About handling rejection

[FearlessEngineer]

Hi everybody, it's good to be back
I was wondering how some of you react to rejection, especially from somebody that's in your inner circle of friends.
Thank you, and goid day

 

[mental blockstack]

Next

 

[RangerMIke]

You have to go back 10,000 years to understand why rejection is hard on us. In the cave man days, if you were rejected by a woman than it could be the end of you because it was an indication to all the females in your small group that you have low social value, and your mating opportunities would be limited. The hotter the female, the more risk you took, since the hotter ones likely had Alpha male mates, and he an his buddies might make sure you never return from the hunt. Approach and rejection came with serious reprecussions. This is why we have these reservations. These concerns no longer exist so as long as you know why this is happening to you and acknowledge that this is NOT a concern, then it's easier to just ignore your reservation and just go for what you want.

 

[SgtSplacker]

You need to structure all of your interactions with a girl around not putting yourself in a place where you can be rejected. You don't just ask a girl out on a date, you ask her what she's doing first and see how she answers, from there tell her about the place or activity, if shes interested then ask when you are pretty sure she will say yes. If she's already not acting like she wants to go there or do that with you then just drop the convo.


If you're not careful you might get in a situation where you are gaming one of her friends who asks her if you are cool. Then she replies that you asked her out and she rejected you, this kills the man.

 

[dustmuffin]

I defer to turning off your give a sh ittet. If you don't care it won't hurt. I was at this stage with women when I started with my x. I didn't give a rats ass about her until I went off my meds and she dumped me. Be aloof dont care, that is a key. It also helps because no one can inflict emotional pain.

 

[fastlife]

It's all a matter of frame--and frame starts with how you frame a given interaction/result to yourself. I see rejection as amusing--I mean obviously the girl wants me but doesn't have to confidence to think she can hold me down; or she's just shy; or she is afraid of seeming slutty (OK, so you see how that statement isn't necessarily true but it's a much more useful frame than hanging your self worth in the balance every time you make a move on a girl). Plates also help.

I actually have a recent anecdote that touches on this subject. Two weekends ago, I met a girl at my buddy's house--friend of his gf, lives out of town. She was hot but super reserved (wouldn't even make eye contact). We all go to bed--and she and I are on couches in the living room (she lies down first and pretends to go to sleep). I start talking to her and invite her over to my couch (which was like 3x the size of the one she was on). She declines. We talk--I keep trying to sexualize the conversation; she laughs but doesn't bite. She is making eye contact though. So I grab her arm, start stroking her forearm, look her in the eye, and tell her to come over to my couch. She declines. We go to sleep.

At this point, I've been 'rejected' for a solid 4 or 5 hours (the entire time I've known this girl). She tells my boy and his gf about how I tried to get her to share my couch the next morning. But since my self worth still isn't affected I can share some laughs with them about it--they know how I am. Plus, my frame is still that this girl really wants to sleep with me.

So fast forward to 4 or 5 days ago--I'm in a city that's closer to where this girl lives (on unrelated business). I look her up on FB and shoot her some messages, joking that we should hang out again but she's a little too sexually aggressive and'll have to tone it down. Busting on her for being shy. She starts to qualify. I ask her how far away she is from the city I'm in--she answers; I tell her I can possibly make a detour for Saturday night. Long story short, I get there and we go 4x over the course of the night.

I had plenty of opportunities to let her 'reject' me. But I had a frame that allowed me to call her bluff and make things happen in the total absence of positive reinforcement.

 

[Yewki]

You have to go back 10,000 years to understand why rejection is hard on us. In the cave man days, if you were rejected by a woman than it could be the end of you because it was an indication to all the females in your small group that you have low social value, and your mating opportunities would be limited. The hotter the female, the more risk you took, since the hotter ones likely had Alpha male mates, and he an his buddies might make sure you never return from the hunt. Approach and rejection came with serious reprecussions. This is why we have these reservations. These concerns no longer exist so as long as you know why this is happening to you and acknowledge that this is NOT a concern, then it's easier to just ignore your reservation and just go for what you want.

... really? This is like saying you have to go back 10,000 years to understand why hitting your thumb with a hammer hurts. No, you don't. And this explanation doesn't even makes sense. Rejection is a very broad term that applies to much more than ancient alpha mating traditions.

 

[NSX-R]

The character in my profile pic used to say " Getting dumped makes a man stronger " .
The more you get used to something, the less hard would be to overcome it.

I follow these principles and I feel good.

 

[RangerMIke]

... really? This is like saying you have to go back 10,000 years to understand why hitting your thumb with a hammer hurts. No, you don't. And this explanation doesn't even makes sense. Rejection is a very broad term that applies to much more than ancient alpha mating traditions.

Understanding why a guy, who would jump on a hand grenade to save his buddy without hesitation, freezes when it comes to women is important to objectively minded individuals. Understanding our deep seated motivation is the first step to overcoming them. I did not say that rejection was a narrow concept, but fear of rejection, by women is... Anyway, glad you don't need advice...

 

[dustmuffin]

Understanding why a guy, who would jump on a hand grenade to save his buddy without hesitation, freezes when it comes to women is important to objectively minded individuals. Understanding our deep seated motivation is the first step to overcoming them. I did not say that rejection was a narrow concept, but fear of rejection, by women is... Anyway, glad you don't need advice...

I like advice even IG o already know it. Reading it again reinforces the inflation