AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need help here

[Jango_Xavier]

I really dont know whats wrong with me Ive read the Bible and all the other post and stuff like that but am a complete AFfvckingC.
When I see a chick that I want to talk to I think "I know exactly what im gonna talk about" but just before I go up I think thats BS and lame think of something beter" so in short I completely bumb out.
The other thing is I just reject myself because I want to talk to females but theres something that holds me back for example no joke but before I try to talk I slip, fall over or someone stops me or there like a brick wall in front of me.
Can someone help me PLEASE because I really do want to be successsful?
P.S Its so bad out of everyone I know I dont get any even my parents do it more.

 

[InLawsHateMe]

Next time you approach a babe, think to yourself... 'this chic uses toilet paper too. Besides, I'm not just any Joe here, I'm THE Joe.' ....confidence dude, because you don't need them, you WANT them. Trust yourself, trust that no matter what she has heard before, she hasn't heard anything until she has talked to you.

Also, like yourself, most women are insecure. They are just as affraid to talk with you as you are with them, so wtf? Stand tall, walk up, and say 'Hi there.' ...if she shoots ya down, so f'n what, obviously, she ain't that bright. If ya have to, brush yourself off, and forge on.... never say die dude... NEVER!

 

[Ronin I]

Maybe do a search on the "DJ Boot Camp" posts and start there.

I've never actually run through the actual boot camp myself but it seems to be a good regimen.

Basically it helps to condition you to talk to attractive women but you start off slow (ex. making EC with strangers, then saying hi,. then having conversations, etc.).

It sounds like you just need to "break" yourself in a little bit.

Trust me - once you get rejected dozens of times the fear goes away. You realize that it's not really that bad. Besides in between those dozens of rejections you're bound to find a "buyer" which only serves to build your confidence.

The best way to conquer a fear is to confront it head on.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by Jango_Xavier

When I see a chick that I want to talk to I think "I know exactly what im gonna talk about" but just before I go up I think thats BS and lame think of something beter" so in short I completely bumb out.

That's your main problem right there - you are THINKING too much.

You need to practice the three secind rule - just do it. MUCH of the time it is not what you say that matters but HOW you say it. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to say/do the perfect thing.

ALSO, you need to learn to laugh at yourself a little bit. I can't tell you how many times I've approached a woman at a bar, opened and just completely blanked. Often when this happens it will go something like this:

Ronin I: Hi, how you doing?
HB: *Smile* Good, thanks.
Ronin I: (blanks and doesn't say anything).
HB: (walks away).

Usually when this happens Ill usually chuckle to myself and think "Well that didn't go exactly as I had hoped" and shrug my shoulders and move on.

My point is - I don't stress over it - before OR after. I just have fun with it.

Worse case I see her later and give it another go (and possibly get shot down harder- so f*ckin' what?).

Have fun with it!

 

[bugsquish]

You ARE gonna mess up at first. And it DOESN'T matter. Once you get more used to overcoming the first obstacle of actually approaching the woman, you start to relax about what you say.

I do this now (I got this idea off someone on the board can't remember who) to get me used to opening my mouth. Whenever I see girls out jogging (attractive or not it doesn't matter) I always say "Run forrest!" and smile right at them until they pass. They almost always laugh or smile back and I feel damn good about it. The best thing is they are on the move I don't need to worry about the conversation or close. I know it's not very practical for pickups but it IS a confidence boost.

As for actual pickups, I found having rehearsed lines is a bad idea, cuz it gives you something to stumble over. After a few failiures I decided to just say hi and say whatever comes into my head, no matter how lame. Yes I made some mistakes and had some rejections but you bet I had some successes too.

 

[Dee-Zy]

The next time u see a hot girl

Say this:

"Hi, How are you do'N"

Then come back here N tell me what happened.

if you can't do that - leave this board forever cuz nobody can help you.

GL

GHOST

 

[Dee-Zy]

that's great - now really try to push yourself to talk to women.

Just Hi! How you do'N. Don't even think about more then that.
If u have an awkward pause ask for their name.

If u really choke - that's ok, it's all about the learning process. Say goodbye N leave.

Do that for now - N keep me updated as to what happened.