Long story short, I was supposed to meet this girl Sunday for a second date and she did not show up. Naturally I was supremely irritated and figured nexting her was the obvious choice. Monday night she sends this apologetic email (too afraid to use the phone obviously) with a pretty lame excuse for not showing up (that she had been out all night Saturday and was basically unconscious until Sunday evening -- to use the common example, if I were Brad Pitt would she have flaked like that?). In her email she says her conscience has been really bothering her. I'm just wondering if I should ignore it, or if she is actually genuine maybe not totally write her off. I wouldn't really care except that I thought things went well and we had a good time on our first date, so for the first time in a while I thought there was a pretty decent prospect.
accept her apology or not?
- Thread starter Halo
- Start date
InLawsHateMe
Master Don Juan
Next.... obviously, this chic has no respect for you. I mean, cmon, can't pick up the phone? Don't know why I think so harshly about this, I don't ever recall ever being stood up... maybe have seen others or something. In any case, she left ya hanging.... if you feel you should give her another shot, that's up to you... but if she doesn't make it up to you for that last stunt, N E X T.
It's really up to you. Do you still think there's hope for her? Even though I'm very quick to next girls after I found this site, if they come to me with an apology after messing up once, I'm usually willing to give them another chance. I realize that if I hold girls to a standard of perfection, I'll be alone forever. If the girl messes up again soon though, then it's a pattern and she's gone.
dirt
Don Juan
Let HER come to YOU and then decide. If she's serious about her apology, she'll attempt to set up that second date. If not.... see ya.
Yeah, in her message she said something about not expecting forgiveness or any kind of response. I am wondering if this is just her oblique way of blowing me off, by implying that there will be no more contact, or if she is trying to get me to give her another chance. Can't seem to catch a break here lately.
This is a tough one. The way she set it up, she makes you come after her, even though she messed up. Clever girl. If it was me, I'd probably send an email back like this:
The email was nice, but nothing says "I'm sorry" like chocolate. If you want to go out with me again, I'm going to at least need flowers to soothe my manly ego.
Then I'd wait to see her reaction. I've established that we can still go out if she wants to. I also put the ball back in her court to make some effort. If she doesn't respond, I know she wasn't really interested, and found that out without hurting my pride.
Oscar Wilde
Master Don Juan
I'd tend towards giving her a chance. Quicks idea aint bad.
Another way is to reply to her mail saying something along the lines of
"<Insert firm *but polite* chew out for standing you up>
This isn't my preferred mode of communication, but I replied to you here since you chose to contact me this way. If you want to make it up to me, give me a call and maybe you can buy me a beer sometime."
Like I said, something along those lines.
Osc.
Another way is to reply to her mail saying something along the lines of
"<Insert firm *but polite* chew out for standing you up>
This isn't my preferred mode of communication, but I replied to you here since you chose to contact me this way. If you want to make it up to me, give me a call and maybe you can buy me a beer sometime."
Like I said, something along those lines.
Osc.
You should bait her back a little.
Maybe go, "That's cool, I would have had to break our date anyway because I had something on the go."
Take Care.
Then she will probably write back...at which time you proceed to stand her up...brilliant!
Maybe go, "That's cool, I would have had to break our date anyway because I had something on the go."
Take Care.
Then she will probably write back...at which time you proceed to stand her up...brilliant!
Yes, it is best to next immediately.
I wrote back to that girl with a sort of "I won't take any bvll**** but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt" email. She contacted me later that night on IM and was saying how she wanted to make it up to me blah blah blah. Anyway we were supposed to have lunch, her treat, today. She called before lunch to confirm a time, and when that time got near she left a voice mail saying "I'm sorry, I just can't do this". Weird! If she just wanted to blow me off all along, she had plenty of easier chances before. I suspect it may be something more like already having a borefriend. I don't guess it matters.
Anyway for me, a few basic rules were confirmed in this:
1. Next all flaky girls immediately. No second chances.
2. Never go by what a girl says, but by what she does.
I wrote back to that girl with a sort of "I won't take any bvll**** but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt" email. She contacted me later that night on IM and was saying how she wanted to make it up to me blah blah blah. Anyway we were supposed to have lunch, her treat, today. She called before lunch to confirm a time, and when that time got near she left a voice mail saying "I'm sorry, I just can't do this". Weird! If she just wanted to blow me off all along, she had plenty of easier chances before. I suspect it may be something more like already having a borefriend. I don't guess it matters.
Anyway for me, a few basic rules were confirmed in this:
1. Next all flaky girls immediately. No second chances.
2. Never go by what a girl says, but by what she does.
Ded_Skin_Mask13
Banned
accept the apology or you'll come off as bitter and hurt......but after the apology, don't ask her out on anymore dates, and refuse if she brings up talk about another date to make up for the one she went awol on.
She obviously showed no respect for you, by doing whatever she did to not being able to show up.. And you shouldn't compromise your dignity and self-respect for someone else's lack of recognition.
YOU HAVE TO BE FIRM IN THESE SITUATIONS OR YOU'LL BE WALKED ALL OVER!!!
She obviously showed no respect for you, by doing whatever she did to not being able to show up.. And you shouldn't compromise your dignity and self-respect for someone else's lack of recognition.
YOU HAVE TO BE FIRM IN THESE SITUATIONS OR YOU'LL BE WALKED ALL OVER!!!
Starman
Master Don Juan
Dude ,
#1 How many times have you gone out saturday night..only to spend ALLLLL day sunday recovering?? With a hangover, headache, nausea, and the last thing you want is to go on a date?
#2 you have reason to be angry that she dissed you on sunday and waited till Monday for an apology..
Like the folks said..let her make it up to you..let her pay..let her do everything..but whatever you do..dont whine and sob to her..just act like she owes it to you..and milk it for what its worth and try to have a good time with it..
Say stuff like "Ohh lets see..I think Ill have the steak , lobster and crab for dinner..ohh its on you right?"
Make her feel guilty but VERY indirectly
#1 How many times have you gone out saturday night..only to spend ALLLLL day sunday recovering?? With a hangover, headache, nausea, and the last thing you want is to go on a date?
#2 you have reason to be angry that she dissed you on sunday and waited till Monday for an apology..
Like the folks said..let her make it up to you..let her pay..let her do everything..but whatever you do..dont whine and sob to her..just act like she owes it to you..and milk it for what its worth and try to have a good time with it..
Say stuff like "Ohh lets see..I think Ill have the steak , lobster and crab for dinner..ohh its on you right?"
Make her feel guilty but VERY indirectly
princelydeeds
Master Don Juan
When a chick does some stupid $hit like that I change the game on her. No more gentlemanly lets go out have fun etc. I get a little cold but always friendly always pleasant. I let her know the stuff was rude and unappreciated but the party doesn't stop when you dont show up. Ill tell her my boy called me at the last minute and we went somewhere else and had fun with out her she missed a good tiem she coulda came had she not been so rude.
But after that lets go out and have fun ceases and come over to my crib at 11 pm and play with me is her only option. Ill open some wine and buy some dessert but I let it be known that sex is on my agenda. Its subtle but I turn her into a late night booty call. It surprising how many women respond better to that the dinner and nice guy stuff.
But after that lets go out and have fun ceases and come over to my crib at 11 pm and play with me is her only option. Ill open some wine and buy some dessert but I let it be known that sex is on my agenda. Its subtle but I turn her into a late night booty call. It surprising how many women respond better to that the dinner and nice guy stuff.