About SpeedDating

[huisy]

Before I start, Let me clear something. I'm telling you about this service because I think it would greatly benefit you. I'm not selling it.


I've recently tried something here in London called SpeedDating. For those of you who don't know what it is, here's a lowdown:

1 hour, 20 girls, 3 minutes each.

That's it! It's all arranged at a pub. 20 girls sit at a table each, and men go and sit opposite them. After 3 minutes a buzzer sounds and you move on. If you like the person, you tick a card. For matches (both of you ticked yes), email details are sent out to both people the next day.

MY EXPERIENCE:

Both the men and women there are generally acceptable people, and not the kind you would think are desperate to get a date. I made several useful contacts out of the men (I'm planning to work in the City of London) that were there. Mostly it was people in demanding jobs who don't go out to bars too often. Many of the guys said they chatted up more women in the hour than they had over the past month. Even I must admit I've never managed anything close to 20 chat-ups in 60 minutes.

As for the women, I've split them up like this: 5 mingers (that means I'd prefer my dog), 10 datable girls (5-7), 3 lookers (8+), 2 stunners (9+).

I ticked 7 girls, and I got 4 matches. Not bad. They don't tell you if a girl liked you if you didn't like them. Shame - always good for an ego boost!


BENEFITS:

Let's start with the obvious ones. I've been busy recently, and had only managed 4 numbers and 1 measly date last month. A bad performance, I know, but that's beside the point:

I've now got 6 (including ones not sourced from speeddating)dates lined up over the next week. I consider this mightily impressive, and it's great to be overloaded with women. This method gets dates. Simple.


Now, for the more important benefits!

Whilst I consider myself to have reasonable success on the dating scene, one of my weaknesses was the opening 5 minutes. Conversation didn't often flow naturally in the beginning, and I started performing after that (if she was still around!!).

I don't think I can practice openings on 20 women in 60 minutes anywhere else. I got good at it, and after the speeddating, I went out and got 3 numbers easily at another bar.

Finally, this is a confidence booster. This board is littered with "how to boost confidence" posts, and, as has been seen, the only real way is to get out there and try it. Best analogy I can think of is driving a car - It was shyt scary first time out, but now it's natural (for those who drive). That state is acheivable with dating as well.

The problem is people who lack confidence just won't go out and try it. The best solution to this I've seen so far is boot camp, but it still requires a lot of effort from the person. This way, once you have paid (£20 by the way), you will HAVE to talk to 20 women, and you won't get a rejection, just a buzzer! I highly recommend this as a confidence booster mainly, with the added bonus of dates!!

UK website is www.speeddating.com

for the record, one of the stunners, two of the lookers and one of the datable girls mathed me. Not bad!

 

[Mr.Bates]

I've done this many times here in Toronto with several outfits. I have only had mixed success so far. It's worthwhile if only because it gives you a chance to hone your skills. But don't expect too much.

For the record, I've never not had at least one match. Usually I will come away with 2 or 3, but I usually don't 'tick' many women for a match. But so far I've never gone beyond date 2.

While there are usually quite a few fvckable women in every group, for some reason the flake factor seems to be very high. And the women there will overwhelmngly be teachers. But I have generally found that speed dating seems to attract four types of women which need to be excluded:

(a) Women who are unattractive
(b) Women who have been burned badly by a previous relationship. These women tend to go on a 'dare' or have been 'put up to this' by a friend. They will usually be very b!tchy and will react with hostility to C&F.
(c) Women with no social skills/sense of humour and are as dull as a butter knife. They will not get C&F because they either don't understand it or they take it personally.
(d) Professional women who are married to their careers and are looking for someone just as busy as they are.

The rest are the ones worth pursuing.

(a) is self-explanatory. (b) women will probably not likely circle 'yes' to anyone there and will complain about the whole thing. (c) women will drone on about themselves and will put you to sleep. And avoid (d) women like the plague...trust me, if you try to make a date with them they will have to put you in on a conference call as they plan their monthly social calendar. If you're lucky you'll get a coffee date three weeks from Wednesday.

Here are some tips:

(1)
PRE-SCREEN FOR FLAKES!
If you do get a match, be prepared for a high flake-out level. These chicks will usually get several matches, and they are just playing their options. Just because she liked you that night doesn't remember who the hell you are today. Even though it's an uphill battle, you MUST PRACTICE YOUR DJ SKILLS -- flirting, kino, etc. IT"S CRUCIAL!

(2)
YOU MUST BE DIFFERENT!
You will get asked two questions over and over again: "Have you ever done this before?" and "What do you do?". I'm at the point now where I make a game of it and try to do ****y and Funny. Unfortunately, many women in this environment don't respond to that. Nevertheless, you must keep it up.

The upside to this is that most of your competitors (i.e. the other men) will mostly have no social skills themselves or poor English skills. But beware -- there WILL be some 'GQ models' that will give you a run for your money.

Be a man and stand your ground. Once time, a chick actually had a list of questions and started to interview me. She had the nerve to ask me "what my greatest weakness" is. I told her that I didn't have enough time to think of a "bullsh!t answer for her".

(3)
SEDUCE WITH YOUR EYES!
You don't have much time. As I said, C&F doesn't usually go over well here. You have to seduce her with your eyes and kino.

(4)
MINGLE BEFORE AND AFTER!
This is probably the most important. Forget about the girls you meet during the actual event. Afterwards, when it's over, many people stay behind for another drink or two. You will know that they are all single, so go for it. It will be much, much easier to practice your DJ skills this way.

I do still go once and a while because it's a numbers game. And I recognize the fact that early on I was a total AFC. But these women you meet for 3 or 5 do not usually respond well to the DJ mentality. It's quite a challenge. If you do try it, good luck.

 

[huisy]

Good Points. I can identify with all the types you mentioned!

Since the women will get her pick, ultimate success is not as likely, but it can work.

As both of us say, the most important aspect of this is practice. Nothing beats experience. Nothing.

 

[LADZMAN]

ARE THE DRINKS EXPENSIVE?
24 OLD THATS YOUNG MIN AGE IN AD WAS HIGHER THAN 24
IN PAPER AD SAYS MEN UP TO AGE 55

GETTING THEIR EARLY WOULD SEEM DESPARATE SINCE AD SAYS STARTS EARLY

DO YOU GET GIRLS HOME PHONE NUMBER IF MATCH UP OR DO YOU GET ONLY EMAIL?????????????????????????????????????

IF PEOPLE STAY AFTERWARDS DO YOU BUY THEM DRINKS? DID YOU

IF YOU STAY AFTERWARDS DOES EVERYONE GO & ASK IF THEY MATCHED?

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO WAIT TO NEXT DAY TO SEE IF MATCH?

AD SAYS THEY TAKE YOUR PICTURE IN CASE GIRL FORGETS IS THAT A GOOD IDEA?

 

[JUST ME]

any others try this speedating?

mine is tomm.- wed. in detriot- let me know! thanks! jm

 

[vudufixit]

I've tried it...

So far, haven't gone out with any of my matches - but I sat across from one gal who falls into the category of being "put up to it." She was absolutely not into being there at all.

The next time I'm faced with someone like that, I think I'll
say the following:

Me: "I guess you'd rather not be here, eh?"

Her: "No"

Me: "Well, in that case, I won't waste our time."

And simply walk away to go to the bathroom, to
get a drink, etc.

Would that be a good way to handle it?