somewhere along the line they push me away or kinda reject me in some other way.

I guess I'm being too superficial with them and don't build enough rapport. The ****y&funny routine builds up attraction and by acting like I don't give a damn about them, they get drawn into me. But then as things progress further and we escalate physically, it's like they suddenly realize: "He doesn't really find me special, this guy just throws out his line in this club and waits till some girl takes the bait. If I would not have been here, he would've said and done the same things to some other girl instead of to me" It's like they feel tricked, like they think of me as a "player" and suddenly decide "I'm not gonna be the foolish girl who falls for this "player" and his games."

In the end, I guess this boils down to inner game issues. I think I'm just too "afraid" to invest a lot of time and effort into the girl coz if she eventually would reject me after all that time and effort, it would "hurt" more.

To illustrate: there was one girl who I opened, asking why she was looking so grumpy. She totally dissed me, saying "Coz I'm looking at you." and walked off. Ouch... But not really, lol. I wasn't fazed by that at all and couldn't care less, I just laughed about it. But that's because I hadn't invested anything in her.

Later on, I opened a girl and was making conversation with her for 5 or 10 minutes. She responded well to my jokes and was giving IOI's during the convo. I would apply light kino and she seemed distant and reluctant to reciprocate it at first. But slowly, she started opening up and would reciprocate. Eventually, we ended up with my arm around her waiste and her leaning fully against me (like, if I would take a step away from her, she would fall coz she was leaning against me).

All went well, I had been gaming her for 10 minutes and had drawn her into me. If it was a game of chess, then I had a great opening game, a great mid game and now only needed to follow through and play the endgame well. But I dropped the ball and messed it up so eventually I ejected the set and went my way.

That hurt... I was really disappointed that I couldn't close her after things had been building up so greatly with her.

And that's my problem, I guess. As I'm gaming a chick and investing more and more into the set, I gradually become more and more outcome dependent and my tension/nervousness rises. Eventually, I drop the ball and mess the set up because I can't remain calm and confident, I guess. I kinda lose my cool and mess it up.

Kind of an chicken-egg situation, when I think of it. I am afraid to invest too much in a set coz rejection will "hurt" after much investment. So I choose to act superficial, I build too little rapport with the girl, come across as a 'player' and often go for the close too fast. Which all prevents me from being succesful.

So that's what I'm gonna work on. More (true) confidence, less outcome dependency!


Daygame

I made a great move last week. Cold approached a chick outside and spent a few hours with her, we made out and everything, it was awesome. Really proud of myself because of that one! Daygame is tough... I have a tendency towards being introverted. I can easily become a super extraverted beast when I go out on a Saturday night, and I can also do it during daygame if I have someone with me. But when I'm all alone on weekdays, like walking on the street, doing groceries, sitting in the train or whatever, I find it really hard to get in that mood. I see girls during those moments, but I just do...NOTHING. While I would approach those exact same girls if we were in the club or if I would at least have a wingman with me...

So that's why I'm really proud of this move I made last week

 

[BeDJ]

Closing is the toughest part of any interaction, but you gotta always assume it. I think you are doing good work with building rapport or else they would bail on your within a minute. If they are getting physically intimate with you, it's definitely the close. This is what I am working on as well because I slam the door on my foot.

To illustrate: there was one girl who I opened, asking why she was looking so grumpy. She totally dissed me, saying "Coz I'm looking at you."

I would have said the same thing, you approached with a negative POV. You could have sarcastically said "You look like you're having the time of your life!" Not good, but a much better approach.

But I dropped the ball and messed it up so eventually I ejected the set and went my way.

How?
Side note: We would LOVE for you to post some FR's in this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=212046

I am afraid to invest too much in a set coz rejection will "hurt" after much investment. So I choose to act superficial, I build too little rapport with the girl, come across as a 'player' and often go for the close too fast. Which all prevents me from being succesful.

It's a mutual investment, you built good connection with your target. Even if you don't get the lay then and there, she will be more receptive after you get the number. It separates you from all the other guys she dished her number to.

More (true) confidence, less outcome dependency!

Night game is different from dating game. You HAVE to be outcome dependent. If she likes, take it as far as you can go.

I get rejected in the first 30 seconds most of the time doing day game. It raped my confidence at the time, but gave me more reasons to not give a sh!t overall.

If it were easy, everyone would be approaching and getting laid. They aren't. We are.

 

[Slickster]

Regarding the "too old" comment....

NEVER EVER take sh!t from a younger chick about being too old.

Knock that b!tch down a peg! (Playfully and with a smile of course)

Some responses to a "too old" comment:

- "Run along little girl I think its past your bedtime"
- "Wow are they letting minors in here now? Are you even allowed to be here? I'm gonna go get the manager to check your ID."
- "Yeah, I'm probably old enough to be your father. You should go."
- "Ha ha you're cute. You want me to order you a juice or are you drinking milk and cookies tonight?"
- "Hey, I'm just looking for a babysitter here, are you available?"

These are just some examples but you get the idea. Make her feel too immature to even be in your presence. Never fall into the trap that says ALL older men want a young hottie. Make her feel that you are disappointed in her for being too immature. Show her that you are interested in something more than just her looks. Challenge her to show you that she is mature enough.

I once told a chick, "why don't you go hang out with those guys over there? They look about your age and I'm sure they will be doing beer bongs and some burn outs in the parking lot later."

Being an older MAN is a positive!!! Never forget it!

 

[Die Hard]

Thanks for your feedback, BeDJ

As for the field reports, I'd love to post them coz it's nice to share succes stories (or get advice about less succesful occasions). But it's not something I'll ever do on here, coz I don't want to give away details on this board that might be recognizable to people who know me in real life.

Some might find that paranoid but I'm better safe than sorry. I write some very personal sh!t on here now and then, so I want to ensure my anonimity at all cost. If even one person who knows me in real life ever coincidentally stumbles across SoSuave and recognizes some detail in some story from me, it could potentially cause me a lot of trouble in my personal life. So I guess you'll have to do with the somewhat superficial descriptions of the situations I get into...

 

[Desdinova]

I find the time I have the most success is when I'm barely even trying to game women. I mean, when I start interacting with them, I generally know what I'm doing, but my actual approaches are minimal. I find the best thing to have is social circles in multiple venues. I generally don't fvck anybody in the social circle, but I'll fvck the guests that are friends of people in the social circle. With a social circle, always plan for the future. One guy has a hot gf? Befriend her and add her to fb, but keep your distance. When they break up, go in for the kill.

After I broke up with my LTR in December 2012, it was very difficult to get dates. Part of it being the fact that I was still in recovery mode, and the other part being that I didn't have much for social circles. I got on OKC and started sending messages. I got my ass out to a few more venues and made new friends. The dates didn't start pouring in until summer of 2013. It was like the flood gates had opened and I had opportunities popping up constantly, and I didn't even have to try!

Being social is your best friend. You open multiple doors that can lead to multiple adventures.