Accension
Senior Don Juan
A comprehensive guide to socialising by Accension.
Socialising is a complex system that's more structured than you may think, and just like any system, it can be exploited by the creative few that understand it.
After reading this guide, you may become misanthropic, so I ask you: Do you really want to know?
The circle
When humans come together, a circle naturally forms and this circle is a huge indicator of an individual's place in the group.
Typically, different areas of the circle will either be hot or cold.
Those in the cold area of the circle will look towards the hot area.
The hot area contains the producers of the group, those of highest status.
These producers are paralleled by the leechers and followed by the contributors who tend to be in the middle of the action.
A lot of people wonder why they're always towards the end of a group of friends traveling or ahead of them - this is why.
They are low status leechers circling the outside of the gooey centre.
It's also interesting to note that the attention whor3s or try hards are commonly contributors and so stick in the middle where the attention of the producers and leechers lies.
By this point, you're probably classified as a leecher, yet you feel as if you contribute from now and then.
I'll give you an example of why this isn't the case.
Let's say you contribute an idea to go to the movies.
The group looks at you and the contributors add to it but the producer would rather eat lunch first.
The contributors order their lunch and so do you.
Notice that when you contributed your idea, your position became as hot as a contributor by not leeching, but you still weren't hot enough to produce your idea.
Even if a leecher contributes an original idea to the group, this is rare as they tend to just contribute to a contributers idea. That is, they leech off a contributers idea.
You now understand the fundamental system in place and we can begin to exploit it!
Pre-established order
From the moment you participate in a group, your role very much determines your status; therefore, you can become a producer simply by changing your role.
However, watch out this will anger everyone.
Have you ever had more than one person try talk to you at once?
This will happen a lot when you're first establishing who you are, and it's very important to both play your roll well and play their role well.
This means that as a producer you obviously have to produce other people and not fall victim to being produced yourself.
It's also beneficial to establish yourself as the producer before the circle forms.
It's harder to break pre-established order.
The producer
At their very core they do the producing and so cannot be produced.
Have you ever had someone kind of question you.
A contributer asks you are you really eating that?
Note that the contributer has elevated his status to a producer and has brought you down to their level.
This is why people bully!
It's uncommon for a leecher to try this, but if you suddenly become a contributer out of no where, I'm sure they'd try bring you down in this exact way.
Another producer looks at your sandwich, yeah that's disgusting.
You'd think that by the producer producing too, it'd all be red.
However, he has just agreed with the status change of the contributer to producer and so has become a contributer himself.
His job is to produce and keep this from happening.
You were already higher status than the contributer trying to bring you down and so only needed to say, "Yeah, my sandwich is awesome STFU."
Producers can agree with status shifts from time to time but if they often do it, they'll find that they become contributers.
This brings me to another point, contributers like to play producer by putting the leechers down and getting cheap acknowledgements from the producers.
Exploit
It's time to make it happen.
The producer realizes two things:
Think about what this means and why it works because all producers use this and understand it.
It might look a little something like this.
Girl: Yeah, you wish you could get me.
The girl smiles at her friends.
You: Rub her head, I wish -- I could get you....
Mocking girl. You barely notice her friends.
Girl: Laughing, stop it, stop it.
Feels embarrassed in front of her friends.
If you took her little attempt at producing seriously, you'd end up tickled pink.
Not to mention, you're so obviously the producer as you take little notice of the leeching friends while she felt the need to perform for them (as all people do).
Next time you're socialising, ask yourself: what role am I playing?
Socialising is a complex system that's more structured than you may think, and just like any system, it can be exploited by the creative few that understand it.
After reading this guide, you may become misanthropic, so I ask you: Do you really want to know?
The circle
When humans come together, a circle naturally forms and this circle is a huge indicator of an individual's place in the group.
Typically, different areas of the circle will either be hot or cold.
Those in the cold area of the circle will look towards the hot area.
The hot area contains the producers of the group, those of highest status.
These producers are paralleled by the leechers and followed by the contributors who tend to be in the middle of the action.
A lot of people wonder why they're always towards the end of a group of friends traveling or ahead of them - this is why.
They are low status leechers circling the outside of the gooey centre.
It's also interesting to note that the attention whor3s or try hards are commonly contributors and so stick in the middle where the attention of the producers and leechers lies.
By this point, you're probably classified as a leecher, yet you feel as if you contribute from now and then.
I'll give you an example of why this isn't the case.
Let's say you contribute an idea to go to the movies.
The group looks at you and the contributors add to it but the producer would rather eat lunch first.
The contributors order their lunch and so do you.
Notice that when you contributed your idea, your position became as hot as a contributor by not leeching, but you still weren't hot enough to produce your idea.
Even if a leecher contributes an original idea to the group, this is rare as they tend to just contribute to a contributers idea. That is, they leech off a contributers idea.
You now understand the fundamental system in place and we can begin to exploit it!
Pre-established order
From the moment you participate in a group, your role very much determines your status; therefore, you can become a producer simply by changing your role.
However, watch out this will anger everyone.
Have you ever had more than one person try talk to you at once?
This will happen a lot when you're first establishing who you are, and it's very important to both play your roll well and play their role well.
This means that as a producer you obviously have to produce other people and not fall victim to being produced yourself.
It's also beneficial to establish yourself as the producer before the circle forms.
It's harder to break pre-established order.
The producer
At their very core they do the producing and so cannot be produced.
Have you ever had someone kind of question you.
A contributer asks you are you really eating that?
Note that the contributer has elevated his status to a producer and has brought you down to their level.
This is why people bully!
It's uncommon for a leecher to try this, but if you suddenly become a contributer out of no where, I'm sure they'd try bring you down in this exact way.
Another producer looks at your sandwich, yeah that's disgusting.
You'd think that by the producer producing too, it'd all be red.
However, he has just agreed with the status change of the contributer to producer and so has become a contributer himself.
His job is to produce and keep this from happening.
You were already higher status than the contributer trying to bring you down and so only needed to say, "Yeah, my sandwich is awesome STFU."
Producers can agree with status shifts from time to time but if they often do it, they'll find that they become contributers.
This brings me to another point, contributers like to play producer by putting the leechers down and getting cheap acknowledgements from the producers.
Exploit
It's time to make it happen.
The producer realizes two things:
- Every group member wants the appraisal of the producers and thus the whole group.
- In a two person conversation there can only be two roles. Producer and contributer or leech.
Think about what this means and why it works because all producers use this and understand it.
It might look a little something like this.
Girl: Yeah, you wish you could get me.
The girl smiles at her friends.
You: Rub her head, I wish -- I could get you....
Mocking girl. You barely notice her friends.
Girl: Laughing, stop it, stop it.
Feels embarrassed in front of her friends.
If you took her little attempt at producing seriously, you'd end up tickled pink.
Not to mention, you're so obviously the producer as you take little notice of the leeching friends while she felt the need to perform for them (as all people do).
Next time you're socialising, ask yourself: what role am I playing?