abit of help..

[DJNS]

Hey new on the forum although been reading the site for some time, take it easy on me..

Just some suggestions needed anyway..

Me & this girl got real close, she was with a guy already but I know I made her feel special and she knew that too.. She'd ring me or txt like half 2 in the mornin just to see if Im awake and then if I was, we'd just text each other til the early hours of the morn, or sometimes she'd ring near midnite, and we'd talk til like 2/3 about anything and everything.. But the thing was, I kinda was annoyed one day, not at her, but kinda let it out in the nicest way I could, and let her know basically that listen I cant be doing with whats going on, either you be mine or we end this cos we're way too close just to be friends. So basically she kinda played it down and said Im with someone so I cant, not dont want to but cant..

So I kinda took it easy for a while, tried to ignore her, ok not ignore her, but pay less attention to her. It was hard cos we at Uni together and it aint easy to stay apart when we're in the same classes near enough everyday.. But I did for a while, and Id see her every other day, a little upset so I couldnt help but have to comfort her.

Recently, her grandma passed away, but becos her other halfs outta the country, I was the one she turned to.. So I had to comfort her and re-assure her all over again, and basically we got real close again. But recently I got the feeling that she aint being appreciative of everything she gets from me, and like when other guys are about, they tend to get more attention than I do. So basically, cos Uni's finished now after the exams, I havent text her since, and its been like 7 days, normally a day wouldnt pass when either of us wouldnt text the other..

So was just wondering from some of the more experienced DJ's around if Im doing the right thing here.. The truth is, I know I shouldnt be missing her but I kinda feel it cos I really do like her alot.. anyway any advice would be appreciated..

 

[DJNS]

.......

 

[Last Man Standing]

Quit being her emotional tampon, as they say here!!!

Her guy has more to offer, whatever it is, so quit asking her to drop everything and come to you - you are secondary - a man should never be secondary!!

Get a girl where you lead and she follows!!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Well, as much as you miss her or want to see her. You will have to cut off contact. This could be hard if you have classes with her but, none the less you have to start ignoring her. "Give her the gift of missing you." She already said she doesnt want or cant have more than a friend relationship with you so why waste time and energy on her? Start flirting with other girls infront of her. You can read more about getting out of the "Friend-Zone" in the DJ Bible.

 

[Sweep]

forget about her; you've already screwed up in a bunch of ways. There are a couple moments in your post where its clear that you're just trying to make yourself feel better about things and you should probably start being harder on yourself if you want to become more successful.

First--if you actually did make her feel special in any way that was only because you were a guy interested in speaking intimately with her without thinking on behalf of your ****. Girls love guys like this but won't hook up with them: how do you expect her to think about your **** if you can't even put it on the table.

Second--why do you have to let out your annoyance in the nicest way possible? Girls like passion.

Third--She doesn't want to! When she said that she "can't" that was her being nice to the sweet boy. If she wanted to she would, end of story.

Fourth--You didn't have to comfort her, you wanted to and all that does is look out for her instead of looking out for yourself becuase she does not want you the way you want her. In the end, which is more important?

Fifth--Of course she's not appreciative. She's able to completely reject you and you'll still come back to be her shoulder to cry on.

You sound like a sensitive bro and you'll have no trouble making a girl fall head over heels in love with you once you first learn how to make her wanna f*** you. Sorry if I didn't take it easy enough on you but a little toughening up is exactly what you need.

 

[MacDiddy]

you had an opportunity to take her and you blew it. You gotta wait for the right moment expecially when she more vulnerable and having a hard time with her current relationship before you make your move. Making those ultimatums, make you looked very needy in her eyes and she's probably glad things don't lead to serious because she probably didn't want to lead you on.

Just goes to prove that "decent" women and "any" men (particularly single ones) cannot be friends.

 

[DJNS]

Taken on board, appreciate what everyone's sayin..

Sweep, I guess your right, especially your last line. The thing is there's **** loads of other girls who'd snap me up if they had the opportunity, but iv never really bothered as I have with this girl. I think your right, the thing is though, back when I first got to know her, she used to like call me a ladiesman, cos like Id talk to any girl who'd Id come across and strike up a convo.. But since I got close to her I kinda cut that out a little.. maybe I have become a little too soft and should pay her less attention, even though it may be a little difficult..
I guess if she wants me, she'l come get me..

 

[Desdinova]

Let's look at your mistakes:

Hey new on the forum although been reading the site for some time, take it easy on me..

If you're looking for people telling you what you want to hear, you've come to the wrong place.

She'd ring me or txt like half 2 in the mornin just to see if Im awake and then if I was, we'd just text each other til the early hours of the morn, or sometimes she'd ring near midnite, and we'd talk til like 2/3 about anything and everything..

When you are dating, or trying to land a date with a woman, keep ALL conversation on the phone to a minimum. The phone should only be used to set up dates. Besides, if you do all your talking on the phone, you won't have anything to talk to her about on the date.

Women talk to their girlfriends for hours on the phone. You have essentially become one of her girlfriends.

either you be mine or we end this cos we're way too close just to be friends.

You can't tell a woman to be attracted to you. You have to display value and sexuality if you want her to become naturally attracted to you. Attraction isn't a switch that is flipped on and off.

So basically she kinda played it down and said Im with someone so I cant, not dont want to but cant..

WTF are you doing pursuing a woman who isn't single? Unless you're extremely skilled and experienced at attracting women, you will not succeed in "convincing" her that she should date you instead of her bf.

Recently, her grandma passed away, but becos her other halfs outta the country, I was the one she turned to.. So I had to comfort her and re-assure her all over again, and basically we got real close again.

No, YOU got close again. You became her emotional tampon and let her bleed all her emotions, feelings, and problems into you. You're her best friend. Women don't fvck their friends.

So was just wondering from some of the more experienced DJ's around if Im doing the right thing here.. The truth is, I know I shouldnt be missing her but I kinda feel it cos I really do like her alot.. anyway any advice would be appreciated..

Advice: Quit being her goddam girlfriend and move on. Oh yeah, and scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on the link that says "DJ Bible" Take a good week and absorb the information in there.

 

[DJNS]

You know what, even though you've spoken to me as though im a little kid who's just been grounded, I kinda respect that, youv'e given me a few things to ponder over, and I guess the main thing Im learning outta this is that Iv developed too much of a soft spot for her..

To be honest desdinova, I wasnt pursuing her. For starters, when we started Uni, she found my number through some next people that I got to know, and followed it up from there. I didnt bother chasing her around for a number or anything.. As for be mine or we end this, I didnt exactly express itl ike that. It was a long conversation after she told me that she was with someone, that I said what we have is special but I dont wanna continue this..

I guess it was me who got close again, but it wasnt easy as Id not been through this kinda relationship where its felt so good, I guess it was just inexperience..

 

[squirrels]

You're her girlfriend. You're doing the "right thing" if you want to be her therapist, but not if you want to be intimate with her.

Move on.