A womans past.

[Jair213]

Wanted to ask this question.

You meet a chick, shes not bpd, she treats you with respect, she adores you, she submits to you, shes real good to you as a person, as a friend, as a girlfriend. Just a real good woman to you all around.

But then you find out from another source about her sexual past. And you find out she has some serious baggage. Would this affect your relationship and how you see her? How you treat her? Etc
Would you feel different about her even though she's all around a good woman to you and treats you how a man is suppose to be treated and respected?

How would you guys go about this?

(This is not happening to me just curious how you guys would feel being in this situation, and watt would you guys do etc)

 

[Starfvcks 64]

Every girl has a ton of baggage and history that she thinks you'll never know about. Women know how to tell a story in their favor and that means leaving out crucial details.

The inexperienced man may ask a woman about her past, and she'll only give him a sample. She'll only give him what she wants him to know and keep the rest a secret for as long as she possibly can. A man with more experience won't ask a girl about her past because he already knows about it - even if he just met her.

The following statement is essentially a "manosphere" mantra: Women are masters at manipulation.

You don't need to know every detail, and you never will, so don't worry about it or trip. Spend time with her today, based on her behavior today because women can, and will, completely change overnight. Thinking a girl is the exception, special, different, etc is the first sign of oneitis.

I'm not being negative. Think about it like this:
A guy takes the red pill and is eager to stop being a beta loser. Would you want his future GFs to hold his past against him?

 

[Jair213]

Every girl has a ton of baggage and history that she thinks you'll never know about. Women know how to tell a story in their favor and that means leaving out crucial details.

The inexperienced man may ask a woman about her past, and she'll only give him a sample. She'll only give him what she wants him to know and keep the rest a secret for as long as she possibly can. A man with more experience won't ask a girl about her past because he already knows about it - even if he just met her.

The following statement is essentially a "manosphere" mantra: Women are masters at manipulation.

You don't need to know every detail, and you never will, so don't worry about it or trip. Spend time with her today, based on her behavior today because women can, and will, completely change overnight. Thinking a girl is the exception, special, different, etc is the first sign of oneitis.

I'm not being negative. Think about it like this:
A guy takes the red pill and is eager to stop being a beta loser. Would you want his future GFs to hold his past against him?

that was beautiful bro(no homo)

i agree with you. so the alpha/don juan never asks about her past? etc

 

[Starfvcks 64]

Personally, I find ways to get answers on the DL. For example, if someone tells me something very sketchy about a girl's past i'll look into it on my own, and bring it up to her covertly so she has no idea it's about her specifically.
At that point I basically just watch to see if she's lying or not.

The only reason I'm so confident about what I'm saying is because I've spent a lot of time hacking girls emails and reading their phones when they were sleeping. I know some guys will think it's insecure or wrong - and when I first did it it WAS out of insecurity. Once was enough to learn the message and after that I did it simply out of curiosity because you need to test a hypothesis several times to be sure. Now I don't even care because I already know.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Star****s enlighten us about what you have seen through e mail and texts?

 

[nemz]

If she's clean, i.e. no STD's her past is none of your business and the same goes for you, live in the moment!!

 

[Jaylan]

Define baggage. Some men are more uptight than others. It really depends.

Im fine with a girl having a similar past to mine. Ive had my fun, but nothing over the top. If a girls had a mixture of relationships and some casual fun, I consider that par for the course. As long as her number isnt ridiculously high, shes clean, didnt have too many risky sexual trists, then Im fine.

Also she cant be someone whos cheated or feels no regrets if she helped someone cheat before.

 

[rascal99v]

But then you find out from another source about her sexual past. And you find out she has some serious baggage.

I wouldn't trust a "reliable source" unless that source was actually banging her and knew all the details. Anybody can make things up or stretch the truth about someone. Unless you have a virgin on your hands, every chick is going to have a sexual past. Chicks are having sex at younger ages and are having more partners so their numbers are going to be higher. What kind of baggage are we talking about here? Cheating? Lots of dudes that have been inside or kinky sh1t that she was doing?

Would this affect your relationship and how you see her? How you treat her? Etc

If she has a history of cheating then you should know what you're dealing with. If it affects you that much, then you shouldn't even be with her. As long as she is good to you, why would you treat her different?

Would you feel different about her even though she's all around a good woman to you and treats you how a man is suppose to be treated and respected?

Why would I? As long as she is not giving me a reason not to trust her, then there is no reason to feel any different.

How would you guys go about this?

(This is not happening to me just curious how you guys would feel being in this situation, and watt would you guys do etc)

You should keep banging her and enjoy having a cool chick until she fvcks up, then she should be gone. I'm curious to as why you are bringing this up?

 

[TheException]

I wouldn't trust a "reliable source" unless that source was actually banging her and knew all the details. Anybody can make things up or stretch the truth about someone. Unless you have a virgin on your hands, every chick is going to have a sexual past. Chicks are having sex at younger ages and are having more partners so their numbers are going to be higher. What kind of baggage are we talking about here? Cheating? Lots of dudes that have been inside or kinky sh1t that she was doing?



If she has a history of cheating then you should know what you're dealing with. If it affects you that much, then you shouldn't even be with her. As long as she is good to you, why would you treat her different?



Why would I? As long as she is not giving me a reason not to trust her, then there is no reason to feel any different.



You should keep banging her and enjoy having a cool chick until she fvcks up, then she should be gone. I'm curious to as why you are bringing this up?

rascal youve been spot on as of late. Good stuff. "Keep it simple stupid". Never ask about a woman's past because it will always lead to feelings of jealousy and insecurity. Why would you want to know how many guys shes fvcked or how many boyfriends she has had? All that matters is how she treats you and her loyalty to the exclusive relationship. Its hypocritical to have sex with as many women as possible, but then criticize women for being "above a certain number". They will not be honest anyways for fear that it will fvck up her relationship with you.

I've spent a lot of time hacking girls emails and reading their phones when they were sleeping. I know some guys will think it's insecure or wrong

This is pathetic. There is just no excuse besides being an insecure chump. You can rationalize it to yourself however you like....but its still fear and insecurity.

 

[Starfvcks 64]

but its still fear and insecurity.

I admitted that though. I would never advise a guy to do it, but IF someone did he would find the same thing. After I did it to my ex I just kept doing it for fun. You can doubt that, but I know the difference. It's really more about discovering how to unlock and get passed the passwords that I enjoy, not so much the contents of the messages.
I like going to places I'm not supposed to be, and I've always been like that. I love climbing buildings and "trespassing" and I feel the same way doing this stuff.

I'm sure there is some psychological analysis that explains why I'm like that, but it's all good.

It's also worth noting that there is no fear involved in what I would find. I would be more surprised to find nothing "incriminating". I believe that a guy feels like he needs to check his GFs messages, he has no reason to stay with her.
The first time I read my exes messages was an accident. I thought I was logged into my account and a message from some guy popped up. I soon realized I was using her account - and then I watched a chat play out right in front of me because she was also logged in with her phone at work.
Being "blue pill" I got paranoid and ended up reading all of her shlt, including texts and other accounts. That was basically what lead me to the red pill.

 

[Bokanovsky]

What is the best predictor of a woman's future behaviour? Her past behaviour. People rarely change.

 

[Johnny Alias]

Past behavior is by far the best predictor of future behavior. If you're not screening based on past behavior then you're not screening women at all.


https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2010/09/16/why-sluts-make-bad-wives/

Slvts are not to be trusted. They have diminishing returns for each new man in their lives. Ive yet to get to know one that was a backstabbing, lying, crazy cheater.

This is TRUE.

For example, once a cheater always a cheater. This holds almost every time.

If she was also an alcoholic/junkie before you odds are she will become one again.

If she was a slut before you... she's probably a slut now and holding back...

Beware the Idealization Phase IF she is a BPD or other Cluster B...

Second Phase: Idealization

In this phase of the relationship, she is very interested in your whereabouts. She likes to know the nitty-gritty details in your life. She adores your talents. She is interested in what you do. She puts you up on a high pedestal. You feel like a king around her. She tells you that you are everything she could possibly want in a man.

She worships you like you're the perfect guy. In her eyes, you could do no wrong. She would tie your shoe laces, fix your collar and offer to do errands. She would call you many times a day to make sure that you are alright, need anything or just praise you for being the most beautiful being in her life. She will even apologize unceasingly if it rained outside. Every inch of you matters to her. She even becomes involved in everything you like. You feel that for sure compatibility is not an issue.

Just be cautious and don't become attached! Look for warning signs... though I have to be honest it looks like you already found one. I know women can change... THROUGH THERAPY. This RARELY happens by itself... they can temper their tendencies to land the guy... and then they remanifest as the cheating housewife while you're sweating out a day of work and she's banging the mailman.

Don't get attached. Give it time. Don't RUSH. Don't be me and move her in. Learned that the HARD way. Start making a list of effed up crap that you notice. DON'T brush it off.

No one's perfect... but remember the Clusters are expert chameleons. If you give them enough time, or in mine's case, enough drinks, the mask will drop and you'll see them for who they really are.

9-12 months... sometimes less...

 

[sylvester the cat]

Beware the Idealization Phase IF she is a BPD or other Cluster B...

Second Phase: Idealization

In this phase of the relationship, she is very interested in your whereabouts. She likes to know the nitty-gritty details in your life. She adores your talents. She is interested in what you do. She puts you up on a high pedestal. You feel like a king around her. She tells you that you are everything she could possibly want in a man.

She worships you like you're the perfect guy. In her eyes, you could do no wrong. She would tie your shoe laces, fix your collar and offer to do errands. She would call you many times a day to make sure that you are alright, need anything or just praise you for being the most beautiful being in her life. She will even apologize unceasingly if it rained outside. Every inch of you matters to her. She even becomes involved in everything you like. You feel that for sure compatibility is not an issue..

yup. been with this type. i was a stage hand and started screwing the leading lady of an off west end theatre production. she was used to being the star, the centre of attention and yet she treated me like a king - she even made breakfast for my flatmate one morning. as soon as that show was over and she was involved in another production i could sense her getting distant. my cue to exit stage before she got the chance to do it to me. that very act kept her hamster spinning for a few months but alas it wasn't 'to be'. too bad. she was pretty dirty behind that goody two shoes stage persona.

 

[Lotus Effect]

This is TRUE.

For example, once a cheater always a cheater. This holds almost every time.

If she was also an alcoholic/junkie before you odds are she will become one again.

If she was a slut before you... she's probably a slut now and holding back...

Beware the Idealization Phase IF she is a BPD or other Cluster B...

Second Phase: Idealization

In this phase of the relationship, she is very interested in your whereabouts. She likes to know the nitty-gritty details in your life. She adores your talents. She is interested in what you do. She puts you up on a high pedestal. You feel like a king around her. She tells you that you are everything she could possibly want in a man.

She worships you like you're the perfect guy. In her eyes, you could do no wrong. She would tie your shoe laces, fix your collar and offer to do errands. She would call you many times a day to make sure that you are alright, need anything or just praise you for being the most beautiful being in her life. She will even apologize unceasingly if it rained outside. Every inch of you matters to her. She even becomes involved in everything you like. You feel that for sure compatibility is not an issue.

Just be cautious and don't become attached! Look for warning signs... though I have to be honest it looks like you already found one. I know women can change... THROUGH THERAPY. This RARELY happens by itself... they can temper their tendencies to land the guy... and then they remanifest as the cheating housewife while you're sweating out a day of work and she's banging the mailman.

Don't get attached. Give it time. Don't RUSH. Don't be me and move her in. Learned that the HARD way. Start making a list of effed up crap that you notice. DON'T brush it off.

No one's perfect... but remember the Clusters are expert chameleons. If you give them enough time, or in mine's case, enough drinks, the mask will drop and you'll see them for who they really are.

9-12 months... sometimes less...

^^THIS^^
I don't mean to be rude and correct you mate, but even though what PairPlus said is True...

...What you have said is truer! It is exactly what you have said! Even the time frame!

And it is amazing how they can't see that they are the problem. Despite my personal experience with my BPD Ex that I have talked about on these forums over and over again, a very good friend of one of my actual plates is classic BPD, and yet, she can't seem to understand why all her relationships fail, or really grasp that there is something wrong with her, even though she is a single mom already (27 y/o)

Anyway, +1rep!