Acting like you really don't care actually work in this scenario??

[jackhamma]

I have been seeing this girl the past 3 weeks. We have already slept together a few times, been out on a few dates. She just very recently has started to slow down her responses and start to back off (assuming losing interest) due to me reaching out to often and being to available.

My buddy advised me that he feels I am right at that vital point where I can flip the script and change her mind on her thinking I becoming needy. So I went ghost for a day and she ended up reaching out and texted me last night.

We discussed getting together over the weekend on Monday but it has not been brought up again since then. My buddy advised me after last nights text convo with me leaving off saying

(small little chit chat funny convo)
Me: "Hey I'm going to crash but ill hit you up tomorrow."
Her: "Goodnight "

This is where I normally would of already hit her up today trying to make plans for tomorrow (Friday) but my buddy said NO!

He wants me to not say anything today at all. Come tomorrow Friday, hit her up in the afternoon and say I have a friend in town that wants me to take them out Saturday night and I know we discussed getting together so wanted to see if Tonight (Friday) was good for you? Based on her response go from there.

His point is that I said I would hit her up today and I am not. Acting as if I really don't care.

Thoughts on doing this from now on? Will doing the don't care attitude really flip the script?

Is less really more? Less reaching out, less compliments, less attention = Her wanting to reach out to me more often?

 

[Yewki]

So I went ghost for a day and she ended up reaching out and texted me last night.

Bro... if you're texting so much that going "ghost" for a single day is some big decision on your part... you're really playing it wrong. You've only been seeing her 3 weeks.

You give off a heavy "my life revolves around this girl" vibe which is not only unhealthy, but unattractive. It does not surprise me at all she would become distant with you.

Your plan to reschedule your thing with her Friday is probably a good move, but more importantly stop devoting so much of your time to someone you just met.

What efforts are you making to pursue other girls? Any?

 

[RangerMIke]

Okay... too much texting and pretending to be indifferent for one day really isn't going to do anything.

But I will say that you really should not get in the habit of 'pretending' to be busy. It is better to actually be busy. If you knew just how easy it is for women to read you lying would NEVER be an option. If you play around and pretend to be indifferent... trust me, she will know and you will look weak.

 

[AllDay85]

I have been seeing this girl the past 3 weeks. We have already slept together a few times, been out on a few dates. She just very recently has started to slow down her responses and start to back off (assuming losing interest) due to me reaching out to often and being to available.

My buddy advised me that he feels I am right at that vital point where I can flip the script and change her mind on her thinking I becoming needy. So I went ghost for a day and she ended up reaching out and texted me last night.

We discussed getting together over the weekend on Monday but it has not been brought up again since then. My buddy advised me after last nights text convo with me leaving off saying

(small little chit chat funny convo)
Me: "Hey I'm going to crash but ill hit you up tomorrow."
Her: "Goodnight "

This is where I normally would of already hit her up today trying to make plans for tomorrow (Friday) but my buddy said NO!

He wants me to not say anything today at all. Come tomorrow Friday, hit her up in the afternoon and say I have a friend in town that wants me to take them out Saturday night and I know we discussed getting together so wanted to see if Tonight (Friday) was good for you? Based on her response go from there.

His point is that I said I would hit her up today and I am not. Acting as if I really don't care.

Thoughts on doing this from now on? Will doing the don't care attitude really flip the script?

Is less really more? Less reaching out, less compliments, less attention = Her wanting to reach out to me more often?

If you like this girl so much, the best thing you could do to save her, is to get another girl on the side. You'd stop being so needy. Right now you're the feminine in the relationship.

You think she's on a forum worried about you? No! She's talking to other guys homie. This is reality. And the sooner you accept it the better your life will be.

 

[Julian]

are you hittin it or not because it doesnt sound like it

 

[fastlife]

Do you really like texting this girl that much? Are her convos really that interesting? Or are you worried she'll forget about you and seeking that temporary relief from insecurity when she responds?

Shift your mindset. You should be grateful when a girl can go a couple days without hearing from you without her constantly hitting you up--because you should have more important things going on.

 

[jackhamma]

Man oh man! A single day of no contact is crazy man. You need to do at least three days for her to start wondering.

Oh, and a tip about when you say you'll hit her up next. Instead of saying "Hey I'll talk to you at x time" instead say "I'll talk to you later". Then you can decide when to text her. This is more mysterious, and by day 2 or 3 of ghosting she will begin to wonder if you'll ever contact her again (seriously, had a girl ask me on day 4 "Are you ever going to talk to me again??!).

Quit being so available. And don't ask her out tonight. Go the weekend without talking to her.

Thanks to you guys and a friend that has this mindset down extremely well put me in check the other night.

By going ghost the one night, she ended up reaching out last night and texting me, which shows by not always reaching out and giving her room she WILL reach out. Our convo was basically very flirty and she was sending me swim suit pics of stuff she tried on earlier that day. I kept it sexual, sarcastic funny, and then exited stage left with her still texting me then going, "Okay haha good night! "

Todays game plan I reached out to do something tonight and she responded with she had plans to go out with girl 1 and girl 2 tonight but we should do it another time. I simply said "Sound like fun have a great time, ill hyu over the weekend. She responded with "Okay"

I am finally grasping why not always being available and going a few days without reaching out makes her want to reach out to me. Don't know why it took so long for me to grasp it lol. Yes I was always afraid by not being around and reaching out that I would be forgotten..which now I realize she will forget about it for sure if I am up her azz hahaha.

This weekend I am going out like usual and going to have a blast and not reach out at all. If she hits me up fine, if not I won't say anything until Monday to make plans for the week or next weekend.


I am also realizing the power of indifference is HUGE. She is busy, cancels, responds hours later, responds a week later. I act like I never even noticed and I am my normal cheerful fun self. Seems to work wonders.


Thoughts?

 

[Yewki]

What you're doing now is pretending to be aloof, which is better than being obviously desperate but you should make it a goal to be aloof... this means not secretly scheming how and when you're going to interact with her behind the scenes. Best way to do this is focus on your hobbies, other girls... and most importantly, learn.